Ask the Hosts
by Shashuko the Paisley Maiden
Summary: Ever have a question you've wanted to ask Haruhi? How about Tamaki,Kyouya, or the twins? For any questions for the Ouran High Host Club, come here!
1. The Madness

The story takes place in a cubic room. The walls, ceiling, and floors are all white. There are bright pink, green, and blue couches, tables, and chairs on the floor, white rectangular lights on the ceiling, and a huge TV screen on one of the walls. there is a girl in a paisley dress sitting on a pink couch, wearing a blue, green, and pink paisley dress. Her eyes were the purest blue her hair was-

But enough about that. This isn't a Sue Fic.

The girl clicked a button on the pink remote she was holding. A swirling green vortex popped up on the wall behind her. The members of the Host Club walked through.

"Oi! Stupid otaku! Waddaya want?" said the twins.

"I'm gonna do an 'Q&A' fic. Who's in?"

"Who'd want to do something stupid like that?" Haruhi questioned. "And aren't those stories supposed to be in script format?"

"I'm trying to be somewhat original, so shut up. Besides, the public wants to know! Everyone has questions about you guys. You're some of the awesomest anime characters ever!"

"That's true! We are the Ouran High Host Club!" sang a very stupid blonde boy, with rose petals swirling around him. "Our job is to make women happy! Let us commence! Give me all your questions!"

"There aren't any questions yet, dunce. This is the first chapter."

"Oh."

The paisley-covered girl smiled and turned to the cameras hidden in the wall.

"Hi! I'm Shashuko, the Paisley Maiden. This is my Ouran High Host Club Q&A fanfiction. For those of you who've never seen a Q&A fic, here's the rundown:

**1) **The readers review with questions about the characters of the story who are participating (usually kidnapped).

**2) **I will answer your question in the next chapter.

**3)** I will NOT answer questions I deem gross or if you swear. Thank you."

"This is pointless," sighed Haruhi.

"NO IT ISN'T!" Tamaki sobbed. "How is making the fans happy pointless?"

Shashuko sweatdropped. " Err... well, please review with your questions! See ya next week! Sayounara! Ja ne!"

The picture fades to black with the tune of 'One Tin Soldier' playing in the background.


	2. Our First Questions!

"And we're back! So, we only have 4 reviews... but, one of them has a lot of questions and I'm about to go on vacation, so let's get this over with!" Shashuko appears in the room from before, but this time she's wearing what looks suspiciously like the Cafe Mew Mew uniform, only grey. "Let's call in the Hosts!"

The swirly portal thingy opens and the hosts are all dumped in. They're all wearing drag (except Haruhi. who's merely wearing a dress.).

"Oh, you again," sighs Haruhi.

"We have come to help you on your glorious quest!" Tamaki says with roses spinning around him."

Shashuko cracks up. "Are you friends with Sailor Moon?"

Tamaki sits in a corner and turns chalky white.

"An-n-y-way! Our first question in from **-koNoha kUnoichi 12-** whose name annoys me because of spell check. And it's a long set of questions, too! I'll dissect it and write those arts in bold, so the character's answers/reactions will be right with the part they correspond to. Here we go!"

**GYAA! SO AWESOME XD!**

**Anou, Anou, this is just like the one they have in Naruto! "Ask the Yaoi Couples" by Neko Sakuya! I have many questions, Shashuko-san... I hope u don't mind..."**

Shashuko smirks. "Thank you. Actually, I got this idea from **'ask goku and vegeta'** by **Yuko the Saiyan** And I think I'll look up the Yaoi Couple thing in the near future... my friend made me a NaruSasu fan! My fault, I made her an otaku... and she told me about host club! THANK YOU KURO-CHAN!"

Haruhi sighs. "She can't hear you, you know."

**Well, first is for... Haruhi! Naa, Haruhi, how does it feel to be surrounded by guys? Especially hosts? And tell me, Haru-chan! Who's your favorite host? Tee-hee...**

"Well... I don't see what makes being surrounded by guys so special... I was surrounded by guys in middle school too... their being rich idiots is what makes them so annoying. I do think their being hosts in weird, since I don't like it when Tamaki grabs my chin, hugs me, or anything like that--" (the room gets colder, the cold coming from the corner that Tamaki has claimed) "-- and Hikaru and Kaoru's brotherly love thing is weird and I don't understand why everyone likes it so much--" (the twins shake their heads disapprovingly, and of course in perfect sync) "-- and Hunny-sempai is constantly on sugar high--" (hunny starts crying, but stops when he gets a hug from mori) "--Kyouya scares me--" (the demon lord's glasses are gleaming) "-- and Mori almost never talks." Haruhi takes a breath, because she said this all very fast.

"Favorite host? That'd be ME!"

"Tamaki-sempai, it is DEFINITELY not you. As for a favorite host, I'd probably have to Mori, because he never threatens, hugs or annoys me."

"Oooh, Tamaki. _Schooled_," taunts Shashuko as Tamaki returns to the corner.

**Second... for KYOYA!!**

**Kyoya-kun, what do you actually write on your billboard? I'm curious!! Tell me, please!! Oh, and do you actually like Tamaki? Why do you consider him as your bestfriend? I thought you think he's annoying. (no offense, Tama-chan!! XD)**

"I write notes on the Hosts and what the customers seem to like, which changes from week to week. I also put my cosplay ideas and summarize each meeting in here."

"Wow! Notes? I wish I could takes notes! I stink at taking notes!" whines Shashuko.

"Miss Shashuko, I have pictures of you dancing to whatever was on your Ipod and am capable of contacting you school's yearbook commitee."

Shashuko blushes. "It was DDR song! Of course I was hyper!"

Kyouya turns back to the question. "I think Tamaki is... interesting... and yes, but only by default (under breath: I have no other friends)... and yes, he's annoying. Bur his ideas, if abstract, can be good ones sometimes."

**And, MORI-SENPAI!!**

**Why is it your so silent? And why do you love Hunny-senpai so much? Is it just because it's your duty or you just do?**

"Umm... yes." Mori looks away.

Shashuko cackles. "Stage fright, Morinozuka? Hee hee!"

**HUNNY-SENPAI!!**

**gives cake Do you like it?? **

Hunny eats the cake. "WAAAAI! OISHII NAAA!" (translation: wow! very yummy!) "Yes, I like it!"

**My favorite hosts, HITACHIIN BROTHERS!!**

"We're honored!" say the twins in unison.

**Kaoru, why are you always uke?**

"Because I'm the younger brother," says Kaoru with tears in his eyes. "I must do whatever Oniichan says, even if I want to be the driving force."

"And so it's easier for the fans to tell which is which," says Haruhi under her breath.

**Hikaru, if Kaoru and you are seperated, what will you do?**

"Find each other!"

**Kaoru, if Hikaru gets a girlfriend, would you be jealous?**

**Hikaru, if Kaoru's in love with someone, what would you do?**

"I would be... but I'd try to be happy for him."

"I would snap him out of it!"

Shashuko giggles. "I think I found a breaking point here! Thank you, **-kNoha kUnoichi 12-** sama!"

**Guys, aren't you embarrassed acting as a yaoi couple infront of everyone? When you get home, do you guys feel a bit strange towards each other?? Just asking!**

"No, it's out job," says one twin.

"Hikaru. I think showing all these ladies... is... embarrassing..." (that's the real reason he's always the uke!!!)

"Once we get home and no one is watching, there's no reason to feel weird or embarrassed!" the twins speak at the same time. Shashuko gets a nosebleed. (that had gotta be the raciest thing I've ever typed! I am such a good mormon. Since it's not too bad, I should be proud.)

**Oh, and I think you both are the best of the best!!**

"Again, we're honored."

**Lastly, TAMAKI!**

**Tee-hee, Tama-chan, you're so kawaii, don't you know that?? **

**Tama-chan, if you get to pick Kaoru or Hikaru, who would you pick? If Haruhi says she hates you and never wants to see you again, what'll you do?**

"I'm the HOST CLUB KING! How could I be 'cute'? That's what Hunny-sempai is for!"

Hunny looks up from his delicious cake. "But, Tama-chan, you are kawaii sometimes."

"I suppose isn't a bad thing... sigh... And why would I pick one of those troublesome twins? I cannot even tell them apart!"

"Watch the series again!" chant Hikaru and Kaoru.

"Haruhi... you don't me do you? How could you hate daddy? Come give your father a hug...!"

"I don't hate you, but I think you're extremely obnoxious..."

"Anyway," says Tamaki, "If my daughter said she hated me and never wanted to see me again, I'd DISOWN her!"

Haruhi's eyes widen, then narrow. "Tamaki, I hate you."

Tamaki says quickly, "I take it back! Haruhi! Come back to daddy!"

**And to ALL THE HOSTS, I want your opinion on each other! haha!! That's gonna be cute! **

Haruhi sighs. "Tamaki's obnoxious, the twins are annoying, Kyouya is evil, Hunny-sempai is immature but cute, and Mori doesn't talk enough."

The twins smile. "Tono is a maniac, Kyouya's an evil lord, Mori is too quiet, Hunny eats a lot of sweets, and Haruhi is our TOY!!!" They hug said Haruhi and stick their tongues out at Tamaki, who is in his corner from the last question.

Kyouya smirks. "They are all very useful assets to the club. Tamaki needs to quell his need to be Haruhi's father, though. The customers are starting to wonder."

Hunny smiles huge. "Haru-chan, Tama-chan, Kyou-chan, Hika-chan, Kao-chan, and Takashi are all my very good friends! I love them all a lot!" He hugs Mori for emphasis.

Mori gazes out the window. "... Nice."

Tamaki stands up fro his corner in a flurry of rose petals. "Kyouya is my best friend and co-founder of this club, Haruhi is my beloved daughter, Hunny-sempai eats all of our cake, Mori is a good listener, and _those twins are very troublesome."_

"Tono! That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to us!!!" The twins lets go of their death grip on their 'toy' and hug Tamaki, shooting 'in your face' looks at Kyouya.

**Arigatou, Shashuko-san!!**

**Ur da best!**

"Thank you. I know."

"Shashuko-san, you're going to get a swelled head from this fanfiction," Haruhi points out.

"No need! I already HAVE ONE!!!" Shashuko does that thing where you stretch out your arms and summon rose petals. "Our next question is from **chibiharu-chan,** and it's much shorter. And very interesting!"

**ne ne I got a question for haru-chan xD: who do u like more hikaru-kun or kaoru-kun?3takes out a video camera to recordxD and tamaki if u starts whining I do sumthing worser to u than kyouya would do**

"Well, since Hikaru is more annoying on his own and Kaoru will be nicer, I'd have to say Kaoru. But why is everyone asking which host is my favorite? I do not get it. And worse then Kyouya? Remind me to never insult you in any way."

"Mom! Chibiharu-chan thinks she can be meaner than you!"

Kyouya's glasses gleam. "A challenge?" Kyouya started shuffling through his Ledger of Doom. "Let's see... Chibiharu-chan..."

**...oh and by the way pushes tamaki into kyouya and they kiss by accident cause I pushed them and takes a picture of it and sends the camera to my friendyeah my friend likes that pairing . ;; **

Shashuko, who is, as said before, as yaoi fangirl, squeals, "I want a copy of that picture!"

** oh yeah here hunny-sempai xDgives cake to hunny hope u like it my aunt made since she's a pastry chef xD**

Hunny munches happily. "Very good Chibiharu-chan's auntie! Do you have a business card?"

Shashuko giggles. "It's a wonder he never gets fat. Ah, for such metabolism... sigh... AH well. Next question! This one's from **reginastar**."

**Okay here are mine:**

**Kyoya- What on earth do you write on that clipboard? And, when are you taking over the world? **

"As said before, I write notes and minutes in the ledger," (he hold up the Ledger of Doom) "And, I will take over the world as soon as I graduate. Tamaki will be my court jester and I will pass a law that says Haruhi will never pay of her debt. She's just so useful to have around..."

Haruhi groans.

**Mori- Do you ever get mad at not having that many lines in the anime?**

"... Sometimes."

Hunny nods emphatically. "Takashi sued the directors! But it didn't work. because Hato-chan (aka Bisco Hatori) pointed out that Takashi's an anime character and therefore can't sue them! Takashi, we have no rights!" Hunny starts crying.

Shashuko gasps. "No rights? This is totally unfair! Just because they're not real to some of us doesn't mean they not real at all! Stupid segregating racist creeps!" she takes a deep breath and starts speaking in her usual hyper voice. "Our next question for today is from **Moonsky.** Here we go!"

**yay! um my question is for Tamaki! Why does Tamaki always refer to himself as Daddy?**

"I am Daddy because I am the head of our family here at the Host Club! And because I feel a need to protect my daughter Haruhi!!!"

**and why is Kyoya known as Mommy?**

" I suppose I'm Mommy because while Daddy is the head of the family, Mommy is the neck. And the neck can move the head any way she... or he... wants."

**oh and great story!**

Shashuko does tamaki's patent rose petal thingy. "Thank you! I can feel my head swelling bigger every minute! Now for not a question, but a comment from **KyokoHonda49!**

**Hey Hikaru and K**

"Hello! Ask a question next time, don't be shy!"

Shashuko twirls around hyperishly. "That's all the time we have for today. Thanks for reading! Good Day and Good Luck."


	3. Nekochan

Shashuko steps into the room, wearing a grungy t-shirt and jeans. She yawns.

"Best year at camp EVER! Time to answer people's questions!"

She goes to the pink Apple OSX and logs in.

"HOLY CRAP!!! NINE REVIEWS TO ANSWER! I better get to work!"

The blonde otaku snaps her fingers and she is wearing Minto Aizawa (from Tokyo Mew Mew)'s school uniform. Her hat hair undoes itself (I wish!) and puts itself into two neat buns.

"Oh! I just remembered. I'm all yellow now, not pink, green, and blue."

She snaps her finger and the room is all yellow and white.

Remember what I said about this not being a Sue Fic? Moving on.

She presses a button on the once pink remote and the swirly thingy opens and the Hosts are all pushed into the room.

"Aah! It's been a week. We were hoping you died," sigh Hitachiin and Hitachiin.

"Shut up Weasley rip-offs! I've got nine reviwes to answer, so let's get moving!" Shashuko gasps. "That was so mean of me! I am so, so sorry! Please forgive me!"

"We'll think about it."

"Aah!" Shashuko takes a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth, which she got from and Avatar, because that's a firebending trick and Quizilla says she's a firebender. The sad thing is that it actually works to calm her down.

"Okay! The first question is from **patback409.** Nice naming sense! You got that from Spongebob right? In the episode where Sandy was hibernating and-- sorry! I didn't mean to annoy you! So sorry! Gomennasai!"

**Question for Haruhi: Did you have any guy friends in middle school (other than Arai)? evil grin**

"Yes, why? They sometimes kept staring at me though... and for some reason, they never wanted to hang out if any of my other friends were coming. Why?"

Hikaru and Not Hikaru (ouch! Kaoru hit me!) grinned evilly. "Haruhi, you're soooo clueless."

Tamaki sobs and goes into a corner, still crying. "How many dates has my clueless daughter been on? How many young rascals have taken advantage of her?"

"Hey! That's my Trophy cabinet you're soaking! So what if it's empty? Shut up!" Shashuko yells.

"We never said anything," the twins point out. "Ad we still don't forgive you!"

"Jerks! And while you didn't say anything, I know you were going to!" Shashuko sticks out her tongue. "Eh heh... think happy thoughts... _The Spirit of God Like a FIre Is Burrrning... _I'm okay! The next review is a comment from **Evelyn Stone.** It reads:

**Great idea, Shashuko. I love this. SO KAWAII!!**

"Thank you!" Shashuko starts clapping. "Yay, me! And don't worry, judging by the rest of questions it'll get cuter!"

Kyouya sighs. "There's more yaoi questions, aren't there? I'm straight, you know."

Shashuko smiles. "Face the music, Kyoun-Kyoun. You and Tamaki are the most popular canon couple in the fanbase! ...(Shashuko stares at Tamaki, who is now sitting in the empty trophy cabinet in his stolen corner. It's my room, dangit!) ... The next question if from **Xx Tohru xXx Seraphina xX** and it's a long one!"

**Heya. l.. first off I love your story. I like the style of it; it makes this so much more life like. **

**My first question is for Shashuko; I know you're not a host but I'm just curious, who is your favourite host? **

Shashuko blushes. "It depends... I'd sit with Hunny because I know for a fact he wouldn't flirt with me. I don't need to pay to have people flirting with me! I'm not a loser!

The Hitachiins are hottest... But as for the actual personalities and such, Kyouya is my favorite-- pleasedon'tkillme!-- because he's so calm and evil and smart and manipulative...! And because of the Ledger of Doom! Whee!" Her smiles falters.

"Pleasedon'tkillme!"

Kyouya simply starts writing on ledger and does and Evil Lord face.

"The grin of the Shadow King! SQUEEE!"

Shashuko then realizes that the Host club is all staring at her. Her blush deepens (think Tamaki at the end of episode 1). There is an awkward silence.

"Eh heh... let's get to the rest of the question, ne? Okay then!

**My second question is for Tamaki; why do you insist on calling Haruhi your daughter? She's inst and you love her in a different way!! Get that through your head!!**

"Haruhi is my daughter because I feel a protective fatherly love for her, as I always have since she first walked in the doors of the host club. Love in a different way?... No that... can't... be right... I'm... her ... Daddy... right... Haruhi...?"

Haruhi's eyes are wiiiide open. "... Love...?" she turns to glare at Tamaki.

"You're not my brother, either."

Tamaki does not notice because he is busy contemplating, "In... another... way?"

**My third question is for Kyouya; why are you so mean to Haruhi? It makes it seem to me like you like her. That would be cute. You guys are my second favourite couple. The first being Mori and Haruhi.**

"I'm not mean to her, I treat her like I treat everybody else."

"In other words, you're mean to her," Shashuko points out.

"And I don't... _like... _ her. But her unexpected reactions are very _refreshing_ to the usual screams of _terror_." Kyouya smiles his cutest smile (meaning a fake one XD). "And no, it would not be cute. It would be... interesting. Imagine her reactions to _that... _hmmm... nah."

Mori blushes. "... No." but his tone is very unconvincing.

Shashuko giggles. "She blushed the first time he said her first name! And the caption was 'A Bit Happy!' And he's the only one who never annoys her!"

**My fourth and finally question is for both Haruhi and Mori; would you guys date each other? Because you guys would make the cutest couple ever!! **

"Haru-chan? Would you like to hang out sometime?"

"I guess... what for?"

"A date! Because Haru-chan is so cute!" (crap! I keep wanting to make him say 'na no da' but... he's not mew pudding! but they're both cute and blonde, ne?)

"A date? Then no."

Shashuko smiles fondly. "She said yes until he said it was a date... she didn't know he meant a date! And that, Tamaki, is why she had so many 'not dates' in Middle School."

Tamaki is still in the trophy-less trophy cabinet. He's locked the door and tears are leaking out through the crack between the door and the paneling.

**I hope my many questions aren't annoying Shashuko. I am just curious. I know curiosity killed the cat but I can't help it. It's been proven by my family that I'm just like my mother; nosy!**

**I can't wait until your next update! Xx Tohru x Seraphina xX**

"I can't wait for the next update either! The next reviewer is chibiharu-chan, who reviewed in the last chapter!"

**to Shashuko:here u go xD gives u a huge picture of tamaki and kyouya kissingoh and make sure to look up at the sky since I scheduled 50 blimps to fly around in the air with the picture of kyouya and tamaki kissing xD **

"Eeks!" Shashuko hugs Chibiharu-chan. "YOU ARE SO FREAKING AWESOME! I gotta show my friend Kuro-chan this!" She looks at the sky. "SO... MOEEE!"

"I thought you said I was your favorite character," Kyouya points out. "Wouldn't you therefore be more fond of KyouyaOC or KyouyaxHaruhi and not be able to bear the idea of me being gay?"

"You're at your hottest paired with Tamaki!"

Kyouya takes out his ledger and starts crossing things out in red pen.

**to kyouya: I already got blackmail on u xD and I have more stuff on u dummy shadow king! xD throws a water ballon at kyouya and makes a face at himnya xP**

Kyouya gets an anger mark. "You are very stubborn," he says, smiling evilly. "And I have your little brothers phone number. And your missing underwear..."

"Oooo! Her _underwear? _Someone has a cruh-ush, someone has a cruh-ush..." Shashuko sings in a whiny tone.

Kyouya takes out pictures of Shashuko watching Sailor Moon, worse yet in english.

"Oh, I don't care anymore! I WATCH SAILOR MOON! I EVEN _LIKE_ IT! AND KYOUYA HAS THE HOTS FOR CHIBIHARU-CHAN!!!"

Kyouya starts leafing through his binder, hiding his face, which is probably bright red.

**to haruhi:wat I meant was who do u "like like more" -.-;;**

"Like like? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Haruhi... so clueless... watch out, chibiharu-chan, Kyouya has a crush on you! Aah! Kyouya hit me!" Shashuko rubs the part of her head that came in contact with the Ledger of Doom. "An-n-y-way! The next question's from **Patty Simmons,** who is very nice and very smart!"

**Oh paisley maiden! You makes meh so HAPPEH! -grin-**

"Thank you! I feel good about myself now! Your kindness is like a candle!"

**Okay I gots a question for...NEKOZAWA! -audience gasps- Okay neko-chan, pick a host any host...to be your gay lover. Who would it be and why? Answer now or I will maime/shank/blow dry/burn your cloak. Okay? Okay! Okay. :)**

Shashuko gasps along with the audience. "Neko-chan? That is an awesome nickname! I am now using that! Dim the lights for Nekozawa the Great!" Someone, I don''t know who, dims the lights.

While Tamaki locks himself into the trophy cabinet, Shashuko open her famous Portal Thingy and Nekozawa flies out.

"Neko-chan! You have been called forth by the reviewers of my Q&A fan fiction to answer the question on the TV screen!"

"Neko... chan? I have never known someone to be so informal with me... how interesting..." Nekozawa chuckles evilly. Then he reads the question and Bereznoff faints. Or, at least, he falls off of Nekozawa's hand.

But Nekozawa does not react like this. He smiles his extremely hot and evil dark smile.

"I'm _straight. _But...Suoh-san, of course. I _love _how he quivers with fright whenever I enter the room." He picks up Bereznoff and leaves through the still open portal. Shashuko closes it before the still angry and (he won't admit it, chibiharu-chan, but) embarrassed Kyouya can leave, making him even madder.

**Kyouya and Hunny are also my blood buddies. AB BLOOD TYPES FOREVER! -un needed coments are the best. XP**

Hunny nods. "AB is best, ne?"

Kyouya smiles. He's already recovered from the chibiharu-chan incident (sorry chibiharu-chan, this is really the last time I'll mention that... this chapter). "Here's my card. Feel free to chose Ootori hospitals any time your are mortally wounded. I may give you a 0.0001 discount if I am in a good mood."

"Ah, Kyouya, always the opportunist. The next set of questions is from Blissful Doofus, who a really awesome nickname. Kakoi!"

**Ah! I have a question for Haruhi!**

**Haruhi-chan! Why, may I ask, are you so adorable?**

**And, please, I only want Haruhi to answer this! I don't want any side commentary! cough TAMAKI! cough**

"I'm adorable...? Looks don't matter. And I don't think I'm that cute."

Tamaki tries to answer for Haruhi, but he's forgotten that's he;s locked in the trophy cabinet.

**Ah! Speaking of coughing, I also have a question for Tamaki!**

**Tamaki-chan! How in the world did you not know that you're cute? That's just silly, you silly-silly!**

"I am not cute! I am a _bishounen!!!"_

"A _kawaii _bishounen," taunts Shashuko. "The next review's from **Essalone Marina**!"

**Squee! Another Mormon-buddy Ouran fan! Happiness**

**Srry, not a question! Hehe **

"Yes I know, doesn't it rock? Now there's three known mormons on to me: you, me, and Mormon Maiden, who writes Avatar fanfiction and gave a name to the Cabbage Merchant! Read her stuff if you like Avatar! It's by a mormon, it's not nasty! Next is from MiekoMiyazaki." Shashuko gives Essalone a big hug.

**Ah... I have a few questions. Maybe a lot.**

**Firstly, Haruhi... If someone ate Tamaki's head, what would you do? Personally, I'd think you'd celebrate, i.e NO HEAD means NO OBNOXIOUSITY.**

"Um... I think he's obnoxious, but I think that's a bit extreme. Even the most aggravating of idiots deserves to live. But you do have a point... no head, no obnoxiousity... hmmmm..."

"Haruhi.. how could you say such a mean thing about your father? How could you?"

"Hmm... no obnoxiousity..."

Secondly, if Hani ate too many cakes and turned into a bowling ball and rolled away, what would you guys do?

"Chase him," says Mori with finality.

"Takashi, you're such a good friend!" Hunny hugs Takashi.

For Mori, what is your opinion on MoriXHaruhi being one of the least popular pairings? And just so you know, you're the only character who's sane. Though you don't have a fanlisting yet (sighs). I worship you, of course.

"... Stupid."

"Awwwww," says Shashuko, who is covering Haruhi's ears so she doesn't hear the answer.

**Kyouya, you can easily find something less... irritating to participate in during your free time, and most likely earn much more money, so why haven't you quit the host club yet? Oh, oh, can you do an impersonation of Teru Mikami from Death Note which your seiyuu also voiced? (squeals) And ask Tamaki to do Light Yagami from DN too! Kya!**

"I haven't quit the Host Club because I find information I learn watching the customers valuable for when I go to Otakons disguised as Teru Mikami from Death Note, which Shashuko has not seen. Also, I find that fangirls have an unlimited amount of energy. If can harness this when I rule the world, it will be most profitable."

**The twins... you're tied with Mori for my fave character(s). Anywaysh, if one of you died/got your head squished into a pulp, what would the other do:D Not a CURSE, NOT A CURSE!**

"If anything happened to Kaoru, I don't know what I'd do! I would probably kill myself to join him."

"Hikaru, we're at the Q&A fic, not the Host Club. Answer truthfully," Haruhi says flatly.

"It's true! Except for maybe the 'kill myself' part. Kaoru?"

"If Hikaru died... I don't know! I don't want to think about it."

**And a question for Shashuko - HOW DIDJA MANAGE TO DEPICT THEIR PERSONALITIES SO WELL? ARGH!**

Shashuko smiles. "I watched the entire anime series on Youtube over Christmas vacation with nothing else to do. I guess I paid a lot of attention. Also, I pay better attention to In-Character fics because I find them more captivating. I suppose the rest is just luck."

"Wow, Shaa-chan! That's a lot of big words!" says Hunny.

"I HAVE A HUNNY NICKNAME! YATTA!" Shashuko yells jubilantly, punching the air with her fist. "AND IT SOUNDS A LOT LIKE _SHII_-CHAN!"

**For the Host Club members... please get a pin to puncture the abovesaid person's head if she ever goes overboard. Heehee.**

"We will. And maybe we will even if she doesn't, " the twins say, holding a pin in the air.

"What do you mean by go overboard?" Shashuko asks blonde-ly. Give her a break, it's her natural color.

(hugs everyone excluding Shashuko and Haruhi)

"Hey! Why don't I get a hug? Mieko is a meanie!" Shashuko takes her now infamous Firebender Breath and smiles calmly. "Sorry 'bout that! The next and last review's from **Primeval Eidolon Scar**, which is a suspiciously male-sounding pen name? You're guy aren't you? Sorry for assuming if you're not!"

**Hm, dunno if I can do this but, question for Nekozawa-sempai:**

**What do you think of the Host Club's little family thing? Do you think it's weird? Fun? And how is your relationship with Kirimi currently doing?**

Shashuko chuckles. "Two in one chapter! Maybe I should just bring him in all the time... review with your opinions, please!" She takes out the now yellow remote and open the Portal Thingy. Nekozawa falls out.

"Neko-chan!" Shashuko hugs him. "We have another question for you!"

"I will answer if you let go of me."

"Ack! Sorry, I didn't notice!" Shashuko lets go hastily (what? I have a bad boy complex!).

Nekozawa reads the question, and Bereznoff does not, indeed, fall off this time. In fact, if anything, it perks up a bit.

"I find the 'family thing' most... amusing. Though it is more than a little weird. And Kirimi and I have quality time on a regular basis. I read her fairy tales every night before bed." he smiles a warm smile, which the authoress has never seen in real life but figures must be very cute.

"Kakoi!" Shashuko hugs Nekozawa again, then realized what she's doing, blushes, and lets go. Nekozawa leaves through the portal, followed by the Host Club, because that's all the reviews answered.

Once everyone leaves, Shashuko smiles at the hidden cameras. "Well, that was fun, don'tcha think? Next time, I'll bring back Nekozawa if you want me to. Also, I'm considering writing a ficcy where I go to Ouran High! What'cha think? Would you read it? Probably not... Also, I have hidden seven Fruits Basket references in this chapter! Answer one or most of them to get a cookie, answer them all and get cake!"

"That's all the time we have today,

Sayounara! Bai bai! Ja ne!"


	4. Renge

Shashuko is sitting in her yellow chair, wearing Tohru Honda's school uniform. She squeals, "Here are where the Furuba references were!"

1) The phrase (ouch! kaoru hit me!) is taken from Momiji's often repeated line "Ouch! Kyo hit me!"

2) "Aah! Kyouya hit me!" from same Momiji line.

3) "Your kindness is like a candle!" is one of Tohru's lines.

4) My reference to the fact the Shaa-chan sounds like Shii-chan, which is of course Shigure Sohma's nickname. I'm not proud it 'cause he's a pervert, but because he's so hilarious with his overdramatic-ness!

5) I didn't think of this, but it was in a review-- my constant apologies are very much like Ritchan-san! But that was because I really am like that sometimes.

6) I don't remember orcan't find the rest... sorry!

Shashuko opens the swirling Portal Thingy, which is now also yellow instead of green, because Shashuko is yellow now, as mentioned in the last chapter. The Host Club all tumble out. Nekozawa is not with them, because only one person wants to ask a question to him. Sorry!

"Aah, already? You did a chapter yesterday!" the twins whine.

"We have ten reviews to answer today, so shut up and get moving! Sorry, that was mean of me. Anyway, today's first review is from **Chibiharu-chan**, whose name is now 'learned' instead of 'ignored' on Spell Check like most names are!"

**to kyouya:-was randomly singing a song from 'the horrors'-...huh?..I don't have a little brother so ur information is false kyo-teme! xP**

**and eww u perv!Dx-starts throwing my textbooks at kyouya and when I ran out of textbook without noticing I started hitting ur head with my violin-...no my violin !;-;u own me a new one now kyo-teme!! **

"Who are the horrors?" asks Shashuko.

"I know you don't have a little brother. I was just testing you. And I am not a pervert."

"Yes you are! You assaulted Haruhi in that one episode!" Shashuko says, but she's looking pointedly at Tamaki.

"MOM! HOW COULD YOU!" Tamaki tries to lock himself in Shashuko empty trophy cabinet, but she's already locked as a precaution. Instead, Tamaki sits in another corner, which is occupied by a yellow easy chair, and begins to cry.

Kyouya sighs. "Shashuko, that was only to prove a point so Haruhi would understand something. And also, I have Chibiharu-chan's underwear for blackmail and blackmail only."

"That's funny, your tone isn't very convincing!" Shashuko proceeds to laugh in a very Renge-ish manner.

**and now I got a question for Renge!!xD ne renge would u force the host club into a cosplay of ur choice?3 and if u can force them can u make do emo please? cause I read a fanfic before wit a very emotionally depressed kaoru in it and I have no idea y but I got into fangirl mode xD I was screaming 'MOE!' alot cause of it . **

"Renge? That's a new one!" Shashuko laughs. She opens the Portal Thingy and Renge falls out.

_"Shashuko-san! _I am a member of the Host Club too! I should have been here from the very beginning. Her hair does the Medusa Thing.

"I forgot about you. You aren't a very central character," the Paisley Maiden taunts. "Sorry! That was very mean of me. Please answer the question on the TV screen."

Renge smiles. "A question for me? I could eat three bowls of rice!" She reads the question. "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! I have many, many ideas for the Host Club to cosplay as!"

"Some of them are actually very plausible," Kyouya says.

"Hmmm... emo? It's a very very good idea! But I should make them dress as Mew mew characters first."

"Tamaki as Kisshu, Haruhi as Masaya, Hunny as Taruto, Mori as Pai, Hikaru and Kaoru as Ryou and Keichiiro, and Kyouya as... um... Ichigo's mom?"

"EXACTLY! But maybe I'd dress Haruhi as Ichigo as Kyouya as Masaya, because Haruhi looks so cute in drag!"

"Good idea!" says Tamaki.

**(to shaashuko-chan:ohh kewl u're writing a fanfic xD yay!xD um can I be in one chaptermaybe please?-using kawaii chibi eyes-)**

"It's plausible... what should I call you? And give me character description, please... arigatou! Ha ha... Kyouya shall be your stalker, like in real life."

"I am NOT a stalker."

"Riiight. The next review''s from Why is th RUM always gone."

**Hola!I have to say Shashuko-san you are a very talented writer!!. Anyone who says otherwise is gonna deal with me whips out Uo-chan's bloody pipe Question one is for Kyouya the Demon Lord: Back off buddy cause i'm gonna rule the world! I already have and army of followers! But you're still awsome!!**

"Yes, but _I_ have the Ootori secret police and a large following of fangirls."

"Shashuko? Talented? Don't make us laugh," say the twins.

"I got a compliment! Hooray!"

**KAWAII!! Next one for Mori! yay you're one of my favs!! So if you had to pick would you protect Hunny-chan or marry 10 really really hot girls??**

"Mistukuni..."

"Yes Takashi?"

"You're not ten really hot girls."

"WAAAAAHHH!!"

"I take it back."

**Next the infamous Hitachiin twins evil smile So Haruhi is you're toy, right?? And you like to torment her, right?? Why is that so??Hikau why'd you call her a raccoon?? I mean she's uber cool so lay off or else waves Uo-chan's blood pipeOh and you two are my favs, but personally I favor Kaoru!! **

"Yes, Haruhi is our toy. We like tormenting her because she's a likable when she's tormented. And more likely to knock Tono off his high horse."

"I called her a raccoon because her eyes are so large and dark. She kinda looks like one."

"I don't know either! In the anime, he called her a 'short fox'... hee hee. Probably something lost in translation there," Shashuko notes.

**Tamaki-sama you are dirty and disgusting. The way you think of your "daughter" in such a manner i should call the cops!! wait the cops blocked my number :( **

"Disgusting... it's not disgusting!" Tamaki is crying.

"Whatever did the cops block your number for? Tormenting them about how wrong anime characters are?" taunt the twins. "Like Orochimaru?"

Shashuko shivers. "Child molester."

**Neko-chan! Neko-chan i also am familiar with black magic i look like the Hanajima How long have you been practicing black magic. Can you send poison waves like Hana-chan or curse people like Megumi-san?? I can send poison waves! You're hot!I love bad boys!**

Shashuko stops shivering and opens the portal, causing Nekozawa to fall out.

"NEKO-CHAN!" She hugs him.

"I will not answer the question unless you let go," he says awkwardly.

"Sorry. Did I just hug you again? My inner otaku really is taking hold," says Shashuko, prying herself off of Nekozawa.

Nekozawa sighs. "I cannot send waves, but I am capable of cursing people. What's your number? We don't have a wave sender as of yet... and... hot? That's not a compliment I get often."

"BAD BOYS FOREVER!" shouts Shashuko, waving a Prince Zuko plushie around. "Wait? I have a Zuko plushie? YAAAAY!" She hugs the scarred doll, which shoots fire from its hand if you press its tummy.

Hunny-chan where did you buy USA-chan cause i want one, please pouts and puppy eyes

"Usa-chan was made by my late Grandmother, ne? You can buy Usa-chan keychains at the Host Club online store," says Hunny, reading from a Cue Card supplied by Kyouya.

**Shaa-chan as to the Fruits Basket reference when Hunny-chan called you "Shaa-chan" you said it sounded like "Sii-chan".You actually sounded happy to be refered to the perveted Shigure, but am a year of the dog so i don't mind.Can i have my cookie now?? That's all for now but i'll be back! "I like yoai... So delious"**

"I'm happy to be referred to Shigure, but not because he's a pervert. It's because he's so carefree (and an ayame fan! when oh when will he come out of the closet?) and because he annoys everyone so fabulously! And I like Yaoi too!"

"We are painfully aware of that," says Kyouya ripping the picture of himself and Tamaki kissing that Chibiharu-chan gave Shashuko into tiny pieces.

Shashuko glares, but then smiles evilly.

"Don't tell me you like Chibiharu-chan so much that you hate a good yaoi?" Shashuko taunts. "Not that I care. I have several copies stashed away in hardware and in my room. The next review is from Xx Tohru xXx Seraphina xX, who writes:"

**I loved this chapter. It's great. Thanks for answering my questions. I hope you bring Neko-chan back soon. I would so read a fic where you went to Ouran. I got a few of the Fruits Basket references; Shhi-chan is Shigure. The bit where you were apologising a lot was a Ritsu reference. Those were the only two I got. Please tell me what the other ones were! I love Fruits Basket! Xx Tohru x Seraphina xX**

"Thank you for loving my chapter! I hope you like this one too! I did bring Neko-chan. He's over there, annoying Tamaki."

Tamaki is cornered by Nekozawa and soaking the entire corner, wall, floor, and the easy chair he's sitting in with sweat and tears of fright.

Shashuko laughs devilishly. "And the constant apologizing was one I myself didn't spot or do on purpose, because I'm really like that sometimes! I guess I'm just Ritsu-ish in that respect. The rest are on the top of this page in beginning of the chapter, as you doubtlessly have already noticed. Next from Camierdan!"

**-raises hand- I have a question. D (oh, and you can call me "Cammy")**

**...Uh, make that a lot of questions XD**

**Okay, the first (and second) one's for the lovely (and HOT) twins:**

**If you two were normal brothers, would all this yaoi goody- ness even happen? D**

"Hikaru! The idea..."

"Of a year or two's difference changing our relationship is preposterous. I know Kaoru, I know." Hikaru hugs his brother.

**And... how would you two feel for some fanart? D**

"Fanart is good," say the twins.

"Especially those chibi kitten ones," says Hikaru. "Kaoru looks so cute with those little ears... or is that me? Dangit, with fanart even we can't tell us apart!"

"Hikaru... that one is me," says Kaoru, pointing at the computer screen they're looking at.

"So that's where my mom's computer went!" Shashuko growls. "Gimme that!"

They turn the computer to show a picture of two chibi, kitty-eared twins sitting in a meadow.

"SO... KAWAII!!!"

"So, the Evil Otaku has a weakness after all," the twins say in unison.

Kyouya starts scribbling furiously in his Ledger of Doom.

**Okay, Kyouya time: Can I call you "Kiki- senpai" if I were to... say, give you 20 million yen? 8D 'Cause I really, really want to. D**

"It depends... cash or check?"

**It's Tamaki hour 8D: How would this all change if Haruhi was a boy through and through? o**

Shashuko cracks up. "Tamaki... hour... HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

Tamaki glows with the bright light of stupidity, which sends Nekozawa, who had been tormenting him this whole time, whirling back.

"Haruhi, instead of being my beloved daughter, would be my beloved son!"

Shashuko slaps him. "YOU HURT NEKO-CHAN!"

"Actually, I'm fine," Nekozawa grumbles.

"Oh. AND ONLY GOD CAN SAY BELOVED SON!"

"I must be god then," Tamaki says, his eyes shining with delight.

**To Hunny and Mori: Does Mori like cake, too? Or is he on a strict diet? P And what do you think of chocolate and strawberries on a cake, Hunny? D**

"I... like cake..."

"Chocolate and strawberries is yummy!"

**And finally, Haruhi: If you had... say, a million US dollars, what would be the first thing you'll do? D**

"Pay off my debt and get away from this club."

"But at the end of the anime you said you liked this club!" whines Tamaki. "An Kyouya says your debt's paid off!

"I thought she'd leave, thus taking a drop in Host Club profits, so I added expenses for the Eclair incident, such as Hikaru's hospital bill for that broken arm of his."

Okay, thanks for allowing me to ask these questions, Shashuko- senpai. D

"You are very welcome! but I would enjoy this more if you people did review so fast so I could watch Naruto ore often. I've only seen the first 6 episodes, people! ... The next review's from **OuranSugerRush**."

**SQUEE!! i love this it's so awsome and funny to read! SHASHUKO U ROCK! lol-**

"Compliments, as always, are appreciated."

**i have a question for Kaoru-kun. if u could choose any of the host club members(not Haruhi, because i'm totally yaio obssesed) gigglez to go on a date with who would u choose? oh yeah u cant choose Hikaru-kun. evil laughter even though i would like it if u 2 went out... oh well u cant choose him. P.S- we have the same name lolz sque!!**

"Not Hikaru... or Haruhi?" Kaoru sniffs. Then he gets an evil expression. "Tono. He's really fun to annoy."

"See Haruhi? Kaoru is not calm or nice. Therefore, your reason for telling us apart is null and void."

"I said _relatively,_ Hikaru, _relatively_," Haruhi says colder. "Nicer and calmer than _you_."

"You have the same name as me? What a coincidence," Kaoru says blankly, looking at his brother argue with Haruhi, which makes him jealous. (of who...? that's your decision. I'd say both! Oo love triangle- ow kaoru hit me!)

Shashuko stares at the scene with relish, because she's making her friend who has TEVO record this, and she can watch it more than once of her friend lets her. Then she realizes that that's the end of this review.

"Oh! ... Anno ... next from **Patty Simmons**!"

**YAY! XD you used my nickname for Neko-chan! -dances around in feild of happiness and colorful flowers and such- and someone called me smart for once! (I'm probably the blondest brunette you'd ever meet... no joke.) **

"How could I not? It's a perfect nickname for him!" Shashuko pulls Nekozawa, who has been lurking in the corner, into the range of one of the cameras. "Just look at him! Kawaii!" Bereznoff sweatdrops.

'I called you smart because you thought of this awesome name. Thank you!"

**Again Shashuko, your the best!**

"If my head swells any more, I'll get a headache..." Shashuko sighs. "I hate headaches! But thank you! As always, the compliment makes me feel better about myself! When people put these, I get to put them in the fic and brag about 'em! Go complimenters!"

**XD Oh yes and one more thing...**

**Everyone in the Host Club is damn sexy if I do say so myself, even Hunny when he gets all bad . **

"How dare you refer to my daughter in such a manner! And yes, I am, I already knew that, but thank you anyway!" Tamaki gets surrounded by rose petals.

"Takashi, am I really sexy?"

"... um..."

"Did you hear that Kaoru? We're sexy!"

"Hikaru... I don't know about me..." Kaoru goes into a Major Uke pose.

Shashuko sighs, "You may have a different personality, Kaoru, but you have the same face and hairstyle as Hikaru, so you, too. Also, she said you're ALL sexy. Even you. Considering, maybe even especially you."

**...and Haruhi is very pretty, and Neko-chan is also very pretty. and Renge scares me.**

"She should. She's a scary person."

Shashuko starts laughing. "It's true... and the way you wrote it.. the way I say it in my head... HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAA!"

Nekozawa looks at his reflection in the (yellow-rimmed) mirror.

"Pretty...?"

"HAI, Neko-chan, pretty! You are both a Bad Boy and a Pretty Boy! Congratulations! _Neko-chan wa bishounen desu! Motto Bishounen desu_!" (translation: Neko-chan is a pretty boy! Really a pretty boy! _or something along those lines._)

**DON'T HURT ME RENGE! -hides behind Hunny- **

**WAH! DON'T LET HER KILL ME BLOOD BUDDY!**

"Ne, ne, Pat-chan, Renge was sent back. you're safe."

"I'd like to point out that Pat-chan here put a few lines between her questions in the review. I appreciate this, since I copy and paste these questions. SO If you people who put their questions into one humungo paragraph could refrain from doing so, it'd be much appreciated. Okay! The next set of questions is from **ColorsOver**!"

**Hi I love this story! Can I ask a question?**

"Umm... yes? Sorry. You were probably just being polite. by asking. My bad!"

**Tamaki- What was it like growing up in France? Have you ever used this as an advantage for wooing the ladies? (i.e. French is supposed to be the most ROMANTIC language. lol.)**

"Yes. it would be ungentlemanly for me not to!"

**and**

**Why do you not like being called kawaii? I think you are very handsome by the way. Tee hee.**

"I don't like it because I am a _bishounen_!" flowers dance around Tamaki. " And you think I'm handsome? Thank you!"

"This reminds me from '_Ask Goku and Vegeta,'_ my inspiration," noted Shashuko. "Everyone called Vegeta cute. He hated it!" She giggles.

"And you made him borrow my Bun-bun, ne?"

"He tried to blow it up," Mori says darkly.

"But no one can blow up Bun-bun!"

"No seriously, it's true. I was reviewing anonymously as Shashuko because my mom stole my account as a punishment! But I have it back now, so no hard feelings."

**and**

**Can you sing as well as you play the piano?**

"Tono can't sing!"

"Yes I can yes I can yes I can!" Tamaki sings.

Shashuko starts singing too. "Anything you can sing, I can sing higher."

"I can sing anything higher than you!"

"Wait! I'm singing the part that loses! Never mind!"

**Mori- Will you ever separate from Hani?**

"... No."

**Hani- I love you so much you're so kawaii! Can we be friends?!?! **

"Okay Col-chan!"

Shashuko- not a question but I love this so much it's so awesome! You're SO awesome. Tee hee. I have favorited this story and alterted it. Update soon.. Ne?

"Me, awesome? Thanks! Like I said, I'm gonna write I fic where I go to Ouran.. after I finish this chapter, which, due to complications, has so far taken three day to write!... Next from **MiekoMiyazaki**!"

**HEY! I'm NOT mean! Can I jump through the portal?**

"I said you were mean because you told them to prick my head with a pin- HEY! WAIT!"

**(jumps through portal)**

"MiekoMiyazaki! this is against the code of Q&A!" Tamaki calls.

**"Wahahaha! I'm officially IN the story!" Mieko screams, wearing a Mori T-Shirt and a Mori cap, carrying a Mori bag with a Mori doll sticking out of it which is waving two Mori flags around. She has two bands on her wrists, both strung with Mori keychains and has a lot of Mori trinkets strung together for earrings. "By the way, if you think this is stupid, you can just put in the questions and skip all the above (and below) rubbish (dialogue), including this sentence!"**

"It's rubbish, but it's funny. Look, you made Tono cry," the twins say in singsong.

Shashuko stares at all the Mori stuff. "Mori doll! Mori doll! Where'd you get these? Do they sell neko-chan stuff? I WANT A NEKO-CHAN DOLL!!!" she sobs.

"Look, Takashi, a You doll!"

**"My first question!" Mieko wheels around to face Hani. She shows him a large, delicious looking cake and immediately whips it away. "If you want this cake... you must first tell me what Mori's deepest, darkest secret is, or else I'll superimpose Kyouya's head on a ballet dancer's body, then post the picture on the internet for others to enjoy! NYAH!"**

Shashuko laughs. "KYOUYA IN A DRESS! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

Hunny stares at Mori intently. "Takashi... can I...?"

"... Un." (japanese for 'yeah.')

"Takashi watches Pokemon."

The entire Host Club, and Nekozawa, freeze.

Shashuko is NOT frozen.

"Ohmigosh you like it too? Don't you just HATE May? You can't replace Misty, people! And that new girl, Dawn... she's much better than May at least, don't cha think? But she's still not as cool as Misty. Pichu is SOOO CUTE!"

Mori stares, sweatdrops, then nods slowly.

**"My second and final question! NYAA!" Mieko turns and faces the Host Club. "Choose someone, ANYONE (except Shashuko) in the room to switch bodies with you, and NO KAORU, you can't switch with Hikaru, cos' there wouldn't be much of a difference. Oh, and reasons, please!" She sticks her tongue out at the Hitachiin twins.**

The Hitachiin twins stick their tongues out at MiekoMiyazaki.

"I wouldn't want to switch with any of these people..." Haruhi says darkly. "But if I had to? Nekozawa. People tend to leave him alone." She says this glaring at the twins and Tamaki.

"We'd both wan to switch with Hunny-sempai. It'd be much easier to pull pranks as someone short and cute," say the Twin Devils, not paying any attention to Haruhi's glaring.

Tamaki does his rose-petal-swirly-dance. "I'd switch with Haruhi! Then, I would dress myself in beautiful clothes with frills and bows and--"

"Short skirts?" venture the twins.

"Of course!" Tamaki says dramatically.

"See, Haruhi? He's just a pervert!"

"Pervert... I see..." Haruhi shoots an evil look at Tamaki. Who goes into his corner, curls into the fetal position, and turns white.

"I'd switch with Takashi and be tall!"

"Kyouya... erase info against Mitsukuni..."

"I'd enjoy switching with Tamaki," said Kyouya thoughtfully.

"Why, though?" Shashuko asks evilly. "Reason, please!"

"Oh, no reason," he says, staring into space.

"How about you Neko-chan?"

"She didn't ask me. I'm not one of the Host Club."

"Pleeeaase?"

"No."

"I'll hug you if you don't."

"Fine then." Nekozawa pauses to think. "... Kyouya. he gets to watch from a distance."

"Cool! As for me, I'd switch with Haruhi because she's a girl! I'd never want to be a guy." Shashuko shudders. "That would be wrong..."

**"Okay, that's all, SEE YA!" Mieko gives Mori a ginormus hug, then jumps into the portal, squealing.**

Mori stares after her, with a look that says, "What's her PROBLEM?"

Shashuko giggles. "She's an interesting person. By the way, people, jumping in is okay, but please don't make those reviews too long! Thank you! Next, we'll hear from mimsiechan."

**Whoo. has questions But first--**

**HI EVERYONE! insert fangirlism here w **

Everyone stares at the screen blankly (FYI, the questions are posted on a TV screen).

"Okaaay..." says Haruhi.

**Shashuko, I'm going to add to that inflated head of yours and say that this is a very awesome fic. :3 **

**I get ideas from it. LOTS AND LOTS OF IDEAS. D**

"Thank you. Do you e these ideas in your fanfiction? Tell me! I wanna read 'em!"

"Of course it's awesome! I the_ Host Club King_, am featured greatly!" Tamaki practically sings.

**Ok. I got questions:**

**First one...for everyone!**

**How do you all deal with all your fangirls? I just have to ask.**

"We act gay, then people give us space," say the Masters of Monotone. (I love thinking of ways to refer to those two -)

"I say something that shows I'm not comfortable with their actions. By the way, this doesn't always work on boys," says Haruhi, glaring at Hikaru and Kaoru.

"Fangirlism is the highest form of flattery! I wouldn't 'deal with' them in my wildest dreams!" dramatizes Tamaki.

"What fangirls? I just sit in the back of the room," notes Kyouya.

"RUN!" says Hunny hyperishly.

"Follow Mitsukuni."

"When the Black Magic Club must deal with fangirls, we soak incense sticks in oil and light them on fire."

"I don't HAVE fangirls!" Shashuko says loudly to annoy everyone else, and, indeed, everyone except Hunny and Tamaki, who are never annoyed anyway, glares at her.

**Question 2, for Haruhi:**

**Do you ever, ever want to be more feminine? Or has Tamaki and his schemes gotten to you?**

"If I wanted to be feminine, I wouldn't have worn that sweater in episode 1 in the first place, would I? I don't really care one way or another."

**Question 3, for Huni:**

**Do you like cookies as well as cake? Mimi here would like to have cake and cookies with you someday!**

"I like all sweat things! And okay!"

**Love love and hearts to ALL of you hosts.**

"What about Neko-chan? He needs love too!" says Shashuko, hugging Nekozawa.

"I have enough of that, thank you," says Nekozawa coldly. "Please release me."

"Neko-chan is a meanie!!!" whines Shashuko. She sniffs, then suddenly brightens up.

'_Wow,' _thinks Haruhi, '_she's like Tamaki... happy all the time. How annoying...'_

Shashuko grins and gives the peace sign. "Next review's from **PangstaAlexXo, **and it's the last one! I can start writing my other ficcy soon!"

**Okay! First is for Haruhi. How does your hair stay short throughout the anime/manga? Does Kyouya make you cut it? Do the twins do it? Or do you think that it's just a waste of time to have long hair?**

"Kyouya makes me cut it. I don't really care one way or another, though..."

**Next is for Kaoru and Hikaru (yeah i said kaoru first 'cause i like him better). Who is more comfortable with Haruhi? Oh and Kaoru would look mch better with her. No offence. (Kaoru 3rd and Hikaru 5th)**

"Hikaru is more comfortable with Haruhi, probably," Kaoru notes, not sounding too pleased about this.

"What makes you say that?" Hikaru asks.

"Oh, no reason," the younger brother replies.

"What do you mean by better with...?" asks Haruhi.

**Now it's time for Mori's question! In most of the episodes/mangas you don't eat or drink. You just watch Hunny do that. Are you okay? Not to be offensive 'cause i really think you're awesome. (favorite character 'cause most mature)**

"... I'm fine."

"Takashi has a low metabolism, ne? He doesn't really need to eat as much as I do. I have a high metabolism, so I eat a lot."

**Hunny, YOUR TURN!! Did you ever just want to turn into your dark side when you were in the club? and I so0o want you as a brother! Have you thought of Haruhi as a sister? (4th favorite)**

"No, I don't like being my dark side... it's mean. Haru-chan as a sister? No, but she is one of my very good friends!"

**Okay Kyouya, there is one for you. Why are you in the host club? I know about that whole part about being friends with the Souh heir but is there another reason snicker like Haruhi? and How would Haruhi know when her debt is paid? She could be done with it and you can just be using her you know. (2nd favorite character)**

"The debt got paid off at the end of the anime. Don't you pat attention?"

"What? You never told me," Haruhi growls.

**YAY FINALLY THIS IS FOR TAMAKI! ... I really really really don't like you. There is definately NO reason for you to be clinging onto Haruhi. Her and I and probably other people think it's annoying. If I was an interesting writer I would make a whole fanfic showing how stupid you really are and you're not cute, handsome, pretty, or cool! SO STOP YOU DUMB BLONDE!(obvious that you're 6th)**

"WHAT?!?" Tamaki curls into the fetal position where he stands and starts sucking his thumb while rocking. (think of the Crimson Chin in that one episode of Fairly Odd Parents where he fins out he;s a comic character.)

"_Schooled_," chuckles Shashuko. "And what do you mean if you were a creative writer? Low Self-Esteem isn't a healthy thing to have! If you can write good questions, you can probably write good answers!"

"Okay, that's the last questions," yawn the twins. "Can we go know?"

"Okay! Toodles! See ya later!" Shashuko shoves them all through the portal. She waves after them, then closes the portal. Then, she sits down in one of the yellow couches and smiles at the camera.

"In the next chapter, I'll be putting Beatles references!" she giggles madly. "Beatles! Love those guys! ... Well then! Gotta go now! Remember, God made you special, and he loves you very much!"

The TV screen shows the Big Idea Studios logo. Shashuko picks up the remote and starts watching Larryboy! And the Rumour Weed.


	5. Googookachoo

Shashuko is sitting in the yellow easy chair Tamaki soaked with tears in the last chapter. Don't worry, she got it dry-cleaned (she disguised it as an overcoat and took it to the laundromat).

She's wearing a yellow shirt says, 'Nothing is Real.' She's also wearing jeans and the fuzzy yellow flip-flops that do not match her shirt..

She giggles. "Today, I will hide several Beatles references in the chapter! However, since some of them are kind of obvious, you must tell me the name of the song they are from! Also, those who name them all get an entire cake, since there are so many beatles songs!"

"On the second Order of Business, the first chapter of the fanfiction where I go to Ouran, which is not very long and doesn't have much of me in it sighh... is up! The fic is called 'Ouran High and the American Otaku.' Yay! Go me!"

Shashuko takes out her yellow remote and opens the portal. The Host Club, which shouldn't surprise you at this point, falls out. Wait-- Renge's with them!

"Renge! I thought you were mad at me for not inviting you before!"

"I forgive you." Renge sniffs. "Most people forget me too."

"Where's Neko-chan?" Hunny asks. "I thought he was always gonna come."

"No! Hunny-sempai, he'll curse you!" Tamaki whimpers.

"I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints..." Shashuko sings. "God will protect me." she rolls her eyes and opens the portal again. Nekozawa falls out with a loud 'whump' noise.

"Neko-chan!" Shashuko hugs said cloak-wearing cat obsessor. She presses a button on the remote to show the first review. "Okay, first we'll hear from **patback409**!"

**To hosts:**

**1: Y'know, if Haruhi was a boy... then this would be a yaoi anime XD coughTamakicough**

"YAOI? NOOOOO!" Tamaki runs to the only empty corner in the room. When he steps on the floor tile, though, a bucket of water gets poured on him.

The twins hold up a sign that says 'SUCCESS!'

"Thanks for letting us come early," offer the twins.

"Anytime," Shashuko says, "What's next?"

"We're thinking of screwing him into the ground."

"And filling him in with al the sins he'll see?" Shashuko asks, wide-eyed.

"Something like that."

**2: What would you guys do if Hunny was the one who ended up with Haruhi?**

"Evict him from the Host Club!" says Tamaki. "Haruhi belongs to all of us!"

"I belong to no one," Haruhi replies. "And...? If I liked Hunny in that way, and I ended up with him, I suppose I'd just... be happy. And maybe cook something special for dinner so my dad wouldn't blow up when he found out."

"You'll cook me dinner?"

"Not you! My biological father."

"Ne, ne, if I was Haru-chan's boyfriend, I'd take her to get ootoro! And then the amusement park."

"Congratulate him," is all Mori says, but his eyes are filled with pain in them for the idea (hee hee).

"I would see if it would benefit the Host Club, which it probably would," Kyouya says, writing in the Ledger of Doom.

"We'd... Hikaru! What would we do?"

"Kill him," Hikaru replies darkly.

"But... Hunny-sempai is a seventh degree black belt!"

"We'd be sneaky about it."

"No! Hikaru, that would be too dangerous!" Kaoru hugs his brother.

Shashuko beams at the scene. "They're so gay..." she chuckles. "YAOINESS! The next review is from **-KotoroMeme-**!"

**I know you probably don't like all these types of questions but I have one for every host there is; **

**Tamaki - I know this is personal and everything, but why did you jump out of Eclair's car when you could've seen you mother?**

"Because Haruhi was right there. I had not seen my mother in so long, it was not believable that Eclair really had her, though I knew it was true. Haruhi I had seen recently and absolutely knew was real. Also, whta kind f father leaves his children behind?"

"Riiight..." says Shashuko.

**Haruhi - Another personal question, but do you love anyone in the Host Club...in a boyfriend way?**

"Boyfriend... way?" Haruhi blushes. "Oh! That's what all those questions are about! I thought they meant in a friend way... and I don't _really_ like any of them like that..."

"For shame! Has anyone ever asked you that question! It's an embarrassing prospect! Plus if she started going out with them, then people would think she was gay because they think she's a guy!" Shashuko says. "Also, I have decided that this fanfiction will not support one particular pairing or another, for that would not be fair to the others!"

"You spend too much time around Tamaki-sempai." Shashuko decides.

**Hikaru - You are my favorite character and I have two question for you! Will you marry me?! Also, I've read a story where Kaoru is killed and Haruhi was the killer, how would you feel if this had happened to you?**

"What?!? Haruhi would never... no!"

"Translation: he'd feel betrayed," Shashuko says pointedly. "Hikaru-kun, answer the rest of the nice girl's question-"

"Hikaru!" says Kaoru. "Don't marry that girl! ... I ... wouldn't approve!"

"Kaoru, don't worry. Only you..."

**Kaoru - You are my second favorite character, yay you! Anywho, as I said, I've read a story where Haruhi kills you, how would you feel if she hurt you physically in any way, shape or form?**

"I would feel betrayed."

"Whoa!" says Shashuko. "One has to be translated and one goes right out and says it! You two are more different than I thought... yay originality!" Shashuko does a peace sign.

**Kyouya - Tamaki's father and your father have been fighting over who gets to marry Haruhi. Do you think Tamaki or you should marry her and why?**

"They have? I was not informed," Kyouya notes. "And... marry Haruhi? She may be bright, but she's still a commoner... and not my type."

"I suppose Kyouya likes girls with pretty underwear," Shashuko notes.

"NO."

**Hunny - Kawaii! Anyways, how come your not tall like you cousin?**

"Well, the Haninozukas have always been short. Takashi is a Morinozuka, and they've always been tall. We only became closely related a generation ago, ne?"

**Mori - How come your not short like you cousin?**

"I am a Morinozuka. He is a Haninozuka. Morinozukas are tall."

Sorry to the twins about the depressing questions but I love you!

"If you love us, you'll leave us alone! Now make like a good little fangirl and scat!" sat the twins, whose prides are still injured from -KotoroMeme-'s questions directed at them. They stick their tongues out at her.

"Calm down," says Shashuko. "Open your mind and float downstream... it is not dying... The next question is from **Mimsiechan**!"

**I intend to put some of these ideas in my fanfiction... D **

**-insert evil laughter here-**

"I figured that much, Mimsiechan, but if you do, tell me because I wanna read it!" Shashuko explains.

**hands Huni a bag of cookies- Here! For you!**

"Yum! Thank you Mim'chan!"

**I'm coming up with more questions as I write this. But...I'll save them for later.**

"Goody! But not too long please! People write so many of these dang things!" Shashuko says happily, because she doesn't mind that much. "Next we'll hear from the awesome **Chibiharu-chan**, but we'll save that for a little later for the sake of Kyouya, who hasn't threatened me all day! So... next from Camierdan!"

**-laughing very hard- XD Aw, goodness, my cheeks hurt now...**

**And I'm glad that you found the "Tamaki hour" thing funny. 'Cause, uh, I wasn't able to. O.o**

"Don't mention it. I have a very strange sense of humor, and I happen to like puns and plays on phrases. That is why I love Weird Al Yankovic so much!"

**Anyway, aw! 8D snaps a photo ...Mine. X3**

**And... uh, check? 8D;**

**Ah ha. XD But, Tamaki- senpai, you can forgive a preteen... right? -watery eyes of DEWM-**

"What did you snap a photo of? If it was of the Host Club, it's Host Club property. Check? Yes, thank you." (I have no idea what that was supposed to mean, sorry!)

"I do not know what I being forgiven for, but I apologize from the bottom of my heart!"

**Ah, yay cake. :D -hands Hunny chocolate-strawberry cake- It's a bit burnt, but I'm not the world's best baker... -sweatdrops-**

"Mmm! Chocolate strawberry! Thanks Cammy-chan! Waaaii!"

**-hands Shashuko- senpai an icepack- :3 To help with the swelling.**

"To ... help ... with... the swelling...? Hahahahaahahahahahahahaha!" (no really, I actually chuckled.) "And, wow! I'm a sempai now! Go me!"

**And one final thought before this review ends: Kyouya is way hotter than Tamaki, anyway, anyhow. :o -slap'd- Oh, and Renge scares me, too, even though I find her to be a great character. :D -shot-**

"Ayakanouji! You''re not in this, so stop slapping people!" yells Shashuko.

Ayakanouji shrugs and walks out through the portal, slapping Haruhi on the way.

"I AM NOT SCARY!" Renge goes Medusa.

"Anno... Renge-chan? That thing you do with your hair is actually pretty creepy-- Ayakanouji! No shooting either!" Shashuko shoves Ayakanouji out the portal all the way and closes it. "Eh heh... now from **graveyardbetty**... AKA **Chibiharu-chan**!!!"

**hi sha-chan!:D it's me chibiharu-chan this is just my backup account has a sweatdrop**

**I'm rewriting my review since most of it has been erase!Dx**

Shashuko looks at Chibiharu-chan's review under her usual account. "I see. I wouldn't have thought of this, you know. You are so smart! Whee!"

**wo!xD i'm first in this chapter xD I feel so special now!-huggles shashuko-thankie!3 oh and I'm going through the portal now!-has a huge grin-**

"Yay for portal jumping!" Shashuko says, as Kyouya backs into a corner, shaking in fear.

"So I will finally meet the famous Chibiharu-chan who Kyouya keeps talking about," Renge says joyfully. "I could eat three bowls of rice!"

**(jumps through the portal and is wearing a blue skirt and the ouran shirt and jacket)this my girl version of the ouran boy skewl uniform :D ne hikaru kaoru try forcing haru-chan into this pleas?3**

The twins find a copy of Chibiharu-chan's outfit lying on the floor and start chasing Haruhi around with it.

**wth?!??!DDx I got a pervy stalker nyuu!D: -builds a fort around me that made of all my anime stuff- stay away kyouya -pokes him with a pitchfork like 20 times and poke tamaki really hard with the pitchfork as well-**

"Why?!?" Tamaki asks.

"Grin and bear it, Sergeant Pepper," Shashuko tells Kyouya.

**ne sha-chan: the horrors is a band from england!(huzzah!)they're new!3 faris rotter is the singer, joshua third is the guitarist, rhys(spider)webb is the keyboardist, tomenthy furse is the bassist, and Coffin Joe(I luve this guy)is the drummer**

**who is super kewl, handsome and has GORGEOUS blue eyes**

"I see... I'll look them up on iTunes," notes Shashuko.

**ne sha-chan my charry name is Betty Miyako aka Graveyard Betty**

**she is around haru-chan height has slightly short choppy black hair and purple eyes, she is very hyper and random and is very rude to people she dislike -cough-tamaki-cough-**

"Thanks! I will use you, starting in the second or third chapter probably!"

**for haru-chan:-pushes haruhi towards the twins and make her kiss both of them on the cheek and while taking picture of each kiss- yay! now I got pics of two of my pairing! xD my third and last one is twinharu:D**

Haruhi glares. "Did you really have to do that?"

"Oh! I want a copy!" Shashuko screams.

"All male love triangle..." Renge says, drooling.

"Haruhi is a girl," Shashuko says, "Didn't you know that?"

"HUH?"

"Yep. She poses as a boy to pay off her debt."

"WHAAAT?!? Noooooooo!"

Renge exits through the portal. "It can't be true!" her words linger after her.

oh yeah I forgot to mention this in my other reviews sha-chan u rock my socks and long live ur fanfic!xD

"Thank you! Long live this ficcy indeed! But I won't be able to write as much when school stats again, just FYI. I'll wake up get outta bed, drag a comb across my head, find my way to the kitchen and drink a cup, then realize I'm late... ! Chibiharu-chan, you forgot to leave!"

The twins push her out rather rudely.

"Is that any way to treat a lady?" Shashuko sighs. "Now... the next set of questions is from **crazy-gemini124**."

**I've got a lot of questions, so prepare your selfs.**

**To start, Shashuko, I've got 4 for you.**

**1. Ya rock.**

"I know, I know, thank you."

**2. Can I have a copy of that picture of Tama-chan kissing Kyouya-kun? I'm a rabid yaoi fan.**

"Here ya go!" Shashuko pushes a copy through the portal to the reviewer.

**3. Where do ya get the idea's for the answers?**

"I just imagine I was them, and the idea comes out. If it's OOC, I don't use it.

**4. Have ya heard the the club sing? If not (for you) Kyouya's is Tsumetai Yoru.**

"Anno... I've heard Doki Doki Waku Waku, and I think Bokura no Love Style is the twins, but I haven't heard Kyouya's, Tamaki's, or Haruhi's songs. If they have any."

Shashuko goes on Youtube and looks up 'Tsumetai Yoru.' There are, indeed, several AMVs of this song for Kyouya. She clicks one and watches it.

Five minutes later...

"Wow! That song had a nice melody... yeah, I just looked up the ouran high songs. I didn't know you could sing, Mori!"

**I have mutiple for Tama-chan.**

**1. Did your vocal cords hurt from all of those long high notes on Guilty Beauty Love?**

"No, I did took singing lessons in France!"

"Tono can sing? Tono can't sing!" the twins are in a state of shock. "That song was not Tono! he must have lisped it!"

"I hid my talents, since I knew you would be jealous!" says Tamaki.

**2. What's the difference between kawaii and bishounen? I really don't get it. Personally I find ya pretty fricken hot. (by now you should tell I'm a fan girl. I've got a plushie!)**

"Bishounen means 'beautiful young man,' so bishies can't be cute!" Tamaki exclaims.

"Time to quote Fruits Basket," Shashuko sighs. "Look. Often, when people call you cute, it's because they love you. She said she was a fangirl, right? So she likes you!"

"It's not quite that," Haruhi sighs.

"Shh!" whispers the blonde otaku. "Let him think what he wants!"

**3. Aside from the darkness, the fact that he's cute, and he is your best friend, what do you see in Kyouya?**

"Kyouya is a person who is truly kind at heart! Even though he rarely show it," Tamaki says.

**4. What about Neko-chan freaks you out? Aside from the fact he put a "Curse" on you.**

"He always stays in the shadows, as if harboring a terrible secret... and the way he talks is creepy!"

"Do you really think I'm creepy, Suoh-san?" Nekozawa asks, speaking near Tamaki's ear. He stiffens, turns white, and faints. "Your compliment is appreciated."

"I do! It's the creepiness that makes you awesome!"

**5. What do you think about your fan girls? Answer truthfully! I'm putting a lie detector on you.**

"My fangirls are all so dedicated...! They love me so... how could I not love them in return?"

Shashuko smirks. "In the words of Bisco Hatori-sama: 'He appears quite glib with the girls, but he really means what he says. To him, all girls are pretty, and he's at his most self-important when he's charming them giddy.' "

"He means all of that?" Haruhi asks in disbelief.

"Yes, my daughter! I truly do! I am the sort of man who never tells a lie!"

"That's disgusting."

**Honey-sempai: Ya want a cake? It's Oreo flavored.**

"Yay! Cake! Thanks, crazy-chan!"

"It's okay! I got to quote the manga!" says Shashuko, holding up a copy of Ouran High Host Club, Volume One. "Did you think I memorized that whole idea? I've only read Tamaki's profile twice. I don't often get that bored!"

Sorry if my review is too long.

"It's okay! It's not like this fic is taking over my life or anything"- (shashuko has her fingers crossed behind her back.) "No! The fact that I'm typing this during my little brother;s baptism party had nothing to do with it at all! Now, let's hear from **Why is th RUM always gone**!"

**Hola!! I'm back and I have some more questions/comments. I will also be adding to Shaa-chan's swelling head!! As to my name you guys and gals can call me Kiki-san,Kiki-chan,ect. because my real name is embarassing hide Tamaki's corner**

"Kiki...chan? You can't hide in Tamaki's corner. You didn't jump through the portal. Sorry!" Shashuko says. "And... your name isn't that weird! Your name is from Pirates of the Caribbean, right? My name means " 'archer child' the paisley maiden." You got off pretty easy!"

**First is Kyouya: Oh fangirls?? Well I have scary kid in black cloaks!! You're mean making Hunny-chan read from a cue card and you're mean!! Bet i'm smater than you. What's your GPA??**

"My GPA is 4.1... also, I can easy manipulate the fangirls of the other hosts by promising them these picture," Kyouya says, waving some pictures of Haruhi in her middle school uniform. And yes I am mean. Did you think I didn't know it?"

"Ne, ne, Kiki-chan, I didn't mind the cue card. Only the part about the Usa-chan keychains was on the cue card anyway."

**Next in the ever-so evil Hitachiin Twins: You really want to know what I did to make the cops block my number?? And yes Shashuko-san is a very telanted writer! Hikaru you seem to come off as the "dominate twin". Are you the head honcho,the boss, the leader, ect.??**

"Evil? We're not evil, we're devilishly so! And we do everything together."

"Hikaru only looks like he's controlling me because he's the Seme," Kaoru says.

**Neko-chan! Next is Neko-chan: My number?? Yes you are hot!! I am a very skilled wave sender!put Tamaki-san under abnomal pressure It is fun to torture Tamaki-san, huh Neko-chan?? I see why you enjoy it so much!! BAD BOY LOVE FOREVER! YOU'RE SUPER HOT!!**

"Yes, your number. Like I said, we don't have a wave sender."

Shashuko clears her throat. "I don't recommend you ask people for their phone numbers, Neko-chan. It makes me look like an internet stalker."

"Very well then."

"But, Kiki-chan, I could put you in my other Ouran fanfiction maybe. By the way, thanks for reviewing that!"

"Shaa-chan, this is Neko-chan's question. You should let him answer it, ne?"

"Very well. Continue, Neko-chan."

"Yes, torturing Tamaki is the only way I survive on some days. And why is everyone here calling me hot?"

"Because you are!" Shashuko hugs Nekozawa.

**Tamaki: You are disgusting! Child molester! Pediphile!!**

"Here, here!" say the twins,

Tamaki says nothing, but he goes into his corner and starts crying.

**Haruhi: I sympthize with you I have a friend that takes on the role as "daddy" Damn you Timmy It's embarassing,huh??**

"I don't know about embarrassing, but it is annoying," says Haruhi flatly.

"There's nothing wrong with it!" shouts Tamaki. "She was just seventeen, you know what I mean.."

"There's everything wrong with it," retorts Haruhi. "And I'm sixteen."

"Haruhi, you never told me!"

Hunny and Mori: I'm sorry I made Mori choose, but I was shocked at Mori's choice not really after all he is a teenage boy For shame,Mori-kun,for shame!! Do you forgive me Hunny-chan??

"It's okay, Kiki-chan. I'm fine."

"... Gomennasai."

**Stricks a pose Pokemon without Misty is NOT Pokemon at all! I hated May and I don't know about the new girl cause I don't watch it anymore! Long live the Misty Era! Oops did I just say that out loud!**

Mori nods. "... Un."

"Yes it is, yes it is, yes it is!" sings Shashuko. "the new girl's name is Dawn and she super clumsy, so she's more humanly believable than May. but she's still no competition for Misty-sama!"

"That's Kasumi."

"Mori, I'm American. I call her Misty. Actually, this is the one case where I call the characters the american dub names, which are usually pretty stupid."

**Thank for writing this Shaa-chan!! I didn't get a cookie : I will be a frequent visitor and I added your fanfic on my favs and alters! bye bye love Kiki-Chan evil grinwill you ever know my real name??**

"So sorry! Here's a chocolate chip cookie! Oh! Is your real name Amber by any chance? There's a Kiki at my school whose real name is Amber! ... the next review came from **MiekoMiyazaki**!"

**Mori-chan watches Pokemon? ME TOO! (squeals) Stand back, everybody...**

**(jumps through portal)**

Mori braces himself.

"**Hello again! MiekoMiyazaki here!" Mieko whips around to face Tamaki. "I don't care if I'm breaking the code of Q&A! This way I can be unique!"**

"MOM! MiekoMiyazaki has no respect for the rules!"

Shashuko nods approvingly. "If everyone respected the rules, we would all be boring!"

**This time, Mieko is clutching dolls of all the Host Club members and wearing cat ears.**

**"By the way, Shashuko... you can get these at your nearest manga-selling bookstore, or Comics Connection." she explains, throwing Shashuko a Nekozawa doll. "Anyways... a question for Renge... personally I think you're perfect for Kyouya," Mieko conjures up a pair of glasses and puts them on, trying to look smart. "How do you manage to install so many High Powered Motors around the world? (referring to the anime)"**

"I can... HECK YES!!! And a Neko-chan doll! KAWAII! Thank you _**so freaking much!**_ And Renge-chan has had enough for the day, but I'll bring her, I guess..."

Shashuko summons Renge through the portal.

"Haruhi! Why didn't you tell me you were a boy?"

"I had to pay off my debt to the Host Club. They didn't know when I first started hosting, and paying it back this way is much, much faster. If you all knew I was a boy, I wouldn't be able to host anymore."

"Renge-chan, just answer the question. You can have a nice, long talk with Haruhi about why she looks like Haku later."

"Haku from Naruto? She sort of does!" Renge read the question. "Kyouya...? He made me think he was like Miyabi, so he's a jerk!" Renge hisses at Kyouya. "Well, the High powered motor in the Host Club is a conductor's platform. I got the idea to put it other places and bribed people to put them there."

"I've only read parts of the manga anyway," comments Shashuko. "But, I saw the whole anime on YouTube."

**"For all the Host Club members (un-including Haruhi), what are your opinions on YourselfXHaruhi pairings?" Mieko questions, putting a pair of earmuffs on Haruhi. "Although... KyouyaXHaruhi is nearly impossible, and so are MoriXHaruhi and HaniXHaruhi fics... the Hitachiins were made for each other so... the most suitable would be TamaXHaru, but, OPINIONS, PLEASE!"**

Shashuko puts her hands over Haruhi's ears. "I'm blocking her ears! Speak the truth!"

"Me and Haru-chan? ... Haru-chan is a like a sister! ... But I would like that, too..."

"Like a sister? If you don't watch out, Hunny-sempai, you'll turn into Tono."

"Me and Haruhi? She's my daughter! But still... thank you for the support!" Tamaki gets surrounded and almost suffocated by his own bishie stars.

"See, Hani-sempai? And Haruhi is our toy, nothing more!" But both twins are blushing and no one believes them (neither should you).

"That commoner, with myself? That's ridiculous!"

"... Nice."

"You people are rude..."

"HARUHI!" yells all of the male hosts.

"But... but... Shashuko covered your ears!" Tamaki stutters.

Shashuko makes an evil grin. "Did you really think that I blocked her ears completely? That's impossible to do with your hands!"

**Mieko gives each of the Host Club members their own stuffed doll, then disappears in a puff of Mori-shaped smoke.**

Mori lets out a sigh of relief.

"Yay! A me doll!" says Hunny-sempai.

"Do I really look like this?" wonders Renge.

"No, you stupid otaku, you look worse," reply the twins.

Renge starts chasing them around with Medusa hair.

Shashuko stares a moment, then smiles. "Aww... young love."

"WHY WOULD I LIKE THESE HORRIBLE TWINS?!?" Renge yells.

"I was teasing you, silly. ... The next set of questions is from **Xx Tohru xXx Serephina xX**!"

**I love this chapter!! It makes me crease up laughing! Tamaki got boyd, loll!! I have thought of a question. **

"Thank you, girl. I hope you like this one too!"

**Haruhi, if you had to marry someone from the Host Club including Neko-chan, who would you marry? prays for the answer to be Mori**

"Well... not Tamaki. He's annoying."

Tamaki freezes up.

"And... Kyouya scares me, so no."

Kyouya smirks. He likes this answer.

"Hikaru is too wild. No."

Tamaki unfreezes and gives Haruhi a thumbs up.

"Kaoru is less wild than Hikaru, but he's still pretty uncontrollable, so... no. Hunny sempai is a little too greedy for me. Actually, none of these guys are really my type."

"You have a type?!?" Tamaki yells.

"So, if I had to marry one of these people, it would have to be Mori or Nekozawa. they never annoy me."

"Which one?" asks Mori seriously. The temperature in the room rises several dregrees.

Haruhi just glares. "You have officially annoyed me, making Nekozawa my choice by the process of elimination."

Everyone stares at Nekozawa, who just smiles is dark smile (of bad-boy hotness!).

Tamaki falls over and crawls to his corner, whining, "You say he loves you more than me, so I will set you free, go with him."

Shashuko gasps. "Oh my gosh!" she grins and starts yelling. "Hey people! If you get sick of reading the usual Haruhi parings, go read Monochrome by Ninja Shen! I think it's the only one of its kind! Plus it's my favorite fanfiction!"

**Shashuko, I love this story! You always keep me wanting more of it! I have a question for you; if you could meet any of the hosts in person, who would you chose you can only pick one!?**

Shashuko gets one of those Kyouya-ish 'thinking' expressions she is so fond of. "Hmmm... I have no idea. They all have so many good points. Probably one of the twins, Hunny, or Tamaki, because their flamboyant personalities make for less awkwardness, and I hate awkward."

She sighs. "But they all have good qualities... I'll use the Elimination Strategy! Tamaki is a pervert-"

"I am not!"

"Yes you are! - And I am extremely nervous about that sort of people, so... no! And now that I think of it, meeting Hunny would be awkward because I'd want to hug him, and if I did that would be weird."

"But I like people hugging me, Shaa-chan!"

"What about complete strangers? Wouldn't you think there was something wrong with that?"

"Oh, I see!"

"Plus, it's impossible to meet you as just one person in person because Mori's always with you. That leaves the twins... lessee. Hikaru or Kaoru... anno ... well, they're both wild, but I just like Kaoru better for some reason."

"Why?" the twins ask. "You can't tell us apart, can you?"

"Kaoru usually parts his hair to the left. Also, he's usually on the person facing him's left. I happen to be left-handed. Which is a stupid reason, so shut up. Also, I liked the "carriage" metaphor. I love metaphors."

"Those are stupid reasons," say the twins.

"I know, but that's the way I roll. Deal with it."

**Can't wait for more. Xx Tohru x Seraphina xX**

"I can. Sometimes answering all these questions is annoying, but if I ignore them, I feel guilty! Now we'll hear from Lady Isis rose. But I'm gonna watch an episode of naruto first."

Shashuko disappears in a puff of smoke, but then comes back instantly (but to her, it's been a day).

"HAKU DIED!!!" She says, sobbing her heart out. "I liked him!"

Renge pats Shashuko on the back. "It's okay. I cried too."

"He's the cutest character in the series! Why Haku why?"

"It's okay. We will always remember him."

Shashuko sniffs and nods. "The next review is from a new reviewer, **Lady Isis Rose**." she snaps her fingers and her entire outfit turns black. "Also, I'm now in mourning."

**This was a wonderful chapter Shashuko. Though I don't see why people are so mean to Tamaki. I'm not a big fan of him but I still think it's some what cruel (damn conscience).**

"Thank you..." sighs Shashuko.

**As for Nekozawa, I just have to say that I'm a big fan. I love you. hugs**

"Ha ha Tono, they like Nekozawa more than you."

"WHY NEKOZAWA WHY?" Tamaki joins Shashuko in crying.

"The next sniff review... is from **OuranSugerRush**."

**Sque! you put me in u put me in! thats so cool! yeah Kaoru-kun it is a coincidence and Tamaki seems really fun to annoy he gets soo kawaii!! people make fun of me because they say i have a boys name but i reaserched it on the internet and it's actually a girls name. i love you all! byez-**

"It can be a boy's name or a girl's name," the twins say, obviously very ticked off.

"I knew that before I even heard of Host Club... or Haku... waaah! The next review is from **Patty Simmons**."

**womg, the beatles. mad awesome. I love them with a passion. **

"Me too, me too. My friend in the real world will probably know all of these Beatles references and maybe find some I put in by accident," says Shashuko through a Noah's flood of tears.

**But not as much as I love you hosts:D **

"We know!" says Tamaki. "No one is as loved as me!"

"Just Nekozawa," say the twins.

"And Zabuza! Haku loved him!" Renge says.

"_Huh-Uh_! Haku liked Naruto!" Shashuko yells, still crying.

"He called Zabuza his 'someone special'!"

"As a father figure, stupid! Like anyone loves a father figure that way!"

"She has a point there," says Haruhi. Tamaki starts crying harder.

"That boy isn't good for you," say the twins.

"Plus, he asked Naruto out! Remember? _'We should see each other again?' _"

"And they did! In a fight!" Renge points out.

"NO! He meant as a date!"

"You read too much into these things!"

"But... but Haku is the only man who can serve uke to Naruto!"

"Naruto is not a seme! He is an uke through and through! He'd even be an uke to Sakura!"

"To Hinata!" says Shashuko.

"Like that'll happen! Naruto is gay with Sasuke!" say both girls at the same time. They both gasp.

And started squealing.

"NARUSASU FOREVER!!!" Shashuko and Renge commence with jumping up and down and squealing some more.

"This is what Tono would be like if he were a girl," note the twins.

**Alright quick question for anyone who feels like answering. **

**If you were to compare yourselves to any celeberity who would it be and why?**

"Justin Timberlake, because he is so loved," says Tamaki passionately.

"Also, Tono thinks he's got Sexyback," say the twins. "We're like Lindsay Lohan when she was littler, because she was in _'The Parent Trap' _and she was two and one people at the same time."

"Momiji Sohma! Because he's short and blonde like me, ne?"

"Hunny, that's an anime character. Pick a real person."

"Never mind then!"

"Bill Gates. I shouldn't have to tell you why." says Kyouya.

"OKAY! Next from **DarkSpiritLords**!" giggles Shashuko in a way that only otaku manage to pull off.

**Nya...where to begin? Let's start with Kyouya. You have potential to become the most evil ruler there is but you still need practice. Kyouya would you like to become the next ruler of Hell? With me of course. I'm a descendant of Lucifer so I should become the next heir to the throne(my brother showed no interest). I also wish to ask Neckozawa the same for you would show much promise in the dark magic department. **

"That depends. What's in it for me?" Kyouya asks, smiling disdainfully.

"Kyouya! Watch your mouth! She's the next ruler of heck!" Shashuko says disapprovingly.

Hikaru and Kaoru start laughing. "Well, Kyouya, it's the perfect job for you!"

"Of course, and thank you." Nekozawa smiles darkly.

**Shashuko-chan I have a present for you and Kyouya and Neckozawa. There are 3 special whistles that come with this message. You get the pink/black one. Kyouya gets the red/black one and Neckozawa gets the silver/black one. Blow this whistle and I will appear next to you with Aaron. Aaron is my demon guardian.**

"A demon guardian? Is it cute? Oh, and thanks! The black is good. I'm in mourning, you know."

"You sure don't act it," notes Kyouya.

"And the pink matches my personality! All bright colors do!"

"Thank you," Nekozawa says, pointedly ignoring the other two this comment is directed at.

**You can use me in the story if you want and Aaron doesn't talk but I can understand him clearly.**

"I just might. I don't know any Black Magic Club members besides Neko-chan, and I might sit with them at some point... or something.

**Neckozawa and Kyouya I'll wait for your answers. You have a max of 2 years until I return back to hell.**

"Thank you for considering me. I will think about it."

"Yes, thanks again..." Nekozawa smiles darkly. "There are few chances I will decline. Will Kirimi be allowed to visit? I don't think she's going to go down there."

Shashuko nods sagely. "She's too cute and innocent. Well, on the other hand, that can change with time..."

**Oh and Kaoru your so kawaii!! I'm sorry but I like you much better than Hikaru. You're actually my favorite character.**

"That's a sudden change for you," say the twins. You can tell which one is Hikaru because he looks pretty angry.

**Tamaki I can guarantee you'll never go to hell because I'll forbid it. You'll annoy the demons and devils too much. sigh I actually feel bad for the angels who'll have to deal with you.**

"I'm going to heaven!" dramatizes Tamaki.

"And she goes back to the dark personality. Does she have a split personalty?" asks the still angry Hikaru.

**Shashuko-chan you're truely amazing! I'm sorry for this long note. Please bare with it. I'm adding you as one of my favorite authors and be happy case you're the first one! Oh and if you do call us pleas dim the lights Aaron will not appear in light only when its dark but I know he's there because I can sense his aura along with others. Also WARNING: I have blood type AB so the earliest you can call me is 12:00 PM. I really do prefer night though.**

"I think she is. Or maybe she's just bipolar," Kaoru replies.

"HEY! Don't say that like it's a bad thing!" yells Shashuko. "One of the coolest people I know is bipolar!" she suddenly smiles. "Sorry, lost my temper there. So very sorry. Wow! First favorite author for you, huh? You have my thanks. Oh! And you're from Heck right? Give Hitler a 'Kick Me I'm Racist' sign for me, will ya?"

"Mormons are so weird," say the twins. "Just say the actual word."

"No! Then I would be less weird!" Shashuko giggles. "Now, where was I? Oh! That's the end of the review! Here's what **ColorsOver** wrote for this chapter!"

**arigato arigato arigato Honey senpai! I made a new cute friend!**

"You're welcome, Col-chan! Ne, ne, why don't you come through the portal and eat some cake with me? If it's okay with "

"I wouldn't mind. And the word the you spelled arigato is Ç†ÇËÇ™Ç∆Ç§ or Arigatou.

Sorry, but I'm just super picky about these sorts of things! Now, for the review written by **Primeval Eidolon Scar**! What does primeval mean, by the way? I want to know, please!"

**" Oh, um, sorry, I'm not a guy, I ish Female! waves a flag Thank you fer answering my question! And hohmygosh! The Zuko plushie just reminded me of a dragon burp."**

"No, no, I'm sorry. It's my fault. And you're welcome."

Shashuko glares at the review screen when she reads the 'dragon burp' part.

"Why would Prince Zuko remind you of a Dragon Burp?" Shashuko asks, temper flaring. She does the Firebender Breathing thing (which she hasn't had to do all chapter! yay!) and smiles again. "Sorry 'bout that. I was a Zuko fangirl not so long ago. But now I realize he's not my type. But why a dragon burp? Please tell me!" she gasps. "There's only one more review! Drum roll, please!"

No one does the drum roll besides Renge. Shashuko blows a raspberry at everyone else besides Nekozawa.

"Thank you Renge-chan! Last, but not least, we'll hear from **Nicoltine**!"

**omg i'm dumb i put my review for chapter 4 in chapter one. TT oops. so i'm going to rewrite it in a review for chapter four. :D**

**-**

**great story By the way! -praises shashuko some more-**

"Don't worry, you're not the only one. And arigatou!"

**KAY QUESTIONS!**

**For Takashi (nicole doesn't like saying mori so much):**

**you like Pokemon! wonderful. if you could go on a journey what starter would you chose?**

"Pikachu."

"Mori, that's not a starter," says Shashuko. "It only counts if you watch the anime or, If my sources are correct, get Yellow Version."

"Then... Charmander."

**&Hunny: your so cute -hug- yeah not really a question. OH I KNOW! what is your favorite sweet, and if you don't have one, what is the one you like the most?**

"Angel food cake!" Hunny says joyfully. "Especially when Haru-chan makes it!"

**&Kaoru and Hikaru: I love twins, you guys top my list. but i have to say i like kaoru a little more.**

**Hikaru if i kidnapped your brother how far would you go to get him back?**

**Kaoru what do you think about his answer?**

"Is it just me, Hikaru, or do the fans like me more?" Kaoru asks thoughtfully.

"I think so, Kaoru."

"It's 'cause he's a little nicer, Hika-chan," says Hunny. "And in the end, the love you make is equal to the love you make."

"I would go as far as it would take to get my little brother back," Hikaru says defiantly.

"He's lying," says Kaoru. "I know for a fact that if he had to kill Haruhi, he wouldn't do it."

"That- that's not true!" Hikaru gasps. "Why you little--"

"You two, no more scripted fights. I'm NOT letting you go to my house again," says Haruhi flatly.

"Crap," say the twins.

&Kyoya:Do you ever get bored of just writing notes all the time, and do you ever get sidetracked and end up doodling all over them? (I know for a fact i would)

"No, don't be ridiculous, I-- Shashuko, give that back. Now."

"SQUEEE! Renge-chan, Renge-chan! Come look at this!"

Renge runs over to Shashuko, who has Kyouya's Ledger of Doom wide open and is staring at it.

"MOEEE! I've never seen one that cute!" gasps Renge.

"What is it?" ask the twins. They walk over to look.

"I see," they say after a moment. "You yaoi fangirls are so weird."

"Ne, ne, let me see!"

Shashuko shows everyone but the readers.

The twins grin evilly at the cameras. "Bet you'd all like to know what Kyouya-sempai put in this ledger, huh?"

**&Tamaki:QUE! vous n'aimez pas êtes appelé mignon! le type bizarre! vous êtes mignon le traite! (in French btw)**

**translation:WHAT! you don't like being called cute! weirdo! you are cute deal with it!**

" I'm not weird!!! " says Tamaki. ( these things mean french, by the way. )

"I wish I spoke French... nah, then I wouldn't have taken Japanese!" Shashuko says.

" I refuse to deal with it! Take that! "

**&Haruhi: Hi! so do you sometimes wear earplugs to ignore your felo members?**

"I do, but not while I have designators. Then, I wouldn't be able to hear their questions."

**&Nekozawa: omygoodness! i love you! -glomps- isn't he just the cutest person?!**

"He is!" squeals Shashuko, who drops Kyouya's ledger to glomp Nekozawa as well.

Kyouya runs over to where his ledger is and snatches it up before the camera catches it.

**keep up the good work.:**

"I will! And now, to work on my other Ouran fanfiction!"

The Hosts all file through the portal, Kyouya still clutching the ledger protectively.

"The next chapter I will start writing Monday morning at five o'clock as the day begins! Bye guys!" she waves at the last anime character to leave through the portal, which happens to be Nekozawa, and sighs after him. "I've got to get him into my life."

Shashuko walks over to the yellow easy chair in the corner of the room.

"Well, that was fun, wasn't it? You people are making me feel like I've never been born! Next time, I'll tell you where all the Beatles references were!"

She giggles. "Also, Tamaki won't be able to make it, since he's going to France for a dat or two. Something about finding his mother... so! I'll be bringing in Fujioka Ryouji, AKA Ranka-san or Haruhi-Papa! If you have a question for Tamaki, it'll have to wait! Also, Ranka-san will only be there while Tamaki's gone, so ask him questions fast!"

Shashuko, the Paisley Maiden, waves as the camera pans out.

"But tomorrow be rain, so,

I'll follow the sun!"


	6. Enter Rankasan! Tamaki's On Vacation

Shashuko is standing in front of the Evil Swirly Portal and looking at her reflection in it.

"I ... finally ... got... it..." she sings. "My... special... expensive... evil... AKATSUKI CLOAK!!! SQUEEE!!!"

Indeed, Shashuko is wearing a black cloak with red clouds all over it. In addition, her hair is in a ponytail and her nails are painted dark purple.

"I also got the Sound Ninja gloves, even though they have nothing to do with this..." says Shashuko to herself, making a girly pose in the mirror. Her eyes widen.

"OMG I'm on air! Heya readers! Didja miss me?"

Shashuko waves at the camera. "I thought not... well, the reason I haven't been working on this for awhile is my internet was down and we just got it back the day before yesterday... also, I write one chapter of my other Ouran ficcy, Ouran High and the American Otaku, before I write one of these. I alternate between the two... also, I've been lazy recently. Sorry 'bout that... it won't change."

Shashuko holds up a dark blue binder and waves it around. "Also, I'm editing my friend's fanfiction.. if it ever gets posted I'll tell you."

"Second item of business before the show starts: NO ONE FOUND THE BEATLES REFERENCES?!? Until someone finds at least one, I won't tell you what's in Kyouya's ledger!!! Remember, you must also tell me which song it's from, since some of the are things that are obviously from a song. Good Luck! _Ganbatte ne!"_

"Third item o' business-- Tamaki's on vacation! So, we're bringing Ranka-san instead. Whee! I might not be able to get his character right though... but I'll try!"

Shashuko whips out her evil remote and in come the Host Club, minus Tamaki but plus Nekozawa and Ranka-san.

"Hi guys!" Shashuko says cheerfully. "Bet ya didn't miss me!"

"I did!" Hunny says helpfully.

"We didn't," say the twins, Kyouya, and Nekozawa at the same time.

"You must be Shashuko. Kyouya-san has mentioned you a couple times, I think," says Ranka. "And to be in this Question-and-Answer fic with my cute daughter is _so exciting!"_

"Where's Renge? I wanna show her my Akatsuki cloak!!!"

"She's in shock because she found out I was a guy."

"Oh, that makes sense. If I found out Haku-sama from Naruto was a girl..." Shashuko shakes her head slowly. "It wouldn;t be pretty. By the way, I don't know Ranka-san very well, so he may or may not be in character. Just FYI!" Shashuko giggles. "Well! First question in from our favorite reviewer, Chibiharu-chan."

"What do you mean, favorite?" grumbles the Shadow Underwear Thief.

**to hikaru & kaoru:-jump back through the portal-oi!-has an annoyed face and forces hikaru and kaoru into a gir costume and put glue on the zipper so hikaru and kaoru can't escape-y the heck did you guys did that?I thought you guys would have been happy that I made haru-chan kiss you on the cheeks...or is it because you wanted haru-chan to kiss you guys on the lip?-ready to make haru-chan kiss u guys-**

Shashuko cackles in a very hyena-ish manner. "Gir... costume... ha-ha!"

"No one likes being forced into anything," say the twins disapprovingly, each poking Chibiharu-chan in the forehead rather hard.

"Agreed," says Haruhi flatly, glaring but keeping her distance.

"She has a point there," says Shashuko, waving at her Akatsuki-cosplaying reflection in the mirror and chuckling.

"If we kiss Haruhi, we don't want it to be because someone pushed us into her," conclude the twins.

**to sha-chan:can my charry be british pwease?:3and here -give shashuko the pics of haruhi kissing the twins on the cheek-oh what was in kyo-teme notebook?-has a confuse look on her face-**

"One British OC, coming right up!" Shashuko stares at the pics. "Aww... kawaii! If you wanna know what was in Kyo-teme's (nice nickname, I think I'll use that) notebook, find me a Beatles reference!!! Or make someone else do it. It's awesome... well it is to me. Ooh-hoho!"

**to haru-chan-gives haruhi a bazillion dollars-there now you can pay back your debt **

"Umm... I already payed off my debt... didn't you see the end of the anime? Shashuko's seen the whole anime on Youtube, but she hasn't seen the entire manga. So, if she hasn't paid it off yet in the manga, that's different."

"Can I have the money then?" asks Shashuko with visions of more cosplay stuff dancing in her eyes.

"I'll take that," says Kyouya. "You still owe me for those flowers from that day on the beach." He takes the money out of Haruhi's hands, glaring (cough ogling cough) at Chibiharu-chan.

**to tamaki:cause me no like you tama-baka -stick out her tongue at tamaki-**

"He's not here, remember? We'll tell him later," say the twins.

**to kyouya:Oi kyo-teme when are you gonna give me back my panties!-is ready to kick kyouya if he doesn't give them back-**

"When you stop threatening me."

_"Ooooo,_ pervert!" Shashuko says slyly. "Bye bye, Chibiharu-chan! Laters!"

Chibiharu-chan is escorted out my the twins (in other words, they yet again push her out rudely).

Shashuko sighs. "That wasn't very nice, you guys."

"Who cares?"

"Me. I find I am most easily insulted through insults to other people."

The twins get little flashy light-bulbs over their heads._ "Hey Tono! You're an idiot!"_

"But when in comes to you Tamaki, his reactions are so hilarious that insulting him is a must," Shashuko notes chuckling. "Well! Our next set of questions is from the very creative** Mieko Miyazaki**!!!"

**Okay... More idioticness coming up!**

**(jumps through portal)**

"YAY!" says Shashuko. "Mieko-chan! Mieko-chan! Waddaya think of my Akatsuki cloak? Isn't it awesome?!?"

**"Mori!" MiekoMiyazaki glomps Mori. "Okies, I'm done," **

Mori breathes out a very audible sigh of relief (no offense, Mieko-chan. have YOU ever been hugged without warning? no fun.)

**She gets off him and pulls out a large paper fan. "By the way, Shashuko, I'm sending you a large shipment of Nekozawa action figures in various poses, with a free Beelzenef oven mitt! They should be arriving about-"**

"Yay! I can't wait!!!"

**A large hole appears above where Haruhi is standing and Nekozawa merchandise comes tumbling down.**

"Aaaah! My daughter is under that pile!" screams Ranka-san as she starts digging through the Nekozawa paraphernalia.

Shashuko dives in and starts swimming in it. "Cuteness! Wait, Haruhi's in here!" she stops swimming and begins digging.

Nekozawa stares and edges as far away from the pile as he can.

"Don't worry, Neko-chan," says Shashuko, dragging out an unconscious Haruhi from among several Nekozawa plushies. "I won't glomp you anymore."

He lets out a very loud sigh of relief. The twins come over and shake Haruhi awake.

**"Okay, time for my first question, for the twins!" She stands in-between them. "Why does everyone like Kaoru more? It's so unfair, it makes me want to do THIS!" She whacks Kaoru over the head with the fan. "Of course, it's understandable that Hikaru's voice actor is... not as nice-looking as his voice,"**

"Look, I'm all bloody!" says Kaoru. At the same time, Hikaru says, "Look, he's all bloody!"

"She's cruel!" the twins say together.

"Why do people like Kaoru more?" Shashuko says to herself.

"He's a little less chaotic," notes Haruhi.

"I think it might be because of his Carriage analogy," decides the blond otaku.

"Carriage... analogy?" asks Haruhi, confused.

"Oh, it's nothing," Kaoru says quickly.

**"Second question, for Tamaki! Why does everyone seem to hate you? You rock, are a bishounen, and have a wonderful tragic past! Not to mention that you're amazingly dense!" She hugs Tamaki, but not as big a hug as she gave Mori several reviews ago. "I'll be making you a shrine in my room after I finish Mori's! Of course, it'll be smaller,"**

"Tono isn't here..." say Hitachiin and Hitachiin.

"Since not enough people remembered he's not gonna be here, he'll answer all of your questions when he gets back... if I remember," Shashuko decides.

**"Next question for Shashuko! Are you tired of people who give reviews in chatspeak? I sure am," She looks annoyed at everyone who typed in chatspeak. "Okay, bring in Arai for my next question!"**

"Not really. I don't get too much of that. However, it does annoy when the word 'I' isn't capitalized or 'you' is spelled 'u.' However, it could be worse. You could SPEAK in chatspeak, like me. I say 'oh-em-gee' on a regular basis, so I'm not rally one to talk. One Arai-kun coming up!!!"

Shashuko takes out her remote and spins it like a baton. But of course, she loses control and drops it. The battery cover falls off.

"Aah! Oh, good, it's not broken. Just gotta put the batteries back in... here."

Shashuko fixes the remote and presses the Big Button, causing Arai-kun to fall out.

"Oh, hi Shashuko. _Hey,_ Haruhi."

"By the way, I don't know him well either. I probably won't get his character right."

**"Arai, I HATE YOU! You make Hikaru look all mean and stuff, even when you look amazingly like my wonderful brilliant lovely kind great man-of-few-words Mori!" She whacks Arai on the head with her fan and then proceeds to hug Mori again. She takes a picture of her hugging Mori with her cellphone and sets it as her wallpaper.**

"What? What did I do?" Arai is shocked.

"Mieko Miyazaki, I _am_ mean."

Shashuko shakes her head slowly. "I agree whole-heartedly. If Haruhi hadn't slapped him, I would've gone through the portal and done it myself! Hikaru said some really mean things back there. It isn't Arai-kun's fault Hikaru's a big jerk."

**A ladder is lowered through the hole where the Nekozawa merchandise came out from.**

"Was the stuff stolen...?" the twins ask.

**"Ah! My helicopter! Bye, my wonderful brilliant lovely kind great man-of-few-words Mori! And you too Shashuko! Enjoy the action figures! And... bye to those other people who are of not much importance in my life!" She scurries up the ladder, waves, and is gone.**

"What are we, next-door neighbors?" the twins ask, annoyed.

"No, you're other people who are of not much importance in her life. Wait, and I am?" Shashuko is shocked. "Yay! I have a positive impact on people!"

"She didn't say your importance was a good thing, did she?"

"Shuttup, Weasley Rip-offs. Eh heh... okay, now we'll hear from **crazy-gemini124**!"

**I had this weird gut feeling when I read my screen name. It was either the ice tea or the coffee flavored ice cream, dunno.**

**waai,no Tama-chan? sniff I've still got Kyouya and Neko-chan.**

"Well, I happen to weird people out a lot. Or maybe it was the tea or ice cream. Since I don't do caffeine, I have no idea what sort of impact that might have."

**Ahem, any who, Thanks Shaa-chan for the picture! I'm so gonna frame this. My friends that watch Ouran are gonna kill me though.**

"Are they Yaoi-Phobes like my mom?" Shashuko asks venomously.

**Honey-sempai: Yay! I'm Crazy-chan! Even though my friends think I'm insane but oh well. Are you a chocaholic? If so, Ya wanna split this Hershey bar?**

"WAAI! Chocolate! Yes please!"

**Mori: Did you know they didn't make a Mori plushie? I've been trying to find one for my friends birthday but I haven't found one. You should sue.**

"Hmm..."

"Is it just me or is everyone telling Mori to sue for something?"

"Yep!" says Hunny through his chocolate."

**Haruhi: I've been thinking. One girl to another. I've been thinking about getting my hair cut and what's the best way to do it with out it floofing (don't ask...) up?**

"Floofing? That can be a problem... I suggest a wet comb."

**Ranka: While you're here, were you dropped on your head as a baby? The cross dressing thing is scary. I'm sorry but I had to say it.**

"I WAS NOT!!! Haruhi, see how mean this person is?"

"Just think of Ranka-san as a girl. That's how I dealt with this sort of thing before I became, as my mom would say, 'desensitized'..."

**Hikaru and Karou: What's wrong with us yaoi fans? )3 We're normal in a weird way.**

"You creep us out... and normal in a weird way doesn't count as normal either."

"I agree with her," says Shashuko. "A lot of the people at school consider me weird, but among otaku I'm one of the crowd."

**Can't wait to get these answered! (now) Crazy-chan**

"Bye Crazy-chan!" says Hunny. "Thanks again for the chocolate, ne?"

"Bye bye! Okay, now we'll hear from first-time reviewer **-'Kumori-Koi-Chan'-** !"

**This is the one and only Kumori-Koi-Chan! The one with the complicated name, if you will. First of all, I'd like to say that Kaoru, I love you to little pieces. Seriously, I'm a huge fan. If somehow you died in the manga, I'd cry. Tamaki, you're my second. Hikaru, you're my third. And everyone after that is a little scattered xP**

Hikaru grumbles. "I agree with Mieko Miyazaki. Why does everyone like him more?"

"I don't think we should tell Tamaki about this review... he'll make big deal of being second to Kaoru," says Haruhi.

"-Which would be funny," interjects Shashuko.

"Not to me."

**Anyway! Onto the questions... the first one is for my favourite, Kaoru!**

**So, Kaoru... it seemes lately (in the manga) Hikaru and Haruhi are becoming your main priorities. Now, for all HikaKao and KaoHaru fans out there (I am a fan of both), I must ask; who would you choose between the two if you would be with someone romantically? Hikaru or Haruhi? (No 'brotherly love' acts outside the Host Club! I want a actual honest answer!)**

Kaoru looks over at Haruhi, who glares. "I would pick Hikaru, of course!"

**The second is for Haruhi, my favourite heroine! How would you feel if you found out that fans from the anime you are in paired you up with all of the Host Club members, even some supporting characters, and even a female?!**

"I already know that... frankly, it scares me."

"Look on the bright side! Tamaki doesn't know about the fanfiction," Shashuko points out.

**A question for all of the Host Club- Seeing as you use sexual preferences to your advantage, I am curious; where do you stand when it comes to homosexuality?**

Shashuko giggles and starts humming the 'If You were Gay' song.

"Well... we don't mind it," say the twins in unison. grinning.

"Men or women doesn't matter," Haruhi agrees. "Although I still don't understand yaoi fangirls... to me, it's just the same as straight pairings.

"... Don't care." is all Mori says.

"As long as it's cute, ne?"

"As long as it brings me money."

**And one for Tamaki- Recently I read a fanfiction about this, and I am curious. Tamaki, what is your favourite flower?**

" "Of course, the rose!!!" petals of the selfsame flower swirl around the Host Club King-"

"Is probably what would happen if he were here. But he's not!" Shashuko chuckles. "We'll ask him in the next chapter. In fact, I may have the next chapter just be Tamaki answering questions you people are asking while he's not here."

**And I have one for Hunny and Mori- How do you guys feel about not being nearly in the spotlight as Tamaki, Haruhi, and the twins? It seems some people think of you as just add-ons and not very important unless saying some intelligent predictions like in episode 23...**

"... Don't mind."

"It kinda bugs me, ne? Makes me mad..." Hunny glares.

"Oh no it's dark Hunny!" Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki all run to the opposite side of the room.

"Dark Hunny, eh?" Nekozawa steps closer. "I've never seen this side of you up close, Sempai..."

Shashuko, shaking in fear, holds up a paper bag. "I must fix this... here! Designer chocolate!"

Hunny turns his head quickly, making Shashuko wince. "What brand?"

"Um... Jacque Torres! It's from, it's from New York."

"Can I have some?" Hunny glowers.

"Umm... sure!!!"

"Waaai! Thanks, Shaa-chan!" Hunny takes the bag and starts eating the chocolate medallions inside. "Yummy!"

**To Hikaru- I know it is a bit of a rude question, but do you have anger management problems? Did you ever have to take classes to help cool your temper down?**

"No, don't be ridiculous!"

"He's just embarrassed," Haruhi says flatly. "And yes he has. I would know because I had to drag him to the doctor's office all the way by myself."

Hikaru proceeds to sit in Tamaki's corner angrily.

**And last, but not least, Kyouya- I have noticed that only your father has been shown in the anime and manga. What happened to YOUR mother?**

"Nothing. She just isn't shown. We never meet Hunny-sempai's mother, the Hitachiin's father, or either of Mori-sempai's parents, either."

**That's all I have for today. Thank you for listening and, hopefully, responding to my questions for you all.**

Kaoru sounds worried. "Haruhi, did you have to mention Hikaru's anger management? He's in one of his moods..."

"I couldn't let him just lie like that, could I?"

Hikaru glares. "I hate you all. With the exception of Kaoru, of course."

"Umm... you're welcome!" Shashuko says hurriedly. "All in a day's work."

"Shashuko, it's been more than a week since you started writing this chapter," Haruhi says.

In Tamaki's corner, something is happening. Hikaru begins to shake and stand up next to his younger brother.

Both twins begin laughing symmetrically. "Ha ha ha ha! She has a point there, Amerikajin!"

"Shut up," Shashuko says eerily. "Eh heh... sorry bout that! Anyway, the next review's thankfully short and from **Patback409**!"

**Ranka, how in the world did you let your daughter join a host club...full with guys? And you let her travel with them too! steals Haruhi I bet that you don't know what Kyouya did in that beach house, eh?**

"I let her join because she wanted to pay off that debt... once my daughter makes a decision, there's no going back. It's cute, on her... HEY! Give her back! Kyouya-san... what did you do to my daughter?!?"

"Yeah, is it something Tono would kill you for?"

"Nothing happened," say Haruhi, Shashuko, and Kyouya flatly.

"KYOUYA-SAN!!! WHAT HAPPENED?!?"

"Nothing of consequence..." Kyouya says.

"Oh my, what a dilemma," Shashuko giggles. "By saying that, Ootori-san, I think you might have made him MORE suspicious. Anyway, now we'll hear from Mimsiechan!!!"

**Ah-ah-ah--WHAT'S IN THAT LEDGER??**

"You no Beatles findy, me no Ledger showy," Shashuko says babyishly.

**2 questions this time:**

**Twins: What's your favorite prank you've pulled and on who?**

"Oh, there are so many good ones... I think it was that one we pulled on Tono last year."

"What happened? What happened to that blonde idiot?" Ranka-san asks, clearly very interested.

"Well, when he was changing in the dressing room, we stood on either side of the door with paintball guns. Then, when he came out, we shot him."

"His cosplay outfit was ruined, so I had to have them shoot everyone else as well," Kyouya concludes, "So we'd match and the customers would think it was part of the plan."

"We had a hard time shooting Hunny-sempai."

**Tamaki: What's your favorite song to play on the piano?**

The twins clasp hands and spin around in a circle, singing:

"Tono's on vacation! Tono's on vacation!"

Everyone: I gotta bag of voodoo dolls here. Anyone want them, or should I just give them to Neko-chan?

Shashuko gasps. "That reminds me of something from the third chapter my other Ouran fic, which isn't posted yet!

_"Does she have E.S.P.? Yes, she had E.S.P.! _

_"Does she have E.S.P.? Yes she had E.S.P.! _

_"I wanna know wanna know wanna know--- I wanna know what's real..."_

"If you tell me what band and song that is, I might tell you what's in Kyouya's ledger! But you also have to find a Beatles reference."

Shashuko spins around and looks at her reflection in the portal thingy, which is shiny. "I love my evil little Akatsuki cloak! And I love first-time reviewers, but this isn't one of them!!! Minna-san, meet **RaccoonGirl22**!"

**oh!! i just watched that episode of naruto! slips into world of complete sorrow why did haku have to die?!?! **

"I know!!!" Shashuko says sympathetically. "Of course, with everyone and their brother ranting about it with me, I feel much better. If you want, you can join Gaia Online and find my friend Haku Pwns yer Face. She'll help you feel better. Say Shashuko sent you XD."

**And hikaru kaoru u guys picked the wrong day to get snippy with me! imidiate personality change one of the hottest charectors in naruto just died! **

"We're not sorry."

"Waddaya mean _one of the hottest?!? _Haku's THE hottest!!!"

**And i broke my foot today at the mall!! And my friend just got in a car accident! so i'm in no freakin mood to deal with your attitude!!burning eyes dont make me come through the portal!**

"We're still not sorry."

**another imidiate personality change Omfg!! i luf naruto i've gone total fangirlness!! i think Gaara and deidara are so hot!! dont you shi-chan??**

"Heh heh Gaara... I think he has the biggest fanbase covering. And Deidara... I don't know much about him 'cause I'm still watching the Chuunin exams... I can't find any of the episodes I want dangit! I am capable of doing my hair like Deidara though... and I HAVE THE CAME CLOAK! WHEEE AKATSUKI CLOAK! I LOVE YOU SO! I wore it to the 'Harry Potter 7' party at my local bookstore... two people commented. However, since Deidara's hairdo is kinda showy--"

"--And that cloak isn't?"

"Shut up, Weasley Rip-offs! --- I did wore Itachi's hairdo. And consequently was mean to my little brother. I found my dad annoying... I really synthesize with that guy sometimes. Or is it sympasize? I swear if it weren't for Spell Check I would be dead right about now."

Shashuko makes a cat-like pose with her Akatsuki cloak. "Anyone here read Tokyo Mew Mew? Anyway, the next review is from **AKAAKAAKA** nyan! Is your pen name the japanese word for red or A.K.A three times?"

**sighs oh well guess i try. i just have two questions...why does not hunny grow up..i mean hes always short..not that i have anything against it..**

"I am a Haninozuka and we've always been short!"

"Ha ha, Hunny no Zuka... sorry. My little sister keeps saying that."

**and haruhi chan..will you marry me? ill pay your debt shows a briefcase of 2 billion dollars **

Shashuko gasps excitedly. "Have I found a male Ouran fan? NO FREAKING WAY!!!"

"I already have my debt paid off... so why would I need the 2 billion anyway?"

**or be my friend at least..**

"Maybe, if you stop proposing to/bribing me."

**btw if not hikaru kaoru would you both MARRY her? (thanks shusako chan**

"Maybe, to annoy Tono... HEY HARUHI!!!"

"NO."

Shashuko shakes her head slowly. "Poor, extremely sought-after Haruhi... sigh if I had Tamaki after me, I don't know WHAT I'd do... probably slap him! ... Maybe I will anyway... SO! The next review is not only really long, it's also from a person with a really long nickname... **ColourfulKyouya-SempaiMaybe...**!"

**Hi! I really like your fanfic Shashuko, the Paisley Maiden! Keep up the awesome work! And if it's already can I put in dares for the host members too? But if I can't then just ignore them.**

"Thanks! And I'll put the dares in... but they might not do 'em."

**Kyouya - Out of all of the cosplay costumes the host club has wore, which one was your personnal favorite? Also... Are okay without your glasses? Because in episode 8 you looked find without the glasses... And by find I mean you looked like you didn't need them**

"I liked the Polynesian theme. We got a very good profit off it. I only need the glasses a little bit... I'm slightly farsighted and can't read without them."

**(Note to Shashuko: This is a random question... So you don't have to put this on the fanfic...Kyouya, have you ever imagined yourself as uke? Because all of my friends can...With Tamaki beening seme. xD;) Your my favorite character! xD;;**

"NO. And NO. I'm straight. Didn't you watch the beach house scene?"

"So something DID happen...!" growls Ranka-san. "What happened to my cute daughter?!?"

"Ask Tamaki later, Ranka-san," Shashuko decides.

**Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru - Why do all three of you like seeing Haruhi in frilly dresses? Don't you think they're to...puffly??**

"Tono isn't here... We like the frilly dresses because they're cute. Tono has his own perverted reasons."

"Perverted, you say?" question Haruhi and Ranka-san at the same time, both angrily.

"Probably..." Shashuko says.

"WHY THAT BLONDE IDIOT! I'LL KILL HIM!!!"

"Dad, calm down."

**Hunny - Do you like cakes from France more, or Japan-made cakes?**

"I like all cakes!!!"

**Mori - Did you ever wish you can be as hyper as your brother Satoshi?(Note to Shashuko: If you didn't the manga then you can change Satoshi to Hunny.)**

"... Not really."

"I've only read parts of the manga. Also, Satoshi's not that hyper, he's mostly just weird."

"He's only not hyper to you, Shashuko, because you are so much hyper-er by comparison."

**Haruhi - When you smile do you ever notice the sparkly background behind you? lolz**

"Yeah, actually. Those things annoy me."

**Dares:**

"These had better be good," say Hikaru and Co.

**There are two choices Kyouya can make, one is:**

**Kyouya - I dare you to kiss Haruhi for seven minutes. D;;(Sorry but I'm a fan of KyouyaxHaruhi, so I just have to, so I can please my inner fangirl xD;;) And you can't blackmail me because blackmailing is against the laws?(I'm not sure)**

"No. And I AM the law. Haven't you heard of the Ootori private police?"

**Kyouya - I dare you to donate ALL your money to clarity D**

"Still no."

**If Kyouya chose the first choice then:**

**Haruhi - I dare you to kiss Kyouya back... D;(I'm sweating to much)**

"Even if he did, NO! Kyouya-sempai scares me."

**Tamaki - I dare you to not interfer with Kyouya and Haruhi kissing.**

"Tono's not here, and Haruhi didn't do it, but if he was and she did, he wouldn't take you up in that."

**Hikaru and Kaoru - I dare both of you to not interfer with Kyouya and Haruhi kissing.**

"If she did, we wouldn't take that dare either."

"We'd intercept him."

"You two..." Haruhi glares.

**If not:**

**Haruhi - I dare you to make o-bentou's for everyone in the host club...Including Shashuko for a week... But the food would be of your choice.**

"I guess I will... but I'll stop if Tamaki-sempai does anything too weird."

"Make mine an unagi!" Shashuko says, giggling.

**Hikaru and Kaoru - I dare both of you to not do pranks for a week.**

"If we didn't, we'd explode. No."

**Hunny - I dare you to do a prank call on Yasuchika?**

"I'll do it of you give me cake!"

**Mori - I dare you to talk more often...?**

"...No."

**Also instead of using ColourfulKyouya-SenpaiMaybeNot you can use YoukaiMikoSama. D;; Thankz! You're a awesome writer!**

"What? I don't get it."

"There are a lot of things you don't get, Amerikajin."

"Thank you for your vote of confidence. Now, we'll hear from **Xx Tohru xXx Seraphina xX**!"

**I love this chapter! I feel bead that you have to answer all these reviews, but doesn't that just show how much people like your story, so isn't it a good thing?**

"I suppose... but long reviews with no paragraphs really tick me off," replies Shashuko, pulling of an exquisite Yuki Sohma impression (if you're angry, you might as well look good while doing like Yuki-kun). "By the way, thank you for making your review so short."

**Anyway, seeing as Haruhi doesn't want Mori can I have him? Pwease? Xx Tohru x Seraphina xX**

"No, because Mieko Miyazaki will kill me. And then who would write this fanfiction? My sister? I don't think so! Thanks again for making this so short! Now, the next set of questions and comments comes from the far land of **koolasapixels**!"

**Hmm... I've got lots of questions..and they are only for Hunny-senpai!!**

"Waai! I feel so loved!"

**1.) Your so cute as ever!!Ah!!Anyways um.. if (remember I said IF!) I would give you all the cakes and sweets in the world, what would you choose...**

**a. To be with Mori-senpai?**

**b.Or to have all the cakes and sweets in the world?**

"Yay! Someone called me cute! Well, if I had all the sweets in the world, they'd go stale before even i could eat them, ne? I'd pick Takashi because I get yummy things anyway!"

**2.) If you were taller, would you still be Mori-senpai?or just be yourself?**

"If I was taller, I'd still be me!"

**3.) Um why do you always have a bunny w/ you?Is there any time that you dont have it with you?**

"I don't bathe with it," says Hunny very seriously.

"OMG I got the cutest ever mental image typing that... SQUEE!" Shashuko squeals. "An-n-y-way, we shall now hear from Patty Simmons!"

**Tamaki is definatly bringing sexy back. SING IT TAMAKI-KUN!**

"Tono's not here, Tono's not here--"

"Ha ha! I don't know if he does, but I do know he thinks he does."

**and...ZOMG! Narusasu is the best yoai ever! Almost as good as Twincest.**

"I agree, best yaoi ever. But if I were you, I'd compare it more to Uchihacest or Sandcest."

"What is she talking about?" Haruhi asks under her breath.

"...No," decides Mori-sempai, "Hyuugacest is better."

"No, Uchihacest is better."

"Hyuugacest."

"UCHIHACEST!

"Hyuugacest."

Shashuko gasps. "Hidden meaning, hidden meaning! Who can find the hidden meaning!"

**Infact...**

**-takes out camera- Strike a pose for me boys! -snap- -snap- THE CAMERA LOVES YA! **

The twins shrug and hug.

**(loves this fanfic with a passion. )**

"I feel so loved! And now, we hear from **DarkSpiritLords**. Why oh why are your reviews so long, Spirit-chan?"

**Kyouya the way I see it being one of the rulers of hell would benefit you more than being the ruler of the world. Demons are much better guards than humans. They are invisible during the day and only certain people are able to see them. This way if someone was to try to...umm...lets say break in your mansion and kill you they would put their guard down because they can't see the demons and the demons could easily kill them off or capture them and a human wouldn't even stand a chance against a demon. Plus since they are invisible they can get you black mail very easily. One of the best parts is that they can take over someone's body. Also what will happen when you do die? You loose your title as the ruler of the world and then what? Being a ruler of hell is much better. As a bonus I'll give you these photos of the host club taken by Aaron. As you can see they are top quality. Much better than those photographers you hired. You can put them in the photo collection. I think the customers will really like this one where Haruhi is taking a nap. She rarely does this so be happy Aaron was able to get a few shots of these.**

"Hmm... you have a point there. I think I will take you up on your offer after all," decides Kyouya, pocketing the photos.

**Neckozawa hell is not as bad as it seems. Its very safe actually. Our technology is very advanced but life there is more simple. It has places where there is light for ones like Kirimi and its peaceful, grassy, and its almost like paradise. We have villages and castles but inside the castle is the modern technology like electricity, running water and etc. The castle is reserved for the rulers of hell and the council members but there is plenty of room for Kirimi. Its very heavily guarded. Then there are darker parts of hell for people like you where its... well dark. If Kirimi was to ever get hurt our medicine could cure her instantly. We have herbs and plants that could only be grown there and believe me they are the best there is. The only danger is the angels that trespasses but its very rare that they do because we could destroy them easily. However if Kirimi does become an angel and God sends her down to hell to try and take over or something(even though he knows fully well that his angels aren't strong enough compared to demons) we would have to destroy her, because most likely they would have had her brainwashed so even though you recognize her she won't know who you are and will have no mercy on you. So why not bring her to hell where she will be under my full protection instead of risking her going to heaven with God and getting brainwashed? No offence to anyone who believes in god and think he's great and all.**

"You spelled my name wrong. And I think I'll have to accept as well."

"Why would god try to destroy you guys? Then there'd be nowhere to put Hitler." Shashuko asks in exasperation.

**Oh and if anyone is wondering why we don't just take over heaven when we are clearly stronger is because we are grateful for what we have. We aren't greedy. **

Shashuko stares at the review screen. "If I had all that, I wouldn't be either."

**And Shashuko I haven't met Hitler yet. Its been a while since I've been back home. I need to finish my training in the human world before I can go back. Training is top secret sorry I can't tell you about it but I can tell you because of my training I now have split personalities and I am almost able to control them. There are only a few things standing in my way before I can completely control them. Its almost inhuman but hey when have I ever been completely human? Sorry for the long post.**

"Haven't seen him? Well, when you do, _crush him_. My friend who's German was afraid to do her family tree for fear she was related to him. And the long post? I don't mind them as long as I don't have to write so many answers, since I copy and paste the review questions anyway. Do you have manga books in Hell? If so send me Naruto Volume 2. It's got Haku-sama in it."

**See you next time! Bye Kaoru and Hikaru don't be jealous my best friend actually prefers you over Kaoru so don't worry! Still think Kaoru is better though.**

Hikaru just sighs. "I think I'm getting used to it, I'm okay. Thank for letting me know someone likes me better, though."

**Oh and I think they're going to reveal the Black Magic Club's members in vol. 10 of the manga. I have a picture of them. The guys are really good looking.**

"Thanks for letting me know! But my mom had banned me from buying any more Host Club books because she's a homophobe. I understand Uchiha Itachi more and more every day... not that if I killed my family I'd leave my brother alive. If I killed them it would be so no one found out I killed my brother." Shashuko gasps. "I'm being so mean today! I think I'm hung over from all that chocolate I had a couple nights ago... I've had a headache ever since!"

"Chocolate hang-over?" Haruhi asks, clearly weirded out.

"Yep. Hey Spirit-chan! I think I'm gonna use you in my ficcy, but I need a charry name and description. Also do you scare shy people? Because one of the OCs is from the Black magic Club and would be braver if they acted like Hyuuga Hinata."

"Hyuugacest," says Mori decidedly.

"Uchihacest! Anyway, I shall now write reaction for the comments of ColorsOver."

"Hyuugacest."

"Uchihacest!"

**oh. Okay. **

**Arigatou**

**comes through portal **

**I made a cake! You can have it Honey senpai. Tee hee. I hope I'm not too bad of a chef!**

"Looks yummy!" Hunny digs in. "WOW THANKS! IT's REALLY YUMMY!"

"Can I have some?" asks Shashuko excitedly.

"Here Shaa-chan."

"OISHII NA-! Thanks Col-chan! And now-- **Lady Isis Rose**!"

**To answer Tamaki's question as to why Nekozawa...well i guess some girls just love a little mystery. Also I can some what relate to him a little more. There are also a lot of other reasons but i'd rather not explain them all seeing as Shashuko probably has a million other reviews to get to.**

"Tono's not here, Tono's not here, Tono's not--"

"Would you two stop that? We'll let Tamaki know next chapter. Also, I wouldn't mind reading all of your reasons since I'll probably agree with all of them."

**To Nekozawa, they keeping calling you hot because duh, you are. To many of us fangirls anyways. **

Nekozawa looks at his reflection in the portal. "Am I really?"

**To all other people...be a little nicer to Tamaki. You people can be so cruel to him it makes me sad. And that's what I get for listening to my inner voices. BTW Shashuko you are doing a wonderful job.**

"I'm sure if Tamaki was here, he'd overreact in a way that would creep me out," notes Haruhi.

"Hooray compliments! Yays! And now from the lovely **Why is th RUM always Gone**! I saw a Gaara icon with your pen name on it yesterday!"

**Hola! Kiki-chan here and reporting for reveiwing! Wait what?! Sadly Shaa-chan I am not Amber. And me in your fanfic?! YAY! Sorry in advance if my reveiws are long sweat drop**

"Dang! If your name was Amber then you'd be Kiki from my school and I could use you as an excuse to tell someone that I'm not a freak... dang. Well, I'll need charry name and descrippy!"

**Kyouya: Dang you beat me by 2 points. And manipulating fangirls? For shame, Kyouya-sempai, for shame! Hahahaha I just love saying that:**

"I _have_ no shame."

**Next the vile Hitachiin Twins: Koaru-kun what would you do if Hikaru brought home a girlfriend?? Hikaru-san your brother is hot and you're not.Dr.Phil voice How does that make you feel??**

"Didja hear that Kaoru? We're vile!

"I heard, I heard. And I'm hotter than you."

"That makes me feel... angry."

"Hikaru, if you keep that up we'll have to take you to Anger Management again."

**Mori and Hunny: Hunny you act and look like Momiji-chan. And people say you sound like him in your anime. Have you ever read about him?? Mori-sama what is your favorite pokemon episode??**

"I haven't read the manga or watched the anime, but I've seen pictures of him!"

"... Fights Brock. Pewter gym. Shashuko, Hyuugacest."

"Uchihacest!"

**Neko-chan: You don't need my number i'll see you sooner or later. I think. Ah Cyber stalker! BAD BOY LOVE! Hands Shaa-chan matching Neko-chan gear.**

"Yes, bad boy love indeed... thanks for the gear."

"Shashuko-san is truly scary..." Nekozawa shudders.

Tamaki: Why do you let your imagination run wild with thoughts about Haruhi?? Nasty old man!!

"Tono's not here, Tono's not here!"

"Nasty old man... makes sense..." says Haruhi.

"You're our favorite reviewer!" unisize the twins (Unisize. I made that word up. Doesn't it sound cool?)

**Haru-chan: May I call you Haru-chan??**

"Sure, I guess... it's not that I really care..."

**Host Club, Shaa-chan, and Neko-chan: What kind of music do you like??**

"We like naughty songs," unisize (love that word!) the twins. Shashuko edges away.

"I like traditional japanese songs... and Mozart. It helps me study," is Haruhi's reply.

"First Pokemon theme..."

"I like Phantom of the Opera," says Nekozawa (no duh).

"I like songs like Doki Doki Waku Waku!"

Shashuko chuckles. "Mori got the Pokemon theme stuck in my head! Aah ha ha! I like pretty much all music, but right now, my three favorite bands are The Beatles, Shonen Knife, and Aqua. Does anyone besides me know Shonen Knife?"

**Bye bye love, Kiki-chan**

"That's the last review! So, Kiki-chan wins first prize! Which is... my undying appreciation."

"Amerikajin, that's a lousy prize."

"Shut up. If you don't like it, tell Weird Al. He was the first one to use that as an official prize, ya know."

"Can we go home now?"

"Okay, you can leave. Bye peeps!"

Ranka-san, Nekozawa, Haruhi, and a bunch of homo side character wave and leave.

"Bye Shaa-chan!"

"Bye Hunny-sempai!"

"Well, that was fun. Next time, we'll only answer question for Tamaki-kun... you have been warned! Also, he'll answer all the questions you asked him even though he wasn't here."

Just then, Tamaki comes in through the portal.

"Shashuko-san! I have returned!" rose petals bloom around Tamaki. "Did you miss me?"

"No. That's an asking-for-it-question, by the way."

"A what?!?"

"I'll explain later... go home. The chapter's over."

"What?!?"

"Bye, loser." Shashuko shoves Tamaki through the portal. "Usuratonkachi... heh heh, UKE-tonkachi! By the way, I didn't invent that phrase. My friend found it in a fanfiction or doujinshi somewhere, I can't remember which. It refers to Naruto. Minna-san, say it with me: SUPER UKE!!! Okay, gotta go now. Byes!"


	7. Tamaki Special!

Shashuko, yet again, wearing her Akatsuki cloak.

"Heya peeps! As you know, Tamaki wasn't here last time, so this week, we'll just get Tamaki and answer all the questions you asked, by accident I'm sure, and any additional Tamaki-related questions you have this week. The other members will not be present, but I'm sure they will be watching!"

"One more thing before we start! I saw a couple of really good questions in older chapters, but I they weren't there until after I posted! I think... anyway, if you didn't get your question answered, just ask again! So sorry!"

She spins around making her cloak, which is currently her most prized possession, flare out.

"Okay, let's go!!!" The remote appears in midair and lands in Shashuko's hand. She spins it around a couple of times and presses it at the ominous portal. The Host Club King falls out.

"Shashuko! Is it time for my special?"

"Yes, yes it is!!! Wave to the cameras, Tama-boy!"

"Tama... boy?"

"Yessiree bob! It's your official Shashu-chan nickname! I'm still working on names for the others, though."

"I see. _I don't like it!_"

"Sorry, Tama-boy! Once you get a Shashu-chan nickname, it sticks!"

"You're so heartless..." Tamaki curls up in his corner.

"Well, the first person to ask Tamaki a question last chapter was my good fried **chibiharu-chan**! If I may call you that."

**to tamaki:cause me no like you tama-baka -stick out her tongue at tamaki-**

"Why is everyone so mean to meeeee?" Tamaki whines, crunching himself up even tighter, still in his corner.

"Ooo, _schooled!_ Now, from **Mieko Miyazaki**!"

**"Second question, for Tamaki! Why does everyone seem to hate you? You rock, are a bishounen, and have a wonderful tragic past! Not to mention that you're amazingly dense!" She hugs Tamaki, but not as big a hug as she gave Mori several reviews ago. "I'll be making you a shrine in my room after I finish Mori's! Of course, it'll be smaller,"**

Tamaki stands up, rose petals flying around him. "Thank you! I don't know why everyone hates me..." he takes on a 'tragic' pose. "I guess I'm just... not likable... to people like that." He blushes at the hug (who wouldn't at a hug from a member of the opposite sex?).

"Aww," Shashuko giggles. "Now, **crazy-gemini** actually read this through and didn't ask Tamaki anything, so thanks Crazy-chan! The next Tamaki-related inquiry comes from **-'Kumori-Koi-Chan-**!"

**And one for Tamaki- Recently I read a fanfiction about this, and I am curious. Tamaki, what is your favourite flower?**

"Of course, the rose!!!" petals of the selfsame flower swirl around the Host Club King.

"Wow, Haruhi was right!" says Shashuko. "Okays, next is mimsiechan!"

**Tamaki: What's your favorite song to play on the piano?**

"I like Beetoven's 5th Symphony."

"You mean that one song that goes _danananananananananana, nananana, nananana, dananananananananana, dananana, nanana_, right?"

"Yes, that one!"

"I can't ever remember who wrote that one! Just that they use the tune in the DDR song 'Speed Over Beetoven.' "

"Isn't that by the Beatles?"

"No, that's '**Roll** Over Beetoven'. _And tell Tchaikovsky the news!_By the way, if you people can't find any Beatles references in Chapter 5, I'll give you a hint! I put one just before I announced that I was doing the Beatles references! Also, a lot of the things that sound OOC or like they're from a song, are from a song! So find something that sounds like it's from a song and copy and paste it into Google or something, because I want you people to find one so I can tell you what Kyouya was doodling! Now, the next question for Tama-boy here originates from** Colourful-Kyouya-SenpaiMaybe...** that girl who gave the host club dares as well as questions!"

**Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru - Why do all three of you like seeing Haruhi in frilly dresses? Don't you think they're to...puffly??**

"No, they're not! They're cute!"

"Ha ha! Now, to the DARES OF DOOM! Kyouya was dared to kiss Haruhi, and if he did, your dare was--"

**Tamaki - I dare you to not interfer with Kyouya and Haruhi kissing.**

"What! Someone's kissing my precious daughter! I cannot take this dare! Where is that Kyouya?!?"

"He didn't do it, Tamaki. Your other dare was-- ha! She only gave you one, unlike everybody else. Also, the dares are reason Haruhi's been making you a lunch this week, so stop fantasizing like that. It creeps her out.""

"It was... because... of a dare?!? But, I thought..."

"Nope! It's just for the dare! Isn't the eel sushi she makes the greatest?"

"It is! Haruhi's cooking..." Tamaki eyes fill with tears of happiness. "Is delicious! Who asked me a question next?"

"It looks to me like it was not a question, but a comment from **Patty Simmons**."

**Tamaki is definatly bringing sexy back. SING IT TAMAKI-KUN!**

"Me... sing? _I'm bringin' sexy back..." _he gets hit in the head by a wandering Shashuko.

"You don't sing it right. Like this:

_I'm bringin' sexyback- yeah!_

_The other boys don't know how to act- yeah!_

"_--_I don't remember the rest if the stanza, so I won't bother. But your tone isn't right! The tone is what makes the song so cool! Stupid Tama-teme. Ha ha. Tama-teme. Sound poetic. Anyway, time to hear what **Lady Isis Rose **has to say to ya, Tama-boy!"

"Stop calling me that!"

**To answer Tamaki's question as to why Nekozawa...well i guess some girls just love a little mystery. Also I can some what relate to him a little more. There are also a lot of other reasons but i'd rather not explain them all seeing as Shashuko probably has a million other reviews to get to.**

"Mystery, huh? I'll work on that..." Tamaki gets a very creepy look in his eye.

"True as when she wrote it! I still have lotsa reviews to handle. And don't make that expression, Tama-boy. If Haruhi's watching, I'm sure she just cringed."

"Stop calling me that!"

"Now, now, calm down. Would you rather I called you 'Teme-ki'? Because I can do that too! Okays! **Why is th RUM always gone** says--"

**Tamaki: Why do you let your imagination run wild with thoughts about Haruhi?? Nasty old man!!**

"I'm not nasty!" Tamaki whines. "I just have a very active imagination."

"I feel bad for you manga characters. I don't know what I'd do if people read _my _mind on a regular basis! Kanamelover also had something to say to Tamaki, but... she asked after I had finished writing the chapter! Sorry... anyway, that question was for the whole host club. Also, that's all the Tamaki-questions from chapter six that instead of Tamaki answering, had the twins whirling around and singing 'tono's not here!' However, I don't think I described 'special' chapter like this one well enough... no one asked just Tamaki-questions for this chapter! Tamaki, explain the specials, please!"

"A Special Chapter is when Shashuko, the Paisley Maiden, only calls ONE character and for the entirety of the chapter, is alone in the room with that character--"

"Ew! I just realized I'm alone in the room with Tamaki!" Shashuko runs as far away from Tamaki as is humanly possible without crashing through the walls or anything.

"--- and only Shashuko-san and that character answer questions."

"But, since I didn't describe it accurately enough-- my bad-- I'll call in the others for the rest of you guys' questions!"

"WHAT?!?"

For the second time this chapter, Shashuko pulls out her remote and summons anime characters-- this time, it's Hikaru, Kaoru, Mori, Hunny, Nekozawa, and HARUHI.

"Haruhi! My cute daughter!" Tamaki hugs Haruhi and spins her around (think episode 1).

"I was watching," Haruhi says, referring to Shashuko's earlier comment, "and I did cringe at that expression."

Tamaki only hears part of this. "YOU WERE WATCHING DADDY? OH my cute daughter! I love you more than any father has, ever!"

"Denial," smirk the twins. "So, who reviewed this chapter first?"

"It's **Mieko Miyazaki**!"

**Shashuko... YOU ROCK!**

**(jumps through portal)**

**"When Tamaki gets back, I'm gonna attack him with my fan again for not being in the previous chapter!" Mieko declares, pulling the menacing paper fan from her pocket. "Shashuko, you're my IDOL! I'm gonna make you a jingle!"**

"Yay! A jingle!" squeals Shashuko as Tamaki runs around being chased by Mieko-chan and her fan. "Your idol? Really?" she gets the famous starry eyes expression. "I'm so happy! I'm someone's idol!"

**"Oh, and for efficiency, I will now split into two!" Mieko splits into two Miekos. Mieko Number 1 shalt now be referred to as Rieko and Mieko Number 2 as Mieko. There. (We're twins sharing an account, by the way.)**

"She's copy us!" complain the twins.

"So? You're ripping off J.K. Rowling!" Shashuko retorts.

**"First question!" Rieko and Mieko chorus. "Weasley rip-offs! How do you feel when fellow Fanfictioneers pair you up with another set of twins?"**

"Speak of the devil," mutters Shashuko.

"We don't mind. We don't mind at all." the twins grin maliciously.

**"Second question... HANI! In almost every Fanfiction, you aren't paired with anyone... simply cos' you're too short! How does that make ya feel?"**

"It makes me... sad!"

"I started writing a fanfiction where Hunny-sempai had a fiance, once..."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but I thought it was kinda weird. Since I don't often like fanfictions where an OC is engaged to one of the characters, I don't write them."

"Aww... I feel left out!"

"I do read fics where you're paired with Haruhi sometimes, though. Maybe I'll try a oneshot or something one day. Maybe some day I'll write one for all of you. otherwise I'd be being mean, right?"

"You're being mean either way," Haruhi grumbles.

"Yes I know. Aren't I evil? Okays, the next person to review was chibiharu-chan! It must feel weird having two reviews answered in one chappie! She writes: "

**[since next chappy is question for tama-baka can u put this in the chappy after the tama-baka chappy?pweas?**

"No. I'll put it in now. HA!"

**to sha-chan: yaya thankie! x3 & I don't know any beatles references since I don't listen to them alot but my cousin does but he wouldn't help me -slight teary eyes-**

"Next time, I'll put the lyrics of an entire song," Shashuko mumbles. "I guess because I love the Beatles, I figured everyone else would know the songs. I know my friend Pepper would-- she taught me a lot of them! She also made me into the Beatles fan I am today. Thanks, Pepper! I still owe you a cookie! And you're probably not reading this anyway, whoopee!"

**to haruhi: -gets more teary eyes after what the twins said-waahh haru-chan please please please fall in love with the twins please?-has super teary /chibi eyes-**

"WHAT?" Haruhi falls over.

"I think you shocked her!" Shashuko takes a deep breath and yells, "TAMAKI DON'T MESS WITH HARUHI WHILE SHE'S KO'D! IT'S NASTY!!!"

"Aaah!" Haruhi jerks awake. _"Tamaki..."_

"Just kidding. Knew that'd wake you up!"

"Look, Amerikajin, you've sent Tono to his corner again."

"Tama-chan looks sad!"

"I sometimes have it hard believing he's ever happy. Then, as if to spite me, he has starts_ imagining things._" Haruhi shudders. "Then he seems happy."

"Wadda perv!" Shashuko giggles. "Now, let's see what **DarkSpiritLords** says this time!"

**Um...you want a character description right? Let's see...I'm about 5'4", dark brown eyes, light skin, silky black hair that reaches just below my shoulders and I almost always love to wear the color black. Though every once in a while I wear all white. **

"Thankee! Thankee much! I'll remember that!"

**Kyouya you're wrong. Haha Kyouya's wrong for once!! In the manga they did in fact show Hikaru and Kaoru's dad. And their dad is an executive for a software company incase you didn't know.**

Kyouya smiles evilly in Shashuko's general direction. "Shashuko-san, it would be good for your health to read more of the manga."

**Okay now then we need to figure out the living arrangements for you guys when you move in to the castle. Do you want them to be exactly like your rooms? Or we can decide later on. Oh I need you both to sign this saying that you are now on our side. Its a magical contract so you must sign your names with your own blood. Don't ask why I don't make the rules. Wait yes I do but its just a ritual thingy so just do it.**

Kyouya pockets the contract. "Due to the possibility that people who faint at the sight of blood might be reading, Nekozawa and I will sign this later and send it off to you. Expect it in three days."

"As for the living arrangements, just like my room would be fine for me," Nekozawa chuckles. "Kyouya-kun?"

"The same for me."

**One of the main reasons god sends angels down to attack us is because he wants control over us. One of the most common ways to gain power is fear. By attacking us he is hoping for us to be afraid and give up. As if that would ever happen. The worst thing about the attack is the angels. They REEK of heaven. Its horrible. Here's a secret to why we are stronger. Their food is artificial. They have no soil so they can't plant. If he was to gain control over our territory and have access to our food supply then maybe they would be stronger. If they were to get our high tech weapons as well then and only then will there be a problem. That won't happen though. Very few know how to get into the storage room.**

"I think we know different Gods," decides Shashuko, who is, as she constantly writes as some sort of subliminal conversion message, is Mormon, "Because the God I follow-- oh, never mind. Separation of Church and fanfiction, right? Sorry. We all have our own beliefs and I don't want to disrespect others'."

**Hey I was wondering how the host club would feel about this. In the summer '07 issue of Animerica Hikaru and Kaoru were #8 in the top ten for "The Beautiful People". None of the other host club members were mentioned in the top ten. **

"But... but I'm the Host Club King!"

"No one cares, Tamaki. Yuki Sohma is popular at his school, but many people still ship Kyoru, right?"

"Hmm... KaguraxKyo." says Mori.

"I can believe that, too. I'm not picky when it comes to most character pairings. But, for instance, Sasuke with anyone else but Naruto scares me. Because he _doesn't like_ Sakura, who _doesn't like _Naruto. Why doesn't anyone get it? I wish Renge was here."

"Hyuugacest," decides Mori.

"Uchihacest," Shashuko replies as always.

"Hyuugacest."

The twins butt in. "Uchihacest all the way! Though we have no idea how two brothers could hate each other so much."

**Hikaru how do you feel when they say "Kaoru's a little wiser than his impetuous brother" This is probably why most people like Kaoru better. Also in the manga's character bio it was for Kaoru "handsome homosexual+ forbidden love between relatives+symmetry is his niche. Virgo." So is it true Kaoru? That your so called love act is in fact not an act at all?**

"It kinda annoys me..." Hikaru says under his breath.

"It says it's my niche because I'm good at acting it out," Kaoru replies, directing his answer towards Haruhi...

"I can see their point... the 'Carriage' thingy is kinda cool..." Haruhi notes.

**Here Shashuko a copy of Naruto vol.2.**

"Hakuness! Thanks! You didn't have to do that though, I was kinda joking..."

**Oh I have someone for you to meet. I believe you know who he is. Aarron appears in front of you with Haku You have a day to spend with him before I have to bring him back to the dead.**

"OMG I must me dreaming!" Shashuko squeals.

"Where am I? I though I was dead," the extremely hot bishounen says. "Didn't I die protecting Zabuza-san? And then I was dead... and Zabuza-san was there too in a few minutes... where am I now?"

"Haku-sama..." Shashuko has gone into otaku-shock and is staring into space, drooling slightly.

"Oh!" Haku says. "You're Shashuko, that girl to whom all those different dimensions are anime or manga! I'm Haku. Nice to meet you!"

"YOU KNOW MY NAME!" Shashuko snaps out of her otaku-shock and faints.

"Will she be okay?" Haku asks, leaning over her.

"She'll be okay. When she found out she could talk to anime characters, she glomped the first character she saw, who happened to be Masaya Aoyama from Tokyo Mew Mew. Ichigo almost killed her."

"She DID kill her. Mirai Trunks brought her back with the Dragonballs," the twins correct.

"No, that happened when she called the Saiyan Prince 'Veggie-chan'," Haruhi replies.

"Oh, yeah..."

"And also... why am I alive?"

"The next ruler of Hell brought you back because she loves this Q&A fic, in which Shashuko asks us questions."

"Oh, I see. I'm Haku!"

"I am Suouh Tamaki, and I am pleased to make your acquaintance!" Tamaki grabs Haku's hand gingerly and kisses it.

"Um, I'm straight," Haku says politely.

"I know," Tamaki replies, kissing Haku's hand again.

"Tamaki-sempai, I don't think that's what Haku _means--_"

"Oh, Haruhi! Why can't you be a polite girl like Haku?"

Shashuko, who the twins woke up by quoting Monty Python loudly in her ear, appears behind Tamaki, fire and brimstone flaming around her. "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HAKU-SAMA?!?"

"I called her a polite girl. Does that translate to something very rude in English?" Tamaki asks cluelessly.

"IT'S RUDE no matter WHAT language you say it in!" the angry blonde whips out a GIANT FAN with three green dots on it and uses it to blow Tamaki into the opposite wall.

"HAKU-SAMA'S NOT A GIRL!!!"

"Eek!" Tamaki whimpers. "Haku, have mercy!"

"Shashuko-san, maybe you're being a bit extreme." Haku places a hand on Shashuko's shoulder and her pretty much melts.

"Haku-sama... is right... sorry, Tamaki."

She takes out a piece of paper and a blue sharpie, writes _'Thanks, Temari-chan!' , _tapes it to the giant fan, and sends it through the portal.

"Speaking of which, DarkSpiritLords, I owe you big time! How long may I keep him?"

**Have fun.**

"We will!" Shashuko giggles. "Haku-sama, can I hug you?"

"Um, okay. Not too hard, though."

Shashuko gingerly hugs Haku lightly, then blushes faints.

"I thought that was Hinata's job," Haku remarks.

"How come she asks YOU permission?" Nekozawa grumbles.

"Because I only sorta like you because you're kinda hot. Haku-sama is perfect in every way! And he doesn't scare people."

**Oh please don't call me Spirit-Chan. It makes me feel holy. Can you call me Dark-Chan instead?**

"NO," says Shashuko. "After this incident, you are Dark-_**SAMA.**_"

Haku smiles one of his biggest CUTENESS RAYS at Dark-sama. "Really, thanks."

"Now!" Says Shashuko, still flustered. "The next review's from **Galciv12**."

**I have 3 questions:**

**Tamaki: if you Love Haruhi, why not just tell here? although she is clueless about this stuff**

"I... don't... LOVE... her like that! I'm her _Daddy!_"

"Oo, kinky," Shashuko says sarcastically.

"STOP THAT!"

"Is he always like this?" Haku asks Haruhi, sweatdropping.

"Only usually."

**Hikaru: same as Tamaki**

"I... don't... she's my and Kaoru's toy, nothing more!" Hikaru says unconvincingly.

"What kind of toy?" Shashuko retorts. "Answer the questions accurately, please!"

**Host Club (not including Haruhi): this is a romance anime does that mean that you all like Haruhi in some Romantic way?**

"NO, ne? Haru-chan is like a sister!"

_"A daughter!"_

"We'll admit we think she's cute... that's all we'll say!"

"... Maybe."

"Me, with that commoner? Don't be ridiculous!"

**- Galciv12**

"Hooray! A sign-off!" Shashuko giggles. "I don't even know if I was supposed to put that there! Ha! Okays, what does **ColorsOver** have to say this time?"

**I'm glad you liked my cake Hunny-senpai! You too Shashuko-san!**

"Thanks again, ne! It was really yummy!"

"That's all?" Shashuko looks miffed. "Ah, well... go,** Xx Tohru xXx Seraphina xX**, go!"

**Shaa-chan, I honestly loved this fic!! I really can't wait for more Please update soon! Xx Tohru x Seraphina xX**

"Honestly, if you have nothing to say, don't review at all!" the twins shout.

"You two obviously never write fanfiction," decides Shashuko.

"What of it?"

_"You could never possibly understand... what reviews mean to us fanbase authors and authoresses! Each review is a way that another person show their love for the writer's work... to shun one would be to shun their appreciation as a whole!" _

Shashuko completes this speech with bishie stars.

"Ha ha, you sound like Tono! But his word choicing is a little different... your impression needs work."

"That wasn't a Tamaki impression! It was _Ayame Sohma! He's much worse!_"

"Whatever."

"HEY! Now, to hear from our last reviewer! I summon **StainedGlassCuts**!"

"This isn't Yu-Gi-Oh!" say the twins.

**Hello Shashuko-chan!! O genki desu ka?**

"Hai, genki desu!"

**Ahem. on to business.**

**First off, I absolutely love this. You are extremely good at keeping the characters in well, character. I normally do not enjoy Ask Anime Character-type fanfics, but this is good.**

"Wow, that's such a compliment to get one from someone who doesn't usually read this sorta thing! Gee, thanks!"

**Anyway, First question/commenty-thing goes to Kaoru/Hikaru.**

**Now you two are my absolute favourite characters from Ouran High School Host Club. I love you equally. (On a side note, I believe people tend to like Kaoru more because Hikaru has Haruhi and poor Kao-chan is being left behind.)**

Hikaru's eyes widen and he blushes. "I don't... HAVE...!"

**Kaoru-How would you feel if Hikaru suddenly told you he and Haruhi were engaged? (Haruhi is not allowed to answer in any way.)**

As soon as it says that Haruhi's not allowed to answer, Hikaru covers her mouth and smirks.

"Hikaru... and Haruhi...? Engaged? I'd feel... left out."

"Ah, the pains of only doing something with your brother every other time," Shashuko says sarcastically.

**Hikaru-You are seemingly unaware of Kaoru's pain. How would you react if you found out Kaoru is sad because you like Haruhi? (And we all know you do)**

"I don't...!"

Shashuko rolls her eyes. "Okay, then, let's take this rhetorically. Let's just _say _you like Haruhi, and this hurts Kaoru inside. And you found out. What would you do and say? Don't tell us, just show us."

Hikaru turns to his younger brother.

"Kaoru, I'm sorry if you feel left out. But I love Haruhi in a way much different than the way I love you."

"Hikaru...! But, I thought...!"

"Listen. You are my brother, and there is a portion of my heart that will always belong to you, but there is another one that belongs to Haruhi. Do you understand?"

"Hikaru!"

The brothers embrace, and turn around to face Shashuko.

"That is, rhetorically speaking." they say, making . faces.

Shashuko falls over due to extreme yaoiness.

"Shashuko-san!" Haku pokes her. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. YAOINESS!" she jerks up.

**Kyouya-senpai. You bought your father's company at the end of the anime. Where did you get all that freakin' money?**

"Host Club profits," says Kyouya, making marks in his ledger o' doom. "Why do you think I'm always so stingy about it? Whatever we don't use, I get to pocket."

Shashuko goes over to see what Kyouya's doing in his ledger. "SUGOI!"

"Shashuko-san, you can see it later. I'm not done with it just yet," he says, slamming the ledger shut.

**Hunny-senpai you are so cute. This has been said before but you remind me very much of Momiji from Fruits Basket. Your question is... If you could never, ever see Takashi again, what would you do? Oh, and, here are some brownies I made for you. **

"Momiji is my alternate form in that dimension!" Hunny exclaims. "YAY! Brownies!"

Shashuko, walking past, calmly swipes one. "Wow, these are good!"

**Takashi. You are a very loved person I've noticed. Do fangirls annoy you? Also, the fact that you like Pokemon is so very awesome. Have you seen the latest season? They changed everyone's voices! It's so depressing... hides in Tamaki's 'Corner of Woe'**

"No... not annoying. Yes... depressing."

**Haruhi. You are so oblivious to the fact that everyone likes you it's painful to watch. Oh and, HikaruxHaruhi is currently my favourite couple that ISN'T yaoi. What do you think of that?**

"That's an interesting way of thinking," Haruhi notes.

"No! Haruhi, don't listen to that crazy woman!" Tamaki exclaims, "she's trying to ruin your innocence!"

"For all you know, StainedGlassCuts isn't a woman," Haruhi replies dryly. "Now let go of me."

**Tamaki I'm sorry but I find you extremely annoying. If you were slightly less dense and idiotic, I might like you. **

**But I can't deny you are handsome. **

**BTW, did you find your mother in France? I hope so! It's sad that you can't see her anymore.**

"Handsome? Me? I already _knew that, _but it's nice to hear all the same! Thank you! And as for my mother..." Tamaki rushes to his corner. "No..."

**Um... Wow this is long. Sorry Shashuko, but I had questions and comments for everybody! Including you. One, SasuNaru is one of the BEST yaoi couples ever. I love it. **

"I'll drink to that! Wait, I'm Mormon. Nevermind."

"I also agree," decides Haku.

"Hyuugacest?" Mori asks.

"No, Uchihacest!" Shashuko yells.

**Two, your Akatsuki is lovely!! I'm so jealous. (Even though I have a lifesize, metal Keyblade. Go Kingdom Hearts!!)**

"Thanks! I pulled more than fifty feet of weeds to save up for it, ya know. And, heh heh... Kingdom Hearts... do me a favor. Go to Youtube, and look of 'JAC the Village of DDR.' Seen it? Good. That's about all I know about kingdom hearts. But, that's awesome you got the keyblade! I bet it's super heavy! Can I borrow it to hit Tamaki with? Nevermind I'll just go ask Sora for the original. Or not."

**Three, What is your reason for liking Nekozawa-kun? Is it ONLY the badboy thing or is there something more? I presonally like the way he risked going into the light for little Kirimi!! So brave!**

"Yep, pretty much just the bad-boy thing... like I said, I like Haku-sama more!"

Haku sweatdrops. "I'm... I'm honored."

"No, you're not," Nekozawa corrects. "You haven't gotten to know her yet..."

**Wah!! I wanna see what's in Kyouya's ledger!! Stupid Beatles...**

Shashuko gasps.

_"You did not just say that." _She holds her hand out towards the portal and Temari's hand flies out. She takes it and brandishes it at the camer**a.**

**That is all.**

"You know why it's funny that you said that? That's end of the last review! Woohoot! Okay, Hosties can go home now. Nekozawa too."

The Ouran High Characters all file out, but come back in.

"We got attacked by some guy with a gourd full of sand," Haruhi says. "Set it back to our dimension, please."

"OH! Sorry!" Shashuko sends back Temari's fan and then resets the portal.

The Ouran High Characters all file out, but this time they DON'T come back in.

"Um, Haku?"

"Yes?"

"Well, you should probably just stay here until Dark-sama takes you back. 'Cause you're supposed to be dead. Also, the portal opens in Sunagakure (Sand Village) anyway. You wouldn't know anyone anyway."

"Oh? Okay. Hey, Shashuko? Could I answer questions next time? At least until Dark-chan comes?"

"Sure! If anyone is asked a question, I kinda have to have it answered. Unless it's not an Ouran character or not there. Or if I don't know the character because they're in a part of the manga I haven't read yet. Anyway, I don't wanna get my portal and my base taken from me and go back to being a normal girl stuck in my own dimension! That'd be boring. Make sense?"

"Not really. What do you mean by base?"

"This is my base! For dimension jumping. I can;t just go from one to the other. I gotta pass through here."

"What?"

"Nevermind. It's not important anyway."

"... Okay." Haku smiles cutely and Shashuko melts again.

When she re-solidifies, Shashuko turns to her friend the camera and winks. "Well! This was fun... I don't think I'll do another special though. So confusing! Plus I didn't get what was goin' on half the time-- no wait, that's normal." she frowns for a second, then brightens again. "If you wanna ask Haku-sama a question, you can! But only until Dark-sama takes him back. No idea how long that'll be, though. Probably pretty long! Also, I realize that I have no disclaimer. At all. Anywhere. Haku-sama, do the honors?"

"Okay. Shashuko, the Paisley Maiden, doesn't own Ouran High Host Club, its characters, Temari's fan, or me-"

"But I wish I did!"

Haku raises his eyebrows. "What?"

"I... I mean... Temari's fan is so cool!" Shashuko giggles. "It's all big and windy!" she thinks, _'Temari-chan's gonna kill me for using her fan as a cover... oh well. How can I not when it's so big?'_

Haku sweatdrops. "Anyway, Ouran High Host Club is Bisco Hatori's, and Naruto is Masashi Kishimoto's. Okay?"

"SQUEE! Well done! May I please hug you again?"

"Umm... okay..."

"THANK YOU!"


	8. HAKU!

"Shashuko?" Haku, sitting on the yellow easy chair asks, "Do you ever write fanfiction with me or Zabuza-san in it?"

Shashuko comes out of the portal with some lemonade and a plate of scones. "No, why?"

"I don't know." Haku shrugs. "I guess I was just curious."

"I could if you like, it's just that I don't think I'd do you justice. I always get nervous before drawing or writing about a character for the first time, I guess. If I don't draw them right, I feel bad about it."

"I think I can see where you're coming from," Haku notes. "Where are the snacks from?"

"Cafe Mew Mew again," Shashuko replies. "I find ordering and them taking to food and leaving is much easier than sitting and waiting. Also, I'm not supposed to bring you to any dimensions besides your own, this room, or mine, unless I get a Cross-Over license, which I haven't gotten yet."

"Oh, that makes sense. When are we seeing those people from Ouran again, by the way?"

Shashuko picks up a piece of paper with this chapter's reviews, and then grins evilly. "Right now!"

The remote comes out from under the couch cushion and flies into the waiting hands of Shashuko, who twirls it like a baton, drops it, picks it up, and summons Tamaki, Haruhi, Hikaru, Kaoru, Hunny, Mori, Kyouya, and Nekozawa.

"Hi guys! You remember Haku, right?"

Tamaki stares at Haku a moment. "Have I seen her before somewhere?"

Shashuko pulls Temari's fan out fo the portal and starts hitting Tamaki over the head with it. "Haku----sama----is----not-----a----girl!"

"Ow..." Tamaki rubs his head, and Shashuko sends the fan back, muttering something about summoning Gaara next time instead (sorry if any of you don't watch/read/like Naruto. Maybe I should stop mentioning it... or at least tone it down a little).

"Sorry Tamaki, but you kinda deserved that. Why is Haruhi in her underwear?"

"We were trying to get her into girlier clothes," the twins say. Shashuko glares at them.

"You... perverts... I'd hit you with Temari's fan, but that's for toturing Tama-teme... hmmm..." Shashuko reaches into the portal and pulls out a very sharp-looking double-bladed scythe thingy that says 'Hail Jashin' on it and swipes at them.

"Let that be a warning," she says before sending it back. "Oh crap... didn't just say I'd tone it down? Hmm... I know! Since no one knew any Beatles Music, I'm putting in Naruto references! Let's see who can find the most ones! Maybe this'll get all this mentioning-Naruto-stuff outta my system..."

"Here's hoping," say the twins.

"Troublesome..." Haruhi says under her breath. "The first review is from **icedemoness**."

**I love this story Shashuko-sama. You're very good at making the hosts act like themselves. I can't do that.**

"I'm getting that a lot... I must be doing something very right! Shower me with praise!" Shashuko laughs.

"Shashuko-san, have you been reading Fruits Basket Volume Four at night again...?" Haku asks worriedly.

"Nope! I've been reading Volumes Sixteen and Thirteen! We just bought them!" Shashuko squeals. "Wheee! Momo power!"

**Anyways I have a question for Kyouya-sempai. I was wondering if you had to take lessons to be so awesomely evil or does it just come naturally?**

Kyouya smirks. "I learned by watching Fruits Basket. Hiro Sohma is my role model."

Shashuko gasps. "You like Fruits Basket?"

"Only the parts with Hiro in it."

"Really?" Shashuko asks. "Hiro's my little sister's favorite character. Personally, I think he lacks hatred."

**Oh and, Uchihacest all the way!**

"YESSSH! Not that I read it (I'm new to the yaoi fanbase so I only read narusasu so far) By the way, that comment doesn't count as a Naruto reference. Fate has decided it. Also, it has been decided that this person didn't write anything else--- so! Now from **Xx Tohru xXx Seraphina xX**!"

**Shaa-chan, once again I say I love your fic it's amazing. And Weasley rip-offs [mind if I borrow that? don't say anything! And I do questions, dares and threats to a company the rest of this review.**

"You can borrow it," Shashuko says indifferently. "If everyone called them that, there would be a bit more truth in this deceiving world."

"Hey!" the twins say.

**Hikaru [&& Kaoru don't mess with me switches to evil mode it can be hazardous to your health. I am very well trained in the art of cussing and fighting, so watch you toes because if you over step the line...let's just not go there. You don't wanna mess wiht the little sister of a member of TT5, get me? switches back to nice mode**

"What's TT5? We don't care," reply the twins, who stick their tongues out at the reviewer and blows raspberries at the same time.

**Haruhi, how do you put up wiht three of the more annoying members glares at Tamaki, Hikaru [&& Kaoru of the club??**

"Sometimes, I'm not sure myself," the natural host sighs, glaring at said three annoying people."

**Kyouya, I dare you to be Shaa-chan's slave for 2 whole chapters. **

"No."

**If you don't, then you can either have to get up early everyday for a month [&& when I say early I mean 5 AM. **

**Or you can come here to London become my personal assistant.**

"No and no. I'm preparing to rule hell with Darkspiritlords, remember?"

"You mean Dark-sama," Shashuko says. "Remember, she brought Haku-sama here!"

"Not that he says much. Maybe this is an awkward position for him." Haruhi notes. "If I were suddenly whisked to some stranger's house, it would be odd for me."

"Haku-sama! Should I put you somewhere else 'till you have to go back!" Shashuko gasps. "I can if you want!"

Haku furrows his brows. "Actually, it's these guys that I find awkward," he says, pointing at Tamaki and the twins. "Especially because the blonde one has a hard time believing that I'm not a girl."

"Well, I always knew you were a guy!" Shashuko says (because when Shashuko first saw Haku, her friend told her he was a guy before Shashuko had time to think otherwise. At the time, Shashuko wasn't much of a Naruto fan. Then, when she saw Haku in the series later, she thought, 'oh yeah! He's a guy!moving on... omg he's so cute!')

**Shaa-chan, I just want to say that I think you're an amazing author [&& I love you story so much. Thank you for writing such an awesome fic!! bows down and takes a blessing from your feet I do this because as far as I'm aware it is a Hindu custom that shows great respect and love for the one who the blessing is taken from. **

**Please update soon! Xx Tohru x Seraphina xX**

"Yay Hindu! I almost moved to India once... and thank you for your respect and love! It feeds my superiority complex!!! And as for updating, I'm obviously working on that _right now! _Okay, now to read what **Galciv12** wrote!"

**Its me Again!!**

**I don't know if I can ask twice, but I will (has Kyouya's evil smirk)**

**Haruhi: because Hikaru's and Tamaki's answers were so "convincing", what do you think of them liking you in some Romantic way?**

Haruhi looks over to them. "I find that... slightly disturbing."

**jumps into story (while ignoring everybody's complaints) Haruhi will you go out with me? (hands Haruhi bouquet of red roses.)**

Haruhi turns to Galciv12. "Hnn... okay. Pick me up at six."

"Waaah! Haruhi nooooo!" Tamaki whines.

"Tama-teme, since you're not a part of Haruhi's love life, but out of it," Shashuko says darkly.

"I'm... not... a part of it?" Tamaki whines. He gets hit by a wave of sand from the portal as an answer. It squeezes him for a minute, then lets go.

Shashuko sticks her head into the portal and yells, "Thanks Gaa-chan! I owe you one!" Then, she pulls her head back and giggles madly. "Sand everywhere... hehe. Sand! Sand! Hahahahahaha!!!"

"What so funny about sand?" Haku asks.

"Hahaha!" Shashuko answers. "The same thing that makes the Bermuda Triangle funny! Hehehehehe... anyway, the next review is from **Princessstephanie**."

**Very awesome idea for a fic! You can help me with a very tough decision! Thank you! grins**

**Haruhi, if for some reason you were in a haunted house with the host club and then for some reason you had to live with Kaoru, Hikaru, Tamaki, and Kyouya with a possibility of being pregnant with any of their kid... who would you want it to be? Please answer and don't act dense! I really need to know what you would want!**

"What does the haunted house have to do with anything?" Haruhi asks. "And... between them... Kyouya. He's scary, but the other three are _annoying_. But only between them. Only."

Kyouya says nothing to this answer, ubt he starts scribbling furiously in his ledger.

"Oh! It says helping you with a very tough decision! Is this for a ficcy? Oh! Oh! I want to read!!!" Shashuko giggles. "Okays, now **Crazy-Gemini124**!"

**Wow, how did you know? Well you were right. i had no questions for Tama-chan at the time. (I shocked my self there!)**

"I must be psychic! I shock myself too sometimes!" Shashuko says in a deep voice, imitating Ayame Sohma. "I am just too wonderful for words! Ha ha ha!"

**any who...uh. I need think for a minute**

**5 hours later Ah!**

**For starters. **

**Tama-chan: I was reading Vol. 1 of Ouran and i was wondering, How could an afterburn be amazing? I burn my tounge and it hurts for weeks! (speaking of which i burnt my tounge while typing this. ARGGH!!)**

"I meant the after burn was amazing because the kind of coffee I usually drink has next to none at all!" Tamaki says victoriously.

"That sounds like something a certain tourist would say," Shashuko notes. "Hey people! Read Discworld! Light Fantastic, Thud, Color of Magic, Guards, Guards! Reaper Man! All very funny! Go for it!" she shouts, waving said Terry Pratchet books around.

**Hunny-sempai: Sorry, no sweets this time. But, Is your dad okay? I mean, after ya kicked his butt and all.**

"Touchan is okay! Don't worry! No sweets?" Hunny makes a puppy dog face.

"Oh, okay!" Tamaki gives Hunny a piece of candy.

**For Everybody: Does anybody play sports? Just out of Curiosity. (sp?)**

"I was never very good at things like that..." Haruhi sighs.

"I invented the Starlight Kick during my very first soccer game!" Tamaki says jubilantly.

"We played basketball in Renge's video, but that's about it..." reply the twins.

"Kendo," says Mori.

"I do karate and judo!" says Hunny happily, sucking on the candy Tamaki gave him earlier.

"I don't have time for sports," Kyouya says, writing something down in his notebook.

**2: What's everybody's favorite tea?**

"Anything sweet!" Hunny says.

"I like darjeeling..." says Haruhi.

"We'll drink anything as long as we share..." say the twins.

"Ginseng," replies Mori.

"I like black tea!" shouts Tamaki.

"Anything expensive..." says Kyouya.

**Mori: Ahem, Uchihacest. It's final.**

Shashuko sighs. "Mori, you lack..."

"Hatred?"

"That too, but I was going to say 'common sense.' UCHIHACEST!"

**Well, that's it for now. If you don't mind, I'm going back to my tea and Cat Needle (XD I need to get away from Inuyasha for a while.)I mean, Cup of noodle aka Ramen.**

"CUP RAMEN!" Shashuko shouts. "Don't you hate the three minute wait for those? Now, lessee what **DarkSpiritLords** has to say!"

**Shashuko you were suppose to keep Haku for only a day but right now I'm in San Francisco so you can keep him until August 27th. I don't feel like bringing him back just yet. Oh if any ghosts come looking for him just show them the whistle I gave you and tell them to track me down. Don't tell them I'm in San Francisco(hee-hee I wan't to annoy them a bit cause its boring here.) If they try anything blow the whistle.**

"I understand. August 27th... got it!" says Shashuko.

**Umm...Tamaki...i don't like you but I guess you have the right to know. In the manga version vol.10 your dad said that he could have arranged it for you to see your mother all this time. You were asleep during that time so you didn't hear. Still don't like you. My bro says you're gonna be emo. Don't get this wtong though I like emo. Just Tamaki is too dramatic. **

"Whaaat? My father... he did that?" Tamaki starts crying.

Shashuko shakes her head. "That guy just doesn't know when to stop messing with you, does he, Tama-teme? Oh! Emo Tamaki! Hahahahah! Mental Image! Too funny!"

**Kaoru you never answered my question. Bye guys.**

"Which question?" Kaoru asks.

"I'd go back and look where he forgot, but I'm too lazy," says Shashuko. "And thanks again, Dark-sama, for lending me Haku-chan! Not that anyone probably cares... that's all for this review. Okay, now for the review of **bringme2life**!"

**HI! I luv your fanfic. you keep every body in character. **

**Now on ot my questions:**

**Haruhi, why are so oblivious? and come on, even my five year old cousin can tell that most of the host club is falling for you. and i was'nt that as a figure of speech. and now that i established taht everybody (except Mori and Hunny) likes as a girlfriend, what do you think about them liking you?**

"That's almost exactly the same as Galciv12's question!" gasps Shashuko.

Haruhi sighs. "I still find it disturbing... please stop asking."

"What was that?" asks Tamaki, sobbing.

**and this one is for Tamaki: Why can't you realize that you like Haruhi as a gf? I mean everybody else realized it (in the anime) except Haruhi. **

"I don't! Haruhi is my daughter!"

"Whatever, Tama-baka-teme," Shashuko says, shaking her head.

**and i just want to say this. I seriously wanted the two of you to get together as the end of the anime. I mean you can so see the connection.**

Haruhi stares at the review screen. "What?"

"Your support is appreciated!" Tamaki says jubilantly.

"I thought she was your 'daughter', you creep," Shashuko laughs.

**and Kyouya what do you think about your father wanting you to marrying Haruhi? ...considering that you were one of the first oes to see the love Tamaki has for as a gf. this is for Tamaki too. oh, **

"I wouldn't want to marry a commoner... but, on the other hand, she would be a great asset... as for Tamaki, if my father doesn't tell me to make advances, he can have her..."

"Make... advances?" Haruhi asks, eye twitching.

Shashuko pulls a giant shuriken out of the portal and throws it at him. Kyouya dodges, so Shashuko pulls it out of the wall he stuck it in and throws it back to whence it came from.

**and Hikaru what would you do if Tamaki and Haruhi got together, since yu like her like her?**

"I... would... KILL..."

"Red haired and psycho... what does this remind me of?" Shashuko says sarcastically.

**and can jump through the portal and hug Tamaki? cuz i really don't see why people hate him cuz he's my favorite character. then it's Kyouya. LUV YOU KYO-CHAN! **

"Go ahead." Haruhi says, glaring at the King Pervert.

**and i kow that this is long but bear with me please.**

"And you say this now instead of earlier because...?" asks Haku politely.

**Hunny, how did you figure out that Tamaki and Hikaru fell for Haruhi? and that Kyo-chan or Kaoru were starting to have feelings for her? cuz in one episode you said this to Mori.**

"Ne, ne, it was obvious to me since the day we met her! Tama-chan acted so nice, Kyou-chan keeps scaring her in a teasing way, and Hika-chan and Kao-chan keep just plain teasing her! Get it?"

**and i luv HOST CLUB! and one more thing. can I please be in your fanfic?**

"So... many... requests... I'll try, but I need charry descriptions! Okay? Also, I will not, I repeat NOT pair you guys with the hosts... because that ain't fair. Kapiche? Ah, that's all for this review (Inner Shashuko: HELL YES IT'S OVER!). Now, lessee what **ColorsOver** has to write this time..."

**Gah. I'm sorry did I not write enough?!?! **

**brings more cookies to make up for it**

**Honey-sempai: Hi honey! Hi usa-chan! **

"Hiya!" Hunny says cheerfully.

**Shashuko-san: Your ayame impression was brilliant by the way. I am "showing my love for your work" heheh. You will have to teach me how to do such wonderful bishie eyes. **

"I've sometimes picked up anime character's habits like that... bet if I keep watching Shippuuden I'll start saying 'un' at the end of every sentence."

**BTW, I love tamaki's nickname**

"Thank you! I have a knack for nicknames. Tamaki is: Tama-boy, Tama-baka, Tama-Teme, Tama-baka-teme!"

"You like giving people nicknames too?" Hunny asks, smiling.

"Yes, yes I do. By the way WHAT THE HECK? Why are you Hunny and not Mitsu-kun? If someone's name has chi, ku, or san in any syllable but the first, you use that!"

"So, for instance, Hikaru would be Hi-kun?" Haruhi asks.

"By default, yes, but Hikkun sounds cuter, so that'd be it."

**To All of the host club: I dunno if this question has been asked yet or not... What are you personal favorite animes or mangas? Hikaru, Kaoru, do you like the same ones or do your tastes differ?**

**Over and out **

**Colorsover!**

"Authoresses' rule: You can't say your own manga!"

Haruhi sighs. "Troublesome... well, I like Death Note or any good detective manga, really..."

"We like Ring Finger!" say the twins (a/n: Ring Finger, which you might not know, is a yaoi manga... I haven't read it yet, but it sounds good and is highly recommended by a friend on Gaia!)

"Digi Charat!" says Hunny, hopping up and down.

"Pokemon..." Mori mumbles.

"Fruits Basket," say Kaoru.

"Ranma 1/2," says Hikaru at the same time.

"A boy who reads Ranma?" Shashuko stares at Hikaru for a second. "PERVERT! Well at least Kaoru likes something better. But why Fruits Basket?"

"I like the comparisons and notes on human nature," says Kaoru.

"Is that what fueled the Great Pumpkin Theory?" Shashuko gasps.

"Maybe..." says Kaoru, looking away.

Nekozawa cackles evilly. "I like... Bizenghast!"

"Neko-chan, you ain't a Host. Or has that changed?" asks Shashuko evilly.

"I'm from the series, though, aren't I? Also, no one seems to have mentioned me yet."

"Good point..." says Shashuko. "In that case... Haku! Which ones do you like?"

"Me? Well, Zabuza-san had manga, but he said was too young to read it... his little orange book too. Even though he said it was just a bingo book..."

"Gah! Dark-sama, if you're reading this, find Zabuza and confiscate his nasty books! And congratulate him on protecting Haku's innocence!"

"I never said I didn't read it," Haku points out.

"Ha-haku... you...?"

Haku nods. "I don't get why he hid it though. There's nothing nasty in Sailor Moon."

Shashuko stares at Haku for a minute, then starts laughing. "HAHAHA! Never mind, Dark-sama! Haha! Okay... haha... I need to stop laughing... ha! Yays... now for... ahahahahaha! **Chibiharu-chan**!"

**sha-chan:-changes into an adorable little chibi with black hair and purple eyes-yay I'm consider a good friend !xD -glomps sha-chan and gives her half of my cookie stash(which means I gave you 100,0,0 cookies x3) and 10 cups of ramen from my ramen stash-**

Shashuko's eyes light up at the cookies. Then, she picks up the ramen.

"Um... Chibiharu-chan? I'm vegetarian..." she says, sweatdropping.

Then, Shashuko smiles. "I know who likes Ramen!" She enters the portal and comes back a few minutes later, clearly winded and clothing rumpled.

"Can't. Breath. Hugged. Too. Hard." she sits down in a chair and starts munching on a cookie. "Dang! Fox. Brat..." Shashuko falls asleep.

**haru-chan:sowy for making you faint**

"It's okay," says Haruhi.

**kyo-teme:fine I won't threaten you anymore now give me back my panties -thinking:and as soon as you do I shall kick your butt to jupiter (insert slightly evil chibi laughter here)-**

"NO." says Kyouya.

"Good thing Shashuko's not up or she'd taunt you... incessantly," Haruhi says.

"Since she's out, let's do that for her!" say the twins. "Kyouya is a pervert! Kyouya is a pervert!" they chant.

**mori-sempai: how come you like hyuugacest?/ -confuse- **

**isn't that neji/hinata pairing or neji/hanabi pairing? I for one agree with sha-chan long live uchihacest x3 **

"I like it... because..." he looks at Hunny and quickly looks away.

Shashuko sits up groggily. "Cousins. Romance. Possible. Hope." she yawns and falls back asleep.

"Takashi is it true?" Hunny asks. "You like it 'cause it's cousins like us?"

"Umm..." Mori says.

"Does that mean you hate me like Neji hates the branch family?" the loli-shota sobs.

Mori starts shaking his head violently (think Kasanoda arc-- 'Takashi, are you using me?').

**the twinnies: ne sorry if you guys don't like twinnies but that what me and my friend call each other so I decided to call you guys that too x3 and how come you think you guys are more like your dad than your mom?/ you guys clearly act and look alot like you mom you know **

"They say that? When?" Shashuko yawns. "I never saw the twinnies' dad-- sorry!"

"We said it in the manga, obviously. And we said it because our Dad is the one who plays pranks and messes with people..." say the twins. (a/n: I have no idea what the twinnies' dad is like. if what they said is OOC you have my apology...)

"Maybe it's like how Hana-chan from Fruits Basket says she doesn't look like Megumi even thought they do," says Shashuko.

**sha-chan:oohh since you can portal jump to any anime can you try to get momiji into the show so hunny-sempai and momiji can finally meet face to face??xD**

"Yay! I'm gonna see Momiji!" squeals Hunny as Chibiharu-chan comes through the portal.

Soon enough, Sohma Momiji comes through the portal and flies into the couch. "Wheee! Hi Shashuko-chan! Is there a problem in my dimension or something?"

"No, I routed out the last of them no problem. All is well. Actually, I just want you to meet someone."

"Really? Who is it who is it?"

Shashuko pulls out Hunny from the large group of people. "Momiji-chan, this is Hunny-sempai! Who I'm going to call Mitsu-kun if that's okay?" she asks the small blonde who_ isn't_ cursed.

"It's okay!" says Hunny.

Shashuko's eyes get big. "Oh! Oh! Hunny-sempai! Er, Mitsu-kun! Watch this!" she holds her arms out towards Momiji. "Momi-chan, may I..?"

"No 'cause I will first!" Momiji hugs Shashuko, who makes a squee face (which looks like this: u )

POOF

Of course, when the smoke clears, Shashuko is holding a bunny. A very cute bunny.

"Wow!" says Hunny. "How d'you do that, ne? Tell me Momi-chan, tell me!"

"I'm cursed! Whenever a girl hugs me, I turn into this! But when I turn back, I'm nude. Shashuko, can I hide behind the sofa with my clothes now?" Momiji says happily as always.

"Oh! Right... sorry! I forgot about that part." SHashuko hands Momiji his clothes and he hides behind the sofa. a few minutes later, there's another POOF and Momiji comes back out.

"Well, nice to meet you, Mitsu-kun! Let's play later!" Momiji waves as he leaves through the portal.

"Okay! Bye bye, Momi-chan!" Hunny waves back.

"So... much... cuteness... AAH MOE OVERLOAD!!!" Shashuko's eyes turn red and smoke starts coming out of her ears.

The twins pour cod water on her and she wakes up. "Thankies!" says Shashuko cheerfully.

**(god I feel like I neglecting hunny-sempai for not asking him any questions -has big teary eyes-)**

**and ja ne !x3-changes back from chibi mode-**

"Bye bye!" say Shashuko and Hunny at the same time.

"Wow," says Shashuko. "That was so cute! Now, from **KitaxHaku**--- _hey what's with that pen name!!!" _she yells the last part.

"Calm down, Shashuko," Haku says evenly.

**Kita here! **

**I have a question for the twins (who are by the way the real bad boys in my opinion)!**

**Have you ever read the oc stories about the two of you? If so, how do you feel? If not...show them Mrs. Author of the month! **

"Mrs. Author of the month, huh? We'll see..." say the twins. "I don't think Shashuko wants to talk right now..."

"She's reminding me of that pink-haired girl who was with Naruto and Sasuke," Haku thinks aloud.

"WHAT? SAKURA?!? I'M NOT LIKE HER!!! Oh gosh, I am... I am so sorry! I will be less like Forehead girl from now on! ... Such is my pledge!" Shashuko rants. "Sorry, sorry, KitaxHaku... I guess I'm a jealous person is all... yeah, I need to work in that. My bad!"

and for honey-sama another fan made cake. Mori-chan can have some too! smile smile

"I'm a sama! I'm a sama! And this cake is really good!" cheers Hunny.

"...-chan?" Mori asks, taking a bite.

"Wow!" says Shashuko, stealing a crumb from the cake platter, "Why was I mad at you again? This cake is de-lish!"

"Hyuugacest," decides Mori.

"Uchihacest," Shashuko replies as always.

"Hyuugacest."

**Screw you two. Sandcest. KankuGaa forever. I'm writnig one actually where Gaara turns into a girl...it's called 'Once a Month' but it's not out yet. Be sure to stop by sometime and read it!**

"Haha! Gaara the girl!!! Hmm KankuGaa... I can't see them as a couple. Well, when you write this tell me, 'cause I wanna see it! Gaara as a girl... lol." For the fun of it, Shashuko looks up Patty Simmons and read the oneshot titled 'My homosexual boyfriends'...

"HAHAHAH! Poor Ino... everybody go read ths NOW it roxxors! Thank you."

**Enough about my life problems! Okay, question for everyone except Kyouya. If each one of you were to describe him in one adjective ONE adjective what would it be and WHY?**

"Scary... because he scares me," decides Haruhi.

"Evil... he's going to take over the world someday," say the twins on monotone.

"Kyou-chan is... a... mastermind! He's so smart, ne?" decides Hunny.

"Valedictorian... first in class," is Mori's answer.

"Gay! Obvious answer," Shashuko says.

"I think Kyouya is... smart?" asks Haku. (you said everybody!)

"I think Kyouya is... dark! His black aura is simply vicious..." replies Nekozawa.

"KIND! Kyouya-kun is the kindest person I know!" exclaims Tamaki.

Everyone stares at the King. Of course, he is completely oblivious to this fact.

"_Teme_ki here is an idiot. So what else is new?" Shashuko scoffs.

"The next review is from Mieko Miyazaki?" offers Haku.

**(jumps through portal)**

**"Yo peeps! It's Mieko and Rieko here!" The twins start dancing around the room, arm in arm. "Sorry, Shashuko, the jingle's off because we couldn't find a word that rhymes with 'Shashuko'."**

**"I've got one! How about 'mashuko'?" Rieko slaps her fist onto her palm.**

**"Great, here's the jingle!" Mieko pulls down a large white screen while Rieko conjures up a projecter.**

**"Shashuko! Mashuko!"**

**"That's all we've thought of. Forgive us," Rieko apologizes.**

"You have been forgiven!" Shashuko says in a deep voice, "Because of the springtime of your youth!!!"

**"Anyway, now that we're two people, we can double-glomp Mori!" Mieko is struck by a horrifingly brilliant idea.**

**The two double-glomp Mori.**

Mori's face begins to very slowly turn blue.

"Some reviewers are so evil," Shashuko sighs.

**"We've got no questions, mainly because... we can't think of any. We just wanted to dare our favourite Host Club characters!" They both draw up a list.**

**What the list consists of:**

**Tamaki - Kiss Haruhi! And a proper one! (insert doodle here)**

"Haruhi! I must do the dare!"

"NO." Haruhi holds Tamaki away by squishing her hand to his face.

Shashuko starts laughing.

**Mori - Do a stupid dance for my camera while lip-synching to the opening of Ouran! (insert hearts and more hearts)**

"C'mon Mori, we all know-haha- you dance great. Just-- hahahaha- do it!" Shashuko pleads, for the sake of hilarity, while laughing.

"No."

"Do it for -haha- Mitsu-kun?" Shashuko hold up Huny, who is using his best puppy dog eyes.

"... Fine."

Shashuko, still laughing, pushes a button in the wall and the song starts playing. Mori starts dancing.

_Kizukeba itsudemo soba ni irukeredo_

_Honto wa kirai? Suki? Mosou nano?_

_Suki ni natteku riyuu wa minna _

_Chigauyone kedo..._

_MAYBE YOU'RE MY LOVE! Aitai ima!_

_Yasashii Kimi ni SAKURA KISS tokimeitara_

_Ranman koi shiyou! Mirai yori mo _

_Ima ga kanjin uruwashi Haru no koi wa..._

_Hanasaku otome no... bigaku!_

_MAYBE YOU'RE MY LOVE!_

_MAYBE YOU'RE MY LOVE! aitai ima!_

"HAHAHAHAHA!" says Shashuko as Mori stops dancing and gets as far away form Mieko and Rieko as he can.

**Hani - Grow fat and stay that way for two chapters! (insert face with tongue sticking out)**

"I don't wanna be fat!" Hunny whines.

Shashuko may be having a laughing seizure.

**Hitachiins - Change your bad personalities to the rainbow pony-loving girls you are! (insert the katakana for ufufufufufu)**

"We don't know what you're talking about! We don't like stupid ponies!" say the twins very unconvinclingly.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" says Shashuko.

**Kyouya - Drink milk and leave the mustache on for this chapter! (insert... nothing)**

"Why would I do a thing like that?"

"HAHAHAHAHA! You did it in the -HAHAHA- manga!"

"Only in the author's short at the end-- I don't really do stuff like that!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! C'mon, everyone does stuff like that ay least _some _time in their life! HAHAHAHAHA!"

**Shashuko - Laugh at all of them repeatedly while they act stupid. But not so much at Mori.**

"I did it HAHAHAHAHA! FEAR MY -HAHA- LAUGHTER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"

"We're afraid, all right," say the twins.

Shashuko stops laughing and glares them.

**"That's all! By the way, Shashuko, as thanks for publishing our reviews again and again, a life-size wax figure of Nekozawa will be sent to your house with over twenty inter-changable heads! But don't try dropping one on your foot, it's as heavy as a bowling ball,"**

"Okay... that's... interesting..." Shashuko says slowly. "And what would I do with them? Neko-chan, you can have them for voodoo or something of you like..."

"Oh that's right, she's not Nekozawa-obsessed anymore. Now it's Haku-san she's obsessed with," notes Haruhi, who is still pushing away Tamaki.

"Obsessed...?" says Haku.

"Yeah..."

"That's... awkward..." Haku decides.

**Both the twins merge into one, then liquify and seep through the floorboards.**

Shashuko looks down to where the twins seeped through the floor.

"Umm... MiekoRieko? That's Vegetasei down there... CRAP!" She jumps into the portal and comes out later looking very tossled and holding a KO'd Mieko Miyazaki. She shakes Mieko awake and tosses her back to her own dimension.

"Need... shower... DANG... saiyans..." Shashuko

"You fought a saiyan?" gasps Hunny.

"No, Goku fought a saiyan, he owed me a favor..._ I_ tripped down and fell on a dead saiyan's armor, while carrying Mieko on my back. Do you know how hard that stuff is? Plus it smells down there... sigh Haku, I'm gonna go take shower... please handle question for me?"

"Okay, Shashuko-san," Haku replies. "This review is from **Nao Hashiba**..."

Haku reads the review.

"Umm... wait... I think Shashuko has to take this question..."

Everyone waits for Shashuko until she comes out of the bathroom, wearing a white yukata. "My Akatsuki cloak!" she sobs. "All torn up! Stupid evil monkey aliens... grrrr... sigh Well... I'll just kill Tobi. Then I'll have an unlimited supply of Akatsuki cloaks! Muhahahahaa! What's the review say, Haku?"

**Um...Im Nao &...earlier in chap 2 I think..you said you had no awards for your trophy case...so umm...I wanted to give you this.holds up hand-made award,covered in glitter...**

**Its for being the best "ask the character" author ever...I um hope you like it,becouse I think your really really cool.**

**has huge sparkly chibi eyes**

"WOW..." Shashuko says, imitating the 'eyes of Nao-chan.' "This... is... so... SQEEE! THANK YOU!!! You even remembered the trophy cabinet thingy! YOU ROCK!!!"

Shashuko hugs Nao and puts the ooh, sparkly trophy in the middle of her top shelf.

After one more squeeze, Shashuko turns to the next review.

"Okay! Anon review from **puddingchannanoda**. Hey! Wait a second..."

**hello, mysterious shashuko, coughdianna-chancough. escuse me, there must be something in my throat , DIANNA. ha ha ha i have reveiled your true identity, na no da!**

"Hello cough Stephanie cough," says Shashuko. "You have revealed my true identity! That's right, my real name is Dianna O.o... Everyone, this is my friend Stephanie... if you read my other Ouran ficcy, her name is also Koshou Arakawa... she kicks butt! Pudding is her nickname."

**now it is up to me to stop writing you a review for you fanficcy which i haven't read much of yet and pry you away from my ouran manga books which you happen to be reading in my room at this moment.**

"When she wrote that, she didn't know that I was reading her Ouran books. She guessed," says Shashuko.

"What part were you reading?" ask the twins.

"The part with Kasanoda-kun in it."

**i'll review you again sometime, na no da! n, mint? you still owe me a cookie, cough up na no da!**

"Ah, yes, from a certain Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfiction which I discontinued and took off of the site. I said if anyone finished a parody I was writing, they'd get a cookie. Stephie here finished it for me, and I owe her a cookie now... and she won't take virtual like a good girl! I now owe her a REAL cookie... the next review is another anonymous one from **iknowwhereyoulive**--- Stephanie!"

**hello, shahsuko. be afraid. be very afraid. **

"I'm afraid," says Shashuko, backing away from the review screen, "What did I do this time? Did I forget another Harry Potter line?"

**also i wanted to ask, so you can answer in front of the whole wide world, what the name of your teddy bear is. (the one you bring over and hug too much)bwah hah hah hah! (note: i know where you live.)**

"How is that an evil question?" asks Tamaki (who is still being held away from Haruhi, by the way), sweatdropping.

"Because... its name..." mutters Shashuko, "Is... Kuma-chan..."

"That's the same name as mine!" says Tamaki jubilantly. "You were copying me!"

"Actually, its name is Kuma-chan because 'kuma' means bear... I found out it had the same name as yours later. Yeesh, Tama-teme, get a life. Now, another anon review from IAMTHEWALRUS! _Stephanie!!!"_

**i like bothering you this way, shashuko/dianna-chan. TO READERS/REVIEWERS: you should know that this praised 'shashuko the paisley maiden' owes me a cookie. all in favor of shashuko GIVING me this cookie-(non virtually, thanks very much dianna)-review to shashuko's fic saying "stephy gets cookie! stephy gets cookie!" that would be funny. shashuko, tell me if any actually follow these sad instructions. **

**MaD sMiLeY pOwEr!1!1!1!!**

_"It's just a cookie! Why are you making such a big deal?!?"_ Shashuko half-yells. "Sigh... deeps breaths Shashuko, deep breaths." (yes, she actually _says_ the word 'sigh'.)

"Thankfully, the next review is not from Shashuko's friend Stephanie, but from **neriamisia**," says Haruhi, who accidentally stops pushing Tamaki away and gets a BIG OL' KISS on the lips.

"Mmph!"

Tamaki pulls away, bleeding somewhere internally.

"Haruhi! Why'd you bite my tongue?" he whines.

"Because I didn't want you to kiss me!"

"There, Chibiharu-chan! I did the dare!" announces Tamaki.

"Oh, so that's what that was about... anyway, to the question of neriamisia, which we all seem to have forgotten!"

**Hi again it is I, the crazy Otaku person. Hunny-kun I don't mean to frighten, only warn. Eating so much sweets now is dangerous because you might get DIABEATES later so be careful ok? hugs Here is an extreme dental kit so you don't get a cavity again. I'm depending on you o responsible Taka-kun to make sure Hunny stays healthy.**

"I won't catch diabetes! I exercise it all off!!!" Hunny says joyfully. "I spar my dad all the time!!! I always win!"

"I don't envy your dad, then," Haku says politely (that's how he does everything, SQUEEE!).

**Neko-kun, what is your favorite form of magic (other than black voodoo curses)? I like scrying, illusions, and shapeshifting as I am the best grey mage of all. My owl's name is Yeshwarlyka**

"Illusions, because they scare people so easily without taking as much magical power as summoning actual demons," Nekozawa says evilly.

**Just wondering what type of music do you specialize in of course Tama-kun plays the piano but what else? I'm guessing Kyou-kun and Hunny-kun play the flute, Haruhi probably plays the violin or oboe, Taka-kun plays the cello or base, twins play alto and tenor saxophone, Renge sings, Neko-kun plays the piccolo or clarinet. Tell me if I guess right.**

"I play the tuba!" announces Hunny. "Not the flute!"

_"WE_ play the flute!" say the twins.

"Wii don't care," says Shashuko, to the amusement of maybe Stephanie and no one else.

"I sneak into local churches at night and play the organ," replies Kyouya.

"I was never any good at music... but, in the third grade, I played recorder," says Haruhi.

"Triangle," states Mori.

"I play the violin... its haunting tunes can frighten anyone. I'm also fairly good at piano playing, but not anywhere near as good a Suoh-san," says Nekozawa.

"I have a violin, a piano, and two guitars-- one electric, one acoustic-- and I can't play any of them!!!" shouts Shashuko. "Now we have an anon review from youknowwho--- that's right, Stephanie's afraid to type Voldemort._ STEPHANIE!!!"_

**i assume no one had found the beatles references yet. can I...? **

**YAY! (assuming you said yes. :) )**

"Why would I say no to you, Stephanie? Especially after you annoy me almost as much as that time you were going on about how many more petpets you had-- CURSE YOU!!!" Shashuko says this giving a smiley - face, but you can still tell she's mad-- think Angry Yuki Sohma-- haha.

**tomorrow**

"Gotcha! You missed one!" sings Shashuko.

_---- Flashback to Chapter 5---_

_"Thanks for letting us come early," offer the twins._

_"Any time," Shashuko says, "What's next?"_

_"We're thinking of screwing him into the ground."_

_"And filling him in with al the sins he'll see?" Shashuko asks, wide-eyed._

_"Something like that."_

_----- End Flashback ----_

"Hullo? Song: Love to You! Album: Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (I think)--

'_There's people standing round_

_Who'll screw you in the ground_

_And fill you in with all the sins you seeeeeee...'_

"HAHA I have defeated the Kickbutt Stephanie! Muhahahaha!"

**ah well!**

**that was nice to getou t of my system!**

**you still owe mes a cookie!**

"Yes, yes Stephanie, I heard you the first time cough _seventhgrade _cough _bikeracks_ cough _waytoolongtobegforacookie _cough.Anyway, I thank you for finding all of them except for one --- in which the lines were a little too twisted anyway--- and for even correcting my mistakes! Thank you very much! Now from **You Know Who**--- Stephanie, fear of a name creates fear of the thing itself. ALSO! Last review. YESSHHH!"

**he-llo, shashu-ko, i know something you don't know!**

**well not really but it sounded cool. **

**anyway, i finally found a question to ask! YAY! **

"Finally being the key word there," says Shashuko.

**other than panties, what's kyoya's weakness? and not something small, something really stupid. (i seem to remember some other kyoya weakness, but i'm asking for ANOTHER ONE! yay!**

"Bras," says Kyouya as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Shashuko starts laughing like a hyena.

**ph33r da t1nn1 w3z31. h33 b1735.**

_"Translation: Fear the tiny weasel. He bites._ Also, he pukes up slugs. And needs a new wand," Shashuko says. "Hooray for Harry Potter! To all of those who haven't read Book Seven because they're reading this, WHAT THE HELL?!? READ BOOK SEVEN! I ORDER YOU AS AN AUTHORESS!!!"

"That's the last review. Can we go now?" ask thw twins.

"Okay, okay. Host Club Characters out!" says Shashuko. "We all know you want to leave, so leave."

The Host Club Characters all run out.

Haku stares at the swirling portal for a minute. "So, Shashuko, Haruhi said you were... um, obsessed with me?"

"Ah! She said that?" Shashuko grumbles. "Ah, well, the truth is... yes?"

"Okay." Haku continues staring at the portal.

Insert Long, Awkward Silence Here

"Shashuko?"

"Yes, Haku?"

"This is awkward."

"Yep. Can I hug you now? I only get you for two more weeks."

"Okay..."

"Oh! I just thought of something! Since Stephanie has revealed my true identity, should I just go by Dianna now?" Shashuko asks.

"Hmm... let's let the readers and reviewers decide that." Haku replies.

"Okay then! 'Till next time, folks! Sorry if dragging Haku into half the situations is annoying you, but he's SO CUTE! But I'm sorry. Especially if you're Stephanie, who doesn't like Naruto that much... I guess either you like it, or you don't, just like my mom said. Bye bye! Sayounara! Ja na!"

"Bye!" says Haku.

----- camera goes off air----

---- hey, this is off air! don't you have anything better to do? go read book seven! ---


	9. I Deleted This Chapter By Accident

Shashuko furiously typing at a yellow laptop. "Woot! Naruto fanfiction! Lessee if this totally sucks!"

Haku looks over her shoulder. "Umm, Shashuko-san?"

"Yes, Haku-chan?"

"Isn't that the document for this chapter which you;ve already answered ten questions for?" the kawaii brown-haired boy.

"... Oh. Oops."

"I thought so."

"WAAAH! I'll have to start all over!" Shashuko rushes to he couch. "Where'd I put that remote?"

"Umm... Shashuko-san, you're holding it in your right hand."

"...Oh." Shashuko laughs at her own stupidity. "HAHA! Anyway, we've gotta hurry! I've been slacking fro sooo long! And now I've gotta start over... WAAAH! Okay calm down. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I'm not telling you the Naruto references unless they're mentioned! I'm too busy to find them all right now!"

Shashuko points the remote at the swirly portal with her shaking hands and the host club come out of it, much faster tha usual. They hit the opposite wall.

"OMG I'm sooo sorry! But we gotta hurry since I accidentally deleted the first ten questions!" says the crazy authoress frantically.

"AGAIN?!?" moan the twins. "Amerikajin, you gotta stop doing this."

"Shuttup, twins-teme. I'm in a superbad mood. Oh wait that sounds wrong," Shashuko giggles. "Sorry, I just blow up sometimes. Anyway, the first review's from Xx **Tohru xXx Seraphina xX**!"

**Hey Dianna-chan! Is it okay if I call you that? **

**I loved this chapter!! It was so awesome!! You rule!!**

**I read book seven. It was good, and I argued with my friend about it. Did you like the Nineteen Years Later bit? **

"Yes, I liked it! Duh! Aren't Albus Severus and Scorpius the BEST names ever?

**Oh an I have a question for Hunny; Do you like Winnie The Pooh?**

**Xx Tohru x Seraphina xX**

"Of course I do!" Hunny replies cheerfully (he does everything that way!).

"Thanks, X-chan! Now, for the review of **chibiharu-chan**!"

Kyouya groans.

**anna-chan(I cut off di from dianna):omg sqeu yayz for naruto -total naruto fan-I LUV Naruto that shows so totally kick arse! and jump through the portal time!x3-jumps through the portal and is wearing her leaf headband and her chuunin vest- this is how much of a naruto freak I am in fact I have more naruto stuff but I wasn't to take them all here except for my handmade kunais!3-shows u my kunais-**

"Woah! Nice!" Shashuko giggles. "I want a chuunin vest, but in my line of work we have to take mock chuunin exam to get one... if you ask me, it's not worth the trouble."

**naruto references!:**

**when haruhi said troublesome:shika-kun aka shikamaru says that alot!x3**

**the double scythe thingy: I think thats from naruto I don't really knowcrys**

**the lacking hatred thingy: isn't that wat itachi said that sa-kun(sasuke) lacked to sa-kun?**

**the giant shuriken!: isn't that one of the weapons naru-kun and sa-kun used against zabuza when they first fought him**

**hikaru aka the red-haired pysho: gaara-kun!sqeuu!x3**

**un:deidira!Dthinking:damn I can't spell his name right**

**the person who likes ramen aka fox brat: NARU-kun!sque!1x3**

**springtime of youth!:gai-sensai says that alot **

**kill tobi- isn't he the ne that annoys deidaira like alot**

"Yes he is! Tobi is AWESOME!!!" Shashuko says cheerfully. "But not as awesome as Haku-sama! Who I have to send back soon sniff I'll do a special for when he has to leave." she hugs Haku who stares at her for a second and then shrugs. He's used to this by now.

**and thats all that I could find x3 and and anna-chan could u maybe bring naruto here??big chibi eyes**

"Haku, could you hide please? You're supposed to be dead," Shashuko whispers.

Haku sweatdrops. "Okay." He hides behind the couch.

"Here comes NARU-CHAN!!!" Shashuko squeals, causing Chibiharu-chan to cover her ears (sorry chibiharuchan for manipulating you in this manner but if I didn't your eardrums would have broken).

"Huh? Shashuko-neechan? Is there another problem dattebayou?" Naruto asks, blinking.

"No, Naru-chan! But, Chibiharu-chan here wants to meet ya."

Naruto's eyes light up. "You're the gilr who sent me all that ramen that Shashuko-neechan sent me!" he glomps chibiharu-chan. "THANK YOU! I was almost out!"

**[if u did bring naruto through the portalomg sqeu it's naru-kun yayz!-glomps naruto and gives him a kiss on the cheek-**

Naruto blushes. "Hey dattebayou! No one kisses me but Tsunade-baa-chan and-"

Shashuko covers his mouth. "I support more than one Naruto pairing with Naruto in it, so I'm not going to let you finish that sentence!!!"

Naruto glares, but since Shashuko has friends much eviller than Naruto (cough, Aya, cough) and has been glared at by Haruhi before this does not faze her.

**[if u didn't bring naruto through the portaloh ok -has teary eyes-..-eats some of her candy-ok I'm betta now!3 **

"This sentence is irrelevant," says Shashuko, pointing at the previous sentence, "but I always post ALL of the review. That's my policy! By the way _Stephanie_ (who I know will read this as soon as I post it because I'm going to call her that I have posted it as soon as it it posted), that's why you should stop reviewing like crazy. I find it annoying having to copy and paste things I don't even have to bother to answer."

**kyo-teme:damn it give back my f-ing panites back already!-flames are coming out of my eyes & I throw my kunai through your notebook- and perv!-kicks u in the shin-**

"No."

Naruto stares ar Kyouya. "How come everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by perverts dattebayou?!?"

"Because Kishimoto-sensei is an evil genius," Shashuko giggles.

**tama-baka:-Throws some of my kunais and u end up pin againct the wall- haru-chan didn't want u to kiss her baka-teme but u did cause u're a wetard so -steals tamaki's kuma-chan and sells him on eBay- this shows how much I unsupport tamaharu pairing **

"Don't sell teddy bears names Kuma-chan on Ebay! My teddy bear is also names Kuma-chan and I love him very much."

"But Tamaki's fangirls have already bought the bear and they'll probably give it back to him at the Host Club," Kyouya notes, looking at his laptop. He stares at Chibiharu-chan for a second and starts marking in his ledger (yes stephanie. that's what he's doing. yes, not-stephanie people, stephanie helped me decide what to put here).

**mori-sempai:-gasp and scream out to the whole wide world by accident- Mori-sempai has crush on hunny-sempai!?!?!! -is shocked- **

Mori looks away, clearly embarrassed.

**anna-chan:sorry if I was crazy and scaring u abit and ja ne -trys to leaves through the portal whiling hugging aka stealing naruto-**

"It's okay-- wait, stealing WHAT?!?" Shashuko yells, then sighs. "First Mieko Miyazaki gets stuck in DBZ, and now this... ah well, I'll find them later. On the other hand, they're running loose at Ouran High right now... heh heh, we'll see what they look like when they get out... at the end of the chapter."

"Shashuko-san, shouldn't you help them?" Haku asks, popping up from behind the couch.

"Nah. They'll be fine, besides no one uses magic there besides the Black Magic Club, and they don't seem to be very mean. Just evil," Shashuko says, smiling stupidly, "So, they'll be okay!!! Anyway, now to hear from **Princessstephanie**-- no, not my-friend-whose-phone-number-I-have-Stephanie, this is a coincidence. It's a small world after all!"

**:O HAKU! Haku (and Shikamaru) are my two most favorite people on Naruto!! I'd just like to say thanks for helping me, and yes it's a fic, but I take forever to update... I'm very proud of Haruhi for actually answering! hugs Haruhi I have a few questions now though :D **

"Haku-sama IS awesome, isn't he? And Shika-chan too. Heh heh. Troublesome! Heh heh."

**Tamaki: What is your favorite movie?**

"My favorite movie is Millienium Actress!" (this is an anime movie and it's really sad in a happy way. so cute!) "I love all those different outfits Chiyoko wears! They're soooo cute!"

"Wasn't the scene where she was chasing the train soooo sad?" Shashuko sighs. "I feel guilty for not crying... but it takes something like Bridge to Terabithia to make me cry."

**Kaoru: What is your favorite song?**

"I'm Gettin' Nothin' for Christmas,"Kaoru says, grinning.

**Nekozawa: Why do you like Beezelef so much? I mean he's just a puppet, right? I won't complain though because it's cute to see Tamaki looking so scared of it. grins**

"How could you _not_ like Bereznoff?" Shashuko gasps. "Bereznoff is awesome!"

"When I was a child, I was scared all the time," Nekozawa reminisces, "Then, I had a dream. Bereznoff appearsed and comforted me. The next day, I had this puppet made." he waves the Bereznoff puppet.

"That's just creepy," Shashuko decides. "Eh heh... onward! To see what comments **StainedGlassCuts** has!"

**Naruto references: Haruhi said 'Troublesome'. This is a phrase Shika-kun uses.**

**You keep saying things 'lack hatred'. Itachi tells Sasuke he lacks hatred and so cannot become strong.**

**Red-haired and psycho is Gaara-chan.**

**The orange book...is what Kakashi reads. Teehee.**

**Fox bratNaruto himself.**

**"Springtime of your youth" is something that Gai-sensei would say.**

**That's all I could find. I Love Naruto. Also, if Haku is still there, HI Haku!**

"Hi," Haku says, waving.

"YAY! SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH! Imitating Gai and Lee is sooo much fun," Shashuko chuckles. "Me, my sister, and my friend are the Rock Lee fan club."

**Ahem. Hi Hosuto Bu!! (Host Club) **

**Kyou-sama, if you one day do take over the world(Which I'm sure you will), may I have a country? Pretty please?**

"If I'm in a good mood, I may or may not give you Greenland. But I probably won't," Kyouya says.

**Haruhi-kun, is there a particular reason you don't care about gender very much?**

"Well, as you know my Dad's a cross-dresser. In addition, he sometimes accidentally shops in the boy's section for me. So, I've been influenced in a way that I just don't care. I guess I'm a little _bent _that way," Haruhi notes, looking up thoughtfully.

**Kao-chan... you rock. I wish my brother was like you... You always thinking about Hikaru before yourself, not letting you own feelings for a certain person get in the way of your brother's love!! (Even if he's an idiot who doesn't realize he's in love.) Aishiteru!! **

"Um... thank you?" Kaoru asks confusedly.

**Tama-chan wa baka desu yo. **

"YOU'RE SO MEEAAAN!" Tamaki whines, crying. Shashuko mutters something about stained rugs under her breath.

**Sha-san, I like your other fanfiction. It's very good. Bit off topic, but I'm random like that.**

**Ja!**

"Don't you watch the iPOd Shuffle commercials? _**Life**_ is random. And yes, that particaular fic is a bit off-topic. I need to work on that... I won't update that until I can think of what to do next. I'm kinda stuck with that one. Also, I'm working on a Naruto fanfiction, mostly to torture my friend by making her like Orochimaru," Shashuko giggles. "Heh heh... I think I'll go post it now."

She grins and runs out of the portal, leaving the entire group in complete silence for awhile.

Five minutes later, she comes back looking very pleased with herself. "Yay! I've posted it! It's called **'Anko Plus Gennin Equals: Pure Chaos,'** so y'all go read it now! NO wait, first read Harry Potter Book Seven if you haven't finished it yet (shame on you!). Then, finish reading this chapter. Only then do you have permission to read my Naruto ficcy! But really, finish this chappy first, unless you're one of those kind souls who had already read it because they author-alerted me. But read this if you're reading it now, because **crazy-gemini124** wrote the next review!"

**Hm, i spoted a Rocklee or Gai-sensei refrence, a Kakashi ref, a Naruto ref, an Atksuki ref, and a Gaara ref.**

"Thank you! I'm glad enough people know Naruto well enough to get these... only Stephanie knew tha Beatles stuff!"

**I have been reading HP and the Deathly Hallows. Besides, I just beat the 5 game. I've learned that four of the games you have to fight Voldie (his name is too long to type.)**

"HOLY CRAP!" Shashuko screams. "FINISH IT NOW! Dear god, please forgive me for swaying people from HP book 7! ... It's not my fault!"

**Any who, I don't have many so this should be short: To everybody (Includeing Haku, Nekozawa, and Sha-chan), which anime/manga character would you compare youselfs to? For example, Kyouya would be Naraku from Inuyasha because they are both ploting and evil. One rule: It CAN'T be someone else off Ouran**

"I don't watch much anime, but I am told that I am very much like Sohma Ayame from Fruits Basket!!!" Tamaki exclaims.

"I think his name is... Soujiro? He's from Rurouni Kenshin," Haku offers.

"We're like... Risa and Risu from DN Angel!" say the twins cheerfully.

"You're more like Fred and George Weasley," Shashuko taunts.

"They're not anime characters!"

"Hmm..." mumbles Mori. "... Fujiwara Zakuro. Tokyo Mew Mew."

"WHA-? Well, their personalities are rather similiar, even if Zakuro is a girl," Haruhi says, sweatdropping. "As for me... I guess Teteishi Ayu from Ultra Maniac, because she's also surrounded by strange people from a culture very unlike her own." She glares at the Hosts.

"Haruhi's so calm and cool!" Tamaki grins

"Hmm... maybe then I should be more rambunctious and weird," Haruhi says flatly, glaring at Tamaki.

"I'm like Momiji-chan from Furuba!" Hunny cheers (real surprise there).

"Probably Orochimaru from Naruto," Nekozawa says evilly. "He's so... creepy. I wish I was more like him."

"I don't watch anime," Kyouya says.

"Hnn... I know who you remind ME of," Shashuko chuckles.

"Who?"

"Well, like you, he's very powerful and influential, and he writes a lot," the authoress says cheerily.

"Sounds good. I'm like him," Kyouya decides.

Shashuko yells, on top of her lungs, "KYOU-TEME _**ADMITS**_ HE'S LIKE JIRAIYA! HE'S A PERVERT!!!"

**Tama-chan: I still don't get it. And second,(gomenasi but i feel evil lately) any chance that you would put on a dress again like in vol. 4?**

"Anything for a fangirl!" Tamaki runs into the portal and comes back wearing the selfsame dress from Volume Four (wasn't that the Alice in Wonderland dress? I don't often remember which volume any given part of the story is from).

**...that wasn't short. Crazy-chan**

"No, it wasn't," Shashuko decides. She begins imitating certain very scary people from Naruto. "ONWARD! Through the springtime of my youth an towards the review of the youthful **KitaxHaku**!!!"

**I just wanted you to know, Kita Haku is my name! Well, my online name at least. Not trying to make anyone jealous or sad or depressed or emo...thanks for putting me out there on your story, though! Haku is yours to love! Lovu love!**

**PS, Go twins!**

"No, no, my mistake! I'm not mad anymore!" Shashuko shakes her head voilently. "Okay, go** bringme2life**!"

**OMG! KYO-CHAN'S WEAKNESS IS BRAS AND PANTIES! PERVERT TO THE THIRD POWER! BUT I STILl LUV YOU! anyways:**

**thinks of question kyo-chan, is it true that you are good deep on the inside? cuz it kind of showed i nthe episode when you were lost in that mall and haruhi found you.**

"No, don't be silly. I'm a heartless boy." Kyouya smiles refreshingly (ah, the refreshing smile of a seventeen-year-old Kyouya).

**haruhi, even though this is a disturbing and wrong question, but i must ask, are you a late bloomer or do you think that you just ain't gonna grow anything? cuaz you know there are pills for that now.**

Haruhi stares at the question. "There might be pills for that sort of thing, but I'm not going to use them. I'm not the sort of girl who would worry about that sort of thing. I might just be a late bloomer, or maybe this is as far as I'll grow. Either way, I don't really care."

"NO Haruhi! Grow them bigger!" Shout the twins. She gives them an EXTREMELY EVIL deathglare.

"Those pills don't work," says Hunny. "I tried to grow my legs bigger but nothing happened."

**and Sha-chan here's my description: really tall for age, too mature for age, long chocolate brown hair, onyx eyes. glasses, same as Kyo-chans,my skin color is light mocha. I'm a miz of African- American and Native-American. not skinny as Haruhi but not fat.just curvy. and people sa ymy personality most of the time is like Kyo-chan's but a little bit nicer.**

"Thankies! But with so many requests, I don't think I'm gonna be able to use everyone! Future reviewers who want in: You have been warned!

**and just real quick. jumps through portal gives Tamaki a hug and Kyo-chan a book about making good money decisions and bding a dictator. goes back home thnx everybody! Ja ne!**

"Bye bye!" Shashuko repliues hyperishly. "Lessee... now for DarkSpiritLords... aka Dark-sama! Thank you again for bringing Haku-chan here. I so owe you!"

**Oh...um...I kinda already went and burned Zabuza's manga books the second you told me to confiscate them. I thought burning it ould have been faster than carrying them back. Heh-heh. He won't miss them too much right?**

"Oh, I'm sure he doesn't miss them terribly much," Haku says politely. "After all, they were just books, right?"

Shashuko sweatdrops. "Umm. Haku? If someone really likes a book, they don't want it burned. Remind me to never let you near my Harry Potter collection."

**Anyways...you won't mind if I come into the story right? I want to meet Haku because I don't watch Naruo. Could you dim a corner of the room for Arron to appear from? He request it to be the one farthest away from Tamaki's corner of woe. Appears with Aarron next to me Hi guys. Looks around the room for Haku (blushes a bit when eyes landed on Kaoru). Umm...judging buy your somewhat long hair and clothes you must be Haku. A pleasure to finally meet you.**

"A pleasure to meet you as well," Haku says warmly. "I'm so grateful I've been able to come here. These people are all so fun to be around. I'll never look at loud blonde people the same way again."

**And if Shashuko has updated this after he let then I must be seeing his ghost form. Oh but if Shashuko is able to update before Haku goes back to the dead then the days Haku stays is extended till Sept 7th 2007 (unless you say these words"I don't want Haku to stay in the word of the living anymore."**

"SQUEE! THANK YOU!" Shashuko hugs Dark-sama. "But wait... doesn't Haku have any say in this? Haku-chan, if you want to leave, you can tell me and I'll say the words, kay?"

"O-okay," Haku says.

**I was able to pull some strings with Deathy-chan. Oops! I wasn't suppose to call him that anymore. Hope he doesn't read this. Aarron tugs on my sleeve. I turn and stare at him 5 minutes later...But he said he does illusions...wha?!...oh...but...fine I'll ask but only cause it Tamaki...Nekozawa do you think you can make like 4 or 5 Tamaki voodoo dolls for Aarron and his friends? Oh and both yours and Kyouya's rooms are done.**

"I don't make the voodoo dolls, but I'll ask the girl in my club who does and see what I can do," Nekozawa replies.

"NOOOO!" yells Tamaki.

**Oh and just for fun of it...Takes a few steps back and faces Aaron and holds out both hands and Aarron does the same Since Hikaru and Kaoru say they don't like rainbow ponies we're gonna summon a few of them and see how they react.Closes eyes and sarts chanting. A white orb of light appears in the space between Aarron amd my hands. Then 2 Rainbow ponnies jump out with a mini rainbow pony Come on! Don't you two just wanna pet them? I mean just look at their big sparkly eyes.**

"No..." the twins say slowly, struggling not to pet the ponies.

Shashuko, Hunny, and Tamaki, on the other hand, run at them with the batt;e cry of "KAWAIII!" and glomp the ponies.

"I love ponies! I collect My Little Pony Toys, I fact!" Shashuko squeals. "I have, like, nine of them!"

**Ok say bye-bye to the ponies. Leads the 3 ponies into Shashuko's portal Its a lot faster to just use the portal. Hope you don't mind. **

"Bye-bye!" the three immature blondes reply happily. "Come again!"

The twins look on, sadly. At least they were able to upholod their reputation.

**Oh! I just remembered something!**

"What is it what is it?" Hunny asks. "Are you bringing the Kawaii Ponies back?"

**Glares at Kyouya note: my glare is 10x stronger than Kyouya's. DON'T.YOU.DARE.GO.NEAR.MY.CHAMBERS.YOU.PERV! or I'll obliterate you if Aarron hasn't already. At this point Aarron has moved in front of me and is glaring at Kyouya**

"I- I won't," says Kyouya, who trying and failing not to look shaken and frightened.

**Oh my...Aarron. Language...yes I know...aww...thats so sweetgoes up to Aarron and kises on his cheek Hee-hee. Aarron is like my Haku. As in he's perfect to me like Haku is perfect to Shashuko.**

"You hit the head on the nail!" Shashuko says cheerfully. "Most people like Sasuke or Gaara or Itachi, just because they're hot, but they're freaking PSYCHOTIC and I don't think they like girls anyway. And cute is better than hot!" she hugs Haku for emphasis.

**Oh and Kyouya Aarron says if you even step one foot into my room after 6...well lets just say I hope it doesn't get too bloody. Oh and for some reason he said the same thing for Kaoru? I don't know why though. Bye everyone. disappers with Aarron**

"Bye bye Dark-sama! I'll bring Haku back on the 7th... I'll PM him to you!" Shashuko replies cheerfully, then turns to Haku.

"I'm gonna miss you, Haku-chan..."

"And I you," replies Haku. "But we have email in hell so I'll reply any messages you send."

"YAY! You're so thoughtful!" Shashuko squeezes him. "The next review is from **MiekoMiyazaki**!"

**SHASHUKO!**

**(boing)**

**"Man, I LURVE this fic!" squeal the twins in unison. "Since our dares were quite well-received, we're giving you more so Shashuko can have more laughing fits!"**

"Yay!" squeals Shashuko, who is by the way still hugging Haku.

**Haruhi: Kiss TAMAKI! And a proper one! If you do, we'll give you an unlimited supply of ootoro, cos' weire rich! (How else did you think we could modify our DNA to make us part-liquid?)**

"No."

**Tamaki: Watch this (whisper) edited (end whisper) video of Haruhi and the Hitachiin Twins acting lovey-dovey!**

**The Miyazaki Twins throw a CD at Tamaki, which slices off some of his hair without breaking.**

**"Don't even think about destroying it! It's everything-proof!"**

"I must take this dare!" Tamaki sobs. He puts the CD into the widesceen TV.

_ON THE TV:_

_The images of Haruhi mumbling some thing and the twins mumbling something are editing to make it look like a three-way make-out fest O.o_

"Hey, Haruhi..." the twins start slyly.

"NO."

**Kyouya: Hug Renge!**

**Renge: Hug Kyouya! (sorry, but I'm a RengeXKyouya fan)**

"I'll get Renge," Shashuko offers. She grabs the remote from Tamaki, who is pressing random buttons (thankfully, nothing's come out yet).

"ARGGH! TAMAKI! Oh great, my boss is gonna kill me... _here, we'll fix this... and this..._ TAMAKI, YOU CREATED A CROSS OVER OF Lord of the Rings AND Elfquest! ARRGH! _Undo... erase..._ there we go! Come out, Renge!"

Renge comes into the portal and lands on Kyouya (heh heh).

"Aaah!" she screams. "You know I'm still in shock from finding out that Haruhi--- Shashuko, what are you holding?"

"Pleased to meet you! I'm Haku," Haku replies carefully, eyeing the very creppy expression that is slowly growning on Renge's face.

"Shashuko! You can summon anime characters?"

"Yes...?"

"I WANT A SASUKE!" she screams.

"No. Sasuke already has someone he likes in that way. Besides, while Haku is not here of his own free will, he is not that annoyed by my hugging of him... err, right?"

"It's not like you're squeezing the life out of me. I don't mindm," Haku notes. "But, if we pulled Sasuke out here and you hugged him, he's probably kill you."

"Anyway! Renge, you have been summoned here because of a dare!" Shashuko points at the review screen.

"Why would I hug-"

Kyouya hugs Renge (probably thinking something perverted!).

"Now, Renge, please leave," he says a little coldly.

"I think I will!" she yells at him, stomping off throught the portal.

**Hani: Do a stupid dance while lip-synching to Shissou!**

"I don't know that song. Sorry!"

**Mori: Cosplay as Hatsuharu OR dye your hair pink.**

**"Otherwise, we'll duplicate and super-mega-glomp you!"**

Mori stares at the threat of being super-mega-glomped and dies the top part of his hair white.

**Hitachiins: Tie Tamaki's bear to a parachute and throw it out the window.**

**"It's not even a dare, you should enjoy this!" screams Rieko.**

"With pleasure," reply the Weasley ripp-offs, grinning evilly. "There's no windows in here, though... we'll jst us the portal."

"Drop it into your own dimension!" Shashuko warns. "We don't want Gaara or some other psycho to find it again!"

"Understood!" the twins throw Kuma-chan out the portal and into its original dimension.

"AHHHH!" Tamaki screams girlishly.

**The twins grow wings and burst through the roof.**

"That's Naruto's Dimension up there..." Shashuko says indifferently. "I hope this doesn't happen like last time..."

"What happened last time?"

"Let's just say that once I got the person out, they were no longer a Naruto fan..."

Everyone stares at Shashuko.

"... They were a Sasuke fan," she finishes. "Haha! I bet I scared you!"

"I wasn't scared!" Tamaki says, a little too quickly.

"Riiight..." is Shashuko's reply. "Now! The next reviewer is **Hyper-Fox-Child**!"

**Um...Konnichiwa:Does polite bow: I really enjoy your question and answer thing. It's lots of fun to read! I was actually referred here from KitaxHaku's story 'Always', she was right! It is awesome here! (I may sound really shy and stuff, but I get REALLY hyper once I get to know people:cute grin: I just get a little nervous at first :blush: )**

"Once I first read this review, I immediately went to KitaxHaku's fanfiction in question. It's awesome! You people should go read it." Shashuko grins.

**-Shashuko- So, um...how are you? And how long have you been reading Ouran? (P.S. I agree, Haku rocks! Even though Kiba is one of my personal favs:cuddles Kiba plushie: )**

"Watashi wa genki desu! I'm good! I've been an Ouran fan since right before the last Christmas Holidays, when my friend Kuro-chan told me to look it up on Youtube. She showed me Naruto, too. She's awesome! She made a non-believer BELIEVE IT!" Shashuko chuckles at her own lame Naruto dub pun.

-**The twins- You two are my favorite! But if I have to be honest, Hikaru is my absolute favorite! (But hugs for Kaoru too!) Everyone says they like Kaoru better because on his own he is more calm and stuff, well that's exactly why I like Hikaru a little better. He's just so crazy/funny/goofy all the time:Walks up to Hikaru: Can I have a hug?! Please:puppy eyes:**

"Thank you," Hikaru says exasperatedly. "Why does no one else see that?"

"Hikaru..." Kaoru says softly. "Do you... hate me?"

"No, I don't." Hikaru hugs his little brother. Shashuko stares with yaoi-related thought going through her head.

**-Kyouya- When you take over the world (not "if" because we all know you will) can I have a piece of Switzerland? And don't you ever get annoyed at any of your fangirls in the host club? (all that squealing would get on my nerves to be honest :sweatdrop: )**

"You? Switzerland? Maybe... if I'm in a good mood and feeling unusually generous that day-"

"-In other words, the chances of you getting Switzerland are very small," Shashuko interrupts.

Kyouya glares at Shashuko, which if you've never ben glared at by Kyouya is a very creepy experience.

"As for the fangirls, yes, frankly they scare me. But I don't mind them terribly much..."

"That's becuase you're a pervert, Kyou-teme," Shashuko says sagely.

**-Nekozawa- Eek:resists running up and squeezing Neko-sama: How's Kirimi doing? And Bereznoff? Can I have a plushie? Are you planning another Halloween scare this year? How many cloaks do you actually have?! (So many questions! I'm sorry!)**

"Kirimi is fine... plushies are one hundred and fifty yen... and _yes,_ I _am_ planning another Halloween scare this year._ Kukuku..._"

"I don't mind the questions. Isn't that what this ficcy is FOR?" Shashuko giggles. "Actually, I do mind when someone manages to review the same chapter five million times... it makes me want to kill something. And eat it. and I'm vegitarian." Shashuko grins evilly. "So, if you are doing this, please stop. Thank you!"

"I think she's mad at Stephanie," Tamaki whispers to Haruhi. Haruhi sighs at Tamaki's ability to state the obvious.

"No one can get under your skin like a close friend. They know you better," Shashuko says cheerfully. "But as a whole, torturing little siblign sis much, much more fun, I think."

**-Tamaki- Err...no questions for you really. (Still love ya!) But here's a bone for Antionette!**

"A bone for Antoinette! I am so moved!" Tamaki cries tears of joy. "I would bring her, but Shashuko forbids it!"

"Are you scared of dogs, Shashuko?" the twins ask evilly.

"No!" she says rushedly. "ThenextquestionisforKasanoda-kunsolet'sgethiminhere!"

Shashuko, shaking all voer, summons Kasanoda from the portal.

"Huh? A question for me?" Kasanoda asks, embarrassed.

**-Kasanoda- I haven't seen Bossa Nova much, so I'm gonna ask him something! Are you able to take care of animals yet? They don't still run away do they? Aw! You were too cute in that episode:happy squeal: Have the twins played any pranks on you yet? Becuase it would suprise me if they haven't...**

"The animals? They're starting to warm up to me... I think the cats in particular."

"Probably becuase you wore the Nekomimi maid outfit that one time," the twins snicker.

"That's not my fault! You two blackmailed me!" Kasanoda shouts in his Yakuza voice.

"I think that answers the pranking question..." the twins say evilly.

**Well, I've already spent way to much time and wasted way too much room. So I'd better be going. But strawberries for everyone (I'm in a strawberry mood!)**

"Yay! Strawberries!" Shashuko squeals. "Thank you!"

**Oh...one more thing...**

**STEPHY GETS A COOKIE!**

"Stephy cookie count: one!" Shashuko makes a tally mark by scratching into the wood of her coffee table with a stray nail she found on the floor. "When I get twenty that are not from Stephanie, I will bake cookies! And maybe give Stephy one too."

**-TTFN! (Tellytubbies talk for no-one!) **

**HyperFoxChild**

"Ta-ta for now!" Shashuko and Hunny reply automatically.

"Only about Shashuko is that she's the only one?" the twins ask.

"Hey! Grrr... I'm not talking to you two now! Okay, queue** Patty Simmons**!"

**Le KankuGaa story is UP and RUNNING! **

"And I've alerted it! Go girly Gaara!" Shashuko pumps her fist in the air.

**My question is for Boss-nova/Cassanova/Kasonoda-kun.**

**but before I ask this, Hikaru and Tamaki might have to be tied up...and their mouths just might have to be ducktaped shut.**

**Give Haruhi ear plugs as well, THANK YOU!**

"I'll just summon him again--"

"You never sent me home, Shashuko." Kasanoda says quietly.

"Oh. Sorry. Eheh. Well then!" Shashuko nods at Hunny, who binds and blindfolds both Hikaru and Tamaki. Mori adds the earplugs, then puts some on Haruhi's ears.

**Cassanova-kun, How EXACTLY do you feel about Haruhi? Tell the truth.**

"Well... I..." Kasanoda blushes, then faints.

"He's like that Hyuuga girl you wre telling me about the other day," Haku notes.

"Well, he's out cold, so we can assume he has a crush on our little Haru-chan here, ne?" Hunny says.

Shashuko pushes Kasanoda out the portal to his home dimension, then glares at Kaoru.

"Don't tell your brother."

"We can hear what you're saying, you know," Haruhi says. "These are the kind of earplugs that mostly block out sudden, high-pitched sounds, like gunshots."

"... Oh."

Hunny unties, un-gags, and un-earplugs those of the hosts who are bound, gagged, or earplugged. "Oh! Oh! The next review is from Simm-chan also! Only she went with an anon review, ne?"

**I'm too lazy to log in! -sweat drop- heehee, SO! -turns to Kyouya-**

**My question Otori-sama...how long have you had this...weakness of yours?**

Kyouya sighs. "Too long," he growls. "I find it annoyingly distracting."

"Maybe we should put him into Pervert Rehab like we did with Jiraiya-san," Haku whispers to Shashuko.

"But it didn't work on Jiraiya-hime either." (hime princess lol)

"HIME? Jiraiya's a man, Shashuko."

"I know, but I nickname all Naruto characters and that's his."

"Ah. That explains it." Haku sweatdrops.

**Personally I find it a bit discusting that you would admit to being a pervert but I suppose I can give a reward for being so good through out the fanfic. -throws victoria's secret bra at face- **

Kyouya picks up the bra and looks at it thoughtfully. "Hmm..." he goes to mark something down in his notebook.

**chow biznatch!**

"Wait... WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?" Shashuko yells. "Eheh.. sorry. Stepanie, AKA she who must not be names, has a long chain of reviews now. I'm not going to differentiate one from the other, but I'll tell you than in this chain there are about six reviews." Shashuko growls.

"Let's get this overwith..."

**ok, dianna, you were right. i did miss one. i am, if you can beleive it, truly ashamed. i have only this is my defense: i only foudn that song so long ago, and i have so many songs to listen to, so i haven't listened to that particular song enough for it to stick. **

**BUT! it's from REVOLVER not SERGEANT PEPPER'S!**

**so there! MWAH HAH HAH HAH HA**

"I am beaten..." Shashuko says, head hanging. "I should've not known not to challenge your 1337 Beatles skillz."

"The Beatles have nothing to with 1337," the twins taunt.

**i'll review again. be afraid. of the biting/slug burping weasel. hums- they cal him the weasel hee hee byeas!**

"Draco Malfoy, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?" Shashuko sings in response. "Yay for weasels!"

**ok, dianna-um, shashuko/cream/minto/who the heck ever else you've been- **

**you have a right to know. you had me laughing out loud with these comments: (copyed and pasted)**

"I'm listening." Shashuko smirks, knowing that the folloing comments will definitely feed her superiority complex, which keeps her alive like some people are kept alive on pure spite.

**"Wii don't care," says Shashuko, to the amusement of maybe Stephanie and no one else.**

"Wii still don't care," says Shashuko. "I love inside jokes."

**Translation: Fear the tiny weasel. He bites. Also, he pukes up slugs. And needs a new wand," Shashuko says.**

"How could I not write that? But the Weasel doesn't bite, his pet rat does."

**also, I totally agree with you. book seven is much more important than your fanfiction. grins impossibly evilly. (note that it's more important than anyone's, and I'm not insulting your fanfiction because it's harry potter. hums- that book is so awesome!**

"Well, you should agree with me! Book Seven is the most influentail books since the Bible!"

"They're not the same thing? You talk about them both as if they're Holy or something," Haku says curiously.

"They both are, Haku-chan._ Remember that now._"

**diana-chan! **

**it's your fault! well, no, it's berry's fault that it's sophie's fault that it's alons problem and mr. fletcher's bad. **

**phew!**

"What is?" asks Shashuko, not noticing how the sentence does not make any sense (she's been raised on that sentence!).

**what happened there! that just seems to keep growing, doesn't it! it started out being sophie's fault! ah well. it is, you know., WAIT NO IT'S YOUR FAULT!**

**it's your fault that love to you from coughrevolvercough is stuck in my head!**

**of course i should just turn on itunes, BUT I'M TO BUSY TYPING DANGIT!**

"So do them both! It's easy! ... Nothing you can make that can't be made, no one you can save that can't be saved..."

**okay, sahshuko, here's a reminder: **

**write what's on kyoya's ledger-of-doom, and no excuses that you can't decide becuase I decided with you this after noon, remember? I'm just curious to see kyoya's reaction when you tell. giggle**

Kyouya stares at Shashuko. "You wouldn't."

Shashuko grins evilly. "I would! And I will. It's been on my mind all chapter... it'll be the Grande Finale."

The cheers of everyone reading this are heard through the portal. It's been, what four chapters of wondering?

**also: ...**

**there was something else, what was it? OH!hums!**

**Draco malfoy, what's your problem,**

"Oh! Oh! Remember that day we kept singing that song every five minutes? That was SO MUCH FUN!!!"

**also, i'm really bored. **

**really bored. **

"If reviewing this is so boring, stop!" Shashuko says, shaking her head.

**ok, just cuz, here's a question: **

**does haruhi bother to wear lingerie? **

**stop looking at me like that, i'm not like kyoya, I'm meerly curious.**

"I wear a sports bra and normal underwear," Haruhi says. "I don't wear lacy things becuase they're itchy and harder to move in."

**JUST to bother you, dianna, here's the limited addition of: **

**stupid-inside-jokes-that-dianna-doesn't-understand-theatre!**

**Mwah hah hah hah hah!**

**akuuna-ma-weasley, what a stupidful word, tusk tusk, look I'm a walrus!spew. spew. omg, spew. Je suis les omelette blue, mais mon cacahoutes c'est tres stupide. Wi iz thu doobu and thu doobu iz us! idiotic weasel! clee noi cheeb froog! fluffy, fluffly, fluffy, deizha is a ! to each his gnome. **

**actually the french part wasn't an inside joke, it was just to bother you.**

"It does, Stephanie, it does. SO, I'll speak some Japanese for you! Ohayou gouzaimasu! Watashi wa Shashuko desu! Watashi wa bingo ga... dai kirai desu."

**dianna? i forgot some inside jokes. you can post this seperately or ad these to the list: **

**Courtney cobbler! anhelica is huggable!**

**kay bye.**

"I knew about Courtney Cobbler. You explained that to me already!" Shashuko says perkily. "Okay, now from gothgirlextreme."

**bet you think I'm sophie. **

**bet you're right. **

**god, dianna, i can't beleive stephanie talked me into this. this is so stupid, who writes fanfictions all day? myspace is much better. **

**...i have nothing more to say to you.**

"Wow. It's like something a popular girl out of one of those high school movies would say," the twins say in mock shock.

"Hey! Be nice."

"Who's Sophie?" Haku asks curiously.

"In this case, it's Stephanie trying to make me look bad. I guess you could say Sophie is... Ino to my Inner Sakura. By the way, Stephie, you probably don't know what I'm talking about. but wait! I'm blond eand she ended the friendship, not me. I guess that's Sakura to my Inner Ino then." Shashuko says cooly. "By the way. Stephanie, I'm not going to be mad at you about this because I know even if I _did_ think this was Sophie, I wouldn't say anything mean. I'm better than insulting people like that."

"Then why are you speaking with malice?" Haruhi asks.

"I'm not," replied Shashuko (with malice). "The next review is from someone called **catfish or cow? hmm**."

**hey tamaki, where'd you get bear bear, i can't remember if anyone asked this question alrady. --'**

"My mother made it!" Tamaki says joyfully. "She is the most accomplished seamstress!"

"And now... more from Stephanie. By the way, Stephy, I'm sure it's not just me you're annoying by doing this. The other nice people who read this are probably annyed by your constant use of inside jokes."

**okay i reread the bit where you so calledly defeated me and it hurts. :( (me crying of shame)**

**also look a guy with a mustache:8)or proffesor mcgonagol, now that i look at it properly. do you think this counts as a mustache, though:)**

**ah well. a demain!**

"It's definitely McGonagle, since the '8' looks more like glasses on the bridge of the nose than a moustache. And what do you mean by a domain? Ah well. Oh bla dee, oh bla dah, life goes on, bra! La la la la life goes on... the next review is from **neriamisia**!"

**Everyone (you too Haku) what is your favorite american book and movie?**

"Too many good ones, can't pick right now," Shashuko says, "But I did really like Eclipse. I won't say anyting more because if I give spoilers Stephy will kill me, 'coz she hasn't read it yet. But it's really good! Same thing for movies, too. Can't pick."

"I like the movie 'Ocean's Eleven,'" says Kyouya. "As for American books... I don't like them."

"Hmm... well, 'Hoot' is a really good read, and I also like Sherlock Holmes" Haruhi notes. "I don't watch many movies. I think I saw an American movie once... it was called 'The Princess Diaries.' I didn't like it much."

"Read the books. They're much, much cooler," Shashuko nudges. "After I read the first one, I didn't like the movie much either."

"REDWALL!" Hunny shouts (eulalia!). "And movies... I like the Disney Princess Movies! Especially Cinderella!"

"I like The Little Mermaid!" Tamaki says joyfully.

"Jack Black's School of Rock," chorus the Twins. "And we're going to see Balls of Fury soon. And our favorite American book is 'Swell Foop'."

"... The Sixth Sense." Nekozawa chuckles evilly.

"I see stupid people," whispers Shashuko.

"As for books, I like the Lord of the Rings trilogy."

"There is no America in the manga I'm from," Haku says. "Sorry."

"Something tells me you'd like 'She's The Man,'" Shashuko chuckles evilly . "Or at least, Tamaki would."

"... Avatar," says Mori.

"Mori-sempai, that's an anime," Haruhi points out.

"Avatar." Mori says stubbornly.

"What about books?"

"... Redwall."

"That's what Hunny said!" Shashuko whines. "You're just copying him!"

"Redwall."

"Whatever. I'm just glad Tamaki didn't say 'The Prince and Me.' That movie is evil. And it has no plot. And my sister's allergic to it."

(Meanwhile, back in Shashuko home dimension, her little sisterbarfed. "Someone must be talking about The Prince and Me," she said weakly. "That's the third time this week!")

**Hosts, what do you think of your gay pairings; twincest, KyouyaxTamaki, MorixHunny, HaruhixRenge?**

"My and Takashi? Don't be silly! We're just really really really good friends!"

Mori falls over.

"I'm NOT GAY!" Tamaki yells.

"Then how are you able to flirt with so many girls without feeling guilty about it... whatta jerk!" SHashuko admonishes.

"TWINCEST!" yell the twins. "Is that what they call it?!?" he start shaking. "That's... just... to... funny!" they start laughing/

"Me... and Renge? Umm... I don't think I like girls, so offense," Haruhi notes politely.

**Tetsuya do you mis the Sendo clan sometimes? Your family? I want your hair, how do make it so pretty?**

"Testuya? Who's that?"

Kasanoda glares.

"Oh yeah! Him!" Shashuko smirks triumphantly. "I know who that is! Good thing too because if I didn't remember then Stephy will kick my butt with her pwnzorizing wrath."

She commands the portal to summon Testuya. However, the portal is not voice respondant like her friends', because Shashuko has a tight budget from buying her new Akatsuki cloak, since the old one got torn. So, SHahsuko grumbles and uses the remote.

Testuya stumbles through the portal, carrying a bag of groceries. "Young Master! Where are we?!?"

"It's Shashuko's office, we are told," the twins inform him sagely. "How this is an office, though, we don't understand."

"I sit on the floor and fill out paperwork at the coffee table," Shashuko says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Instead of getting a good table, I got a good TV. Testuya stares at Shashuko.

"This is a Q&A fic, right?"

"That's right. So, answer the question, please!"

Testuya stares at the question for a mintue or so before answering.

"Miss the Sendo Clan? Sometimes, but mostly I'm happy serving the Young Master. As for my hair, I brush it before I go to bed, after I wake up, before I shower, before the Young Master gets home, and before I go out. I also take two showers a day with shampoo and conditioner."

Shashuko stares at him. "That's way to much to deal with hair. It does look really soft, though. Is it because you've pounded it into submission?"

Testuya glares at SHashuko. "Young Master, we should leave soon."

Kasanoda nods. They leave through the portal, Testuya sticking his tongue out at Shashuko, who rasberries in reply.

"You can't win 'em all," she says sagely.

**Yasuchika, despite your manliness I think you are so KAWAII especially in the manga. I love your name too. Do you think you'll join the host club when you get to highschool**?

Chika-chan sticks his head in the portal of his own accord and shouts, "NO I'm not, and NO!" then he dissappears.

"Cannon characters can't usually do that," Shashuko says eerily.

**Kyouya are you secretly a proffesional chess player?**

"I don't play chess. I prefer to spend my time... nevermind." he looks away.

"Peeking in on woman's baths?" Shashuko questions, with a suspicious tone in her voice.

"Whatever gave you that idea, Shashuko?" he shivers.

**Tamaki how are you so optomistic all the time? People mistake your sweet naieveness for stupidity and pervertedness, how does that feel? You are a very cool person, don't let anyone get you down Tama. Beary is cute, good choice.**

"I don't know why people think that way!!!" Tamaki sobs, "But I don't like it!"

"It sucks, don't it? People thinking you're creepy becuase you don't care..." Shashuko sighs.

Tamaki reads the rets of the question. "Me? Cool! THANK YOU! And yes, I know! Kuma-chan is TOO CUTE, isn't he?"

"My kuma-chan is fuzzier," Shashuko taunts, pulling a white teddy bear out of the portal and squeezing it.

"And cuter!" Hunny adds. "Can I hold it?"

"Only if I can hold bun-bun."

**Nekozawa what would you do if you were engaged to a fluffy sunshine and light girl whose white magic is stronger than your black magic? Or what if she was a grey magic girl who takes Kirimi as an apprentice grey mage?**

"If it was a white magic girl... I'm not sure what I would do. But, as for grey magic and teaching Kirimi, I don't mind. If that's what Kirimi wants to do... and if the person was nice to Kirimi, I would probably like them as well."

"I smell plot bunnies. Are you writing a fanfiction that has something to do with this?" Shashuko asks. "Becuase you know me: I'd want to read it!"

The lights dim and strobe light start swerving around.

"OKAY! Last review!" Shashuko squeals. "It's from **Lukkiester**! Congrats, Lukkie-chan! You get a cyber cookie!"

**STEPHY GETS COOKIE! STEPHY GETS COKI- no, I want the cookie now! ...And, again -is annoying Sha-chan- can I be in your fanfiction?**

"You're saying 'and again' because you reviewed previous chapters... you can't do that! I only take questions from the most recently posted chapter, so sorry! I'm a very busy girl. I've got Avatar/Spongebob crackfics, Ranma fics, and my new Naruto ficcy to write! Okay, Hosties, bye bye now!"

"Good riddance!" yell the twins. The Ouran characters leave.

Just after they leave, Uchiha Sasuke comes through the portal dragging a KO'd Mieko and Rieko by the arms. " ARe these yours, Shashuko? And where's Naruto!" he yells.

"Those aren't mine, but they're my friends. Naruto... was kidnapped. His captor too him through there." Shashuko points at the portal.

Sasuke drops Mieko and Rieko and runs through the portal.

When he finally returns, he's dragging an out-of-breath Naruto and another KO'd user-- Chibiharu-chan. His and Naruto's clothes are town and their hair is rumples.

"Those fangirls..." Sasuke mutters, "Are worse then the ones where I come from. And the ones where I come from are _ninjas!_"

"Put me down, Sasuke-teme," Naruto pants.

"Ahh! You killed Chibiharu-chan!" Shashuko gasps. Then, Chibiharu, Rieko, and Mieko wake up simultaneously.

Naruto and Sasuke leave, so Haku comes out from behind the couch. "That was a close one. So, what was in Kyouya's ledger?"

Shashuko hangs her head. "I stole it." she holds it up. "It's... wel, just look."

There are notes on the Host Club-- somewhat. Most of the pages are full of sketches. Realistic sketches. Realistic sketches of Chibiharu-chan in HER UNDERWEAR.

Shashuko scrunches her eyes up. "Must.. not... embarrass... friend... must... not... look..."

"Then why are you broadcasting these?"

"Get Kyouya," Chibiharu-chan says, cracking her knuckles. Ominous thunder and lighting appear behind her.

Shashuko summons Kyouya, and Chibiharu-chan starts beating the crap out of him. Mieko and Rieko are staring with wide eyes.

"GET 'ER!" Haku yells suddenly.

Soon, everyone is cheering on Chibiharu-chan as she mortally wounds Kyou-teme. The bra that Patty Simmons gave him (which he did, in fact, draw Chibiharu-chan in if you were wondering) and Chibiharu-chan's panties flyout of his shirt pocket.

Chibiharu-chan stops killing Kyouya, her goal met. She snatches her panties back and leaves for home throught the portal, smirking triumphantly. Everyone cheers. Except Kyouya, who is near death. Shashuko pushes him roughly throught the portal to his house.

"Let's see him explain THIS to his father," she says evilly.

Mieko and Rieko leave, this time the right way and not through the roof, which now needs fixing. Shashuko sighs.

"This chaoter took FOREVER! But I'm glad it's over. Now! The next chapter will be, in fact, a Haku special, so don't, I repeat DON'T, give me questions. I'll post it on September the Seventh when I have to send Haku-chan home." Shashuko sniffs. Haku hugs her to make her feel better, making Shashuko turn a very interesting shade of red.

"Also, I want you all to go read my Naruto fanfiction if you like Naruto. Or if you're Stephanie, because one of my characters is based off of a certain short person we all love to tease... and compare to platypusses. By the way, Stephy, I really will give you a cookie someday... someday being the key word there. Also, I'm going to make Haku NOT DEAD! In a sense." Shashuko grins. "But I haven't gotten there yet and I won't for awhile. But in the meantime! We'll go off air, with Beatles Music playing in the background!"

_Someday you'll find that I have gone_

_But tommorrow be rain, so... I'll follow the sun._


	10. The End of The Haku Arc

Shashuko is sitting in her chair as usual, doing whatever. However, she's not wearing her Akatsuki cloak, she's wearing all black.

"Today... sniff is the day... Haku-chan will leave us," Shashuko says, shaking.

"Don't worry," Haku says, trying to comfort Shashuko. "I'll email you! And I'll read this fancfiction to see how you're doing, okay?"

Shashuko looks up hopefully. "Haku-chan..." she says softly. "YOU'RE SO SWEET!" she squeals, glomping Haku (but not too hard).

"Shashuko..." Haku sweatdrops.

"I'll get the others so that they can till our goodbye too!" Shashuko says. cheerfull again. She summons Tamaki, Haruhi, Kyouya (who is still in bandages from being beaten up cby the great and glorious chibiharu-chan), Hunny, Mori, Nekozawa, and the Weasley Ripoffs.

Shashuko gasps. "I just had a great idea!"

She points the remote at the screen and presses a long and confusing strong of buttons.

Stephanie is, in fact, holding a plush Gaara keychain and staring at it.

Shashuko squeals. "Stephanie! We're gonna say bye to Haku!"

Stephanie sweatdrops. "I was just about to review this fanfic again," she says evilly. "But I guess I can do it later."

"Good," Shashuko says, smirking.

"Haku-chan's leaving?" Tamaki gasps. "Nooo! I haven't forced her into pink outfits yet!"

Shashuko pulls the giant fan and hits Tamaki with it. "He is a guy! Haku's a guy! We see his kimono-thing half-open at one point in one of the episodes and there are no cleavage lines! Haku's chest is smooth!"

Haku just stares, then smiles. "That outfit was pink, Tamaki, if it makes you feel better," he says honestly.

"Haku wore pink and I didn't get to see it?" Tamaki whines.

"Stfu," says Shashuko, hitting him with her fan.

"Well, I don't really get Naruto, but I saw the episodes with you in them and I thought it was ad when you died. And I'm sorry you'll be leaving, because Shashuko will get in one of her moods like the time she read that ine scene in Mew Mew volume six," Stephanie says, "because when she depressed she doesn't _do_ anything."

Shashuko smiles and nods. "But you can play Beatles music and I'll be fine!" she cheers.

Stephanie runs to the stereo, sees that Shashuko already HAS beatles music in there, and turns it on.

_Someday, you'll find_

_That I have gone_

_But tommorrow be rain, so,_

_I'll follow the sun._

Shashuko sniffs. "Don't leave!" she hugs Haku, who surprisingly hugs back (that was the wrong song to hear at that time. :D).

"Don't cry, Shashuko," Haku says. "Your readers need you. At least you are neccessary in this world. With Zabuza-san gone, my purpose was to honor his name by being a good person."

_"I_ need you!" Shashuko replies, burying her face in his shirt. They stay like this for a few minutes, with the twins making lewd comments every five seconds. Shashuko summons Sasuke, who death glares them and leaves. They stop.

Haku pats her back hesitantly. "Well," he says awkardly. "I suppose I should go now."

Shashuko sighs and releases her grip on Haku. "I suppose you should."

"Oh! That's right! Dark-san sent for me in her review for this chapter. Why don't we just use that?"

Stephanie stares at the previoius scene, then shrugs and brings her Gaara keychain to her eye level, squealing. "HE'S SO CUTE!"

"And unhappy!" Shashuko agrees hyperishly.

Just then, Gaara walks through the portal and into the room. Stephanie drops her keychain and runs over to hug him.

"Hi, Stephanie," he says, as if nothing odd has happened. Stephanie squeals and squeezes Gaara tighter (nyeh heh, stephanie).

Stephy turns to Shashuko, still hugging the Kazakage. (stephanie that's his rank, it's like hokage only it from a different village. in other words he kicks major butt).

"Don't you think you should answer those questions?" she asks the authoress. "The show must go on!"

"I know, but I have no time or this won't be posted when I promised! But I must use DarkSpiritLords' review to take Haku home, ne?"

Shashuko sighs, "Now! Go **DarkSpiritLords** go!"

**Appears with Aarron and a pale ghost that looks exactly like Yuki from fruits Basket Sigh. How trouble some. Kyouya get your butt over here. This is George not Yuki. He's here to magically patch you up after Chibiharu nearly beat the daylights out of you. Even though I think you deserve it I can't have you dying before we go to hell. Kyouya...we might have to brainwash you...that is if you want to get rid of your weakness. If not then you can keep it. Just stay away from my stuff. Glares Yes I can be scary when I want to be. Oh pay attention carefully. You'll need to learn the names of these plants and medicine if you want to survive in hell.**

"Thank you..." Kyouya says weakly.

"He looked better mutilated," Shashuko mutters.

"That he did," replies Gaara, who is still by the way in Stephy's choke hold (ph34r the kickbutt stephanie. ph34r.)

**Nekozawa you should pay attention too! Oh and are those voodoo dolls done? Thanks!**

"Here they are." Nekozawa pulls out five Tamaki voodoo dolls with a flourish.

"Wow! Kimi-chan did nice work on those." Shashuko says in admiriation.

"You HAD to call her Kimi," Stephanie says under her breath.

**Ok while the heal and learn lets bring in the rainbow ponies!! out comes 5 rainbow ponies These you can ride. There's one for Hunny, Shashuko, and Tamaki. The other 2 are for the twins. You guys better not ignore them or they'll cry. You seriously don't want to see them cry. It'll break your heart into a million pieces. I had to learn the hard way. Oh and I have a camera for pictures! Won't this be fun? grins evilly**

The three Immature Blondes (no, stephanie, not you, not yet) squeal run over to the ponies and sit on them, followed by Stephy (okay, now you, stephy), who drags along Gaara. They steal one of the twins'. Said Weasley Ripoffs are now doing their very harest to ignore the last one, who is tearing up.

Eventually, Haku and Mori go and stop it from crying.

"Haku won't be here to save you next time," Stephy says in a creepy evil voice.

"Don't remind me," Shashuko mutters.

**Koaru didn't it say that you liked historical novels in the Ouran Drama CD and that Hikaru like crime. That and you don't like crime because Hikaru keeps on circling the perpetrator?**

"Umm... yes?" Kaoru says (shashuko hasn't heard thedrama cds, and if she did she wouldn't get them because she's not fluent in the japanese language yet).

**Umm about Haku. Death is going to pick him up instead. DON'T LOOK INTO HIS EYES!! It'll scar you for life. They even worse than mine and Kyouya's glare combined together! But what do you expect? He's Death! He's going to pick Haku up because he won't trust me with another free spirit after what happened last time.**

"Got it! I predict he'll show up at the end of the review," Shashuko chuckles evilly.

**I also want to ask you something. How does the whole summoning anime characters work? If in the anime they showed the person's past can you summon their younger form? But if you do that what happens to their older form?**

"Ah, well the anime characters come through the portal according to the buttons I pres, and my will power. I can summon younger people, but it taKes a lot more button pressing. And as for the older form, the worst is them both being weirded out. Watch this!" Shashuko points the remote at the TV and presses button for almost thirty seconds. As she shakes her hands and mutters about Carp Tunnel Syndrome (I think that's what it's called), five-year-old Gaara comes through the portal and crashes into... himself.

"Huh?" Chibi Gaara asks softly. "What's going on?"

"This is a dream," Older Gaara supplies quickly. "And I'm you from the future."

"Is there something you want to tell me?" the Chibi whispers.

"No," Older Gaara says coldly.

"I didn't know it was possible for someone to be cold to themself," Stephy marvels. She unhooks one of her arms from Older Gaara and hugs Chibi Gaara.

"I have to send him home now," Shashuko whispers. "I can't just keep two of them here."

"Okay." Stephy returns to hanging from just Older Gaara. "Bye, Chibi Gaara!"

"Bye." Chibi Gaara sweatdrops. Shashuko squeals and hugs him, the carries him to the portal and gently puts him through.

"Someone will love me someday..." Chibi Gaara's voice echoes. "No one loves me now, but someone will... someday..."

"I thnk you just made me not psychotic," Gaara says to Stephy.

"No! We like you psychotic!" Stephy gasps.

"Well, _I'll_ still be psychotic. But, unless I'm mistaken, _he_ won't be. I think Shashuko just created an alternate timeline is all."

"Like in DBZ?" Stephy asks.

"Yes!" Shashuko giggles. "By the way, form the way he sounded, Gaara will still be psychotic. Just in different ways."

**I can also have a voice command thingy installed for your portal if you want. I'll have it installed right after this chapter. I'll send the ponies home after I have the voice command installed.**

"YES PLEASE!" Shashuko gasps. "Even Stephy has one and I don't!"

"I have one of these office things?"

"Yes you do, you've just never been there yourself."

"What?"

"I'll explain at school."

Just then, the room grows cold. In a dark corner, the shadows seems to bend (and no, it's not shikamaru). It molds into the shape of a skeleton wearing a robe of pure darkness.

HAKU, it says, YOUR TIME IS UP.

Death holds up an hourglass.

Haku nods and walks towards it.

YOU HAVE TAKEN GOOD CARE OF HIM, Death tells Shashuko, BUT HIS EXTRA TIME IS ALL SPENT.

"Wait! Are you by any chance Death from Discworld?"

... MAYBE.

"Sweet! Tell the Death of Rats I said hello."

... I WILL.

"Bye Haku!" Shashuko sniffs. Haku whispers something to Death, who sighs and nods.

Haku gives Shashuko one last hug, and a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Bye, Shashuko!" he calls, running back to Death. He and Death dissapear.

"Bye." whispers Shashuko, who is in shock, blushing and rubbing her cheek.

But not as shocked as Tamaki, who had looked into Death's eyes by accident. Tamaki was rolling aroudn on the floor and whimpering.

The twins play soccer with him.


	11. Voice Activated

Shashuko, Stephanie, and Gaara are all sitting at the coffee table. Stephy is hugging Gaara's neck, but Gaara just ignores her and lets her hang there.

"I got an email from Haku-chan! He says he's just fine and Zabuza got more manga books."

"Sailor Moon again?" Stephy asks from her position in Gaara's lap.

"Nope, this time it's Demon Diary. Doesn't Raenef look a little like Haku?" Shashuko giggles.

"Not really," Stephy replies.

"Shouldn't you answer some more questions soon?" Gaara asks in monotone.

"I think I will," Shashuko decides. "Why don't you and Stephy leave now? We all know how the twins love to tease Gaara. Plus Stephy you reviewed this chapter-- thank you for only doing it once-- so that would be weird. But I'll put you in all my Specials!"

"Bring Gaara too!" Stephy says, squeezing Gaara harder. He turns an interesting shade of red (heheh, stephy).

"I will. Now shoo!"

Gaara walks out through the portal, dragging Stephy along with him.

"Now!_** I summon the Ouran High Host Club! Plus Nekozawa Umehito!**__"_ says Shashuko. The Host Club, plus Nekozawa Umehito, glide through the portal, landong softly.

"What happened to your remote?" the twins ask.

"I don't need it any more! Dark-sama gave me voice activation for my portal just like she promised! To summon someone, all I have to do is speak _**italicized and in bold, like this. Also, it only answers to my voice so other people (cough, Stephy, cough) can't summon characters and mess things up.**_"

"Ah, I see." Haruhi notes. "So, who wrote the first question?"

"Well, first we have to do the reviews that I didn't answer for the last chapter, meaning the reviews that aren't Dark-sama's, _then _this chapter. In other words, folks, this one's a _double-whammy!_ And the first reviewer for the LAST chapter is **Li'l Pup**!"

**This is for Haruhi. If you had to choose between the host club or a life time supply of strawberrys, which would you pick?**

"Probably the strawberries," says Haruhi without remorse.

Tamaki, the twins, and Mori all are frozen. Hunny starts crying. Kyouya just stands there, marking something down in his notebook. (I _will_ send him through pervert rehab someday, I will. Mark my words.)

Shashuko giggles. "I knew she was gonna say that. Next is Dark-sama's review, but we've already seen that, so, now, we'll see what Lady **Lukkiester** has to say this time around."

**(Sorry, I put this in story form!!)**

**"Hi!!" screams Lukkie at an obscene volume (into Kyoya-kun's ear.)**

"Obscene volume? Where?" Kyouya asks.

"I think Kakashi stole all of them," SHashuko says. "And also, I don't mind reviews in story form."

**"My first question is to Kyoya, also known as a recent pervert and almost-raped-Haruhi!" Lukkie gets hit for bad language. "Anyway, Kyo-kogal (look it up!), in the chapter about Haruhi's fears, did you ever give away the pictures of her?"**

"No, I kept them. Why?" Kyouya questions, as if there is nothing wrong with this fact.

**"My next question is for Kaoru and Hikaru. Two questions really." Lukkie looks thoughtful, staring at Kaoru.**

**"Isn't Kaoru a girl's name? 'Little spring'?" asks Lukkie, grinning. Lukkie has forgotten his question to Hikaru, and instead, pushes him into Haruhi, forcing them to kiss.**

"It can be boy's name or a girl's name, just like Hika- ahh!" Kaoru gets pushed into Haruhi. He withdraws quickly and gives a dirty glare to Lukkie.

"Like you didn't enjoy that anyway," Shashuko taunts.

**"TAMAKI-KOGAL. You're blonde, so it works. If you're Haruhi's 'father', then why would you have a problem with her falling for another guy??" Lukkie smiles impishly.**

Tamaki looks confused.

"He's just a very overprotective father," Shashuko says. "Shame on you, Tamaki."

"I'm not overprotective!" Tamaki whines.

**Lukkie turns to Mori, and pushes randomly appearing glasses up bridge of nose like Kyoya so there's a flash of white. "You think about kissing Hunny-kun, right? Would you rather have a father-son relationship or a romantic one? I'm voting for the last one.)**

"Father-son," Mori says quickly.

**"Sorry for making this so ridiculously long!" Lukkie bows to Shashuko. "And..." Lukkie whispers in Shashuko's ear. "Uchicest." Sorry, that was kind of random. **

"Don't be ashamed! LIFE IS RANDOM! Oh, Uchihacest! Wheeeee!" Shashuko squeals.

**Before she leaves, Lukkie latches onto Kaoru and insists to put him in girl's clothing.**

"That dress looks so cute on you, Kaoru-kun," Shashuko says, imitating the Yuki Fangirls and simultaneously pulling out a yellow digital camera.

"Stop! No pictures! Can't you see he doesn't like it?" Hikaru asks, unknowing that he just quoted something awesome.

Shashuko starts laughing. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay-- hahaha-- now to see the reviewings of **bringme2life**!"

**hi! ok. straight to the questions:**

**Hosts, do any of you like to listen to American music? or more specifically, hip hop and R&B? Cuz i luv it.**

"HIP HOP!" Tamaki yells excitedly, at the same time as Shashuko.

"I like hip hop. What's R&B again?" Haruhi says.

"Sexyback!" announce the twins.

**So Haruhi. Have you ever had a boyfriend? if you didn't have you ever wanted one? (Cuz you could have one of my exs. I got plenty of them.) What boys have you've had a crush on?**

"No, I don't have a boyfriend. And I don't want one of yours." Haruhi sweatdrops.

"You can have me!" Tamaki rushes. "Daddy is all you need!"

"NO."

Shashuko snickers. "Hehe... aww, young love. Speaking of which, KYOUYA--"

"How did I get brought into this?" Kyouya asks, annoyed.

"--- Time for **Chibiharu-chan**'s review!" Shashuko grins sadistically.

**nyu naru-kun!;O; I was gonna show him to my friends before asking him to go on a date with me ;; ... oh well /**

"Oh. Well, maybe I can bring him back for you (but I'll have to tell Sasuke first this time)," Shashuko says.

**yayz I got my panties back we!beat that kyo-teme!-has a triumphant grin-**

"That's right! Grin! Grin all you can! Temes deserve to be beaten!" Shashuko pumps her fist in the air.

**and and anna-chan if u want u can call me nata-chan!:3**

**chibiharu-chan**

"Okay then. Nata-chan! BTW, don't put that many spaces in your review. I copy and paste them and that looks weird."

"Why don't you just erase the extra lines then?" Haruhi asks.

"Nah, too lazy. Now, go** Xx Tohru xXx Serahina xX**!"

**Great chapter! I loved it. You crack me up. **

**I just wanna know what everyone's favourite kind of music is.**

**Xx Tohru x Seraphina xX**

"HIP HOP!" Tamaki yells.

"EUROPOP!" shouts Shashuko (awesome alliteration... lol). "But I love music in general too and am incapable of hating a song!"

"Rap," say the twins.

"I like classical music," offers Haruhi.

"Europop, same as Shashuko! It makes me happy!" Hunny says.

"... The Pokemon theme song," says Mori.

"I always enjoyed musicals' soundtracks. Particularly 'Wicked' and 'Phantom of the Opera'..." Nekozawa's voice has an evil tone to it.

"PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! YESSH! Love that thing! And also, teh next reviewer is... steppy! AKA **just you watch**."

**DIANA... FACE MY WRATH! i am so angry! because kyouya's never gonna take over the world. know why? I AM. YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS BY NOW. GRR! i've even got it all figured out! you will bow to my power! gah! **

"It's not my fault," Shashuko whines. "Please don't kill me."

**kyoya- this IS a challenge. just you try to take over the world before me, just. you. try. **

"That I will, that I will." Kyouya pushes his glasses back so that they gleam.

**glares like only stephie can glare when thoughrally angry. dianna i beleive you know this look.**

Shashuko shakes all over. "YOU'RE A REAL HARRY POTTER FAN!!!" she screams.

Haruhi stares at the spazzing Shashuko, then shrugs.

"Ah. The next review is also from Stephanie, but under the pen name **she who must not be named**."

**I'll try to restrain myself from reviewing. sorry all you people who find my reviews a waste of time. they are. **

"Yes, they are," Shashuko says, standing up. "I'm glad your sorry. Did Gaara put you up to this by any chance? We have a bet."

**but i loved this chapter and please thank the two who vouched for a cookie for me. I am very grateful. :) **

"That's right, the Stephy Cookie Count (SCC) is 2! For now..."

**...i had something else to say, but i forgot. i'll review later. don't you hate me for it?**

"Yes, yes I do. Even though no one calls you the weasel." Shashuko giggles. "Okay, that's all the reviews for LAST chapter, so let's get to the ones for THIS chapter! Starting with this review from **chibiharu-chan**! Also known as Nata-chan... that wouldn't happen to be a play on the name Hinata becuase you like Naruto so much, now would it?"

**aww kawaii ne anna-chan ish blushing x3 I now support a new pairing it is shaku xD .. god I suck at making up pairing names xP oh and can I kick tamaki too?:D it looks like fun xD**

"Shaku... hehe... I have to remember that. And no, that's a good pairing name! Far better than the Naruto ones... gosh! Why is it called Sasunaru when it could be called like Narusuke? Or Naruhina as Hinaruto? Or something that flows better? The unimaginetive-ness of the Naruto fanbse cares me sometimes..."

**nata-chan aka chibiharu-chan**

"Whee! And now,** Lukkiester**!"

**This is actually sweet. Anyway, I want to ask Haruhi something. **

**If every guy in the host club fell for you, who would you feel worst about saying no to? Even if you didn't love him romantically.**

**I have more respect for Tamaki-san now, but the twins are still my favorite. :D**

"Probably the worst about Hunny... in those circumstances, he'd cry..." Haruhi says to herself.

"No respect?!?" Tamaki gasps.

Shashuko giggles. "Sweet? Thankies! And now for something completely different... **gliitch**'s review!"

**-Stomps in from the locked trophy room dressed in a pair of pink pajamas completely unaware of where she is carrying a 3ft golden-brown fluufy teddy bear that has a giant tartan bow under his chin- **

**That DOES it! If Bug-chan leaves ONE MORE inter-dimensional portal lying about the house I SWEAR I will KILL HIM...I was about to go to bed...**

"Buggie-chan? Oh yeah, him. DANG, he's annoying!" Shashuko agrees. "But he made the Portal (otherwise known as a PD or Plot Device), so we can't kill him." (hehe playing along. go me.)

**-Stops upon seeing the twins before turning bright red and determinedly walking past them in an attempt to pretend they aren't there and sits next to Hunny-**

**I guess I know where I am at least...do you have any cookies? I feel the distinct need to cry now that my bed has vanished**

"Here's a cookie!" Hunny hands gliitch a cookie. "They're chocolate chip!"

**Oh and Shashuko...? Could you call out Neko-chan? I have a present for him...**

"I'm right here..." Nekozawa says evilly.

**Hey Neko-chan, see this? It is large poster of Tohya Miho from Megatokyo; she is the Queen of the Undead, worship her and her hair ribbon**

Nekozawa stares at the picture. Then turns to Shashuko. "Can I meet her?"

"Sorry, she's busy helping out a certain seiyuu at the moment. But I'll give you her email, 'kay?"

"... Excellent."

**For now I'm done so I'm just gonna lie on one of the more obscure and unused sofas and sleep until Bug-chan figures out that I have growing cause to kill him**

**-Slips into a doze-**

"We'll send you home later... when I am feeling less lazy," Shashuko tells the sleeping gliitch. "Also, I have to annoy Bug-chan that I got a Voice Activation on my portal without paying him!!! Okays... **she who must not be named**!"

**BRILLIANT! yous da BEST!**

**i gotta hug gara! SQEESQEESQEESQEESQEE!**

**i's so happies!**

"Well, you hug Gaara, like, every time you see him, so... yeah. I wouldn't make my own friend OOC, now would I? I'm better than that."

**wot hugs gaara plushie key chain (which i swear i'll do soon as i get my butt of the chari and get into my room. then i'll bring him to your house! and we'll both hug him1 then we'll watch help! gaara needs help. i'll help him! SQUEE!) **

"HELP! I need somebody. HELP! Not just anybody... DANGIT! I MISS HAKU!" Shashuko says. "Oh, well! At least I still IM him."

**n e way thanx fur brinin me in it was fun. :)**

"You're welcome! It fun to watch Gaara have a Stephy hanging from his neck... it's strangely amusing. Has he let you brush his hair yet? Okays, queue **HyperFoxChild**!"

**Ye:happy circles: Hi ya'll!! (Oh crap, I did NOT just use Southern dialect...crap) I've had sugar:big grin: Well, I'm gonna jump right to it!**

"Nothing's wrong with Southern Dialect!" Shashuko says. "I use it randomly all the time! NO, wait, that's because I'm a Hillbilly Viking! Hehe."

**-Shashuko- Yay for YouTube! That's where I actually discovered Ouran, because someone had posted a video. And it made me very happy! Ohh, Haku left...wah! Have a Haku plushie...:gives you little Haku plushie: What was your first anime? Naruto? Mine was DBZ, good times. Have you ever seen the Nightmare before Christmas? I haven't, apparently I'm like the only one in the world who hasn't, cause I asked about fifty people at work today, and 42 said they had seen it and only 8 hadn't (and that includes me, yes I was keeping score) I WILL WATCH IT THOUGH!!...as soon as I can find it! Hmm...do we not like dogs? Mwahaha...I can use this...Yay for sugar! I got a free cookie and three free mini cinnamon rolls at work today!! YAAY!! Hey...Lukkie-chan got a cyber cookie...**

"Nightmare Before Christmas... watchie! Now--- WAIT! HAKU PLUSHIE!!! THANK YOU!" Shashuko hugs the Haku plushie to her Akatsuki-cloak-wearing self.

**-Hikaru- 'Sup? Did you and Kaoru ever run away from home? (Random I know, but I'm random right now.)**

The twins grin. "All the time."

**-Kyouya- Hey...you promised that one reviewer she might could get a bit of Greenland...:pout, then grin: Well...we wouldn't want some of your rivals to find out about a certain little weakness of yours, would we:REALLY evil grin: I'm sure they'd LOVE to tell some of your customers about it...of course, this can be avoided...for a small fee.**

"Don't. You. DARE." Kyouya says.

**-Nekozawa- 150 yen:sigh, is rummaging through purse (which is actually wider than I am 0o )muttering something about inflation and international rates: Fine, here's your yen. Plushie? And you didn't answer my "how many black cloaks do you actually have?" question.**

"I have Seventy-Two black cloaks. Here's your plushie."

**Now...I have a question for...**

**Da-da-da-DAA!**

**Antionette!! I need to ask Antionette a question!! But she's gotta be here! Come on! Anywho, the question is...ah...(what question do you ask a dog?!) You like to wake Tamaki up at four in the morning? (My dogs do! Grr...) Yay! Have a bone!**

"Ah... _**I summon Antoinette.**_" says Shashuko, and a very jumpy Golden Retriever jumps throught the portal and starts licking Tamaki.

It takes the bone, likes HyperFoxChild, then leaves.

"I'm sure she'd comment your questions, but DOGS CAN'T TALK!" Shashuko laughs nervously. "I'm just glad she didn't jump on ME..." she says under her breath.

**As apparent by this review I think we have all learned one very important fact...:Fox-Child is in background running in circles screaming:...never feed sugar to the animals...**

**Ja-ne!**

"And who fed YOU sugar?" the twins ask.

"It wasn't me!" Tamaki says quickly. "And the next review is from the very lovely **DarkSpiritLords**!"

"YAY!" Shashuko squeals.

**Umm...how do you like your new voice command portal? Did you see the little black button at the bottom? I dare you to press it. You will be so shocked. **

"Push the button, Max!" Shashuko laughs, pushing the button (line from the Great Race... which by the way I have never seen).

**coughHakuisontheotherlinecough**

"Well, nothing happened. What was the button for anyway?" Shashuko says to herself.

"Hi Shashuko," says Haku's voice from the portal.

"HAKU!!!!!!1!"

**You can't go through though. Have fun chatting with him. This so beats e-mail. Isn't Hell's technology cool? Except the ones in Hell allow you can go through to the other side. I didn't put that option in yours though. Its too dangerous for a human to go to the spirit world or anyone else from earth. Actually it would be even worse if they weren't from earth.**

"Aw... but still! HAKU!!! I owe you big time, Dark-sama!"

**But if you really want to see Haku, and I don't mean through the portal I could arrange for him to come here again but it'll take a while. Its nearly death season and Death is busy making preparations.**

"You mean Halloween?" Shashuko asks, tilting her head.

"I have no idea what she means," says Haku's disembodied voice.

**Lets see the next available time for him to visit...O.O...that's a long time...December 21st. However he is allowed to stay for 2 weeks. So he'll be back for Christmas.**

"YAY! CHRISTMAS!!!" Shashuko squeals. "This'll be even better than LAST Christmas!"

"What happened last Christmas?" Haku asks.

"I watched most of the Host Club series on Youtube," Shashuko points out.

**Ohh...whispers to Shashuko so that only she can hear: Why don't you catch him under the mistletoe with you on Christmas eve? Hee-hee. **

Shashuko goes bright red. "M-maybe I will..."

"What was that?" asks Haku.

"Nothing... (note to self: buy mistletoe)."

**Oh! smacks myself on the forehead I just thought of something so obvious. If you are able to bring anime characters from the past why didn't you just get Haku before he died? How can I over look something so obvious? And here I thought I was the master of logic.**

"Ah... I didn't think of it. Also, I can't do that NOW. It'd be Haku, but it wouldn't be MY Haku."

"Your Haku? That puts it pretty well." Haku notes.

"GASP HAKU! Did you just say what i think you said?"

"Probably not. You _know_ you hear things wrong so often," Haku supplies quickly. "I have to go now. I hear Zabuza-san calling me."

"Bye Haku!" Shashuko waves, even though Haku probably can't see her.

**TAMAKI YOU IDIOT! I told you not to look into Death's eyes!! You just cut off 18 years of your own life!**

"AHHH!" Tamaki turns white and falls over, completely frozen. He hits his head on the couch gliitch is sleeping on.

**Hikaru and Koaru why won't you guys pet the cute little ponies?**

"We refuse," the twins say flatly.

**Hunny do you want one of the rainbow ponies? She's pink and white. She's about 1 1/2 feet tall. She's still very young. Just a month or two old I believe. Her parents were killed by a quilin. I'll bring her in. If you want to keep her she needs a name. I don't think she was even named before her parents were killed. Its so sad. This rarely happens because most rainbow ponies can't survive without a parent. They normally die within 24 hours after their parents' death unless they are taken in by another species. Rainbow ponies will not adopt another baby rainbow pony even if they've lost their own. Sad huh?**

"That's so sad... YAY! Pony!" Hunny pets the tiny rainbow pony. "I'll call you... Nijiiro! Or Niji-chan for short!"

"'Rainbow colored?' Reeal original," the twins tease.

Hunny sticks out his tongue and hugs Niji-chan.

"So cute!!!" screams Shashuko, running over to the rainbow pony and petting its head. "KAWAII! While I obsess over Niji-chan, lessee what **Xx Tohru xXx Seraphina xX** has to say!"

**Good chapter. Update soon. Xx Tohru x Seraphina xX**

"I'm working on it!" Shashuko says cheerfully. "And now-- **summer-loven-2**!"

**Hi Everyone! First time reviewer for your fic here! Nice to meet you all! First off, No Haku is gone wha (goes to cornor of woe in my room)**

**Anywayz i'll start asking my questions and some comments now, but first:**

**WARNING: sucky spelling, ramballing, randomness, and off topics. (I really do that, i think i need help to fix those)**

"Don't worry. My spelling sucks too. And the other things are not problems," Shashuko says in a jokey tone.

**Shashuko:**

**I uber love your fic! So much better then other ones i've read! (I hope the room is big enough for you head) To tell the truth i'm not a huge Yaoi fan, but i do like the fan art people make of Tamaki and Kyoya (big smile) and i do read them sometimes when I can't find any straight pairngs i like or when bored. I guess I prefer to watch it then read it. I would like to recomend some anime to you! one is called Gravitation!! You'll absolutly love it! It's Yaoi so you'll like it. YUKI IS SO HOT!! Not Yuki on Fruba (even though he is hot) Also try Prince of tennis. I know what you're think 'an anime about tennis? that's not exciting' For starters tennis is awesome, but that's not my point right now. THE GUYS ON IT ARE HOT!! EVEN HOTTER THEN ALL THE HOST MEMBERS PUT TOGETHER.**

"I see. I've actually read the first couple of books, and I like it. I think only the main guy-- Arima?-- is all that cute though."

**Hunni, Mori, Kyoya:**

**I love you three!! You know why?!? Cause whith your personalities combined makes my Daddy! Weird right?! My dad is like hunni Cause he loves sweets (even though he's diabetic(i no sp)), he's like Mori cause he's tall and silent most of the time, and Kyoya cause he's smart and perverted!!lol**

"Your father is a pervert? How horrible!" Tamaki gasps.

Haruhi almost comments on this, but decides to not say anythign and just STARE at him.

**Hunni, do you like cheese cake? It's uber yummy (hands cake to hunni)**

"Cheese cake!" Shashuko gasps. She and Hunny finish the entire cake in under a minute.

"That was sooo good!" Hunny says, rubbing his stomache.

**Mori, if a girl would somehow make you really made would you hit her?**

**P.s I LOVE YOU MORI!!**

"... How mad? ... Thank you."

**Kyoya, you're sick -.- but I still love you! You are so sadistic. You remind me of Oshitari Yuushi on PoT. He's my second fav on the Hyoutei team. I like to think of that team as another Host club. hehe**

"Who on what?" Kyouya asks.

"You on dope," Shashuko snickers.

**Hikaru and Kaoru**

**I love you pranks!! Can you guys dye Tamaki's hair neon green!! So Shashuko can laugh her but off at the struggle. Oh one more thing, I don't see why people can't tell you guys apart, except for Haruhi, she's a genius on the whole one level meaner thing! I tell you guys apart by your voices and mannerism. I can never dicide which one i like better. I love you both!**

Hikaru nods at Kaoru. They both pull out a can of green hairspray and loom over Tamaki menacingly.

"Nooooo!" Tamaki yells as the twins chase him around, spraying the cans.

"My carpet..." Shashuko sobs. "It's almost like it's that door in Furuba! It keeps getting messed up."

The twins manage to get Tamaki eventually, and Shashuko laughs her butt off as predicted.

**Haruhi**

**I don't know how you do it, but i find it amazing that can live through what the other Host's do. Oh, would you date Arai? I think you would be so cute with him! Much better then being stuck with one of the others.**

"Arai-kun? Well, I don't like him that way, sorry. But, you're right. He would be better than any of _these..._" she gestures at the Host Club. "And living through it? I don't know how I do it either." she sighs.

**Tamaki**

**Je t'aime!! Vous etes le milleur!**

**translation: I love you! You are the best!**

**What is france like? I so want to go there! On my list of places to go France is my second. Japan would be my first! Oh and I think your mother is pretty you look alot like her! OH fruba ref. Sons tend to look like their mothers while Daughters tend to look like their dads! That applies to me cause I look a lot my daddy! I find it really cute that you care for Haruhi like a daughter! GO DADDYS!**

"Furuba ref Furuba ref! I look like my Daddy too!" Shashuko sings.

"Thank you! I _am_ the best! That is why I'm the _Host Club King!_" Tamaki shouts.

**Anywayz sorry if this is long , but at least it's not as long as the other. Well Bye Bye! oh one more thing Hyuugacest is the best!!**

Mori smiles and nods.

"Bye bye! You're the chapter's last reviewer-- you get a cyber cookie!" Shashuko throws a cyber cookie at summer-loven-2.

"And now, back to the problem of gliitch KO'd on the sofa..." Shashuko says. Everyone sweatdrops.

Just then, Bug-chan comes through and grabs gliitch.

"Lookie, Buggie-chan! I have a Voice Activation and it's NOT from you!" Shashuko laughs triumphantly. "HAHAHA!"

Bug-chan glares, slings gliitch over his shoulder, and then leaves.

"Well, that takes care of that problem. Hosties OUT!"

The Host Club characters leave through the portal (very quickly might I add).

Shashuko sits for awhile, trying to whistle (I wish i had the Sharingan... then I could watch my friends whistle, then copy them). After awhile, Gaara enters the room, dragging Stephy, who is still hanging from his neck, and followed by his older sister, Temari.

"... And that's why pizza makes Gaara cry," Temaru says hyperishly.

"That's so sad!" Stephy says, squuezing Gaara mroe than she already is.

Gaara glares at Temari. "Temari. Leave."

Temari gasps. "Y-yes Gaara."

"Let me guess... she wasn't supposed to tell Stephy that?"

"Yes," Gaara sighs, sitting down on the couch.

"Stephanie, I love you too. Now please get off me."

"No."


	12. I'm Back! Be Afraid Be Very Afraid

Shashuko is sitting, typing Naruto fanfiction which isn't all that good, giggled to herself evilly. "I almost feel bad for Kon... almost."

Stephanie (the Great and Terrible) runs through the portal and hits Shashuko upside the head.

"ITAI! What was that for?"

"Diaaanaaaaa! When was the last time you updated 'Ask the Hosts?' SEPTEMBER SEVENTH! THAT'S WHEN!!! Now be a good minion and do more." Stephy smiles sweetly.

Shashuko runs her (highly) injured head and nods. "Undertsood, Stephy-sama..."

She takes a deep breath.

_**"I summon Tamaki Suouh, Fujioka Haruhi, Haninozuka Mitsukuni, Morinozuka Takashi, Ootori Kyouya, Nekozawa Umehito, and Hitachiin twins Hikaru and Kaoru." **_Said anime characters float through the portal and gently touch down. Stephy nods in approval and then leaves.

"Good afternoon," Shashuko says pleasantly.

"SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH HER!!!" the twins yell. "SHE'S ALL CALM!"

"What's wrong with that?" Shashuko smiles again, but there's a little anger mark on her forehead if you look closely (Shashuko rules of life, number 27: if you must get angry, get angry like Sohma Yuki-san.)

Haruhi just stares. "Um... the first review's from **chibiharu-chan**."

**omg u would really do that yayz!-glomps anna-chan-**

At the glomp, Shashuko is brought out of her (drunken?) stupor and giggles. "Of course I would!" she says, hugging Nata-chan (chibiharu's nickname-thingy) back. "That's becuase you're my buddy!"

"She's normal again," say the twins in monotone. "What was with that, anyway?!?"

"I can be calm too. I'm just usually NOT in fanfiction, because being loud is so much more fun. But I'm starting writing this on a Sunday, so I'm in a calmish mood." Shashuko nods. "Mm-hmm. Oh yeah. That's how it goes."

**no the reason y it nata-chan cause my name is NATALIE xD-she grins while saying this- I didn't even realizes that hinata last four letter of her name is the same as the first four letter of my name xD**

"Heh heh sorry, my mistake," Shashuko giggles. "I am such a smooth brain sometimes (anyone besides stephy who gets this insult, 'smooth brain', gets a cookie too). "I thought Hinata might have something to do with it, because you seem to like Naruto. My bad."

**and um I know I may sound wierd since this is an anime fic but could u bring in Demyx from Kingdom Hearts please?-uses chibi eyes of kawainess- (yes I do know that I seem to have crushes on blonds except for ouran cause for ouran it hikaru -sweatdrop-)**

"I have no idea who that is," Shashuko says blankly.

"Don't let Hikaru stop you! LOVE ME!!!" Tamaki yells.

Shashuko stares at him for a moment, then knocks him out with a kick to the head. "That's better," she says, smirking. "Now for... **gliitch**'s review!"

**That was a good sleep...you have comfy sofas where did you buy them?**

"I bought them at the Furuba Fanbase Warehouse," Shashuko informs gliitch.

**Check it out -shows picture of Bug-chan running from Tohya's zombie hoards- Evil as she is she is an EXCELLENT friend ne?**

"I'll drink to that!" Shashuko pulls out a bottle of root beer and takes a long swig.

**Thank you for the cookie Hunny-senpai! I love chocolate chip!**

"You're welcome!" Hunny says cheerfully.

**-Spots twins out the corner of her eye and looks away determined to ignore them whilst blushing profusely-**

**-Has found a good distraction- Kyoya! Keep your notebook under lock and chain! And yourself for that matter! My master is completely infatuated by your charms and as she is my master has commanded me to write the MSO series; she intends to marry you and since it's a wish from Yuuko-san there is nothing to be done! And she must steal one thing from one hot guy in every anime she visits and so she's going to steal your notebook before she comes back 20 chapters later to marry you! Be careful!**

Kyouya has no idea what gliitch is talking about, but he can tell from her tone that it's very bad.

"What's MSO? A fanfiction?" Shashuko asks excitedly.

**-Whimpers in realisation that gaijojin-sama is probably going to punish her for releasing such information- Never mind what I say Kyoya-sama, I haven't had my medication today...-hopes he buys it-**

**Well I managed to stay away from the twins at least...**

"You stayed away from me and Tamaki, too (lucky girl, I wish I could stay away from Tamaki)," says Haruhi.

"Why is she so intent on staying away from us, Hikaru?" Kaoru asks his older brother in a little-boy voice.

"Because, Kaoru, we scare her with our symmetry," Hikaru replies.

Shashuko stares at them, thinking yaoi-ish thoughts, for about a minute, then remember that she has something to say.

"And now, a review from **kyouyaishot**!"

"Thank you, I know," Kyouya says to Shashuko.

"No you jerk, it's in the pen name!" Shashuko groans.

**haruhi if you had to marry one of the host club members who would it be?**

"I think I've already covered this," Haruhi sighs, "If I had to pick one it would be Mori, since he doesn't ever annoy or scare me."

"Please don't ask that question anymore..." Shashuko whines. "Questions like that are grating on my psyche. You see, since I don't particularly support one Haruhi pairing or another, I won't support one since I like them all. So, typing the answers bugs me."

"That makes sense," says Sabaku no Gaara (haha stephy bet you jumped there), coming through the portal, with Stephy hanging from his neck as usual.

"Gaara, what is it? I'm a little busy here," Shashuko sighs, then brightens up at the sight of her friend. "Hi Stephy!"

Stephy waves, then begins chanting a mantra of 'gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara...'

"What is it?" Gaara asks the blonde gaara-obsessed person.

"Nothing!"

"Unless you have something to say, please leave. This is almost as bad as when you were constantly reviewing. Only it's worse becuase I brought it on myself!"

"You finally get it," sighs Stephy as she and Gaara (the former still clinging to the latter) leave again. "Bye bye!"

"Bye! Sayounara! Ja ne!" Shashuko calls after them, grinning. "The next review's from **Xx Tohru xXx Seraphina xX**!"

**Heyya Dianna-chan! I loved this chapter it was amazing! I just thought of two questions for the whole club including Neko-chan: If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?**

"I'd go to Japan.." says Shashuko whistfully.

"I'd like to see London," Haruhi says.

"We're rich! We've been everywhere!" all of the males in the room call.

**If you were trapped on a desert island, who would you like to be trapped with?**

"Haruhi," says Tamaki.

"Haru-chan!" says Hunny.

"Mistukuni," says Mori.

"Haruhi," say the twins.

"Tamaki, since I've already taken him everywhere else," Kyouya scoffs. "His antics can be... amusing at times."

"Bereznoff," Nekozawa says. "Or Haruhi."

"Why does everyone seem to be picking me?" Haruhi asks herself.

**And, one last question for Haruhi; I need your help. I get stressed really easily, and you seem so calm most of the time. How do you cope with all your stress?**

**Thank you so much! Love the fic. You're so awesome Dianna-chan! Now I'm off to go and wish my Grandma a Happy 90th Birthday! Bye bye!**

"Congrats for your Grandma! And yes, I am awesome. Or at least, so you all keep telling me. Next review from **Lukkiester**!"

**Lukkie appears on top of Kaoru through the hole. She scrambles off, poking Kyoya in the stomach then stealing his glasses and smashing them.**

**"Sorry," she says sheepishly as she turns to Haruhi. "Anyway, If you had to turn away all but one of the Host Club, who would you feel worst about turning away, even if you didn't love them?"**

"Probably Hunny, becuase he's probably cry."

"My glasses..." groans Kyouya.

"My sanity!!!" shrieks Shashuko, laughing hysterically.

**Lukkie stares at Hikaru. "And... You're a wuss, but you're my favorite paring with Haruhi."**

"I'm not a wuss," Hikaru says, blushing at the Haruhi comment.

**Lukkie uses her own portal of darkness to summon a random game character named Kratos Aurion. After glomping Kratos, she takes his sword and smashes in Tamaki's skull with the hilt.**

Tamaki moans in pain.

"Aww man, this'll look bad on my resume," Shashuko grumbles. "I guess I'll go see if Tsunade-sama will heal him... later."

**"Byeah!" she pauses, "Awesome chapter, Shashuko!"**

**Lukkie disappears through the portal with Kratos, where she goes to wreak havoc in the world of Symphonia.**

"Have fun in Symphonia!" Shashuko yells after them. "And now's... **summer-loven-2**!"

**Yeah thanks for adding my review! (gives more cheese cake) oh I forgot to say last time but my dad is also blood AB! WooHoo! and wears glasses. Yes my father is a perv, but he's not as bad a Kyoya and his panti fetish, which I find disturbing, but at the some time sexy. **

"How can perversion be sexy? It's, like, the exact opposite of sexy," Shashuko says. "... Not that I'm one to talk, having a crush on someone as girly-looking on Haku..."

**Kyoya:**

**Oops let me explain about the PoT thing, it's just an acronim (sp i no) for Prince of Tennis aka PoT. Lol Kyo-chan's on dope!! That might explain a few things! Hey Kyo-chan were you on it when you tried to rape Haruhi?**

"No..." Kyouya says quickly.

**Shashuko:**

**speaking of PoT, Did you no you are using a ref. from it. Well, you are. It's the 'young love' you keep on saying.**

"Actually, I was quoting my friend Aya. Not from Fruits Basket! If you read my Naruto fanfiction, Kon-kun or Ouji-sama is based off of her."

"Stop advertising your Naruto fic. It's no good," say the twins.

"Put Hyuugacest," Mori says.

"Uchihacest," Shashuko says automatically.

**Mori:**

**Like if she were to insult Hanni or your family name kind of mad? I know if i had your skills i would beat the poop out of anyone who messes with my family! But sadly i don't, so i just cuse at them at kick them in the shin. YES!! Huugacest Rulz!!**

"I would... destroy them." Mori says simply.

"Hyuugacest..." Shashuko shakes her head. "I can imagine the reasoning. After all, Neji has to_ protect Hinata. _But still, I don't think the chemistry for those two would be too good... I like NejixTenten, myself, and maybe NejixOC is it's well written." she giggles. "But then, I'll read almost anything if it's well written."

**Hikaru and Kaoru:**

**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! can you guys try to make Mori smile? Cuz he reminds me of those British gaurds that stand still and don't do anything.**

"Mori-sempai... Pokemon."

Mori smiles.

Shashuko furrows her brows (which are not huge and not stolen from Gaara, hee hee). "Those British guards that stand still and don't do anything? That line reminds me of this thing I saw in a part of an Austin Powers movie I saw on TV once... heheh."

**Tamaki:**

**you're mean you didn't answer my question about france! I feel so neglected! (goes to cornor of woe) people always forgets me.**

"What question? I am genuinely sorry!" Tamaki gasps.

"I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day..." Shashuko quotes. (poor unfortunate souls, ouran amv, commoner coffee productions, look it up NOW.) "Eheh, sorry, I do that sometimes. Gomen nasai!"

**Question for everyone:**

**What would be your final words be before you die?**

"I'm too young to die!" Tamaki gasps.

"We'd say... we'd say whatever that Weasley twin that died said," say the twins, "to annoy Shashuko."

"I'd want cake!" Hunni says (to eat a whole cake-- get crazy-- with frosting! _i wanna be like othes girls_-- _sorry. now I'm in a disney-princess-ish mood right now_).

"Goodbye..." says Mori.

"I'd probably attempt to sing that song from Sounds of Music-- _So long, farewell, I'll even say adieu-- adieu, adieu, to you and you and you, doo-doo doodoo doo doo doo doo, doo-doo doodoo du-doo_. Or maybe I'd quote Haku-chan! _I'm sorry, but I can't die just yet._" Shashuko giggles in fangirlish joy.

Nekozawa chuckles. "Quoth the raven: nevermore."

"Neko-chan, that's Edgar Allen Poe, right?" Shashuko asks. "I love that poem!"

"But of course." Nekozawa stares at her like she's stupid (she is!).

"I have no idea what I'd say as my last words. I'm beginning to think that it might be something like 'I should've tried to pay off my debt some other way'," says Haruhi, glaring at the Host Club.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well said!" laughs Shashuko.

Tamaki turns white and crumples into a ball.

**Ok i'm done! Oh wait i forgot hunni! (gives 3 huge cakes)**

"Thank you!" Hunny cheers. "Takashi, Haruhi, Shashuko, want some cake?"

"Yes, please!" Shashuko says quickly. "But first-- a review from **neriamisia**!"

**Everyone: what are your parents like? **

"Our dad is shy, like us," say the twins, with no one believing the fact that they are shy (they're too Weasley-ripp-offish!). "And our Mom has an artistic flair."

"They're nothing like their dad," Haruhi says flatly. "My Dad's like... well, you met him, remember? He was here a few chapters ago. My mom I don't remember very well, but she was a lawyer. A good one, from what I hear."

"My mother is the most wonderful person in the world!" Tamaki sings. "And my father likes teasing me." He goes into his Corner of Woe.

Kyouya glares. "My parents are none of your business."

Tamaki gasps. "KYOUYA! Could it be that the stories you have to tell are too horrendous for the reader's eyes?"

Kyouya just keeps glaring.

Hunny smiles. "Dad is really, really serious! All the time! And's he's short like me! My mom is really, really hyper! All the time! And she's cute just like me!"

Mori looks into the distance. "Father... kind. Mother... LOUD."

Everyone stares. (a/n: if we meet Mori's parents in the manga, then never mind. Same for Hunny's mom).

Nekozawa chuckles evilly. "My mother and father share my love of cats, of course," he says. "And, of course, my mother is a dark magician of the highest degree. My father has no powers of this kind, but he sees spirits every now and again."

Tamaki whimpers and edges away.

**Neko, are your parents like you or Kirimi or both? Would you become grey for Kirimi?**

Nekozawa sweatdrops. "I just said... my mother and father share my love of cats. And, of course, my mother is a dark magician of the highest degree. My father has no powers of this kind, but he sees spirits every now and again. ... As for being similiar to Kirimi, Mother was, in fact, quite the Otaku when she was young. She says her favorite manga was 'The Dreaming.' "

Shashuko sweatdrops. "_Was_ quite the Otaku? 'The Dreaming' is a recent manga, Neko-chan."

Nekozawa looks thoughtful for a moment. "As for becoming grey... if she really wanted me to, I suppose I might. But she seems to be happy with me as I am now."

**Satoshi what happened to your taste buds? I think you are awsome by the way :)**

Shashuko clears her throat. _**"I summon Morinozuka Satoshi!"**_

Satoshi appears through the portal. "Huh?" He notices Mori. "Niichan?"

Mori gestures to the review screen. "Answer the question, Satoshi."

"Okay!" Satoshi reads the question, then sighs. "My taste buds? I haven't lost them! I just have a lot less than most people do." He turns to Shashuko. "Can I go now?"

"Yes you _may_," Shashuko hints as Satoshi leaves without waiting for an answer. "Sorry 'bout his rudeness neria-chan. That's just the way he rolls."

**Ranka, a friend thinks you used to be a cute and handsome guy "Why did you have to be an okama?!? cries" she said. Were you an okama as a kid?**

"She wants Ranka!" Shashuko yells. "Hide the pervert!"

The twins wrap Tamaki up in toilet paper and stuff him behind the couch.

_**"I summon Fujioka Ranka!" **_Shashuko says. "Man, this voice activation thingy is awesome! It never gets old."

Ranka appears. "Shashuko-chan!" he hugs Shashuko. "Have you been taking care of my daughter?"

"I like to think I am," Shashuko laughs. "Anyway, we have a question for you!" She points at the question.

Ranka reads the question, then shakes his head. "I was always bi, but I only started dressing like this recently, after my wife died." he smiles. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." he approaches the couch and leans over take a picture of the toilet-paper-encoated Tamaki, then leaves. "Thank you for inviting me!" he calls as he exits through the portal.

**Kyouya I happen to know a very cool little girl who is more evil and a bigger genius than you. She would definately be a supreme dictator if she thought it was worth the trouble. Her connections are even more powerful than your secret police and fangirls. You wouldn't stand a chance against her hehe**

"Sure..." Kyouya says unbelievingly. "Sure I won't."

**Antionette you are so cute! hugs Tama you are so lucky to have a dog**

_**"I summon Antoinette!**__" _Shashuko says, sounding a little scared.

The dog comes out and attacks Shashuko with licks. "AHHH! Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff!!!"

Antoinette notes the comment and barks her appreciation, then leaves.

**Haku hows the afterlife? You having fun with Zabuza? I just read naruto and a realize your awsomeness. If you were here I'd glomp you but I'll have to make do with an air glomp :) **

Shashuko grins and presses the Haku Button. (yay Haku!)

"Hakuuuu!" she calls.

"Yes, Shashuko?" answers the ever-so-awesome bishie that is Haku.

"You have a question!" Shashuko read Haku the question.

"The afterlife is just fine! We have email down here now so I can IM Shashuko. Which is nice," he notes. "Zabuza-san is good too. We're going to egg Gatou's cage later on. How dare he insult Zabuza-san--!!!" Haku's voice seems to calm down a bit. "And thank you for calling me awesome. I don't know if I am though..."

"You are," Shashuko says with finality. "The last part just says--"

**GAARA!**

"Oh no," Haku says. "Competition for Stephy! Don't let Stephy read that."

"Too late," Shashuko says sheepishly.

Gaara stuck his head through the portal. "Yep, too late." then he disappears.

"Eheh..." Shashuko says. "Thanks for the questions, neria-chan! ... And now to hear from the future ruler of Hell, **darkspiritlords**!"

**Wait! When you pressed the button weren't you able to see Haku? I thought I made it so you can see through the portal? Grr...I'm gonna have to have a talk with those demons...Anyways I'll have it fixed up in a sec. Summons about 20 demons Fix the portal so Shashuko can see through the other end and those on the other end can see her. If you mess up then you have to play THE GAME with me. - The demons shiver in fear and work extra fast and carefully after hearing this. **

Shashuko steps away from the portal so she's doesn't get in the demon's way, then represes the button.

We see Haku through the portal, wearing his usual green turtleneck-kimono ensemble.

"HAKU!" Shashuko squeals.

**Hmm…someone is threatening Kyouya…Should I help you or leave it be? I can get rid of your weakness before you can say superfluous correctly. Which most people can't even after months of trying. They normally mess up around fluous. Anyways if you want it gone just blow the whistle I gave you a while ago and Aarron will pick you up. Ahh! NO! Actually I'm coming too. Who knows what will happen if you and Aarron are alone together. It'll be worse then when Chibiharu beat you up. A million times worse. Also, YOU KNOW GERMAN?!**

"Of course I know German," Kyouya says, "It's a good language for yelling at people in to scare them."

"Guten morgen!" Shahsuko says, grinning.

"You're saying it wrong," is Kyouya's response.

**Hunny why does it say Devil Usa on one of your hoodies?**

"It's a Sailor Moon reference, from when Chibi-Usa was evil," Hunny explains. "Takashi bought it for me."

**And how come you have unexpected cravings for spicy things?**

"Just because I like sweet food a lot doesn't mean it's the only thing I like! Just most of what I like. Not to mention there are Thai curries that are bo th sweet and spicy!" Hunny explains.

"Coconut curry! Bow before its awesome!" Shashuko cheers.

**Is it just me or do a lot of the hosts like spicy food?**

"We're devilish! Of course we like spicy food!" The twins say.

"I've always been a fan of those Thai curries myself," Kyouya notes, "They're especally good while in Thailand."

"Rich bastards," Haruhi and Shasuko mutter.

"Spicy food! Noooooo!" Tamaki goes into his Corner of Evil.

"... Spicy food? I don't mind," Mori notes.

**Oh Mori I feel so bad for not talking to you. Would it help if I say that you're my friend's favorite character out of everyone? Umm…lets see…in the book it says that one of your favorite foods is fermented natto soybeans. I'll send you a bunch of those as an apology. I'm sorry!**

"Thank you for the soybeans," Mori says politely.

**Ahh! Haruhi too! Lets see…it says you really want a laptop. I'll send you one of hell's most advanced ones. You can actually just talk and it types for you! That and it comes with the choice of you typing manually. And the best part is its idiot-proof so any idiot like Tamaki can't mess with it and accidentally erase some thing. And its as light as a feather so you can carry it around anywhere. Weather proof to anything too, never heats up so it stays nice and cool. Hack proof too! So that lets say Kyouya wants to go into your private files it'll destroy his laptop or computer instead. I have also had magical tracker set permanently on it so if it gets stolen I can activate the emergency shut down button. Or I can just poof it back to you. There's a whole bunch of other things but there's too many to list. You'll figure it out or something. You like? Man I love hell's techology!!**

"Wow..." Haruhi says in awe of her new laptop. "It's beautiful... thank you!"

**Does anyone else want something? **

**Also Shashuko. Yay!! You updated so fast!! I'm so happy!! -**

**I hope I didn't forget anything...**

"Not this time I didn't!' Shashuko laughs. "Don't worry, I think I might be back on the ball now! Especially because answering your question is my favorite thing to do between poss while I RP!"

"RPing for the soul," Mori agrees.

SHashuko smiles happily. "Well, dark-sama, I am in your debt again."

"Didn't Gaara say something like that?" Mori muses. "In the latest Shippuuden?"

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" Shashuko yells. "And now... the review typed by the finger of princessstephanie! One of the three Stephanies on whose name I know is Stephanie!"

**Wow, funny chapter. I love how someone summoned Tamaki's dog. Whoever did that, I give you props. Anyway, question time! This time I'm prepared to ask a lot of questions.**

Shashuko gives a thumbs-up (and her teeth glint). "Ask away, my youthful comrade!"

**Haruhi: What is more annoying when Tamaki is being.. Tamaki or when your father acts just like him?**

"Tamaki," says Haruhi, "Definitely Tamaki. My father is my father, so even though he's a little different I can put up with him, but Tamaki is just an idiot," she says cutely.

Tamaki turns white and falls over, then crawls into the Corner of Depression.

**Mori: Is what you just said true? Do you really love the Pokemon theme song? If so I so bow down to you!**

Mori nods, smiling slightly.

**Kaoru:whispers so the others wont hear: Would you really be all that happy if your brother realized his feelings for Haruhi?**

Kaoru turns white. "Well..." he whispers... "I happen to like Haruhi myself, so... that would in fact make me sad. This whole situation is like those commoner Soap Operas that Tamaki's been watching!"

Shashuko leans in to hear the part about Tamaki and Soap Operas.

"Tamaki! Do you know the show 'Chuck' on NBC that shows new episodes on Monday nights?" she asks.

"I love that show!" Tamaki says.

"My sister thinks Sarah is realy Chuck's old girlfriend!" Shashuko laughs.

"Me too!" says Tamaki.

Shashuko stares at him... "SAND WORM!"

"Yay!" says Tamaki.

**Hikaru: Are you going to go trick or treating this year? If so what is your costume going to be? Wait... do rich kids even go trick or treating?**

"Maybe rich kids in America do, but in Japan we don't really celebrate Halloween that much," Hikaru laughs. "A good deal of us rich kids have parties, true, but no trick-or-treating as of yet."

"That sucks," Shashuko says. "I feel bad for you all!" (and for myself--- I got way less than usual... dang I'm greedy!)

**Nekozawa: If you had to choose between giving up your beloved puppet or sister which would it be?**

"My sister!" Nekozawa gasps. "I love Bereznoff but I would always give him up before I would give up my sister!"

"Bleh heh heh," Shashuko adds.

**and lastly Hunny: I know about your brother and how you two get along, but how's your relationship with your parents? Are they ok with you acting like a little child all over again?**

"They're a little wierded out," Hunny says. "But they'll warm up to me in time!"

Shashuko makes a :D face. "Thanks for the questions Princess! And now-- she who must not be---- STEPHY!!! YOU LITTLE--"

**hi dianna, i liked this one. (i finally read it) also- i need help ont he ouran fic again. AGAIN. give me a plot, dangit! (i can't ever think of anything. you always can, but NEVER WRITE IT i hate when you do that. oh well.) **

Shashuko shrugs. "...Send them to the beach? I've got an idea for mine but I'm using it." she sticks her tongue out.

"Oh no! She's gonna start writing American Otaku again?" the twins gasp. "WE'RE DOOMED!"

"SILENCE WEASLEY RIP-OFFS!" Shashuko roars.

**anyway! now back to YOUR awesome fanfic! (becasue it is) **

**as for brushing gaara's hair, sadly the closest i've gotten was that one time combing through brandon's hair. (it reminds me of gaara's. just a little, though.)**

**ok.**

**nothing else to say. **

**i'll just go read more of your naruto fic. (you said you updated that, right?)**

"There are currently seven chapters Stephy, and I have in fact sent all of them to you," Shashuko says in monotone. "But by all means go read it again! Wow, this review is from like September..."

"That's what you get for not writing about us!" Tamaki whines.

"Oh shut up! I'm trying to get back on the ball with this fic and American Otaku, not to mention my new Ranma crossover with you guys! Be grateful!" Shashuko pulls Temari's (giant) fan out of th portal and swings it at Tamaki, then sends it back.

Shashuko takes a minute to calm down... "Sorry. That creative outburst was due to frustration with Tamaki. And now an anon review... **neriamisia**--- Oh, it's Neria-chan again!" Shashuko cheers the last part.

**Everyone: did you ever get lost in your homes before? What is your idea of a perfect girlfriend/boyfriend? What is your most memorable moment?**

"Why would I get lost in a house?" Kyouya asks, glaring daggers. "And as for the perfect significant other... well... someone with an amusing personality, I suppose. And as for my most memorable moment... when Tamaki first saw the kotatsu."

"Aww..." says Shashuko.

"First, he made this really happy expression, then he fainted dead away," Kyouya chuckles.

"Our most memorable moment was when Milord discovered Haruhi was a girl!" The twins (cough---weasley-ripoffs--- cough) hoot. "It was hilarious! The perfect girlfriend would be someone willing to share both of us and didn't mind our pranks."

"Most memorable...?" Hunny asks. "Tama-chan when he explained to me about true strength. And the perfect girlfriend is of course Haru-chan! Because she;s nice and cute and funny! But I don't like her that way." (lol I think Hunny's in denial O.o)

"... When Mistukuni lost his first tooth," Mori says. "... perfect girlfriend? Someone I could make happy."

"When Kirimi accepted me!" Nekozawa says happily. "And the perfect girlfriend would have to be... someone... who accepted me as well."

"There are sooo many good ones... but Host-Club related? When dark-sama brought me Haku! Who by the way is my ideal of the perfect boyfriend."

"When I found out my mother had died," Haruhi's tone is sad... "As for the perfect boyfriend, I don't generally thinks about that sort of thing."

"All girls are ideal girlfriends! My most memorable moment was when I left France and my mother," Tamaki says. "She was waving..." his eyes get moist.

"Do you need a hug?" Shashuko asks, holding out a short brunette girl from nowhere. "Hug Sarah! She's so huggable!" Tamaki takes Sarah and hugs her.

"Wow... she IS huggable!" Tamaki gasps. He hugs Sarah tighter.

"DIANNA!" Sarah shouts at Shashuko. "WHY AM I HERE?!?"

"Tamaki needed a hug," Shashuko says. Sarah glares and Shashuko whimpers.

"And now he doesn't," she says, pulling Sarah away from Tamaki, much to his chagrin. Sarah walks out throught the portal veyr quickly, muttering about crazy blondes who are hugging fiends.

**Eclair: Are you ok after being dumped? How did Tamki's mother react when he stayed in Japan?**

Shashuko speaks to the portal. "_**I summon Eclair!**_Man, this never gets old!"

Eclair reads the question... "I'm fine. I kind of brought the whole situation on myself..." she says meekly.

"Opening of the mind!" Shashuko gives two thumbs up. "Good on you! What about Tamaki's mother?"

"I've actually given her Tamaki's adress so she can send him letters, just this morning," Eclair answers.

"Wow, Tamaki! Your influence has actually helped her a lot!" Haruhi is amazed that Tamaki's influence can, in fact, be a good thing.

Tamaki gasps at Haruhi's actions. "How is that strange? My influence is always a good thing!"

"Ummm... next question!" Shashuko says quickly, wanting to avoid a fight.

**Hunny: when did you get Usa-chan? How did you react if it was when you tried to be uncute? Do you like expensive or commoner cakes better?**

"I got Usa-chan when I was just a baby! So Usa-chan was one of the things I put into those crates. ...I like all cakes!"

"Hunny, answer the question. No one's going to be insulted," Haruhi sighs.

"Well... I liked those strawberry cakes we brought to Haruhi's house. Those were really, really good!" Hunny cheers.

**Haruhi:whats your favorite meal to make and eat?**

"I like making onigiri..." Haruhi says. "Especially the ones with the little plums in them..."

"To cute!" Tamaki says.

**Chikachika:I dare you to hug Hunny. Manly men can hug aliens, prove your manliness**

_**"I summon Haninozuka Yasuchika!"**_

Chika reads the question, then shivers.

He hugs Hunny quickly, and then they start fighting. Hunny wins and Chika leaves (waving as he does so)

**Kyouya: Don't come after Emma (evil friend) even though she's little and adorable she is very powerful so if you do you might get hurt. She dosen't like males much and she loathes perverts, you better fix up your problem soon. She also says that you better learn to master your soul. She thinks its cute of you pretending to be a supernatural demon lord when you're just a human, but you should balance yourself out. Kyokyo, you shouldn't be so greedy it is way to corrupting and it clouds judgement. Also you shouldn't rely on fear to control people (it dosen't always work). She isn't interested in taking over the world, she's more interested in hell so don't mess with her. I told her to get more expierience before trying to take over hell so it's safe for a few years. Currently she is taking her break from conquest of the other dimensions. I don't know if Dark-sama has heard of her or not but I suggest she makes a deal with Emma so Emma doesn't take hell completely in the future. She's really polite and reasonable when she wants to be.**

Kyouya raises his eyebrows, but he says nothing.

**Nekozawa:Emma's older sister Amy thinks you are hot and sweet. She's had to be restrained from going to one of Emma's vampire realms to get bitten so she can join your black magic club. Poor Amy, she wants to be evil but she is just too cute and sunshine-like, not even grey material.**

**Give Stephy a cookie! Me too please :)**

"Stephy cookies count--- 4 I think!" Shashuko says. "Neria-chan cookie count-- 1! Just kidding. Here's your cookie! And actually I've given Stephy a lot of cookies recently... or at least, small bits of cookies..." she chuckles. "Speaking of which-- this one last review is from Stephy's fanfic account! Go read her stories! Her penname is: **stephy-chan**!"

**hi dianna. **

**i feel like asking a question.**

**but all questions escape me. **

**so wait a minute while i think of something...**

**Haruhi- did you ever go camping with your dad when you were small?**

**anyone who cares to answer- do you like banana bread**

"My mom, my dad and I used to go camping every summer," Haruhi says.

"--And now since your mother is dead you don't?!?" Tamaki sobs.

"No, we stopped after awhile because the bugs are getting worse every year. But that was before mother died."

"BANANA BREAD!" Hunny and Shashuko cheer.

**okay im out of questions. HOW DO PEOPLE THINK OF QUESTIONS**

"I haven't the faintest clue how they think of these questions either..." Shashuko thinks for a minute. "...HEY! ANYONE WHO ANSWERS STEPHY'S QUESTION GETS A CHEWY BAR ANY FLAVOR, ON ME!"

"That was the last review..." the twins say. "Can we go now?"

"Yes you MAY," Shashuko says.

Everyone runs out.

"Wow, that was fun," Shashuko notes. "I need to keep doing this! So, my friends, if anyone still has any faith in me left at all please ask a question!"

Gaara walks in through the portal, with Stephy hanging from his neck as always. "Did someone say something about Banana bread?"

"Sorry, I'm fresh out."

"Okay then." Stephy and Gaara leave.

Shashuko grins sheepishly. "And, like I said, I'm sorry I didn't do this sooner! Happy belated Halloween!"

The camera fades out playing the song 'Old Time Rock and Roll' by Bob Seger.


	13. OMG AN ACTUAL UPDATE! Happy Thanksgiving

Shashuko is sitting in the middle of the room, looking bored.

"I can't type..." she whines. "My finger is swollen..." her eyes light up.

"Oh! I'll contact Haku!" the blonde idiot (not Tamaki in this case) skips over and presses the Haku Button.

Haku's image appears on the surface of the portal. "Oh. Hi, Shashuko!" he says cheerfully.

"Hi Haku!" Shashuko mimicks (not mockingly). "How are you?"

Haku shrugs. "For being dead? I'm fine. Thanks for making me not dead in your Naruto fanfic, by the way. You?"

"My finger is swollen and I can't type that well!" Shashuko says, hanging her head. "Yubi ga itai desu!" (this means: my finger hurts. There Stephy, I at least translated it. are you less annoyed now?)

"Aw..." Haku says. "... I'd offer to kiss it better, but I kind of can't reach you until I come back in December."

"I know! December 21st. Teh awesome!" Shashuko squeals (and blushes at the 'kiss it better' comment). "I shall hug you! Hard!" she starts laughing weakly. "That --hahaha--- sounded like a threat... haha... BRAINS!" she continues laughing weakly.

"Been reading the end of Harry Potter volume 5, have we?" Haku chuckles.

Shashuko nods. "I have!"

"Hmm..." Haku says. "If you can't type with your swollen finger may I type a chapter?"

"Okay!" Shashuko says.

"Excellent. Could you please summon the hosts now? This portal only responds to your voice after all..."

"Hard not to, with feet like that!" Shashuko says (stephy, I hope you remember what that's from). _**"I SUMMON THE OURAN HIGH HOST CLUB!!!"**_

If you don't know what happens when Shashuko says this by now, please go read (or re-read) the last two chapters.

"What?!?" yell the Weasley rippoffs (the phrase Weasley rippoffs by the way does not count as an HP reference by the way). "But you just finished writing the _last_ chapter!"

"I said I'm getting back on the ball and I meant it too," Shashuko says, snapping her finger. Unfortunately, Shashuko is stupid enough to snap her finger with the finger that is swollen... "ITAI DESU! OWOWOWOWOW..."

"Shashuko!" Tamaki gasps. "Your finger is hurt!"

"Say you'll kiss it better and DIE," Haku says, holding up some senbon (throwing needles) menacingly. Tamaki doesn't realize that if Haku threw the senbon, they wouldn't go through the portal, so he chooses to hide behind Kyouya.

Haku smiled sweetly and put the senbon down. "Well then! Since Shashuko can;t type with her swollen finger, I'm hosting this chapter."

"Isn't that technically Shashuko typing?" Haruhi asks.

Shashuko puts her finger to her lips. "SHHHHHH! I'm supposed to be working on my English essay!"

Haruhi sweatdrops.

"Ahem," Haku says, "Anyway, the first review was from **Princessstephanie**!"

**You guys are acting nicer than normal... should I be scared? Oh well.**

"Well, I haven't done this awhile, so they were probably a little OOC..." Shashuko says, waving her hands in front of her.

"Hey! That's my move!" Tamaki yells.

Shashuko you smirks and retorts, "And _you're_ ridikulus."

**Mori- Who is your favorite Pokemon? Sorry I'm just so amazed that you like that show!!**

"... Pikachu."

**Hikaru- (looks innocent) do you think i could be invited to the next party?**

"Party?" Hikaru asks. ((a/n: I forgot about what this is... what was it again?"))

"That's all this person wrote," Haku notes.

Shashuko speaks up. "... And next we have the stylistic writings of the first-time reviewer **YueAyase-KaoruHitachiin-Lovu**!"

Haku sweatdrops. "Shashuko, didn't you say I was hosting this?"

"Sorry Haku. I just HAD to say that!" Shashuko hangs her head.

"It's okay," Haku says quickly.

**WHOPEE! **

**Say...my first question is...**

**Q: Would Kaoru and Hikaru love to end up together as REAL love? REAL forbbidern love?**

"You mock our symmetry?" the twins gasp in unison.

Kaoru leans into Hikaru. "Hikaru! She thinks our affections are faked!"

Hikaru hugs his little brother. "Shame on you!" he says. "How could our actions be anything but real?"

**Looks at Kaoru blushing**

**My second question is...**

**Q: Would Haruhi choose Tamaki, Kaoru or Hikaru?**

"Out of those three?" Haruhi asks. "Well..." she thinks for a minute... "Definitely not Tamaki."

Tamaki collapses into the Corner of Doom, and the twins grin maliciously. "One of us then?"

"Ah... well, I stand by what I said earlier. Kaoru is a little less troublesome and is relatively calm on his own. So, I suppose if for some bizzare reason I had to choose one of the three of you--- not that I like any of you in that way-- then I suppose to me, Kaoru would be the obvious choice."

Hikaru falls over.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru gasps.

**Edges closer to Kaoru**

**My third question...**

**Q: Does Mori like Mieko?**

"Mieko?" Mori asks. "Ah... maybe."

"YAY!" Shashuko squeals. "AWESOME! GOOD ON YOU, MIEKO-CHAN!!!"

"... I said maybe!" the tall host protests quickly. But Shashuko is off in her own little world.

"They'd make the cutest couple..." she says with big sparkly eyes.

**Looks at Kaoru mischieviously with sparkling eyes**

**Hey...shake my hand Kaoru!**

**BZT**

**HAHAHAHA! YOU FELL FOR THE CLASSIC BUZZER!**

"I can't believe I fell for that!" Kaoru gasps. Hikaru starts laughing.

"Stop laughing!"

Hikaru gasps for air, tears in his eyes. "Aww, c'mon Kaoru, you know it was funny."

Kaoru starts laughing too. "Good one, Yue-san. Props!"

"Um... ehem," Haku says. "That's all Yue-san wrote. Next a review from stephy-chan!"

**woah! i am proud of you, my minion! you actually continued with this! the last tim ei saw you continue with ;a fanfiction that far gone was NEVER! (yes, i will take it back if you CONTINUE THE RETASU FIC) **

"It's so hard to start that up again..." Shashuko whines. "I wrote it before my computer crashed, and now I'm scared to start it up again. How much of it have I sent you...? I think it was more than I've posted. Email or PM it to me, please!"

**heh. i didn't jump when gaara came in, but i doubletook. if you can do that with text. **

"I know," Shashuko giggles. "I love surprising you. Which reminds me! I'm giving you your birthday present today..."

**NO A GAARA COMPETETOR YOU CANT HAVE HIM HES MINE**

Shashuko stares at this comment and laughs. Long and hard.

**hey dianna- do you think haku's beeper thing reacts to when you're in this fanfiction too only he thinks it'd be rude to barge in like you can do on a chat room? that'd be cool. **

"How did you know?" Haku asked, mildly surprised.

Shashuko smirks. "She's just awesome that way."

**gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara gaara**

Mrsandman: yes?

Shashuko walks over to the wall and starts banging her head on it. "... Sorry, wrong ficcy. But I uploaded the 3rd and 4th conversations!"

**ha. practice makes perfect. **

Shashuko giggles. "Indeed it does, Stephy indeed it does."

**anyway, i'm making this review long and annoying on purpose. yup. ...gaara gaara gaara... **

**oh! oh! thanks neriamisia! **

**...although it's true i guess dianna has given me cookie lately... kay dianna you're off the hook. **

**good minion.**

"Why does she keep calling you her minion?" Haruhi questions, sweatdropping.

"It's a long story," Shashuko replies, "One I'm too lazy to explain right now. Who wrote the next review, Haku?"

"That would be **Xx Tohru xXx Seraphina xX**."

"X-ellent!"

**Heyya Dianna-chan! Loved this chapter. You just get more and more awesome everytime. **

"Thank you! Your praise is greatly appreciated!" Kiiro says in her Ayame imitation voice.

**Everyone, what's your favourite movie?**

"Millenium Actress!" Tamaki says, his eyes betting teary. "I almost cry just thinking about it!"

"The Excorcist," Nekozawa says. Tamaki edges away from him.

"Right my favorite movie is Totoro!" Hunny says.

"I love that movie! We learned the ending song in Japanese class!" Shashuko gasps.

Hunny nods. "Let's sing it!"

"I would, but Stephy finds it annoying when I do stuff like that and after all this time not working on the ficcy I don't deserve to torture her in this way," Shashuko chuckles. "And my favorite movie?_** ACROSS THE UNIVERSE**_, of course! By the way if anyone hasn't yet, don't watch 'The Prince and Me'. You shall be scarred for life." she nods gravely. "I was."

"I like that one movie about the floated city..." Haruhi says. "'_Castle in the Sky'?_ Yeah, that was it."

"We like Chucky!" say the twins.

"Pokemon..." Mori says "The Latios and Latias one..." (oh come on you all saw that one coming)

"I was always a fan of the movie 'Hero,'" Haku notes. "It's a Chinese movie, but you can find it subbed in America."

"I saw that movie!" Shashuko gasps. "And I agree--- that movie is AWESOME!"

"I liked the movie 'Minority Report,'" Kyouya says, smiling evily. "It's just so _dark..._"

**Haruhi, if you ever get the chance to come to London take it. London rocks. But then again, I could just be saying that because I live in London. **

"If I ever go, I'll visit you if you like," Haruhi offers.

"Let's ALL go!" Tamaki says excitedly.

"Or maybe I won't... for the sake of your sanity."

**I just remebered, has anyone got a birthday in November?? Because November babies rock!! Then again, I could be saying that because I'm a November baby.**

Shashuko flips throught the back of Host Club Volume 1. "Well, since none of them are Scorpio or Saggitarius, I don't think so."

"Sorry!" says everybody.

Shashuko shakes her head sadly. "I wasn't born in November either. Oh! In today's Horoscope for me in the Onion (yes this is a real paper. the articles are all farce but it's still a real paper...) it says:"

**Aquarius **January 20 - February 18

Dedicate yourself to the vision of poet Herman Hesse, who declared war on cheap, false beauty: Kill every figure skater you can find.

"You're an aquarius too?" Haruhi asks.

"Yep!" Shashuko replies, chuckling at her horoscope. "Oh, how I love the Onion..."

**Kyouya, you should really give up the perveted-ness. It's not attractive. Although, my friend still thinks your the hottest guy on the show. Which is so wrong because Mori is the hottest guy on the show!**

"I'm _working _on it," Kyouya says, glaring.

"... Thank you," says Mori.

**Stephy-chan, I honestly have no idea how people think of questions. Mine are just really random. **

**Once again Dianna-chan. Your awesome. You leaving cracking up with laughter. Bye bye!**

"You're welcome!" Shashuko says.

"... The next review is from Dark-sama!" Haku says, excitedly.

**WE! PREPARE FOR THE APOCOLPSE! MWAHAHAHA!**

**Ahem. Sorry about that...I'm kinda hyper right now...**

**Anyways...I'd like to introduce a friend of mine! Meet the oh so very cute Angel-sama! coughshesaspyforthedarksidecough She's on earth training like me! Here's a description: Short like Hunny, extra cute dark brown sparkly eyes(I have no idea how she can make it shine like that) black hair that reaches just below the shoulders, light skinned...she's just cute K? She'll be talking in quotes. I'd have Shinigami-sama come too but were not on good terms right now...**

"Nice ta meetcha Angel-sama!" Shashuko waves.

**waves then leaves through portal**

**Chibisuke! Get back here!! jumps into portal and drags back the angel Now be nice.**

**pouts**

**She's scared...Tamaki get away from her! You too Kyouya!**

**"Kyouya?" Runs towards Kyouya and nearly trips half way there**

**Ack!! No he's a perv!**

"Shhh!" says Kyouya.

**sits on the floor and cries**

**Alligator tears?**

**sticks out tongue, smiles, and hugs Dark-sama.**

**See she's actually evil on the inside.**

"How could you taint this angel?" Tamaki whines. He is whapped on the head with a giant fan.

**"Hehe, Yup."**

**Ha! She admits it! I'm not crazy!! Now if only everyone else we knew read this...**

**tries to sneak back into portal**

**Ahem. Mori's here too.**

**pops up"Mori?!"sits patiently on the floor waiting for Mori to speak.**

**Mori could you possibly talk to Chibisuke about Pokemon?**

**hums theme song to first season of Pokemon.**

"You like Pokemon?" Mori asks. Mori and the angel go into a very deep pokemon-related conversation.

**Ok...while they're busy chatting away...**

**Emma?...oh lord...I'm not in a hunt and kill mood...how about this come and join me in ruling hell. I'll be sure to keep Kyouya away. If you're interested I'll send you a contract or we can have a meeting later or something. Come find me.**

"If you're readin' this Emma, Dark-Sama wants ta talk to you!" Shashuko yells.

**stares at Dark-sama with big puppy eyes.**

**What?! What did I do?**

"**Me, too?"**

**Um…spy…but um…yea….**

"**Oh, yes of course. I nearly forgot."sigh"I don't think I'm a very good angel. Your evil thingies kinda rubbing off on me."**

**Yay! I'm so proud! I turned an angel evil!**

"Don't be proud!" Tamaki whines. Shashuko pulls a giant spatula out of the portal and whaps Tamaki over the head with it.

"**I'm more of a fallen since you found me when I was all alone on earth."**

**You're mine now. evil grin…and I'm gonna end this before this review can get any longer….say bye bye!**

"**sorry I made this thingie so long. Um…bye."**

**Aarron will take you back to my house.**

"Byas Angel-sama!" Shashuko cheers, waving.

**Anyways…Stephy I normally just think of questions by watching the anime or reading the manga and if something happens I just ask them questions about it. **

**which reminds me, Mori I saw you blushing when they dressed up Haruhi as a girl during the dance party! Don't deny it I got proof!! **

"And... what if I did?" Mori asks.

**Man this review was long! Sorry!**

"Don't be! After all you've done?" Shashuko puts her cheek to her voice-activated portal and rubs the surface around the area of where Haku's cheek is visible. "We don't mind!"

Haku smiled and nods, putting his hand against Shashuko's. "Not to mention Shashuko copies and pastes the questions directly from your reviews. Long reviews she doesn't mind so much. It's just reviews with lots of questions are kind of hard sometimes."

"But it's my work! It's what I live for," Shashuko. "Writing fanfiction is my calling!"

"In addition..." Haku says... "The next review was by Bob the Ant!"

"WHAT?!? My sister?!?" Shashuko gasps. "DAMN THAT LITTLE BRAT! MUST YOU FOLLOW ME EVERYWHERE I GO?!?"

**Hi! I like cheese! :D**

**Do the Hosts like cheese, too?**

** :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D**

"Just say yes," Shashuko says depressedly. "Or she'll come down apon you with all her annoyances.

"Is she that bad?" Haruhi asks as all the Hosts say 'yes' to Bob the Ant's question, out of fear of being annoyed (even Hunny. because bob the ant is evil incanate. and not in a good way.)

"WHENEVER I TYPE, EVEN IF IT'S FOR HOMEWORK, SHE OPENS FIVE MILLION NEW WINDOWS USING KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS! This-- child-- is-- insane!" Shashuko yells.

"This is why she's usually calm," Haku explains. "The only thing that annoys her is her little sister. Shashuko, calm down please? That's all she wrote."

"I'm fine," Shashuko mutters. "It's emo bratling who has problems." she sighs. "Who wrote the next review?"

"That would be **SilverTears713**."

"That's the number on that vault in Gringotts! The one where the Sorcerer's Stone was!" Shashuko gasps, her face suddenly the picture of Pure Happy. "Thank you! For using that number."

**Hey everyone! Happy delayed Halloween! First I'd like to start off by giving hugs to everyone, (Hugs make the world go round! Anyone who disagrees will be punished...you have been warned) Ok so hugs for all of you except Kyouya, cause no offense but you frighten me...greatly.**

"No offense taken," says Kyouya.

"Yay! Hugs!" Shashuko hugs Silver-chan back. "I am the Hugging Fiend! Fear me!"

"We fear," say the twins. Shashuko whaps them with the giant spatula.

**So anywho, I wanna know if you guys celebrated Halloween and if so, what did you dress up as?**

"We did! At Ouran we do almost nothing at school all day on Halloween but dress up and eat cake," Hunny says happily. "This year we all dressed as animals! Me an' Haru-chan were bunnies!"

"We were cheshire cats. What else?" the twins ask.

"I was a giant dog," Mori offers.

"SO WAS I!" Tamaki sings.

"... I was a vampire." Kyouya says cooly. "I chose not to situate myself with these people in this case."

**For my second question, have you guys ever played truth or dare?**

"Truth or dare? What's that?" Tamaki asks innocently, not knowing the horros thereof.

"It's a girly game played by commoner teenagers," Kyouya explains. "I happen to be very good at assigning dares."

"Why does that not surprise me?" Haruhi asks no one in particular.

**Well what would you dare eachother to do? **

"Something stupid. And take pictures," Kyouya says, his glasses shining evilly. "And sell the pictures to the fangirls."

"We'd make Tono do something that makes him look perverted, and then drag Haruhi in at the last moment and see what she makes of it," the twins say, grinning evilly.

"My dare would be the best in the world!" Tamaki says dramatically. "I would find the most--"

"I don't play truth or dare. It's a stupid game," Haruhi says with finality.

Tamaki collapses into his corner.

"HEY!" Shashuko yelled. "TAMAKI, DON'T YOU DARE GROW MUSHROOMS IN MY OFFICE!!!"

"This is no office," Kyouya says under his breath.

Shashuko shakes her head at him. "The office of the mind, it is. I do all my writing from this place. ... As for dares, I'd dare people to sing songs!"

"How would that be a good dare?" The twins say, shaking their heads at Shashuko. "We expected better of you, Amerikajin."

"Imagine: _Tamaki_ singing 'Barbie Girl.' On the _girl's_ part. While _dancing._" Shashuko smirks as the twins snort, then snigger, then fall to the floor laughing. "Ah, the power of the human mind and its imaginings... I am THE QUEEN OF MENTAL IMAGES!"

"I'd dare someone to... that would be mean!" Hunny says, making a face, "Nevermind!"

Mori thinks for a moment. "... Someone else's underwear. On their head."

Everyone stares at him.

"... Clean underwear," he clarifies hurriedly.

Shashuko looks down. "Mori, that... BEST DARE YET!" she beams at the tall boy, who sweatdrops. "Okay, EVERYBODY HUG MOR!"

Tamaki, Hunny, and Shashuko all hug Mori. No one else seems to bother.

**What's the longest word you guys know?**

"Idon'tknowanylongwordssorry," says Tamaki.

"I know lots of big words!" Shashuko says, unconvincingly. The Hosts all look at her funny. "What you don't believe me? Lissensephalic fools..."

Kyouya chuckles at this. "Lissensephalic as an insult...?"

Shashuko shrugs. "It means 'smooth brain' to those of you who don't know... and I use it as an insult all the time in my head!" she nods. "People say retard like it's an insult so why not lissensephalic?"

"But you are lissensephalic," Kyouya says to Shashuko.

"AT LEAST I'M NOT SCHIZOID WITH AN EXTRA CHROMOSOME!" Shashuko yells back.

Kyouya glares. "You genetics don't seem to cover symbiosis," he taunts back.

"You must now about it, Kyouya, since you're so parasitic!"

"Silence, you devolving ape."

Tamaki quivers. "Does anyone get what they're talking about?"

The twins shrug. "Roughly. Actually, most of those terms relate to science we all learned in middle school so if you don't at least halfway get it you're an idiot."

"Smooth brain!" Shashuko yells, hitting Tamaki on the head.

"And so, due to the authoress not knowing big enough words for us all, the questions remains ignored... we're sorry," Haruhi says. "She seems to be suffering from Attention Disorder Syndrome."

"The biggest word I know is encyclopedia!" Hunny says randomly. "Or at least that's the biggets one I can think of!"

Haruhi takes a deep breath:

"Ornicopytheobiblopsychocrystarroscioaerogenethliometeoroaustrohieroanthropoicichthyopyrosiderochpnomyoalectryoophiobotanopegohydrorhabdocrithoaleuroalphitohalomolybdoclerobeloaxinocoscinodactyliogeolithopessopscphocatoptrotephraoeirochiroomychodactyloarithstichooxogeloscogastrogyrocerobletonooenoscapulinaniac. Meaning 'a deluded human who practices divination of forecasting.' In other words Tamaki."

"Thank you, internet!" Shashuko cheers. "If you want to find these words go to--"

http://www.tgmag.ca/tgo.v2e7/v2e7.7xe.html

"--Or not. But that's where I found that word!"

**Do you like figs?**

"YES!" says everyone at once, except Kyouya, who just stares at the review screen.

**What is the creepiest thing a girl has said to you?**

"The creepiest thing I've heard said was-- I'm not going to repeat it," Haruhi sighs.

"One girl asked us to smell her feet!" the twins say, making gagging noises.

"That was my sister. She's a nut," replies Shashuko. "The creepiest thing a girl ever said to me was _Santa. _She said it super creepy so it scary."

"Your friends are so weird," the twins laugh.

"CORN FTW!" Shashuko yells.

"The creepiest thing was-- 'Will you bear my children?' -- only with different wording." Tamaki says, scandalized.

"If that's the worst you've gotten, you really are lucky," Kyouya replies. "The worst things ever said to me are said by Chibiharu-chan."

"What happened to her?" Shashuko says randomly. "I should PM her..."

Kyouya pales. "DON'T!" he yells.

"Creepiest thing..." Mori thinks for a moment. _"Marriage proposal. In a towel..."_

"She said she was gonna take my bun-bun away!" Hunny whimpers.

"When Kirimi was singing the Tokyo Mew Mew theme song..." Nekozawa shivers.

"That Sakura girl..." Haku says. "I'm not gonna quote her either..." he trails off.

**Hm well thats about it, I just want to finish by telling the Author that this is hilarious! Thank you so much for creating this...as well as relieving my boredom. Please please answer this! My sanity depends on it! There is in fact a 100 percent chance that i will go crazy, so no pressure. :-)**

Shashuko hangs her head. "I'm trying... but it's just so hard! I'm gonna try and finish this chapter by the end of today, which is Thanksgiving..."

**Tchüß!!**

**Izzy**

**P.S. Love you Kaoru and HIkaru!!**

"Thank you!" say the twins.

Haku clears his throat. "And now, from **Lukkiester!**"

**Lukkie brandishes a glowing purple sword. Obviously, no one but her has any idea what it is, but she speaks to it and suddenly, everyone's hair and clothes turn hot pink and begin sparkling. **

**"H'lo there, victims- er, host club members, and m'lady Shashuko! I have returned from Symphonia and stolen the Eternal Sword. With it, I can control the uni-!"**

**A boy in red jumps out of a black portal, snatches it, calls Lukkie a dork, and jumps back through it.**

**"Stupid Lloyd. Anyway, I wanted to ask the retarded megane-glasses-freak a question." Lukkie jumps in through portal, slinging an arm around Kyoya and holding him in a rather dangerous chokehold.**

"She's like a second Chibiharu!" Kyouya gasps for air.

Shashuko smiles at Lukkie. "Please feel free to torture Kyouya as much as you like..." she says, smiling but giving off a dark aura (think Hanajima from Fruits Basket).

**Lukkie pauses. "Oh, wait. My question was for the whole group." She lets a turning-blue-Kyoya go. Oh wait, Kyoya doesn't turn blue, that's undignified. He attains a colder pallor. ...PALLOR.**

**"Anyway, you guys tolerate guys as customers, but I never really see any. If you guys inducted a member who was REALLY gay, but still pleased girls, would you tolerate them? What are your feelings towards gay people?"**

"GAY BAD!" Tamaki yells. He gets hit on the head by Shashuko (who is, yes, using Temari's fan).

"I can;t really blame them for liking guys..." Shashuko notes. "Plus if I said I did that would mean..." she giggles. "I don't happen to bend that way."

"Men or women, or their looks, doesn't matter," says Haruhi shrugging. "Besides, if they were realy gay then maybe they wouldn't bug once they found out I'm a girl..."

Hikari and Kaoru shake theirs heads at her. "Haruhi, you have a knack for turning gay men straight. Just look at Tamaki!"

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?" Tamaki yells.

Mori shrugs. "I would... not care."

"If they're gay then that's their opinion!" Hunny agrees. "Not my problem!"

**"Oh, and if you're disrespectful towards yaoi, boys, I have a few assassins who can ensure none of you will ever have children!"**

**Lukkie turns on her heel. A petite boy with spiky blonde hair and enormous eyes follows her, waving quietly back at the group.**

**"Sorry this was so long! It's fanfiction research! Maybe they'll meet him shortly!"**

"Byas!" Shashuko cheers. "Fanfic research? If you post the fic, I wanna read it!"

"Me, too," Haku laughs. "The next review's from **KinKitsune01**!"

**First off, please refer to me as 'Kin'. Okay, questions!**

**Haruhi-san!; On the table before you is a cheque with enough money to pay off your debt and then some, and a contract to sign you up as a lawyer at a successful court. Which do you choose? And why?**

"The contract. I already payed off my debt..." Haruhi says.

"Call you Kin? Okay Kin! We'll call ya Kin!" Shashuko giggles.

**Hikaru-san and Kaoru-san!; Do you intend to get married(not to each other), in the future? If so, to whom?**

The twins speak at the same time. "Not to him, to--" They both look at Haruhi (who thankfully isn't paying attention), then glare at each other.

**Kirimi-chan!; What is your favourite manga? (Wai, you're so cute!)**

_**"I SUMMON NEKOZAWA KIRIMI!"**_

Kirimi appears through the portal. "What is it, Shashuko-chaaan?" she whines. "I was about to take a nap."

"Can I hug you?" Shashuko asks hurriedly.

"Sure, I guess. What's the question?"

"YAY!" Shashuko hugs Kirimi. "Kin wants to know what your fave manga is! Plus she says you're cute."

"Right now? I'm reading Love Hina," Kirimi says. "Thank you for calling me cute! Can I go now, Shashuko-chan? I'm still sleepy."

"SO CUTE!" Nekozawa yells uncharacteristically, and snatches Kirimi from Shashuko's clutches.

"I love you, too, Niichan, but I'm having trouble breathing," Kirimi chokes.

"Sorry!" Nekozawa lets go and Kirimi leaves.

**And finally, Ranka-san!; How did you and Kotoko-san meet? Was it love at first sight?**

_**"I SUMMON FUJIKO RANKA!"**_

Ranka-san comes through the portal as Tamaki rides to hide behind the couch.

Ranka sees the question, then smiles. "I met Ranka when I was out grocery shopping. She had this carton of eggs, see, and when she saw me she gasped and tripped! I got egg everywhere, and she helped me clean it up. Then, I asked for her number. She didn't give it to me. The next day I went to my colledge History class and she had transferred there. I got her to sit with me, eventually, and then eventually got her number, her hand in marriage, and my cute daughter here!" he hugs Haruhi. "Look at her! She's adorable!"

"She is!" Hunny agrees. "What about the 'love at first sight' part?"

Ranka laughs. "Well, I thought she was cute at first, nothing more, but the reason she dropped those eggs was because she loved _me _at first sight," he recalls.

"That's a cute story. Can I write that as a fic...?" Shashuko asks.

"Please don't," Ranka says. "You have too many fics already. Besides, you have to write this fic, Okonomiyaki Type, and your other Ouran fic some more!"

"I will," Shashuko promises.

"She's planning on finishing this chappy today and then working more on Okonomiyaki type," Haku says, "And she's gonna post one of the next ones exactly on December 21st, because that's when Dark-sama is bringing me back."

"Okay, then," Ranka says, "Bye!" he leaves.

"Who wrote the next review, Haku?" Shashuko asks her obsession-object sweetly.

"That would be **Shiawase Iro.**"

**Yo. Great fic, even though I hardly understand the Naruto references.**

"That's okay," Shashuko laughs, "I mainly did that to get the Naruto-refs out of my system. I didn't work entirely (points at Haku) but it worked pretty well."

**Yeah, I've got a question. Maybe more than one.**

**First one's for Kaoru-sama. If you had a choice between being paired with an OC (female) or paired with a guy, which would you choose? BTW, the aforementioned guy is not your twin/anyone in the Host Club.**

Kaoru shrugs. "Depends on which one I can stand more."

**Next question, this time for Hani-kun and Mori-san. If your younger brothers fell in love with Haruhi-kun and ended up going with her, how would you feel/what would you do? Will you commit arson or murder? 'Cos I like arson and murder. Teehee.**

"Both of them?" Hunny asks.

"At the same time?" Mori questions.

"Well..." Hunny says, "As logn as neither of them hurt Haru-chan and made her happy, then I would be happy too!" he grins.

"No." Mori shakes his head. "They're too young for her."

"Agree to disagree?" Hunny asks cutely.

Mori nods. "Agreed."

**Now for Tama-dono... Um, just answer the question which was first directed at Kaoru-sama.**

"I would pick any girl over any guy!" Tamaki says jubilantly. "For I am as straight as a nail!"

"Tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies," Shashuko sings under her breath.

**Hikaru-cchi next! If Kaoru-sama got a black eye after being punched by A GIRL, what would you do. Hopefully you won't hit the girl. Especially if she's my OC. Which I'm going to pair up with one of you twins. Keke.**

"I'd yell at her. HARD!" Hikaru says. "But I don't think I'd hit her.THAT hard."

**Lastly, Kyouya-san's question. Why don't you wear contacts? I mean, after seeing you in that episode/chapter most fangirls went,**

**"OMG Kyouya is so hawt smexy whatever!!1!one!!1"**

**Or something like that.**

"That's exactly why I don't wear contacts," Kyouya huffs. "When they're coming at me like that..." he shivers and turns an unearthly PALLOR (hehe ref to lukkiester's review).'

**Okay, bye. And Kaoru, just to let you know, my friend already snagged you in the PS2 game. I wish I had it... then I could snag you too.**

**laughs evil fangirl laugh while clutching Kaoru doll**

"What PS2 game?" Kaoru asks innocently.

"Some sort of dating game. I'm sure Renge can tell you all about it," Haruhi says.

"That's all Shiawase-san wrote," Haku says, "The next review is from **rui namikaze**!"

"Namikaze?!? Like the Yondaime?" Shashuko gasps. "Does that mean you're related to Naruto?"

"It's just a pen name, you idiot," say the twins.

"SILENCE, WEASLEY RIP-OFFS! OH YE OF LITTLE FAITH," Shashuko says, sounding suspiciously like Tamaki.

**Hi, Shashuko-chan... (nice name,,)**

**I wanna ask da hosts,,**

**Hohoho,,**

**Haruhi,,**

**U are so cute!**

**My brother's in love with you... --'**

**His name is Kira Namikaze,,**

**He has dark brown hair and gentle brown eyes,,**

**He's kinda like ur friend, Arai,,**

**A bit shy, but very gentle,,**

**He's great at basketball and the guitar (he likes classic songs like Fur Elise n stuff),,**

**I want ur opinion on him,, **

**Thanks, Haru-chan,,**

"He sounds like an interesting person," Haruhi says.

**Tamaki,,**

**Uhm... Ur da best,, Hehehe,,**

**A bit weird, but still the best!**

**Gehehehehe...**

**I love it when u go to a corner,,**

**Or when you do those rose petal things, **

**You ARE the king!**

**Heheh!**

"It's something I learned in France! That can only be taught to frenchmen," he says, "So sorry, I cannot teach you! Thank you for reminding me why I am King!"

**Kyoya,,**

**I like u **

**But I like the Twins best,,**

**Can u gimme the twins' photobook??**

**I'll pay for it,,**

**Hehe,,**

"It's 30,000 yen," Kyouya says (that's roughly 300 bucks).

**Hunny,,**

**Here, gotcha some cake,, **

**With a cherry on top!**

"Ke-ki!" Hunny cheers. "Thank you! ITADAKIMASU!"

**Mori,,**

**...Hi,**

**Ur cool,**

**n fresh,**

**n silent,**

**...did I say u were cool?**

"Yes," says Mori, "You did."

**N lastly,, my faves!**

**HIKARU n KAORU!! XD**

**Hikaru,,**

**What wud u do if:**

**If I take Kaoru away from u,(evil smirk)**

**When Kaoru gets angry with u,**

**Kaoru shouts at you,**

**Some pop star (guy) says he loves Kaoru world wide and kisses him on the lips infront of live television. OO (pardon, my imagination)**

"Let's see..." Hikaru says, "Kill you, kill myself, wonder what I did wrong, kill the pop star guy."

**Kaoru,,**

**What wud u do if:**

**You see Hikaru with Haruhi?**

**Hikaru avoids u to get Haruhi?**

**Hikaru snaps at u?**

**You were in love with someone, then Hikaru bands u to have a relationship with the girl, but then, Hikaru gets a girlfriend after 2 or 3 months!! (again, pardon my imagination)**

"Hmmm..." Kaoru thinks for a minute. "Kill Hikaru, kill Hikaru, avoid Hikaru until he got over it, kill Hikaru."

"Wow..." Shashuko says, "The Weasley ripoffs sure are violent today, ne?"

Both of you!

Please gimme a scene of you both fighting and ending up in each other's arms! XD Kaoru, gimme that uke cry!

If you do it,, I'll give u both money!

(and some for Shashuko or Kyoya if both of them can make the twins do what i want )

"That's an awkward request," Hikaru says.

_"Hikaru!" Kaoru says, "Are you embarrased of me?"_

"Here we go," Shashuko says smugly.

_"NO! Kaoru, I would never be embarrassed of you!"_

_"You sound like you are!" Kaoru says angrily. "And her I thought the YOUNGER brother was supposed to be the one who worries!"_

_"Dammit, Kaoru! Don't you get it?" Hikaru asks, looking away. "I just don't wan to do something just because the reviewer tells me to!"_

_"Hikaru..." Kaoru runs and hugs his brother. "... I understand."_

_"Kaoru..." Hikaru murmers into the youngers hair. "Thank you."_

"Wow..." Shashuko says. "Why is shonen-ai so much easier to write than normal fluff?"

"Because you're a girl, and so writing something with a girl in it is slightly awkward. Writing something between to members of a sex of which you are not a part is easier for a person," Haku says.

"That makes sense," Shashuko replies.

**Jaa,, that's it!**

**Sorry it's too much, Shashuko-chan!**

**Luv u all!**

"It's not too much," Shashuko says hurriedly. "I don't mind long reviews, I just don't particularly like the ones with too many questions, are reviews with more than one question that's directed towards the whole of the Host Club. Is that all Rui-chan wrote?"

"That's all," Haku says, "Hey wait! I think her review dissappeared!"

"No, she put her review in chappy 2."

"But I thought you only replied to reviews from the most recent chapter?"

"I know. I kinda didn't realize that she's reviewed on Chappie 2 until it was too late..."

"Okay then. The next review was written by **hpnai**."

**Heya Di- chan! First off jumps thorugh portal. Runs over to Tamaki and glomps him.**

**I don't get why so many reviewers do mean things to you. You are my fave character! You rock and not to mention are really hot! Oh and I have a Kuma- chan too! You are my second favourite manga character, the first is KYO SOHMA! sighs**

"Thank you!" Tamaki says dramatically.

"Fruits Basket for-the-win!" Shashuko agrees, slipping into Sohma-Ayamode. "After all... Fruits Basket is superior for on reason, and one reason only! _Ayame_ is in it!" she starts talking normally again. "Heheh... I agree, Kyo is awesome. If you haven't guessed yet, Ayame happens to be my favorite character... _you may shower me with praise! _Or something like that."

**Lets go of you and glomps the twins. **

**Will you two be my brothers? You two are so kawaii. Your twincest act rocks hard. Even better than Tamaki's. (No offense Tama- chan but theirs is more entertaining then yours) Please be my brothers... we'll pull pranks on Kyouya. That would be uber fun! **

"That's an interesting request," the twins say at the same time. "But we don't really even know you yet. You can be our friend though! What kind of Kyouya-pranking ideas do you have?"

"Why do I have a feeling this is a bad idea?" Kyouya asks.

**Runs over to Kyouya and almost glomps him before realising that he does not like being glomped all that much. **

**Kyouya! Will you be my nii- chan? I'll give you 99 trillion US dollars and as many bras as I can buy. Ranging from sports ones to lacy frilly kinds. Oh and I didn't wear them.**

"So... many... bras..." Kyouya says. "How can I refuse? _Imouto-chan._"

"Wow, he's easily won over," Haruhi notes.

**Glomps Hunny. **

**I'm blood AB too and it totally rocks . Oh yeah and this is a magical supply of sweet stuff. These cakes, cookies, chocolates etc. will ensure that you will never tun out of them and will never get health problems. And they are scrumptious.**

"I LOVE YOU!" Hunny says.

**Waves to Haruhi, Shashuko and Mori.**

**Well I'll start asking the questions.**

"Go for it!" Shashuko cheers.

**Tamaki: Can you visit me? We can play with our bears. :D Well anyway do you like France or Japan better? And would you rather have never met Kyouya or Haruhi? And do you prefer Antoniette to Mori? (Shashuko please ensure that Kyouya, Haruhi, Antoniette and Mori do not hear Tamaki's answers.)**

Shashuko shoves earplugs (the entirely soundproof kind) into everyone's ears. "Okay Tama-boy. Go."

"Visit you? I'd love to! You seem to be a complimentary person," Tamaki says. "I prefer Japan to France. I'd rather have never met Haruhi, because it was Kyouya who first showed me friendship."

"That's deep. I'd pick to never have met Kyouya," Shashuko says.

"I prefer Antoinette to Mori of course! Mori is kind as far as I can tell, but Antoinette is my pet from since I was twelve and I got her in France! She's closer to me," he explains. "Shashuko, you may take the earplugs out now."

Shashuko pulls the earplugs out of the plugged ears.

**Kyouya: If you were the only person in the world and could choose one other person to be in the world with you, would you choose a really sexy stripper which has perfect features etc.and would do anything you wanted her to or Haruhi?**

"Haruhi, because strippers rarely have much sense," Kyouya says.

**Hikaru: Well I do not like you better than Kaoru or Kaoru better than you BUT I would rather you be my boyfrend than him if it is any consolation. Well my question is would you rather marry Shashuko- san or Renge- kun? They are both otakus...**

"That's a stupid question," Hikaru says.

Haruhi shoved earplugs into Shashuko's ears. "Talk," she says flatly. "Just answer the question."

"Over Renge or _her?_" Hikaru jerks his thumb at Shashuko. "Definitely Renge."

"CAN I PULL THE EARPLUGS OUT NOW?!?" Shashuko yells.

"Yes, you may." Haruhi pulls the earplug out of Shashuko's ears.

**Kaoru: I do not like you better than Hikaru or the other way around BUT I would rather you be my best friend than him. My question is whether you would rather eat a chocolate cake or a caramel ice- cream?**

"Chocolate cake," Kaoru says, noddin. "_Definitely_ chocolate cake."

"He doesn't like caramel," Hikaru says.

"To each their own," Shashuko huffs.

**Hunny: Do you like Hikaru or Haruhi better? (Shashuko please make sure they can't hear)**

"EARPLUGS ON!" Shashuko yells, earplugging Hikaru and Haruhi.

"Haru-chan of course!" Hunny says. "Hika-chan is a meanie." he makes a face.

"EARPLUGS OFF!" Shashuko yells again, pulling the earplugs out of the earplugged.

"These earplugs are becoming a regular," Haruhi notes.

**Mori: Do you like Kaoru or Kyouya better? (Shashuko...)**

"EARPLUGS ON!"

"Kaoru. Less evil."

"ROCK OFF-- I mean, EARPLUGS OFF!"

**Haruhi: Would you rather be a boy or girl if you had the choice?**

"I don't really care," Haruhi says, shrugging, "But since I'm more used to being a girl, let's go with that. Girl."

**Ume- chan: Why are you so obsessed with the dark until you are possessed by it? Oh and tell Kirimi she is KAWAII!**

"Ume-chan. From Umehito? I have to admit that I like that better than 'Neko chan'..."

"Well then!" Shashuko says. "You're Ume-chan, now, Ume-chan!"

Nekozawa stares at Shashuko, then continues. "I don't really know why I like dark things so much, they've just always intrigued me. And I shall pass your message to Kirimi on."

**Sha- chan unlike the other reviewers, I don't think you have portrayed Kyouya, Mori, Tamaki and the twins correctly. Good job so far though:) Real cute story.**

"I know," Shashuko says, "I'm working on it. Mori and Kyouya I make out of character on purpose sometimes for the sheer hilarity of it, but I usually try to get them right. Sorry..."

"Don't feel bad, Shashuko. One last review!" Haku says. "An anon review from **Amy who will become a vampi...** then penname was too long so the last word was cut off. I assume that last word was 'vampire'?"

**tsk, Kyokyo you don't believe that my baby sister is more powerful than you, you are SO DOOMED hahaha. It's true that she thinks you're kawaii so maybe she'll let you be one of her henchmen (if you stop being perverted) when she rules the universe on all dimensions :)**

"Sure..." Kyouya says.

**Emma wants more bribery Dark-sama, sorry. Emma just wants to establish her power. She'll bring some ambassadors from her other realms to take a look around first so it would be helpful if they could have a tour.**

"Please don't make Dark-sama angry," Haku says. "We like Dark-sama."

**Neria I am NOT cute gosh! Why do people say that? I am so potentially evil you can't believe it : P geez. I will so be a vampire, Emma will not prevent me forever. I love Nekoneko and Bereznoff ! Nothing can stop me! I will get bitten...someday...**

"Hear that Neriamisia? She says she's not cute..." Haku says.

"The reviewers are fighting each other..." Shashuko says. "Just like in the Ask a Saiyan fic by **Yuko the Saiyan**- sama! My inspiration..." she gets big eyes. "But seriously, guys, don't argue too much."

**Satoshi is so AWSOME! (like me hehe)**

"That was random," Shashuko says.

"Aren't you going to get Satoshi...?" Mori asks.

"Nope. Too lazy."

**Hm, now for a question...**

**Twins- What was your first Yaoi scene? Your favorite?**

"Our whole life is a yaoi scene," Hikaru says, hugging Kaoru close, "And so it is our favorite one."

**Tama- Who did you host first?**

"My first customer was Ayakanouji," Tamaki laughs.

**Hani- hugs you're so kawii, come hang out with me please (I luv lolishotas) **

"Okay! And thanks for calling me cute!"

**Nekoneko the bestest person in Ouran- What do you think of the hosts individually? What's your favorite food? Did you like manga like Kirimi when you were little? What do plan to do when you get out of college? What is your favorite subject? Will you be my buddy?**

"Well... Kyouya is a greater evil, which I canno hope to surpass," Nekozawa starts, "The twins scare me a little, Hani reminds me of Kirimi, Mori's silence is refreshing, Haruhi's reactions to other people can be funny, and Tamaki, of course, is _very_ fun to scare." he chuckles. "My favorite food is beef okonomiyaki. When I get out of colledge, I plan on taking up the family business, the toy industry."

"You family makes toys?" Shashuko asks.

Nekozawa waves Bereznoff in her face. "Why do you think I carry a doll around all day? My favorite subject is History, particularly when we study the Black Plague, and yes, I will be your friend. You wanted to get bitten by a vampire, right? I can probably hook you up..."

**I like pie :)**

"Me too! Happy Thanksgiving!" Shashuko cheers, copying Amy's face. "As the last reviewer, you get a cyber cookie!"

"Can we go home now?" Ask the twins rudely.

"Yes, you may," Shashuko informs them fake-sweetly.

The Hosts, and Nekozawa, all run out.

"Well, that's a wrap, and I'm done hosting."

"Teehee... Haku hosting..." Shashuko giggles. "I'd designate you..."

"Same to you," Haku says. "Wait! Didn't you say there was a contest you were going to announce?"

"Oh yeah!" says Shashuko. "It's my drabble contest! You guys, PM me with a prompt and I'll write a short drabble for the end of the next chapter with the one I find funniest! Don't put your prompts in your reviews, because then they probably won't be accepted. Good luck everyone! Bye now!"

The camera fades out, with the song 'Till There Was You' (the Beatles version) playing in the background.


	14. it'sbeenlikehalfayearbutI'mBACK!

Shashuko is lying on the couch, hugging a pillow and staring abjectedly into space. All of a sudden, she jolts up.

"I MUST ANSWER QUESTIONS!" she yells randomly. _**"I summon the Ouran High Host Club!"**_

__The portal pulls out the Hosts, plus Nekozawa.

"Hi guys! You ready?" she asks.

The twins stare at her. "You're so EAGER... usually you take forever for the next chapter. You have _ulterior motives! _Don't you?" they grin evilly.

Shashuko blushes and looks away. _"," _she mutters under her breath. "... AHEM! The first review ish from **Princessstephanie**!"

**I have a question for Tamaki, Kaoru, Mori, Hunny, Haruhi, Kyoya, Hikaru, Nekozawa, and Haku (plus anyone else who wants to answer)! What kind of drunk are you? Annoying, stupid, mature...ect? And since none of you are of age and have probably never drank because you are to much of good boys... what kind do you think you will be in the future?**

"Tono's a _perverted_ drunk," the twins say immediately.

"He is," Haruhi agrees readily. "I don't get drunk."

"Yes you have," moan the twins, "But you're a serious drunk so that was no fun."

Haruhi pales. "What did I do...?" she whispers to Shashuko.

Shashuko shrugs. "I got high off DDR music. I don't really know what happened after that."

"HOW DARE YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR SISTER!!" Tamaki yells, hitting them both over the head with a baseball bat.

"... Unfortunately, I seem to be a serious drunk myself," Kyouya notes.

"_Unfortunately?_" Haruhi asks, edging away.

"I probably an annoying drunk!" Hunny says, nodded cutely.

"... Stupid drunk," is all Mori says.

"I'm an annoying drunk," Nekozawa laughs nervously. "Or, so I'm told. What's their next question, Shashuko?"

"That's the beauty of it!" Shashuko beams. "Princess-chan's review was only one question! Next review's from **Kinkitsune**."

**Haruhi-san!; You payed of your debt!? When!? Either way, congratulations! Good job! Oh, and when reading so many manga to Kirimi-chan, did you come across Hana-Kimi? The lead character is in a similar situation to you(well the needing-to-cross-dress part, at least)! I recommend it, if you should ever get bored and have completed all your homework and stuff for the day.**

"I payed off my debt in, I believe, the second to ast episode of the anime," Haruhi says, "Though I'm not completely sure where that is in the manga. Hana-Kimi? Heard of it, vaguely, but haven't found the time to look for it in the library."

"Just go to !" Shashuko says, "They've got scanlations of almost every manga you can mention! It's fabulous," she says. "I got all my Furuba spoilers that way."

"Actually, you got most of your Furuba spoilers on Wikipedia," Haruhi points out.

"But I _experienced _them at Onemanga!" Shashuko says quickly.

**Benibara-san!: I've been meaning to ask since the twins pointed it out when you showed up... But how DID you get your uniform under the Ouran Uniform?!**

"Oh NO!" Tamaki says, "NO Zuka club!"

Shashuko grins evilly. _**"I summon Benibara!" **_

All three Zuka Club members come through the portal.

"You summon _one_ of us? You summon _all_ of us!" They cheer, laughing.

"You guys don't do that!" Shashuko whines. "I've broken three portals this way! Though even you guys can't break this one because it's from hell."

"Please, just answer the question," says Haruhi tiredly.

"Of course!" says Benibara. "We hid the uniform under by..."

"Scrunching it up _really tight!_" Suzuran finishes Benibara's sentence.

"That still seems impossible," Haruhi says, sweatdropping.

"A good magician _never_ reveals their secrets," Nekozawa points out.

"Thank you! To think, a boy with _sense. _We need to talk more," Benibara says.

"Ah... ha..." Nekozawa says blandly.

Hikaru and Koaru grin evilly and walk over to the portal to push the Haku Button.

Haku appears on the portal's surface. "Huh?" he asks.

"You're wearing the pink outfit!" Shashuko squeals.

Haku smiles. "I am," he agrees.

"Shashuko!" says Benibara. "Why did you hide this beautiful girl from us?"

"I'm a guy," Haku tells the Zuka president flatly.

"Don't be silly! Of course you're a girl!" Hinagiku protests.

Haku smiles politely and shakes his head. "No, I'm pretty sure I'm a male."

"Prove it!" Benibara challenges.

Haku shrugs one of the shoulders of his pink yukata off (what? real men wear pink!), revealing pale, smooth skin (and MAN-CHEST).

Shashuko's expression turns from shocked, to _extremely _happy, to unconcious on the floor with a blush and a nosebleed.

"See?" Haku says, "I'm a guy. Please, don't call me a girl, it's grating on my psyche."

"How could you decieve us in this way, Haku!" Suzuran sobs. All three Zuka clubbers run out through the portal, crying.

The twins poor a glass of water on Shashuko and she wakes up.

"I think Haku almost turned the Zuka Club straight," the twins laugh.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!" Shashuko asks, wiping nosebleed blood off of her face.

"After I halfway took my shirt off, you fainted with a nosebleed and then they all ran out crying and saying I had 'decieved' them," Haku laughs.

**Kyouya-san: What makes you the happiest? Asides from profit, that is. In contrast, what annoys you the most?**

"After profit? Personal gain. The most annoying thing, of course, is Tamaki."

**And finally, Kasanoda-san!: How are things between you and Haruhi nowadays? And how is Tetsuya-san doing?**

_**"I summon Kasanoda Ritsu!"**_

__Kasanoda appears through the portal, looking very confused.

"Shashuko...? Why am I here?" he asks. "I thoght I answered all of the questions you had for me." He shivers and pales at all the perverted (Haruhi-related) questions Shashuko has teasingly asked him, which will not be recounted on this show for the sake of the rating.

Shashuko grins. "Yes, but these questions aren't from me," she explains.

Kasanoda stops shivering and returns to his normal pallor. "Okay..." he reads the question. And blushes.

"... Me and Haruhi are buddies," he says remorsefully. He brightens up. "And Testuya-san is just fine, thank you."

Shashuko grins evilly at this, and Kasanoda gets scared again and runs away.

"Well, then!" Shashuko laughs. "That was eventful... and that's also all this person wrote. Next from **Lukkiester**!"

**Lukkie evaporates in from thin air, dragging the little blonde boy from her last review with her. He rubs his head, his face apprehensive. Lukkie, for some reason, looks like she has wanged Sephiroth from FFVII on the head and stolen his clothes.**

**"Meet," she says dramatically, shoving the teen through the portal and into Kyoya, "Kumo-kun!" **

**Kumo, as a regular reaction, breaks Kyoya's glasses with a palm to the bridge of the nose. He runs to beside Shashuko, pulling out a piece of crumpled paper.**

**"...Lukkie has a request. She would like you to take care of me until she finishes ... er, dominating the world?" He shrugs, balling up the paper and hurling it at Kyoya. "She also ...ordered... me to hurt the megane. I've no idea why!"**

**Kumo smiles charmingly, even moreso than Haruhi's best. Which is quite peculiar, but he is related to two of the cutest anime characters ever.**

"Okay!" Shashuko says cheerfully. "I don't really follow FF, let alone FFVII, but don't worry! We'll let you hurt the megane anyway! Can I hug you?"

Kumo's reaction is to sweatdrop. "No..."

Shashuko smiles. "Okay then." she ruffles his hair.

**"Anyway," he says, taking another piece of paper out of his pocket, "She has a few questions. The first is for Takashi-dono. 'Takashi-dono, how would you describe your relationship with your little brother? Do you ever fight? Does your relationship go beyond the surface of his admiration?"**

"... He's my _brother,_" Mori replies. "Of course we fight... sometimes."

**"Geez, did she just read Shakespeare? She wrote this next one weird. It's for... Kaoru-san. 'Kaoru, how the brother's love for one dies like a sparrow in the winter. The noise unequivocal to the quiet where the pain sweeps the silence in the throbbing numbness?'"**

**AWKWARD PAUSE HERE.**

**"She's asking if you two have ever felt any anger at each other for being so like the other. She also writes, 'If you give me any of that dramatic I'll fricasse your vital organs.'" Kumo chucks the piece of paper into a waste paper basket.**

The twins note the threat and laugh nervously. "Well... yeah," they admit. "But that was only once."

**"Anyway, whether or not I'm allowed to stay...?" Kumo trails off, looking troubled. "Shashuko-nii will be written into the fanfiction if she complies, apparently..." **

**Lukkie brandishes white-hot saucepan at Kaoru and Hikaru out of random portal. **

**She's pulled out again by a blonde man who looks like a taller Kumo and a brunette with a scar on his face.**

"I need to go on Wiki and read up on FFVII," Shashuko notes, "Before I die of not knowing who the hell these people are. And now... DARK-SAMA'S review! W007, **darkspiritlords**."

"W007 indeed," Haku agrees readily.

**Hi everybody!! Lookie! Lookie!! whips out a gaint elf balloon Isn't he cute? I got him on Black Friday during the Macy's Thanksgiving parade! huggles the balloon until it looks like its ready to pop any second then releases it It took ages to get one!! Those old ladies can be really forceful when it comes to cute balloons you know. hands it over to Hunny to play with Don't pop it now ok?**

"It's cute!" Hunny laughs. "Macy's Thanksgiving Parade? Like in New York?"

"I got my favorite hat in New York," Shashuko notes, reaching into the portal to pull out a beat-up red hat. It's one of those puffy baseball cap things (what's the word for those? at any rate I have one).

**Hm...do you think we've hit Tamaki on the head enough? I don't think we have... Okies the first person to knock out Tamaki gets to live 5 extra years after their deathdate and a batch of my yummy peacan cookies(I'm pretty good at baking)! I made a deal with Death(rather I bugged him till he agreed.)**

"Fun to annoy, that Death guy," Shashuko giggles. "Or at least, he is from what I hear. I only met him when he came to pick up Haku..."

**Oh Shashuko! I was wondering do you think I could have a pair of those earplugs? My classmates are a pain! Their conversations are as dirty as Kyouya's mind and more annoying than Tamaki's ranting! Thanks!**

"Here yas go!" Shashuko hands Dark-sama a pair of earplugs. "Have fun."

**More Bribery? Um...how about this? I'll give you access to our smaller vault of weapons(can't give you access to the other one sorry) You may use the weapons however you like except make copies of them or upgrades unless you ask first and as long as heaven, hell, hades/or spirit world and all of their resedence reamain undisturbed by it. Oh and for the sake of Shashuko's life leave earth alone as well until she passes away. That and I'll give you a little tiny ray that turns anything nonliving into chocolate! You may have a tour if you like but not right now because I have a few projects to finish right now.**

"Wow..." Shashuko says. "These earth-conquerors are so FABULOUS..."

"I think that's the incorrect use of that word..." Haku laughs.

**OH LORD! How can I forget?! Shashuko you're hurt! Watch this! Haku please move away from the portal. touches the portal with a single nail and whispers something under her breath and flinches and quickly pulls away and hides her hand in her pocket Eheheh...Haku please walk through the portal and tend to Shashuko's needs and excuse me...I have something to tend to..bye bye!**

"You realize that my finger is fine by now, right?" Shashuko says.

"I'm not gonna let that stop me," Haku chuckles, walking through the portal to pull Shashuko into a hug. She turns a shade of red to make any Hyuuga proud and smiles.

"Thanks Dark-sama! I owes you again. Maybe I'll write a one-shot for you..." she notes. "... As long as it isn't for something I don't know or SasuSaku. Becase there's no way in Hell (no offence meant) that that pairing will ever work out." Shashuko nods (still blushing). "Okay! Heeeeeeeeeere's **Xx Tohru xXx Seraphina xX**."

**Heyya Dianna -chan...and everyone else! **

**I just have one question, because I should be doing my coursework stupid evil bep ICT teacher, who would you say your best friend is?**

"My best friend is KYOUYA!" Tamaki yells jubilantly.

"Hikaru," says Kaoru.

"Kaoru," says Hikaru.

"My best friend?" asks Haruhi. "Well... it's not anyone here."

The Hosts all face-fault.

"My best friend is Takashi!" Hunny cheers.

Mori's reply, of course, is, "...Mitsukuni."

"My best friend isn't someone who shows up in the anime or manga..." Nekozawa says, "but they're in the Black Magic Club."

"My best friend?" Haku asks. "Probably Zabuza-san."

"Didn't Kishimoto say those two were gay?" Hikaru and Kaoru point out, grinning evilly at Shashuko, who smirks back at them.

"Actually," Haku says, "Kishimoto said we were his first _attempt _at a gay couple. In truth, Zabuza-san is more like a father figure."

Shashuko's smirk grows bigger and she sticks her tongue out at the Weasley rip-offs.

"Well, then, everyone's said their best friend except me and Kyouya," says Shashuko. "I don't have a best friend because saying I have one might hurt my other friends' feelings. ALL MY FRIENDS ARE THE BEST! ...Kyouya?"

Everyone looks to Kyouya apprehensively.

He sighs. "It's Tamaki," he mutters.

Everyone cheers and applauds Kyouya for saying this out loud.

**One more thing...I agree completely with SilverTears713, hugs do make the world go round, and if anyone disagrees I'll break your bones into tiny little pieces, kay?**

**Loved this chapter!! Xx Tohru x Seraphina xX**

"HUGS _FOR THE WIN!_" Shashuko agrees, hugging Haku tighter. Haku sweatdrops and nods. "And now: It's_** Chibiharu-chan**_!"

Everyone besides Kyouya cheers again.

**ana-chan!glomps u I missed u so much crys for a bit and then stop **

**and and I have no question since i'm stupid like thatgrins stupidly **

"That's okay," Shashuko laughs. "Of course, by glomping me you are also hugging Haku. Isn't he huggable?"

**look at Kyouya then smirks thinking of something mean to do to kyouyaHeyy kyou-chanfake sweet voiceif you want I'll give u a kiss uses her kawaii smile technique**

Kyouya blushes, and looks away.

**(if kyouya falls for italso cover everyone ears except kyouay):scream really high pitch and loudHIRUMA-KUN!! There's a perv trying to kiss me!(hiruma is from the manga eyeshield 21 )a guy in a football uniform witht he number 1 on it and has spikey yellow hair with pointy picred(sp?) pops out of nowhere and starts shooting kyouya with a machine guy while laughing like a maniac **

Shashuko plugs earplugs into everyone's ears as they pass around the popcorn watching Kyouya become full of holes.

By the end of Hiruma's onslaught, Kyouya is unrecognizable.

At this point in time, Shashuko does not get back to this fic for, like, two months. During this time, she tears her Akatsuki cloak, sews a plushie of Haku, gets Haku under the mistletoe (several times), and renders usage of the new computer in the house, which happens to be an iMac. Also in this point in time, she works on her Naruto fics, one of which probably won't be posted until it's ALL THE WAY finished. (edit-- except now I've posted 13 chapters of it o.O)

(Eventually, though, she goes back to this ficcy XD)

**yay Hiruma-kun!cheers him on and when hiruma stop shooting kyouya I give him a hug before he leaves and he hug me back and write in his book some blackmail on kyouyabye bye hiruma-kun!grins and waves good-bye**

**oh and bye guys me have to go now!gives everyone but tamaki and kyouya a hug and skips away**

**if he doesn't):oh well shrugsoh and bye guys me have to go now!gives everyone but tamaki and kyouya a hug and skips away**

**-chibiharu-chan**

**(ps I really really did miss u guys D except kyouya of corse )**

"I missed you all too," Shashuko says, eyes big and teary, "I'll try to update more often!"

"But she probably won't," the twins say slyly. Shashuko hits them over the head with the binder she used in sixth grade, which has been classified by the government as a Weapon of Mass Destruction.

Then, Shashuko smiles cheerily. "The next review is from..." her face falls. "My sister, **Bob the Ant aka Hat-boy**."

**Hi! I'm back! Mwahahahhah...**

**Turns on Teletubbies and handcuffs hosts to couch**

**What do you think of the HOT new TV show, Teletubbies? It's SO totally kewl!**

**Anyway, here you go! Hands Kyoya a My Little Pony. It's a fun big boy toy! -**

"And just when I thought I was safe from her online!" Shashuko laments.

Kyouya throws the My Little Pony out through the portal, where it flies into Tokyo Mew Mew and hits Ryou on the head.

Shashuko sighs in relief. "That's all the brat-ling wrote!" She cheers. "Let's see what **Arisa Ayase** has to say now."

**Hi ya'll**

**Oh, and this is YueAyase-KaoruHitachiin-Lovu, I changed my name**

**I would like to say that...**

**KAORU IS MINE! I SNAGGED HIM IN THE PS2! I HAVE HIS MERCHANDISES (still collecting)! I TOOK THE LIBRETY TO SEARCH THE WHOLE WEB FOR PICTURES OF HIM! I THINK OF HIM EVERYDAY! HE'S MINE! (clings onto Kaoru and cries a flood)**

**Ahem...sorry for all that drama... (wipes tears)**

Kaoru just kind of stands there. "That's good to know..." He says awkwardly.

"Where do I get that PS2 game?" Shashuko asks.

Haruhi sweatdrops. "Shashuko, you don't have a PS2..."

**Question 1...**

**(walks up to Hikaru with a chainsaw in one hand, and mysterious power in the other with an evil glint in the eye)**

**Hikaru...tell me Kaoru's DEEP, DEEP, DEEP, DEEPER THAN HELL AND THE EARTH'S CORE secret or I'll saw you into pieces and feed your body to the dogs... ok...that's too much..(puts away all the stuff), I'll take a picture of Kyouya and Tamaki in flirty poses and Photoshop them so it seems like they're lovers and put it up on the net and the Host Club webpage!**

"TamakixKyouya?" Hikaru says, then starts laughing, along with Kaoru.

"Do it! Do it!" They say in unison.

**Question 2...**

**Kyouya... why don'cha wear contacts? I know someone already asked this question, but in the PS2 game, you were NOT wearing glasses in one scene...that made my friend mutter "Kyouya...Kyouya...Kyouya...so cool...so cool...so cool..." all day long ,and it was FREAKY! (goes into a corner and reminescence)**

"That's exactly why," Kyouya says. "I don't need fangirls all over me."

Haku furrows his brow. "But I thought you were supposed to be a pervert?"

Kyouya's response is, "I am a pervert. But fangirls are the scum of the earth." He smiles refreshingly.

**Question 3...**

**Hikaru...do you know you're like Kyo Sohma from Fruits Basket? Or...most people say...**

**And Kaoru...they say you're like Yuki Sohma...**

**And Tamaki (looks in disgust) they say you're like Shigure Sohma...what they call the pervert...**

**And Kyouya...they say you're like Hatori Sohma...**

**And Hani-senpai...obviously you're like Momiji Sohma...**

**And Mori-senpai...they say you're like Hatsuharu Sohma... (cries in a corner)**

**And Haruhi...(wipes away tears) they say you're like Tohru Honda...which is kinda unlikely because she has a weak heart while you just couldn't be borthered...**

**Anyway...how do you guys think of the opinions?**

Shashuko reads the review and starts laughing. "Here's a better comparison: _**I Summon the cursed ones of the Sohma clan, and Honda Tohru!**_"

Fifteen people come through the door.

"You better have a good reason for bringing me here," Kyo growls. "I was about to beat that damn rat Yuki once and for all!"

"Hey!" Hunny says, "He's like Chika-chan!"

Tamaki approaches Akito. "Oh illustrious head of the Sohma clan! It is an honor to meet you, sir!"

Akito's eyes widen angrily and yells (spoiler alert), "I'M A GIRL!!"

She slams him into a wall, which cracks considerably.

"There, there, Acchan, calm down," says one Hanajima Saki, appearing out of nowhere. She turns to Shashuko.

"I see you're writing for once. Keep it up, the higher-ups will be pleased." She disappears.

Nekozawa stares after the place where she was before she disappeared. "Like a vampire bat, she fluttered through my line of sight," he sighs, sounding eerily like someone reciting Shakespeare.

"Haku-san, which shampoo do you use?" Ritsu asks Haku timidly.

Haku replies, "I make my own. You can have a sample of you like."

Ritsu nods excitedly, then gasps. "Imposing on Haku-san to make me shampoo? How shameless! I APOLOGIZE I'M SOOOO SORRY I APOLOGIZE THE THE UNIVERSE!!"

Ritsu leaves, running out through the door, while muttering how sorry he is.

"Ahhh, Tamaki how adorable your Haruhi is!" Ayame announces. "I shall congratulate her with a kiss of joy!"

Haruhi glares. "Don't touch me," she hisses, edging away from the flamboyant snake-man.

Yuki nods his approval. "He's an idiot, stay away from him."

"Tohru, Kyo's a pervert," the twins say earnestly. "You should stay away from him."

"Tamaki too," Shigure adds.

"STOP CALLING ME A PERVERT!" Kyo and Tamaki yell at the same time.

Shashuko stares at the mayhem, the turns to three boys who are leaning against the wall.

"Aren't you gonna do anything?"

Kureno mumbles quietly, "Why bother?"

Hatsuharu nods. "If we get in there, it'll only get worse."

Mori just nods.

"I love your uniform!" Hunny tells Momiji. "I wish we wore that here instead of this thing. It's not as cute..."

Momiji nods. "...Why would anyone compare Tohru and Haru-chan?" He asks after a minute.

"The only things they have in common are brown hair and being normal, at least compared to the people around them." Hunny agrees.

"And having us small adorable blonde boys hugging them," Momiji adds. Hunny nods.

"I need them to leave!" Shashuko says. "It's harder to write with this many people!!"

"LIKE HELL WE'RE LEAVING," Black Hatsuharu growls.

Dark Hunny glares at Shashuko. "They're staying."

Shashuko hangs her head, then pulls a battered, blood-encrusted frying pan out from behind herself.

"I thought I would only have to use this on Aburame Shino..." she said. "It seems I was wrong."

"SHINO SWATTER!" Shigure yells in fear, then every Fruits Basket character except Hatori and Tohru runs out.

"Why aren't you scared?" Tamaki asks in a stage-whisper. "It;s the Shino swatter."

"Shashuko would never hit me," Tohru explains. "She's too nice."

Shashuko smiles back at Tohru. "Your vote of confidence is reassuring. Seriously, though, you should leave."

"Oh!" Tohru says. "Okay, I'll go." She walks out through the portal with a spring in her step.

"And Hatori?"

Hatori writes something down_ in his ledger, _then leaves.

"... I think that answers what Fruits Basket characters we're most like," Haruhi says. "... Sort of."

**Question 4...**

**How do you guys think of me as?**

"Fangirl," announce the Weasley rip-offs.

"But that's okay," Kaoru adds hastily.

**Question 5...**

**Do you guys play any rock intsuments? Like guitar, bass guitar, keyboard, drums? I play the guitar!**

"I play drums! I play drums!" Hunny says cheerfully.

"I could do keyboard," Tamaki says, "Because of my status as a piano prodigy! I'm just that amazing."

"I'm learning to play guitar," Shashuko says, "But I'm not that good. I just started... oh! And I used to play violin at school."

**Question 6...(wow, I'm asking alot...)**

**Shashuko...why do you summon the Host CLub like ur god? No offence...**

"Wow, you have a good point there..." Shashuko says. "Wow. ... Umm, well, I am an authoress, and of course if I summon someone they have to sign a contract with me..."

"Like in Naruto?" Haruhi asks tiredly.

Shashuko nods like a spastic person. "Yeah! Except your guys aren't my summons or slaves or anything. If anything, I work for you."

"Except we can't fire you," the twins add.

**Question 6...**

**How do you guys think of the pairs HikaruxKaoru and KyouyaxTamaki? I know we girls are somewhat sick-minded theses days...**

"Ummm..." The Weasley Rip-offs sweatdrop. "Well, we kind of portray that first one, don't we?"

Shashuko grins. "YES on all three counts!"

Everyone else is too shocked for words (except Haku, who has no comment as he does not really read Host Club fanfiction).

**Well...Domo Arigatou! See ya!**

**(Fades away like dust**)

"Bye Bye!" Shashuko cheers. "Now, who's next? ... It's **Arctic Dragon**, who I believe is a first-time reviewer! Love your penname, Arctichan."

**Hi Hi! waves I really like reading this, it's answered a few questions that I've always wondered about. mind if I ask some more? These questions are for everyone except the host I'm asking about!**

**Number 1: How in the world could Kyouya and Mori be possibly any cooler than they are now? Total fan of you guys!**

"We couldn't," reply the black-haired bishies, Kyouya smugly and Mori solidly.

**Number 2: Name the one person who could have Haruhi if you couldn't (And Kao-chan and Hika-chan can't say each other)**

"I would pick Kyouya!" Tamaki says. "Because he would respect her!"

Haruhi eyes Kyouya, who is sketching in his ledger yet again, warily. "I'm not too sure about that..."

"I'd pick Takashi!" Hunny says adorably.

"Tamaki." Mori says.

Kyouya says nothing.

Hikaru and Kaoru grin evilly at Shashuko. "We'd pick Haku."

Shashuko hugs Haku over-protectively. "I hate you both."

**I hope you guys make a second series! or at least hurry up and release the dvds in NZ sometime soon!**

"YeSSSS!" Shashuko agrees fervently. "MORE ANIME!! And now, the reviewing stylings of **Sailor Star Mars.**.."

**Nice fic!**

**Questions/dares:**

**1: What kind of animals does Haruhi-san like? I dare you to put a banana peel directly in Tamaki-san's path.**

"I like rabbits," Haruhi says blankly, flashing that wide eyed smile. In response, the twins and Tamaki all say, "Cuuute..."

Haruhi, as usual, is oblivious to their blatant crushing. "And as for the dare..." she glares at nothing in particular, "That would require getting near him, so, no."

**2: Does Nekozawa-san like Maths? I dare you to do the same dare as Haruhi-san.**

"I love how Maths send people into despair..." Nekozawa chuckles, placing the banana peel under Tamaki's foot as he paces around the room ranting about how adorable Haruhi is.

The Host Club King is sent flying into the wall.

**3: Where would Tamaki-san like to be right now? By the way Tamaki-san, did you know that your name is a girl's name? lol. I dare you to dye your hair black.**

"I HAVE BEEN DARED!!" Tamaki says, running back through the portal to die his hair, ignoring the question completely.

"What an idiot," the twins note.

**4: Kyouya is so freaking funny, lol, the evil attitude he has nearly makes me roll on the floor laughing. If you ask if you are really that funny, the answer is yes. I'm so random! I dare you to dye your hair red.**

Kyouya glares at Sailor Star Mars, but she can't tell because his glasses are shining.

"I refuse to die my hair," he says menacingly (Star-Mars-chan goes into peals of laughter). Then, he smiles refreshingly. "Thank you for complimenting my evil, though."

**5: I will now give Glazed Cherry cookies to Hunny-kun! (does so)**

"THANK YOOOOOUUUU!" Hunny stuffs the cookies down his throat.

**6: Mori-san, you can have some as well if you want.**

"Thanks," Mori says politely, taking a cookie elegantly from the tray and biting into it. (At this action, I invite every Mori fangirl reading this to imagine him doing this at their own peril. And Stephy... imagine Gaara. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!)

**7: I dare Hikaru-chan to spray-paint Tamaki-san's hair purple and dare Kaoru-chan to spray-paint Tamaki-san's hair green at the same time so that Shashuko-san can laugh her butt off at the struggle.**

Just then, Tamaki walks in with his hair black from _his_ dare.

"GET HIM!!" The twins chorus, tackling him with the spray paint while Shashuko laughs her butt off, looking very like she's having a seizure. The result is a Tamaki who looks like he walked through a splatter-painting contest.

**8: When Hikaru-chan and Kaoru-chan finish doing that, I dare them to spray-paint Kyouya's hair brown so that Shashuko can laugh her butt off again.**

Kyouya takes one look at Hikaru and Kaoru and they shrink away. Shashuko rolls her eyes and grabs the hair spray, giving Kyouya brown hair, while laughing her butt off (again).

Kyouya pulls out blue hairspray and a spraying battle ensues, the twins joining in the fray.

**rofl, in my opinion, this is the funniest review I have ever written.**

"Keep it up!" cheer Shashuko, Kaoru, and Hikaru, who are all covered in brightly colored hairspray. "That was fun!"

Shashuko, whose hair is splatter with blue, green, and purple, grins, then sprays the rest of the contents of her can at Kyouya, making his hair mostly brown. "Now for** summer-loven-2**!"

**Hey! I'm tired now so I'll just say stuff that comes to mind . **

**To everyone: How was you turkey genocide day?! Mine was ok, I made sushi! Speaking of which (gives everyone some sushi) I got my learners permit! I feel sorry for all the squrals already. What are your thoughts on Naruto Uzumaki?**

"We're Japanese, we don't do Thanksgiving!" say the entire Host Club.

Haku, being from another reality altogether (which has computer, but no guns or cars), just shrugs.

Shashuko grins. "I'm vegitarian, I don't do turkey. Wow... was it that long ago that I last updated?"

She grabs all the unagi (eel) sushi off the plate. "I'll eat seafood if it's in Japanese food, though."

On the subject of Naruto... Haku sweatdrops, Shashuko goes into a rant about his uke-ness makes him cute, and everyone else is confused.

**Comments: I love you all with the white hot intensity of 1,0 suns!**

**Ok time to do some Homework! Later!**

"BYE BYE!!" Shashuko squeals, waving.

At this point in time, Shashuko obsesses herself with her sucky Naruto fics because she pairs herself with Haku in them, and doesn't work on this fic for over a month

"I HAVE A SUDDEN NEED TO ANSWER PEOPLE'S QUESTIONS!" Shashuko gasps. "The next review's from **Kira-chantheotaku**, whose pen name had to be ignored on spellcheck!"

**Hellooz! I've been reading this ficcy for a while and I luv it! opens portal and jumps in Now I can ask my questions properly!**

**kyouya- deep breath YOU ARE AN OBNOXIOUS, CONCIETED, STALKING, CREEPY, EVIL, PERFECT UKE FOR TAMAKI. what would you do if I burned all you computers and posted everything in your ledger on every site known to man (and some only known to chipmunks)? your song tsumetai yoru is okay.**

"If you burned my property..." Kyouya says slowly, a shadow covering all of his face except for his glasses, "You would die a slow and horrible death by _squeegee. _Then, once you had finally died, I would take my offered position as a co-ruler in hell and spend an hour everyday of your soul's pitiful existence extremely painful, whether or not you were originally assigned to Hell." Ominous squiggly purple lines rolls off of him and organ music is heard in the background.

"What's a squeegee?" Hunny asks.

"Window cleaning device," Mori explains. "Made partly of metal."

**tamakiki-hehe...that doth shall be your new nickname. You are a narcissist, okay? stop being so flirty! BTB you obviously don't think of Haruhi as a daughter, so just come out of the closet already! What would you do if Haruhi married Nekozawa? guilty beauty love is awsome!**

Before Tamaki can say anything, Shashuko grabs some earplugs (the good kind) and blocks out all sound from Haruhi's ears, as well as everyone else's (excluding those of herself, Tamaki, and Haku).

"To answer your first question--" Tamaki begins, "What does admitting I'm gay have to do with Haruhi? --Not that I am gay," He adds quickly (this is what 'coming out of the closet' means...). "And dealing with Haruhi as my daughter is just more FUN!"

"Fun is an excuse made of win!" Shashuko announces. She double-high-fives Tamaki with the back of her hands.

"Second question--" Tamaki continues, "If Haruhi married Nekozawa..." his face becomes the ultimate picture of horror. "NO! I WON'T ALLOW IT!" The Host Club King huddles up in fetal position, rocking back and forth.

"He'd be extremely distraught," Shashuko supplies. "Oi, Tama-boyyy... there's one more comment for ya."

Tamaki turns around, sniffing, reads the last part if the review that is directed towards him, and stands up with rose petals flying around him.

"Kira-hime!" He exclaims. "Your compliment is appreciated!"

Shashuko laughs and reclaims her earplugs from those who had been ear-plugged.

**the hitachiin twins-i just love saying your name like that. isho funness.What do you guys think of HikaKao, TamaKyo, HikaHaru, KaoHaru fics/parings? i wuv your song Bokura no Love Style! Hitachiincest forever!**

"We're Hosts," Kaoru notes, "However people want to pair us in their fanfictions is their own business. We don't care..."

"I don't like the amount of Haruhi pairings..." Hikaru mutters.

**hunny-glomps you're so adorable and sweet and stuffz! I doth luveth your song Doki Doki Waku Waku! Was it fun singing it? Do you ever get annoyed when people think your a little kid? I think your dark sides name should be Maple Syrup... Here's a super-cake pulls out a Ginourmulungous (if its not a word it is now! ) cake with every flavor known and 400 layers.**

"Yaaaay!" Hunny cheers. "You like my song? Yes, it was fun to sing and no, being taken as a little kid is fun! Then I get to tell them off and watch their faces fall...

'Maple Syrup'? That's a good idea!"

When the cake appears, Hunny's eyes go wide with _food-love._

"Wow... thank you," he whisper quietly, before quite literally diving into the cake, sending frosting everywhere.

**mori-glomps Yayness! I doth lurveth your song Itsumo Soba Ni! teary eyes isho prettyness! my #1 fave! when you get wierd facial expressions it's hilarious because its so unusual and then you look like a puppy...Is it ever annoying when people make steriotypes about you? Those people are baka! You're a nice, caring, doesn't talk so much that your ears bleedglares at Tamakiki kinda guy. that is very hard to find these days...i think there is a rule at my school that says all boys have to be baka or pervs to enter... u rock WOOt! Hyuugacest all da way!! besidess Uchihacest will never happen!Mwahaha!**

"Yes, it never will," Mori notes, slightly dazed by the wordiness of this comment. "...And... thank you."

**haruhi-You Rock! Even though your stuck with some of the most annoying people on the planet looks at everyone besides Mori, Hunny and Nekozee (new nickname Mwahahaha) you still keep you temper. Do you hate the girls uniform? i think that dress is evil!! its so giry and bright and poofy...it burns! i think i'll "edit" it...**

"I tried it on once..." Haruhi notes. She glares into space "The puffy sleeves are _unnecessary_ and _annoying._"

"And itchy," Kyouya adds absentmindedly, writing something in his ledger.

After a long, awkward silence, Kyouya notices that everyone is staring at him. "What? My sister used to complain about them all the time."

"By the way, feel free to 'edit' that dress any time you like," Haruhi says darkly. "I'll buy one just for that purpose."

**nekozee-Yayz! You rock! the black roses are awsomeness! goes chibi why dosh Nekozee be 'fwaid of da light? kitties isho da cuteness!!**

"Yes," Nekozawa agrees, "Kitties are Da Cuteness. I fear the light because it shuns me so..."

**all-Mata Ashita is the 2nd best song eva! Byezez! jumps through portal with ouran girls uniform in a bag...while going thru portal, stars singing (to the tune of Elmo's World theme): dodo dodo dodo dodo Hunny's World dododo, dodo dodo dodo dodo Hunny's World! dododo, Hunny loves his cakie, Mori-sempai too, thak's Hunny's World!**

Shashuko gives a thumbs up. "Nice parody! I love Sesame Street... it's so cute... And yes... Mata Ashita is in fact a song made of awesome! I downloaded that song illegally off the internets and now it gets stuck in my head nonstop."

Haruhi sweatdrops. "Now to hear from an anonymous reviewer known only as **Reiko**."

**Ok, after reading this for so long (it's great by the way) I have decided to ask some questions.**

**1) Ok this one is for Kyouya, since he seems to run the Host Club behind the scenes, how do you change the Host Club room so dramatically each day? Honestly, I think it's impossible without causing chaos around the school with all of the props you bring in.**

"Oh, that's easy," Kyouya says, "I order props and have Hunny and Mori put them in the desired places, then clean them up afterwards."

Hunny smiles excitedly. "Then, Kyou-chan gives me cake! It's me and Takashi's extra special helper job!"

**2) Ok this is for Mori-senpai, why do they label you the 'wild' type? Because you seem more reserved (in a cute way) to me.**

Mori's eyes widen. "I... don't... know..."

Everyone looks at Tamaki.

"I did not mean 'wild type' in the sense that he's uncivilized," Tamaki says nervously. "I was thinking more like an alligator or crocodile, which will be still and calm until necessary, then suddenly shows an outburst of strength!"

Shashuko blinks. "Really? Then how come you said the other day that Mori-san is like Tarzan?"

Tamaki covers his face with his hand in a 'facepalm' gesture. "I meant he was strong..."

"He still is!" Hunny says sagely.

**3) Um...next is Tamaki, do you come up with all of the Host Club cosplaying ideas and themes or does everyone pitch in? And if you do then you do a great job at it**

"We all have brainstorming sessions before and after club hours!" Tamaki announces. "Though Renge and Kyouya seem to have the better ideas..."

"Because Renge is a girl, and understands what girls like," Kyouya says to himself, marking in his ledger.

Haruhi looks confusedly at Kyouya. "Then how come _you_ have such good ideas, Kyouya-sempai?"

Kyouya freezes and doesn't say anything. The entire room goes silent.

"... Ummm..." Shashuko sweat-drops. "Thank you for your thought-provoking questions, Reiko-chan! The next review is from **LadyDream3512**."

**hello,um...well**

**for "ate" shashuko( ate means; 1:sign of respect)**

**first of all i really like it :)ur the best **

"Wow..." Shashuko gasps. "Thank you...!"

"What's with the reaction?" Kaoru and Hikaru ask at the same time. "She's acting all... not loud..."

"She's been reading Fruits Basket," Kyouya explains. "And decided that she was going to be more polite, like the protagonist Honda Tohru."

The twins stare at Shashuko, then back away slowly.

**my question is for you and "kuya" mori(kuya:sign of respect)**

**who do you prefer;misty or ash?**

**pikachu or mew?**

"Misty and Pikachu," Mori says blankly, staring into space.

"PAIRING!" Shashuko yells. "... What? It's a game my sister and me play. Whenever we see two people interacting in a friendly or adorable manner on TV or in a movie, we say 'PAIRING'. It's fun!"

"I didn't mean it like that," Mori says.

**who do you like best in the host club?(exeption to haruhi)**

"Hunny," Mori says. He gets glomped by Hunny and Tamaki.

...Wait.

Tamaki?

Mori turns to stare at the taller blonde. "Tamaki... why?"

"That moment was cute!" Tamaki says, tears of joy leaking down his face.

"You're totally right!" Shashuko says. She glomps Mori too.

**for kaoru**

**who do you like best; your brother or haruhi?and do you really**

**mean it at the last chapter(about killing your brother?)**

"Umm..." Kaoru looks away. "The person I like more is..."

Shashuko grabs her super earplugs and puts them in the ears of Kaoru and Haruhi. "Go get 'em, Tiger."

"Well..." Kaoru looks away embarrassedly. "I don't... I don't know. Hikaru is the person I've been closest to for the longest time-- SHASHUKO DON'T HUM BILLY JOEL SONGS! And Haruhi, well..." Kaoru blushes. "She's... amazing... I don't _know _which one I care for more..."

"Obviously your brother!" Tamaki says. "Because Haruhi belongs to--"

Shashuko grabs a giant gourd out of the portal, hits Tamaki over the head with it, and puts it back through.

"Let Kaoru think for himself!" She ties him to a chair with purple rope and gags him. "Now, Kaoru, the second question...?"

Kaoru narrows his eyes. "I meant it."

**for hikaru**

**same as your brother.**

Shashuko switches Hikaru's earplugs to Kaoru.

"Well, Hika-chan?" Hunny asks, eyes wide. "Which one do you like more? Kao-chan or Haru-chan?"

Hikaru sighs. "Well, Kaoru is my little brother," he says, "I've lived all but three minutes of my life with Kaoru, and as a result he is very precious to me. Haruhi is my..." he blushes. "My... ummm..."

"Love interest?" Shashuko nudges.

"NO!" Hikaru yells. "She's-- she's--"

"Your love interest," Kyouya says flatly.

Hikaru bows his head. "Fine... have it your way..._ for lack of a better word, _she's my love interest. Well... both of those people... are very precious to me. I don't _want _to choose!"

"But, if you did...?" Shashuko wiggles her eyebrows at the older Hitachiin suggestively.

"I... I don't know!" Hikaru says, looking away. "I don't... know."

"Well, without putting Haruhi and Kaoru both in danger, there's no way to figure this out," Shashuko sighs. "Kay... I'll just take the earplugs out now."

She takes the earplugs out of Haruhi's and Kaoru's ears, but leaves Tamaki in bondage.

**for kuya mori,**

**what will u do if huni doesnt like u anymore?**

Mori's face turns an unhealthy shade of white. "I would..." his brain fizzles out and he falls over, unconscious.

"He'd do that!" Shashuko laughs, pouring a bucket of ice cold water over Mori's head.

**for kuya tamaki**

**do you like haruhi or as in like like?**

Shashuko unbinds Tamaki. "You have a question, so you're safe from me for now. But seriously, stop acting so selfishly. Whoever Haruhi ends up with is up to Haruhi and not YOU. Now answer the question."

Tamaki smiles. "Haruhi? I don't like her, I... I LOVE HER!"

"WHAAAAAAAAT?!" Hikaru, Kaoru, Hunny, and Shashuko gasp. "YOU ACTUALLY REALIZED YOU DON'T THINK OF HER AS YOUR DAUGHTER?!"

"YES!" Tamaki says.

Haruhi blinks. "That explains a lot..." she says to herself. "That explains A LOT..."

"YOU DIDN'T REALIZE IT?!" Everyone male in the room (yes, that includes Haku) yells, before falling over (Mori grabs Hunny as he drops to cushion the shorter boy's fall).

"Kaoru! Are you all right?" Hikaru gasps, sitting up slowly and shaking Kaoru's shoulder.

"I'm... all right..." Kaoru mumbles, but he winces as he sits back. "I... think. My knee hurts a little... could you kiss it better?"

"Of course," Hikaru says, gently brushing his lips against Kaoru's right knee.

"Umm, Hikaru..."

"Yes, Kaoru?"

"It's my other knee."

"... I knew that," Hikaru says awkwardly. Everyone sweat-drops.

"Looks on the bright side," Shashuko says quietly to Haruhi, "In all this Twincest commotion, Tamaki forgot that he confessed to you and won't press for an answer. He won't remember 'till later."

"I... I guess that's a good thing," Haruhi says. A light blush covers her cheeks.

**for kuya kyouya**

**are you really perv? cause my cousin says you says**

**so..**

**can i have one picture of you all(i can pay for it**

**atleast)**

"Yes," Kyouya sighs, "I am a pervert. Did you miss the chapter where Shashuko showed everyone the pictures of Chibiharu-chan in her underwear that I drew in my ledger?"

Shashuko gives a peace sign. "Well, there was some UlquiHime fanfiction, too, but I hadn't read Bleach at the time so I didn't get it when I read it. ... Hey, Kyouya?"

"No."

"But--"

"No. You can't read my fanfictions."

"Awwwwwwwwww..."

**for ate haruhi**

**same as tama-chan.**

"Umm..." Haruhi blushes. "I... well, I..." she starts fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "I think of him as a friend in the very least."

Tamaki brightens. "So, there's hope for me?"

Haruhi glares at him. "Not of you keep pushing it."

**for kuya huni**

**have some cake and chocolates**

**do you think you can be mad to someone?**

**(please let it be not me)**

"I can get mad," Hunny says happily. "I just don't do that very often since it's more fun to be happy!"

**who do you like best haru-chan or mori?**

"Takashi of course! Haru-chan is my friend, but Takashi is my very very best friend! Sorry Haru-chan."

"I'm all right," Haruhi laughs. "You've been friends with Mori-sempai for years and years. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't beat that."

**Sorry it is so long.**

**love you all**

"That's o-kay!" Shashuko giggles. "I'm in a question-answering mood right now anyway! Besides, your questions were interesting. Though I don't know what that was about Hikaru and Kaoru killing each other... damn I really need to read the rest of the manga."

Shashuko spins around a few times, skips in a a circle, then skids to a stop.

"The next reviewer is **HarunoRen**!"

**Takashi, which is best hyugacest: NejixHinata, HinataxHanabi, or NejixHanabi? Hyugacest RULZ!!**

Mori blinks. "NejixHanabi."

**Tamaki how would you do if your ex-best friend from France came to the host club to destroy the host club out of jealousy?**

Tamaki gasps. "Jean-Paul would _never _do that!"

**Kuma/Beary how do you feel about Tamaki and the Host Club?**

Tamaki starts laughing. "AHAHAHAHA! Surely, HarunoRen-san, you realize that stuffed animals cannot talk!"

"Or can they?" Shashuko grabs her remote and points it at Beary, pushing a red button.

Beary slowly stands up and walk towards Tamaki.

"Suoh-saaamaaa..." Beary says in a child's voice. "I wuv you, Suoh-saaamaaaaa..."

Tamaki smiles. "Beary, I love you, too!" he grabs the teddy bear and starts swinging it around.

It says, "WHEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Beary-chan?" Tamaki asks, spinning to a halt.

Beary looks up at Tamaki with wide, shiny eyes. "Yeees, Tamaki-sama?"

"What do you think of me and my friends in the Host Club?" He asks.

"Well..." Beary thinks for a moment. "To me, Tamaki-sama is the best, ever. Those twins are... incorrigible. Kyouya scares me. Mori doesn't talk much, but he seems a nice guy. Hunny is adorable, and Bun-bun is an excellent conversationalist. And Haruhi's just plain adorable."

"What a smart bear!" Tamaki exclaims.

**Bereznoff how do you feel about Nekozawa, the host club, and the dark magic club?**

"Let's find out!" Shashuko cheers. She pulls Nekozawa out from behind the couch, where he'd been hiding so as to not attract too much attention to himself, points her remote at Bereznoff, and presses the red button.

Bereznoff suddenly is a little less droopy then before, and starts moving a little as it talks. "A question for me? Wow! This is unexpected... well, Nekozawa is a great guy. He set me up with my girlfriend Sabina, plus he lets me sleep at his house and carries me around everywhere. The Host Club are a little werid and way too falmbouyant."

Tamaki face-faults and hides in his Designated Emo Corner, while Haruhi nods in agreement.

"As for the Dark Magic Club," the puppet continues, "They are Made Of Awesome. The Best. Club. Ever. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"Sure," Shashuko laughs, pressing a blue button at Bereznoff.

Beary yawns. "Me, too?"

Shashuko nods. "Totally." She presses the button at Beary as well.

**Haku do you know where Kimimaro is?**

"Huh?" Haku asks. "Me?"

Shashuko gives him a 'death glomp' and giggles. "Yes, you, you adorable person you. Where's Kimimaro?"

"Kimimaro?" Haku thinks. "... Oh, that guy. He was in my class at the Academy. Umm... I think he's dead. We got out of touch once he went to Orochimaru a couple years ago."

"Awww..." Shashuko says. "I wanted to ask him a question. I can only get dead people from YuYu Hakusho, DragonBall, and Bleach, or any other manga where the realm of the dead is a place visited and returned from. But in Naruto, we don't see where the resurrected guy goes, so I can't pull in dead people. Sorry! But I'm pretty sure they put him in heaven." She sniffs. "Poor guy... Kay, the next review is from **Intimidating**!"

**I have a problem, I have a scary attitude like Kasanoda-sama and other times I'm as creepy as Nekozawa. Either way people are scared of me. I feel stupid but I don't know how to change. Any advice?**

Shashuko grins (still hugging Haku)._** "I SUMMON KASANODA RITSU!"**_

__The portal swirls a bit and Ritsu pops out.

"We have someone here who had in intimidation problem," Shashuko says. "Kasa-kun, Neko-chan, is there any chance you know why people are or were scared of you?"

Nekozawa grins frighteningly. "I'm scary because I talk creepily, I mostly say things about creepy stories, and because of my manner of dress, particularly in the fact that it hides the upper half of my face."

Kasanoda smiles awkwardly. "I used to not know why people thought I was scary," he admits, "But now I know: I glared at people all the time, I talked rudely and like I was going to hurt them, and I seemed angry all the time. I rarely smiled in public, or, in fact, at all. Good luck on improving yourself! It's a tough task, but it's worth it."

"What wisdom, Kasa-kun! You can go home now."

Kasanoda nods and leaved through the portal.

"The next reviewer is** Arctic Dragon**!"

**I've got just one more question after reading chapter 13. what WOULD happen if Tamaki met Ayame Sohma?**

"This is what would happen-- _**I SUMMON SOHMA AYAME!**_"

The long-haired bishie flies out of the portal.

"Haruhi!" he says. "You've gotten even cuter than before!"

Haruhi takes a step away from him.

Tamaki bristles. "Step away from my Haruhi!" he yells, pulling Ayame away from the female host.

"Ah!" Ayame says. "I didn't realize she belonged to you! I am so sorry for my interference! Could you ever possibly forgive me, oh Host Club King?"

"Yes!" Tamaki says, grabbing Ayame by the hand. "I forgive you a hundred times over."

Haruhi's left eye twitches. "I... I think... they're in _love._.."

"PAIRING!" yell Shashuko and the twins. Shashuko hugs Ayame and gently places a small white snake back into Fruits Basket where he belongs. "Now, **Neriamisia**!"

**I'm Gaara's buddy, don't worry Stephy. I get Sasori :) such awesomeness he has. Dark-sama, Emma says thats fine now. I don't really have many questions but...**

"Oh,_ good,_" Shashuko sighs in relief. "You don't wanna see Stephy angry. Glad we got that overwith."

**Everyone: How would you react if your genders were switched?**

Shashuko grins. "I'd put on a dress anyway!"

Tamaki falls over and starts moaning in pain. "I'm... NOT... a girl..."

"I'd wear pink," says Hikaru, "And I'd wear blue!" Kaoru finishes. The Weasley rip-offs both give the 'V for Victory' sign.

Mori blinks. "People would underestimate me in Kendo... I'd win."

"But you always win anyway!" Hunny points out.

"But I'd win easier."

Hunny blinks. "Wow, that's possible? If I were a girl, I'd..." he thinks. "Marry Takashi!" he grins.

"You can do that anyway," Shashuko says.

"But it's not legal in Japan yet..." Hunny whines. Shashuko hugs him.

"If _I _ were a girl..." Kyouya pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose so they gleam evilly. "I'd sneak into--"

"We don't wanna hear it," Shashuko says quickly. "What about you, Nekozawa? Haruhi? Haku-kun?"

"I'd..." Nekozawa blinks. "Well, the only change you'd all notice would be by voice, since I wear this baggy cloak all the time," he notes. "So I guess I'd do about the same things I do now."

"I don't know..." Haruhi laughs. "I never thought about it." she shivers. "And I don't want to think about it anymore."

"I'd run from the fanbase," Haku says, "Very fast. As fast as I could."

**Kasanoda: I know an okama that really likes you. Will you hang out with him?**

"Wow, Kasa-kun, you're getting popular!" Shashuko reaches in and pulls out Gaara.

"Whoops," she laughs, shoving Gaara back in before he gets pissed enough to attack her and pulls out Kasanoda.

"I might just always summon you at the start of the chapter," Shashuko says. "Summoning you nonstop is getting annoying. Answer the question, kay?"

Kasanoda nods. "Umm... I... don't know. Possibly. It all depends on his personality."

"Well said, Kasa-kun! You can go home now."

Kasanoda goes home.

**Takashi-sama what is your favorite era in history? Do you have rival Ninja and/or Samurai families?**

"... Feudal era..." Takashi says blankly. "Rival families... Moronomiya, Aizawa, Hitsugaya, Kurosaki, Hinamori, Yamada, Kuchiki... that's all I can think of right now."

**Nekozawa are you a girl?**

Nekozawa sweatdrops. "Last time I checked, no."

"OOOKAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Shashuko says. "You all owe this person since this last review is what made me answer these last couple of questions instead of just working on my other fan fictions. It's **Chibikiki-chan**! Who, unless I'm mistaken, is **Chibiharu-chan** in disguise?"

**ah anna-chan?! crys I mis u ,haruhi, the twins, hunny-sempai, mori-sempai, tama-baka and strangly i also miss kyo-teme too TT so please update soon TT**

"I miss you too!" Shashuko says, looking at her feet. "I'm soooo sorry I haven't updated! ... Since November! AHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M SOOO SOOO SORRY! I APOLOGIZE TO THE WORLD I APOLIGIZE THE UNIVERSE I'M SO SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY--"

"It's okay," Haku says, "Calm down." Shashuko hugs him.

Then, she grins. "Oh that's right. Thanks for reminding me about Kyouya's problem, reviewer-sama! I'm actually gonna send him to Pervert Rehab, so he's not gonna be a hazard to women anymore. Also, I'm confiscating his ledger."

Shashuko grabs the ledger from Kyouya and pushes him through the portal to his rehabilitation facility, giggling.

Then, she opens the ledger and starts looking for Kyouya's Bleach fanfiction.

"Oh, yeah," she says, "You Hosty types can go home now."

The entire cast of Host Club (that is present) runs out through the portal.

Shashuko closes the ledger. "Hey, Haku?

"Yes?"

"Where's Deidara?"

"I think he had a mission or something..."

"Awww... pity." Shashuko notices that the fic is still being written.

"Why are you guys still here! GO REVIEW!"


End file.
